A/N - So sorry it's been an age since updating. Just when I thought things were settling from my Mother's sudden death (as well as dealing with the death only a couple of weeks earlier of an Aunt and as my sister and I are the only relatives left in the UK, having to deal with her estate) - well, lets just say things didn't go to plan. And just when it all began to settle again - again, stuff happened, including finding out I was anaemic (most likely to do medication I have to take for my RA).
It's meant as much as I've wanted to write - it's just been the furthest thing from my mind. Coupled with pure exhaustion - well - it just wasn't happening. However - a window of opportunity occurred, and I've grabbed at it with both hands to try and get something done.
Honorcpt - once again you've made this possible. I've missed us working together and it's been fantastic to be back doing this with you!
Any mistakes are my own and I hope they don't detract from the story! Apologies if they do for you. And that's enough from me...
Chapter twenty five
Ellie stormed in to her small apartment, anger coming off her in waves.
I can't believe I lost control, I was only going to see Doctor Maura... argh... I can't even think of her name, that hussy... I just wanted to gather information about that bitch Jane Rizzoli, because I could see they were friends, but as I stood there in the shadows, watching as lips met, and hands roamed... how dare they! How dare they defile the beauty of Sue's soul. In a morgue no less? Have they no conscience or shame? I know I shouldn't have reacted, it was stupid of me. Sue, I hope you can forgive me, but they were... it was disgusting and I had to show her the error of her ways. That she couldn't behave in such a manner without punishment.
If words could be spat out in someones mind, that was exactly what was happening to Ellie right at this moment. Her mind was spinning with the events that had just happened.
She kissed another woman, having professed she loved you Sue? How could you love someone but then be kissing like that, declaring love like that so soon afterwards? I understand? Sue, Sue, Sue... I told you no-one else could love you like I could. They both need to be punished. It isn't enough that I discipline just one of them. I promise you Sue, I will exact revenge for you. Neither deserve happiness for betraying your memory like this.
Ellie then began to move more in to her apartments living room and she began to pick up random items, before throwing them at whichever wall she was facing at the time. Some things broke, others merely rebounded, fuelling her anger further, and she picked them up again, only to have them repeatedly thrown until either the item gave way and finally broke, or the wall did. She didn't care, destruction was what she needed right now. She could hear shouts from some neighbors to keep the noise down. She yelled back for them to "Mind their own fucking business." adding to the chaos of her apartment.
Her fists were being clenched and unclenched rhythmically. While her nails were short enough for them not to break the skin on the palms of her hands, the sheer strength and repetitive nature of the action was now causing bruising to appear where the fingers kept coming in to contact with the softer tissue of the palm, but Ellie was completely oblivious to the damage being caused. The only pain she felt was the constant burn of anger and the need for revenge. To avenge, and show Sue the respect she so rightly deserved. Her jaw muscles continually worked, tightening and then loosening, teeth ground together but none of it mattered. Finally the fists came out, and she began to pull things off the walls, as a mirror tumbled, shards of glass, fracturing like her current life. The few generic pictures that came with the apartment also hit the floor, their glass fronted and wooden frames splintering and cracking in to pieces. Mugs, plates, even her beloved computer got swept up in the storm of emotion, before she finally collapsed on to her knees, energy spent, unable to carry on, but her mind was still plotting, still bent on retribution. She didn't even register the sharp pain where the broken glass which now adorned the entire apartment dug in to her knees.
Jane watched as the EMT's began to work on Maura, before suddenly lurching towards the sink, the same one where Frost did what Jane was about to, and that was empty her guts. At least, what little was in there, and it came out in a violent, acidic eruption, the likes of which Jane had never experienced before. Frost watched on, sympathy etched on his face, as he also fought down the emotion of seeing Maura on the floor so helpless and injured. Jane's retching became nothing more than harsh dry coughing, and she finally reached out and turning on the faucet, she stuck her head underneath the cold water that flowed, partly to rinse off her face, but also to try and shake her body from the shock she was feeling. Finally, she rinsed the water around her mouth as she pulled away from the cascading water, spitting it out as she did. She pulled her hair back, hardly aware that some was damp where the water had caught it, as she tied it up in to a ponytail.
The EMT's were just finishing getting Maura stabilized as she walked back to the scene, as other officers and detectives began to pile in to the morgue. Some because they had heard the news, and were so shocked they found themselves drawn there, others, on the orders of Cavanaugh, to begin the investigation. The EMT's looked up as Jane marched over, determination on her face.
"I'm coming with you."
"You can't..." The one EMT didn't even get a chance to finish as Jane stepped up in to his personal space.
"I... Am...Coming... With...You!"
He swallowed and nodded, partly out of sheer fear, but also not wanting to waste valuable time trying to argue, when they needed to get to the ER as quickly as possible. "You sit where I tell you and do exactly as I say." the words sounded stronger than he felt, as he inwardly cringed at the anger shining back at him, a resoluteness and steely grit coming from darkening eyes.
Jane didn't reply, but simply watched as the gurney was hoisted in the ambulance and locked in to position. She then hopped in afterwards, hearing Frost shout after her that he would let Korsak, Angela and Frankie know and meet up at the hospital, and sat down on the narrow bench seat indicated to her. "Can I hold her hand?" Jane suddenly asked, the fight leaving her for a second.
The EMT then saw the fear, love and vulnerability that crossed Jane's face, and he carefully brought one of Maura's hands out from under the blanket. "Just be careful of the damage there."
Jane swallowed hard as she clasped Maura's hand as hard as she dare without causing any problems. She watched as the EMT continued to work, his movements practiced and assured. For some reason she kept thinking how lucky it was that Maura had fallen sideways on to the floor, so she hadn't choked on her tongue or from the blood that had spilt from the various cuts adorning her face, lips and mouth. Lucky, fucking hell, I can't believe I'm thinking Maura was lucky!Jane shook her head, and refocused her efforts on Maura. The EMT finally sat back a little, obviously unable to do much more until they got to the hospital. Jane wasn't even fully aware of the lurching, noisy progress they were making, she was so fixated on Maura.
"She should be okay."
His voice sounded strange to Jane's ears, and she suddenly felt the anger returning at his false platitudes. "She was hit with a fucking baseball bat. How the hell can you say she's going to be okay! You can't know what the damage is..." Jane bit down her anger, as she glared across the narrow space. "No one can know. Not yet."
"I'm sorry, but she should really be okay. We don't think there is any real damage to the brain..." He stopped speaking as Jane's glare intensified. "But you're right, until they can do complete scans and x-rays, it won't be known for sure."
Jane turned her attention back to Maura, and with her free hand, she gently pushed some of the matted hair away from her ear. Leaning in, Jane whispered. "I love you, don't you dare give up, you hear me Maura. I don't know if I could recover if I lost you as well." Jane wasn't even aware she was crying until a tear rolled down, and fell, splashing against the skin on her hand. "Besides, who'll protect me from Ma. I love you Maura Isles, so very much."
Jane sat back as she felt the ambulance pull to stop, and heard the drivers door swinging open. Within seconds, she watched as they unfastened the gurney from it's clamps, and were wheeling Maura in to the ER, heading to a trauma room, as she tried to keep up. She followed, but was suddenly held back by a small, but strong arm that shot out in front of her waist.
"I'm sorry, but you can't go in there."
The voice was soft and understanding, and Jane looked, her eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to take it all in. The nurse who had stopped Jane frowned, concern showing.
"Come on, I'll take you through to where you can wait." Jane was then calmly, but very strongly pulled along another corridor that intersected where they had been standing, and within a minute, she was being shown in to the large main ER waiting room. "You need to book your friend in."
Jane looked up towards the reception area. "Yes, of course." She then stumbled towards the counter, and was stopped once again by the nurse who had accompanied her.
"Sit down, before you fall down. I'll get the relevant paperwork. I'm Judy by the way." A hand came out, and Jane shook it.
"Jane." Was all she could say, her eyes beginning to glaze over slightly and her body began to shake uncontrollably as she sank down in to a chair, watching Judy walk away.
Coming back, Judy dropped the papers she had on the floor next to her, as she reached out to touch Jane's arm. Not getting any response, she turned around to reception and asked they get a gurney or wheelchair. She could tell Jane was in acute stress, a reaction undoubtedly caused by the sight of Maura and her injuries. It wasn't long before they had Jane in a cubicle of her own, a doctor making sure she wasn't in any immediate danger, despite not responding to stimuli and showing some signs of disorientation.
Frost came in to the ER with Korsak mere steps behind him. They didn't see Jane, and immediately headed to the reception desk, showing their badges. They both then sat down, expressions of shock on both faces as they heard that Maura was being treated, but that Jane had also effectively collapsed. They also looked down at the paperwork that still needed to be filled in, both a little unsure of what use they could be.
"Someone has to tell Angela because we didn't get chance before we left." Korsak suddenly said, "I'll do it."
Frost sighed and shot a look of thanks. "Listen I've got an idea. Didn't Maura say Jane had seen the department shrink?"
Korsak looked at him carefully. "Yeah, why, what you thinking?"
"You think it might help Jane if we give him a call, see if there is anything he can do to help?" Frost fiddled with his phone, just to keep his hands busy. "Might not come to anything, but they said what's happened to Jane is psychological."
"Nah, they said she should be okay in a bit, and they had someone looking after her." Korsak replied, "Don't want to make it worse for her, you know. Might need Cavanaugh for some of the information from either of their files though to fill this damned paperwork in. Dammit, Jane or Maura would be filling these in without a problem, and now they are both..." Korsak stopped, and took a deep breath. "Times like this, you realize just how much their lives are tied to each other. I don't think either of them could cope without the other now."
Before Frost could say anymore, Angela, Frankie and Tommy all barrelled in to the waiting room. Angela spotted them sitting down and ran across to where they were.
"Maura, they said she was badly beaten. How is she?" Angela then looked around. "Where's Janie?"
"Jane's had to be taken in for a little bit. She's suffering with some form of shock." Korsak said, and on seeing Angela about to launch herself towards the reception, knowing she would be demanding to see Jane, he stood up and quickly put a hand out on to Angela's shoulder, stopping her. "She's going to be okay, but she needs to be treated before we can see her." He said softly.
Frankie and Tommy both began to pace, each looking worried and stressed. "I heard over the radio what happened. Got hold of Ma and Tommy and we came right over." Frankie began to say, needing to break the silence that had fallen over them. "They said Maura was beaten up real good. It's all anyone is talking about."
Frost swallowed hard, as he tried not to think about what he had witnessed. "Yeah, it wasn't good to see. They roughed her up..." he stopped, fighting back his own tears.
"I'll fucking kill them." Tommy's threat came out as a low growl, as he twisted his hands together. "Whoever did this, I will fucking kill them, with my bare hands."
"Thomas Antonio Rizzoli you will do no such thing!" Angela said, her voice raised, "Maura wouldn't want you to do something like that."
Tommy shot a look at his mother, before he sat down a little way from everyone else, his face dark with anger. Frankie looked at him, and then his Mother, and decided to move towards Tommy, sitting alongside him.
"Ma's right you know, Maura wouldn't want us to do anything." Frankie said quietly, chancing a sideways glance at his brother, who merely grunted.
Suddenly a doctor appeared, and talking to the reception, made his way over to the group. "Family of Jane Rizzoli?" He asked, his voice low.
"That's us." Angela shot up out of her seat. "How is she? Can I see her? What's wrong?"
The questions were rapidly asked, and he quickly put a hand up, with a slight reassuring smile. "She's fine. She's come around again and I'm satisfied she's going to be okay. She had a shock, and in effect her body itself shut down mentally for a little while. I understand Jane lost someone close to her recently, Sue?"
"Yeah," Korsak was the one to answer. "Shook her up pretty hard."
"I didn't know Sue, but I believe she was a nurse in this very ER. I only came here last week, but I've heard of Sue, and the story behind what happened. To have this occur so soon afterwards was just a shock to Jane's system. I've said she can discharged as soon as the paperwork can be completed and I'll make sure she is sent back out to you. I just advise you, don't try and bombard her with too many questions and as much as possible to keep her calm."
"What about the Doc?" Korsak suddenly asked, "Doctor Maura Isles." he amended quickly when he saw the look of confusion.
"I'm sorry, I've not been privy to her treatment. I'll see if I can find someone who might be better able to give you an update." He looked at his watch. "If you'll excuse me."
"Thank you." Angela clasped his arm with her hand, a look of pure relief on her face knowing Jane was okay, followed by anguish at the thought that Maura was still being attended to.
Jane walked out in to the waiting room, still feeling the effects of what she could only describe as yet another mini-breakdown. Her memory of the events were patchy at best, but she had been reassured that some amnesia wasn't uncommon, and she wasn't missing any vital pieces of memory, only parts of what had happened once she had arrived at the hospital once Maura had been brought in. Seeing her family, Frost, Korsak and an ever increasing presence of various police officials, she took a deep breath and began to walk over.
Angela sprung up out of her chair, and was flinging herself in to Jane's arms as quickly as she could, Jane catching her, so they didn't topple over, a faint blush rising as some people began to look. "Geez Ma, any chance you can bring it down a notch?" Jane asked quickly, earning her a glare.
"I was worried about you!" Angela replied sternly, although she did back out of Jane's arms, but not without brushing some imaginary lint off Jane's sleeve first. "If a mother can't be worried about a daughter, I don't know who can."
Jane sighed, allowing her mother to rant on a little, as her eyes swept around, taking in the serious faces of everyone there. She then realized her mother was no longer talking, but pulling Jane towards the seats. "That doctor that saw you, he said he'd try and send someone out with a report on Maura." the words from her mother finally filtered in to Jane's brain as she sat down, a look of understanding and sympathy from Frost and Korsak respectively. She tried not to look at them too much, finding it too emotional.
"Anyone called Constance?" Jane suddenly asked, looking around.
"I called her." Angela said, "As soon as I heard. She's in New Mexico at some art gallery, but was going to fly back as soon as she could."
Jane rapidly blinked, her surprise obvious. "What?" Angela queried, recognizing the surprise from Jane. "We talk. On the phone. We've become good friends." Angela supplied, as if everyone was aware of that.
Jane looked across at Frankie and Tommy, with a slight movement of her hands and tilt of the head, trying to silently convey 'Really? Did you know?', who both shrugged, both equally surprised by the news that their mother and Constance Isles had become friends.
Jane watched as everyone else left the room, including Angela, who had arranged with Korsak to meet Constance once she flew in. Small murmurs of support and messages to be given were heard, as well as the occasional light hand on her arm. Jane took a deep breath as the last person filed out, closing the door behind them quietly.
"God Maura, I thought Ma was never going to leave." Jane tried not to look at the swollen bruised face that somehow belonged to Maura as she settled down on the chair next to the bed. The colors of the bruising where the eyes were swollen was the most livid purple Jane thought she had ever seen, but she was determined to look, to let Maura know she was there, even if Maura couldn't see.
Jane carefully put her hand out, resting it on Maura's mindful of the battered hand, where it had been used in defense, to shield from the blows. Jane had been told that they were amazed that no bones had been broken in the one hand at least. They could only surmise her left hand had been covering it, thereby taking the brunt of the damage, and it was also the left arm that had a compound fracture that they had stabilised in theatre.
Because of the damage to Maura's hands, the I.V's had been moved higher up in the crook of the arm, so at least Jane didn't have to worry about disturbing those as her hand then moved, so it would fit underneath Maura's, palm to palm, before she gently laced their fingers together.
"You didn't tell me Ma and your mother had become so tight," Jane said, shock still registering in her voice at the news. "I'm here because when the nurses threatened to kick me out, Ma was on the phone to your mother, and next thing I know, there's some jackass from the board, coming down with profuse apologies and that I was to be allowed to stay, as long as I didn't interfere with any treatments. Like I'd do that." Jane chuckled a little, trying to distract herself so she wouldn't cry. "Ma went off on at him, saying how dare he imply I would interfere. Korsak had to step in to get her to quiet down. I'm still not sure if I'm horrified by the fact that our mothers worked in cahoots, scared by what they could come up with next, or actually a little proud of them. Perhaps its a little of everything. Oh and your mother is flying in, and they will bring her here as soon as she lands."
Jane did finally wipe her eyes as tears threatened. "They say there is some swelling on the brain, but nothing too much, and they are pleased it isn't worse. Said it was low to moderate, on the scale they use, whatever the hell that is but didn't expect it to cause any problems. They say they are keeping you under for at least a day anyway, to let your body heal. You've got some broken ribs, but amazingly no internal bleeding or damage. They seem to think you've got some bruising on your kidneys and liver, but they assured us it was all going to repair just fine. It's gonna hurt like a bitch, but you'll be okay."
Jane let out a long breath. "Fucking hell Maura, I'm so sorry. I know you'd be telling me it isn't my fault, but I can't help but feel responsible, ya know. The good news is, they lifted prints, and we know without a doubt now this is Ellie, and a BOLO has been issued. Cavanaugh has also been talking to the San Diego Police and Trevor Rollins is being interviewed. Apparently they kicked up shit to begin with, but when Cavanaugh showed them the stuff we'd got, and that Ellie had attacked you, they began to change their tune. Things are finally moving in the right direction. We're going to get the bitch." Jane faltered, as she listened to the hiss of the oxygen supply that was being delivered via a face mask, intermingled with the steady beep of the machines monitoring Maura.
"I know they don't plan to wake you up 'til tomorrow at the earliest, but I'm still not going anywhere. I can't do anything on the case, and I need to be sure Ellie isn't going to try and come after you again. We've got an officer on the door, but I need to be here Maur... I need to feel like I'm helping. I wasn't there for you last time, I'm not going to make the same mistake. I will keep saying it, I love you."
Jane finally began to feel tiredness creeping up on her, but still she held Maura's hand, occasionally wiping errant tears from her cheeks, watching over the one person she knew she couldn't ever survive losing.