A/N: I can't begin to apologize enough for how long I took to update this. While I have been writing more, I've been directing my efforts into other Anna/Bates projects. I swear my goal is to finish this before the new series starts. I hope you all enjoy this and are still sticking with it. Reviews are greatly appreciated.

Chapter 25

Big Changes

Anna stood on a small stool as she put up some decorations in her classroom to get ready for the upcoming year. This year's classroom theme would be outer space and she had planned her whole curriculum around it. Anna prided herself on having one of the most colorful and engaging classrooms, even teachers from other grades complimented her on it. She had just finished pinning a 3D-model of Saturn to the ceiling when Gwen walked into the classroom. "Anna, I didn't expect you to be here on a weekend."

Anna secured the little hook attached to a fishing line as the spherical orb dangled from the ceiling. She grabbed the next planet in her box from the craft store. "I wasn't planning on it but I lost a week while I was in Ireland with John," she explained.

"Oh right. Mary mentioned something about your impromptu birthday trip at the faculty meeting. Did you have fun?" Gwen asked with genuine interest.

"I did," Anna replied with a smile she could barely contain.

"That's great! What was your favorite part?" Gwen inquired as she held up one of the planets from the box to hand off to Anna. But she didn't have to wait long for an answer. As soon as Anna went to retrieve the decorative sphere from her friend the light cast off in a million different directions and colors from the diamonds situated on Anna's hand. Gwen quickly grabbed Anna's hand. "Shut up! He proposed?"

Anna nodded her head eagerly with a giddy smile.

"Oh my goodness! When? How?" Gwen fired off question after question.

"Honestly, I don't know that he even was planning on doing it. It just sort of happened. The ring was his mother's and I'm surprised it even fit me so well," Anna said, still marveling at the small ring on her hand as she descended from the stool.

"It must be meant to be. I'll admit it feels like you both are moving a little fast, but I guess when you know, you know," Gwen surmised.

Sensing her friend's concern from the way things went with her previous engagement Anna quickly reassured her friend, "He's not like Mark at all. I don't think I even came close to feeling about Mark the way I do about John."

"I know and I think anyone with eyes could see that. I just wish I got to see more of you. I feel like you've been hiding away these past few months," Gwen said sadly.

"I know I didn't handle things well after Ethan," Anna said admittedly.

"Anna, no one would blame you for that. Losing someone you were so close with and under such circumstances-well, I hope you know that no one holds it against you. I'm just glad to see you are finding your happiness again," Gwen said optimistically.

"Thank you Gwen, you have no idea how much that means to me," Anna said as she hugged her best friend.

"Can I atleast convince the two of you to come out so we can throw a celebratory dinner?" Gwen asked.

"Only on one condition," Anna said with a mischievous grin.

"What's that?" Gwen asked.

"Well i know we haven't set a date yet, but when we do will you agree to be my maid of honor?" Anna asked.

"Are you kidding me?" Gwen said as she pulled away. "Of course I will. I'd be honored."

Both girls continued to talk about Ireland and the pending nuptials for the rest of the afternoon as Gwen helped Anna finish up her work.

John was already sitting at a table of a local, favorite restaurant of theirs when he saw Robert walk in. John waved Robert over and soon the two were standing and embracing in a hug. "Has it only been two weeks? It feels like much longer," Robert commented.

"Time flies when you're having fun," John noted while looking over the moon.

The waitress came and brought their drinks before taking their orders. When she left Robert leaned forward and asked, "Alright, out with it. What are you on now?"

"What?" John asked as he popped a chip in his mouth.

"I told you I couldn't get you back on with the department if you slipped up again," Robert warned.

"I haven't," John quickly defended himself.

"Really? And what's all this silly business then?" Robert fired back.

"I'm in love," John answered. Robert gave him a sharp look and John raised his hands in surrender. "Honestly I am telling the truth. I asked Anna to marry me and she agreed," he reported back.

"You're actually serious about this?" Robert asked.

"I am," John answered quickly.

"Well congratulations, old chap!" Robert said as he patted John on the shoulder. "I take it this means everything went well in Ireland then? Will there be a move in the future?" Robert asked as he sipped on his drink.

"No. I think Anna and I want a fresh start. I have too many memories of my childhood in Ireland, not all of them good. She lived in her place with Ethan before he passed; I think a new place would do us good. So I was wondering…"

"You want to know if I will sign the house back over to you to sell," Robert filled in.

John nodded silently.

"It's your house, I was only holding on to it to keep it away from Vera. You do what you want with it," Robert said.

The waitress came around and brought them their food. "I hope this doesn't mean you have plans to leave Downton though," Robert said.

"I guess that would all depend on if I have a job here still or if I can find one nearby," John said. "I'd hate to ask Anna to leave her job as a teacher when I know how much she loves her class and her coworkers. But if the board won't reinstate me then I guess I'll have to find work elsewhere," he said regretfully.

"What will you do if you can't work for the department?"

"I don't know," John said as he rubbed his chin. "I suppose something in construction, I always had an interest in wood work. It's certainly safer. I'm sure Anna would be grateful for that," John mused.

"Yes, but you've never been one to be worried about what's safe," Robert pointed out.

"I know, but I have to find a way to provide for her. I can't just sit around doing nothing," John concluded. He began to tear into his steak and potatoes.

"Look, I don't want to get your hopes up, but they offered Jimmy a transfer with another department and it looks like Barrow might be following him wherever he sets up shop. If Thomas leaves and doesn't show up to contest any reevaluations the judge or board makes, you could easily be back to working for me by the end of the month," Robert explained.

"I wish I could say I had high hopes, but you and I both know the luck of the draw has not always been in my favor," John said.

Robert dug into his burger and swallowed a mouthful before speaking again. "True. But we have all the reason to be optimistic now don't we? I mean you didn't think love was in the cards after Vera, and look at you now."

"I guess you have a point there," John said happily.

"So. When can we expect this wedding to take place?"

"Hopefully after I've been able to gain Anna's parents' blessing," John said sarcastically.

Anna came home to find the radio on and the smell of delicious food wafting in the air. "John?" she called out.

"I'm in the kitchen!" he called back.

"What on earth is going on?" she asked. Anna turned the corner to find John dancing around the kitchen as he pulled a meatloaf out of the oven.

"Oh good, you made it just in time," he said with a smile. "I figured you wouldn't be too much longer." He set the food down on the counter to let it cool and began rounding up some silverware and glasses.

"When did you have time to do all this?" Anna asked in surprise as she observed her spotless living room.

"You'll find there are a lot of things I can do when I'm not working," he joked. "I wanted to do something nice for you since I figured you would be tired after decorating your classroom and getting everything prepped for the new school year."

Anna kicked off her shoes and crossed the kitchen to wrap her arms around his middle, "Well that was very thoughtful of you. I suppose I'll have to reward you for that later." She placed a kiss on his neck and then turned him to face her so she could kiss him properly.

"You don't have to reward me, I wanted to do this for you. I thought we could have an early dinner and then we could go to the meeting together," John added as he began to slice up the meatloaf and set a piece on each plate.

"John?" Anna asked as she took a drink from her glass.

"Hmmm," he replied with a grunt as he licked his fingertip. "Oh god, this turned out better than I thought. Care to try some?" he asked as he held out the tip of the fork for her to try a bite.

"John," she said more seriously.

"What, love?" he asked with a smile. But he saw the expression on her face and fell silent.

"I don't think I should go to the meetings anymore. You had a point before and I think I'm ready to move forward," she said not quite sounding sure of herself.

"Really?" he asked.

Anna took a deep breath and reached out to hold his hand, "Really."

"If you change your mind or want to come back, I won't hold it against you," John said as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I know."

"Do you?" he asked as his eyes sought hers out. "I'd hate for you to think I'd turn into your parents and judge you for continuing to attend. I understand how that place makes you feel connected to Ethan," John expressed.

"I know you do. And I can't express how much that means to me. But I think I need to seek out other means of finding a connection with him. Things that I can associate happier memories of him. He was more than just those meetings," she said.

John brought her into his big, strong arms as he kissed her face and lips. They both felt the tension of the situation melt away at the contact with one another. "We should probably eat before the food gets cold," John suggested as he served up a plate of food for each of them.

They spent the next hour recounting their day and letting the other know that they had slowly begun announcing their engagement to others. John revealed the possibility of him returning full time to work with the department which worried Anna, but she knew it made him happy. Quite frankly she was more fearful of the possibility of John returning to old habits if he couldn't get a place back with the department. She knew that fighting fires was his way of honoring William and if John was prevented from doing his work he might be tempted to drown his sorrows in a bottle.

Anna tried her best to shake the thought from her head as she wished him well when he left to attend the meeting. He had even gone so far as to ask, "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

Anna politely declined and wished him well, saying that she had plans of her own. She had finally agreed to attend a girls night out with Ethel, Gwen, and Mary.

It felt odd coming in the doors of the church without Anna at his side; John felt much like a child without his security blanket. He understood that this was all part of the process and that he couldn't use her as a crutch. This was something he had to do on his own. Instead as everyone continued to address Anna's absence he tried to focus on the positive. Her being gone meant she was finally coming to terms and making peace with her brother's absence. She was learning to live again and be happy. And somehow he had been lucky enough to find her and be part of that happy future. He couldn't have asked for anything more than that. Later that night, John didn't find it hard to report to Mrs. Hughes that Anna would most likely not be returning to the meetings and he was sure that when the old broad smiled she knew exactly why.

"I can't believe you're engaged!" Ethel nearly screamed as she slammed down a shot glass. "I mean here you were months ago claiming you weren't even looking for love and then you have this dishy fireman chasing after you and there was that mystery guy from the meetings that you seemed to have a thing for. I've been actively looking for someone and I still have no one," she moaned.

If only they knew the guy from the meetings and the dishy fireman were one in the same, but Anna wouldn't betray John's trust on that. Although, she was certain given the fact that Mary's father worked with John; that she had some inkling as to who John Bates really was. After all, it was Mary who was kind enough to change the topic when she asked, "When do you think you'll be getting married? It won't interfere with the new school year will it?"

"I don't see why it would. I'm not even sure we'll do anything big considering my family hasn't taken much interest in John," Anna replied.

"Well whether they are on your side or not, you have to go all out Anna. This is the most important day of your life," Ethel yammered on.

"I don't know. It just somehow feels wrong going through with something like this without their blessing," Anna said woefully. "If Ethan had been here, he would have threatened to knock their heads together until they agreed to go," she added. For the first time in months she hadn't felt like crying at the mention of his name.

"Well if they won't be there for you, you can count on us girls," Gwen added happily.

"Here, here," Mary said as she raised her glass. They all followed suit and soon Mary was taking the lead of the conversation, "Do you think you'll be doing a big wedding Anna?"

Anna sipped on her drink and her brow furrowed with concern, "I don't know. John and I haven't had much chance to talk about it. Right now I think we are more focused with what we want to do with our respective homes. I suppose once that's settled we can look into how much we would want to spend on a wedding."

"Well at the very least you'll have to let us throw you an engagement party," Mary insisted.

"And a hen party," Ethel said a little louder than was necessary. The alcohol must have been taking effect quicker than she realized. "Anna, does John have any single firefighter friends?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Anna admitted. "I'm afraid the grooms side of things will be on the sparse side as John doesn't have many friends. I suppose he would have Robert, Tom, and Alfred stand in for him."

"Tell me more about this Alfred fellow," Ethel said when she immediately recognized who Robert and Tom were.

"I think he's a little young for you, Ethel," Anna said.

"Good, that's how I like them," Ethel said flirtatiously before knocking back the last of her shot.

"Good lord, someone rein her in or cut her off," Mary said with a roll of her eyes.

Their table broke into a fit of giggles as they each took turns throwing out suggestions for Anna's upcoming nuptials. For the first time, in a long time, Anna felt the freedom to let loose a little. Lately it felt as if all of her burdens had been lifting off her shoulders one by one and it had all started with John. She let herself get caught up, and actually enjoy her time with the girls with the knowledge that John was waiting for her when she got home, and she'd never been happier.

Anna walked back into the house as quietly as she could but was stumbling a bit as she tried to remove her shoes. Hearing the sounds coming from the entryway, John awoke from the brief sleep he had caught while sitting up on the couch waiting for her. John stopped her before she reached the bedroom and rubbed the sleep from his eyes and let himself adjust to the light. "Christ. Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said, but her swaying body told a different story. "I just had a little to drink," she added.

"Please tell me you didn't drive like that," John said as he reached out to steady her.

"No. Mary and Gwen gave me a ride back home," she answered.

"You should have called me. I would have come to pick you up," he said worriedly.

"I...I didn't want to bother you," she said honestly.

"It wouldn't have bothered me," he replied sincerely.

"I know it wouldn't, but…"she couldn't even look him in the eye as she said it.

"But what? You can tell me anything."

"We went out for drinks to celebrate and I didn't want to make you have to come down somewhere where there was all that temptation. And I was embarrassed," she said.

"Embarassed? Whatever for?" he asked as his hand settled on her hip.

"Because I haven't had a drink in sometime and it just sort of snuck up on me how quickly I started feeling tipsy. I shouldn't be coming home like that when I'm living with a recovering alcoholic," she said as she wiped at the tear that pooled in the corner of her eye.

John was sure her tears were more due to the alcohol than her actual emotions. His lips formed into a hard line and his brow scrunched in concern as he looked down at her with tender eyes. "Anna, I can control my urges. And this is going to be a part of my life from now on, whether I'm with you or on my own in public. It's up to me to make the right choice and unfortunately avoidance isn't always a solution. I don't want you feeling that you can't drink a little or have a little fun because I can't anymore. And I certainly don't want you thinking you can't call on me," John said as he stroked her cheek and moved a loose hair from her eye line. "I'm glad you were able to let loose with your girlfriends. I'll be honest, I half expected to return home and find you here before me. I wasn't sure you'd go through with it," he added with a smile.

Anna laughed with him but quickly squinted her eyes and rubbed at her temple. "Oh gosh, I'm going to regret this tomorrow. I forgot what a light weight I am."

"I've been there," he said with a chuckle. "Well, not the light weight part, but I remember those words of regret." He led her back to the bedroom and helped her out of her clothes and into her pajamas before tucking her into bed. "We need to get you some water and aspirin," John said as he headed to the bathroom to grab the aspirin and fill a small glass resting by the sink. "You drink all of that and one more glass and hopefully you won't have too bad of a hangover in the morning," he said as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

"Hold on," she said with raised hands as if to stop him. "This is a lot of information to process. Just give me the pills," she said.

John mockingly took his time handing her the aspirin. Anna grinned happily in her drunken state as she followed his advice. He had to laugh to himself as he considered Anna's worries earlier, if anything seeing her like this was a reminder to him of days that he woke up unable to remember what he had done the night before or how he ended up that way.

"These sheets smell good and they are so soft, " Anna remarked. "I wonder how they get them so soft?" she pondered aloud to no one in particular.

John laughed heartily. He had never seen Anna like this before and her openness was off the charts. "Well it's probably because I washed them," he commented.

"You made dinner and you did laundry?" she asked in surprise.

John nodded his head in agreement.

"You are so just the sweetest," she said.

John chuckled at the mix up.

"Wait that's not what I meant," she insisted as she lightly smacked his arm. "Uh, I can't word right now."

John tried his hardest to restrain his laughter this time. He stayed up making idle chit chat with her as she recounted the events from that evening. She continued to make meaningless observations and laugh at things that didn't really appear funny to him. But it didn't wipe the grin from his face. She amused him to no end and he was absolutely taken with her laughter and the way she smiled in frustration as she tried to clarify her statements. She eventually fell asleep on his shoulder, her hot breath blew against his chest as she snored gently, but John wouldn't have it any other way.

Anna awoke the next morning to find John preparing breakfast. The smell of fresh food was wafting in the air and she wrapped her arms around his middle as she leaned her head against his back.

"Good morning," he greeted her warmly as his free hand came to rest over hers.

"Morning."

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better than I would have if you hadn't intervened. Hopefully I wasn't too much of a handful last night," she said.

"No. Nothing compared to how I used to be," he said with a chuckle. "You were rather entertaining," he added.

"Oh god. What did I say?" she asked.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," he teased. John flipped the bacon over in the skillet and removed the pieces that had already cooked all the way through.

"That smells divine," she mumbled.

"Oh?"

"You know, I may never let you go back to work if you keep up with the cooking and the cleaning like you have been," she commented. Anna stole a piece of bacon from the plate on the side of the stove top.

"Well, don't get used to it. Robert, says there's a chance I could be reinstated before the end of the month," he replied.

Anna stopped chewing at this revelation and found it difficult to swallow the piece she had been munching on. She nearly choked on it and had to help herself to a swig of John's glass of orange juice. "Sorry, I just didn't expect that."

John couldn't understand this change in mood when she had seemed open to the idea the night before. Unless of course she couldn't remember that conversation after her night of drinking. John turned the burners off and began scooping the eggs onto a plate, "Well that was always the plan...I mean for me to go back to working as a firefighter that is."

"Yeah...I mean yes of course...I guess I just got so used to you not doing it that it was a bit of a shock," Anna clarified as she cleared her throat.

"You're ok with this then?"

"Well, I mean I am ok with it as I can be. I just...never mind," she said with a shrug. She helped him set the plates on the table and grabbed some silverware for the both of them.

John wasn't sure whether or not to press her further. This news had clearly upset her and not been well received. He didn't think it wise to let the issue fester. John sat across from her and observed how she made minimal eye contact with him. Everything about her features seemed to tense. "Anna, did I say or do something to upset you?"

"No."

"Then what changed?"

"I just...it was different before. I always knew you were a firefighter and I knew the situation from the get go. But I guess a part of me was in denial that you would be going back to that way of life. That you would be constantly putting yourself in danger. I can't lose another person John. It would destroy me," she said with a trembling lip. Anna let the fork drop against the plate with a clang and she excused herself from the table before heading back into the bedroom.

He let her have a moment to herself and took a second to process his thoughts before going in after her. When he walked into their bedroom he saw her try to hide her tears from him. "I didn't mean to upset you," he said from the doorway in a soft voice. "I don't have to take the position back if you don't want me to," he offered.

"No. I couldn't ask you to do that. This is what you love. You were committed to it before we even met," she said.

"But I love you more," he insisted.

"It wouldn't be right," she said as she held out her arms for him. John crossed the room and met her embrace with his big, strong arms. "Just promise me if this goes through you'll be careful," she whispered.

"Always," he whispered back as he kissed her neck. "Now come on. Let's not let this ruin our morning. You only have a few days left of summer vacation before you have to head back to work. We should celebrate," John said.

A few weeks later…

Anna sat on the couch reviewing her curriculum once more for any last minute additions or changes. Tomorrow would be the first day of school; a prospect that always gave her a case of nerves, except that right now she was nervous about something else. She had stared at the pages of her curriculum over and over but still had not managed to absorb any of the material that resided on the pages. John had gone in for his board review this morning and while he had been feeling optimistic she knew he wouldn't allow himself to be happy until he had confirmation that he would be reinstated with the department and allowed to return to actually fighting fires. It seemed that every time her phone went off or a car drove by she was nearly driven to madness as her eyes sought John out. Each time she looked up at the clock it seemed that time was only moving slower. Finally, there was the all too familiar sound of John's truck pulling up into the driveway. She perked up and turned her attentions towards the door as she heard the keys jingle in the lock.

John walked in looking exhausted as he removed his suit jacket and loosed his tie. He ran a hand through his dark locks as he made his way towards Anna. His face was unreadable as John took a seat beside her and patted her leg lightly. He let out a heavy sigh and observed her quietly for a moment before bringing her hand to his lips and placing a gentle kiss there.

"Well?" she asked. "What did they decide?"

"I'm returning to my old post," he said.

"That's great!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around him. Anna crawled into his lip and smoothed his hair and finished undoing his tie. She kissed him swiftly and passionately before pausing to look at him directly, "You bloody fool. Why aren't you happy?"

"I wasn't sure if you would be happy about it," he said. John sat there a little longer as he ran his fingers up and down her leg in a hypnotic fashion, "I meant what I said. I'd give it up for you."

"I believe you would," she replied back, "but I don't want you to. It's what you are good at. It's what you were born to do."

"It will be a big change for you-for us," he corrected himself. "I wont be able to come home everyday like I normally do, but this is something I have to do. You understand that don't you?"

"I do," she said with a nod of the head. "I'm so proud of you. John you wouldn't be able to do this if you hadn't made all the changes in your life that were necessary."

"I'll still have to attend the meetings and see my therapist. It's still part of the conditions, but I don't mind it," John reported back to her. "I couldn't have done any of it without you," he praised. "I love you more than you'll ever know for saving me, Anna."

"We saved each other," Anna said as she snuggled against his chest. If big changes were on the horizon she wanted to cherish the moments that she was able to spend with John like this for as long as she could.