A/N: Here, finally, is another chapter! Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to review, I love reading your messages and comments :o)

Buffy took a deep breath of the cool evening air, letting her head drop back. 'Aren't the stars beautiful tonight?' she asked, smiling.

'Stunning,' Giles smiled. 'I'm so thrilled for you both, Buffy.'

'You wanna go do something to celebrate?' Xander asked. 'The night is young, the Bronze is close, my wallet is fat…'

'Or we could do something, y'know, cosier,' Willow suggested. 'Maybe a movie night and a pizza or three.'

'Actually, I think I need to spend some time with Riley,' Buffy said, looking up at him. He looked surprised, but pleased. She swallowed down the guilt at his happiness; she had the feeling he wouldn't much like what she had to say.

'I get it,' Xander said with an exaggerated wink. 'You two have some quality time to catch up on, huh?'

'Xander, really,' Anya said, frowning. 'We all know they're going to indulge in a night of celebratory sex, there's no need to draw attention to it.'

Giles, flushing from the neck up, said, 'I'll pick you up tomorrow, Buffy, around eleven? That should give us time to get here for when your mother is discharged.'

'Great,' Buffy said, unable to look at Riley. 'Thanks, Giles, you've been so great about all this.'

Giles just put his arms around her, holding her in a tight hug. 'Have a lovely evening,' he said, stepping back with a smile.

'Night,' Buffy called to her friends, watching them pile into Giles' and Xander's cars.

'So then,' Riley said, slipping his arms around her waist from behind, 'what did you have in mind, now that we're alone?'

For a moment Buffy almost caved in, almost leaned into his embrace, almost put aside the stomach-churning decision she'd made during a long, sleepless night. But then the Slayer side of her asserted itself, called her a chicken and prodded her to step out of his arms.

With a sigh, Buffy moved away and turned to face him. 'Actually, I think we need to talk about a few things,' she said.

'Oh?' Riley said, shifting his feet. 'This looks serious.'

'We shouldn't talk about it here,' Buffy said. 'Can we go back to your place?'

'Sure,' Riley nodded, heading towards his car. He'd only gone a few steps before he stopped, holding her arm. 'Wait, Buffy – I'm right, aren't I? This is bad.'

Buffy sighed, looking away from his intense gaze. 'It's not good,' she finally said. 'I'm sorry, Riley.'

'Sorry?' Riley repeated. 'Sorry for what?'

Buffy glanced around the car park, empty in the moonlight. 'I've been doing a lot of thinking lately,' she began awkwardly, 'about my life and my priorities. Wow, this is hard to say…' She took a deep breath and ploughed on. 'So, I was talking to Spike, and he said that - '

'Spike!' Riley exploded. 'Why does everything in your life keep coming back to Spike?' Then he stopped, paling. 'Wait, what did he say to you?'

'He just told me a few things I didn't know,' Buffy said, remembering their talk about Slayers and death and holding onto life with both hands.

Riley's reaction wasn't at all what she'd expected. 'Buffy,' he said urgently, grasping her upper arms with both hands. 'He doesn't know what he's talking about, I swear. I only did it once, and I was going to tell you, I just wanted to wait until we knew your mom would be okay and - '

'Whoa, hold it right there,' Buffy said, stepping out of his grasp, ice running through her stomach. 'Only did what once?'

Riley closed his eyes, clenching his jaw, and when he opened them again Buffy was shocked to see a moist gleam in their depths. 'I did something really dumb,' he said, voice low and thick with emotion.

'Like what?' she asked through gritted teeth.

'I don't think there's a way to explain it that you'd understand.'

'Try,' she ground out, more than a hint of Slayer in the tone.

'I wanted to understand what it's like for you,' he began, looking earnestly into her eyes. 'When Dracula bit you, and then when Spike did it - '

'Oh my God!' Buffy interrupted in frustration. 'Are we still not past that yet? I told you what happened, Riley - '

'I know,' he interjected. 'And I understand, that it wasn't something you wanted – but it still had an effect on you, Buffy. This world you walk in, it's like you're always caught between the light and the dark, and I can't begin to understand how that feels. I just wanted to get it, so I can really be there for you.'

'Okay,' Buffy said, fighting for calm, ' so what did you do?'

'I let a vampire bite me,' Riley said quietly.

'What?' Buffy erupted. 'How could you be so - '

'There's more,' he said, interrupting again. 'I paid her to do it, and then I staked her.'

'Well, that's just great!' Buffy said venomously, fighting back tears of anger and hurt. 'So you went to a vampire whore, and then you murdered her.' She shook her head, a bitter laugh escaping her throat. 'It's like I don't even know you at all! I mean, did I ever, Riley? Or is the clean-cut Iowa boy all just an act?'

'You've seen everything there is of me,' Riley said, angry now. 'I've never held back anything from you, Buffy, not until now. But you – it's like I can't even get close to you, I just keep coming up against the Slayer!'

'Don't you dare throw that at me!' Buffy exclaimed. 'The Slayer is who I am, you know that. You want me, you gotta take it all.'

'That's all I've ever wanted to do,' Riley said, hurt and sadness creeping into his voice. 'I love you, Buffy, Slayer and all. But all you ever do is shut me out.'

'So what you're saying is that this is my fault?' Buffy asked, incredulous.

'No!' Riley shouted, running his hands through his hair. 'No, I'm not…'

'What more do you want from me, Riley?'

'I don't know, Buffy,' Riley said, shaking his head. 'You say you love me, but I don't feel it. I just don't feel it.'

For a moment they stood looking at each other. Buffy trembled, a sick feeling creeping through her belly. Partly it was caused by his betrayal, their confrontation; but partly it was because she knew he was right. She'd never really loved him, not like he'd loved her, and she hadn't even realised it.

'So what now?' Riley asked eventually.

'I don't know,' Buffy said, refusing to let any tears fall. 'Right now, you're going to take me to this…vampire whorehouse, and I'm going to shut it down permanently. After that… I need some time to think. But I do know one thing - we're not coming back from this.'

Riley nodded defeatedly. He looked up at her, and the sincerity in his eyes almost broke her heart all over again. 'I really am sorry, Buffy.'

'Just drive,' she replied, sweeping past him to the car.