CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

HEECHUL

Heechul was dating Siwon. Heechul like Siwon and they always hung out. But what was the dilemma?

Let's see, Heechul still likes Hangeng but his love for him diminishes the fact that he was being bullied. He's attracted to the bad boy type so when ever he see's Hangeng, his heart would race profoundly like it did in the beginning. It still made no sense to him and he kind of felt a little depressed that everything ended. Hangeng never talked to him or bothered him anymore and Siwon seemed pretty glad about that.

He just wanted to relive the moment when Hangeng kissed him on the rooftop but it hurt when he left. His heart was mush and tangled in a mess of cords and strings. Where, to untangle it you hade to pull one piece at a time out and over and under the loops and through the holes to finally get on out. Could he do that to his heart?

Could he untangle the mess it was in and finally fix things? Could he and Hangeng become friends?

Siwon was gone for the day so Heechul ate alone. Sungmin offered for him to eat with everyone else but he wasn't feeling up to it. He felt like just sitting in the grass outside in the somewhat warm weather and think while eating some string cheese.

He liked peeling it apart but also found it a pain when they would never come off perfect or one side would be thicker than the other. String cheese was just string cheese.

"Aish~! Why won't you work with me!" Heechul snapped at the floppy cheese and just threw the rest in his mouth. With a sigh from another defeat of his string cheese, he laid back under the tree and closed his eyes.

Half the sun settled on his face while the other was kept in the cold shade. It felt odd so Heechul shifted into the sun with both eyes closed, afraid the sun would blind him and rammed into something hard.

"Ow." He rubbed the side of his head and opened his eyes, wondering where the sun went.

A tall figure stood in his way and the sun made it hard to see who it was. It hurt to strain them just to make the outline of the face. But when they did, he jumped back and rubbed at his eyes this time. Wondering if this was actually happening.

"H-Hangeng?"

"Yah! What are you doing here?" Hangeng crossed his arms, walking into the shade.

"Uh…" Was all Heechul could manage.

"This is my spot."

Heechul chuckled and then looked back Hangeng. He felt like toying with him a bit. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Then why haven't I seen you here before?" Heechul smiled.

Hangeng scoffed and shifted in his stance. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Hangeng gave up. "Scoot over!" He snapped at Heechul, slightly kicking him with his foot.

Heechul did as told and moved over into the cold shade. Shivering a little but the warmth of his own heart speeding up inside his chest warmed him up. His face felt hot and his palms were starting to get sweaty. The silence growing between the two didn't make his situation any better because his heart wouldn't calm down. Here he was with Hangeng, actually sitting next to him and it seemed a little too surreal.

He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming but ended up pinching a little too heard and gave a little yelp.

Hangeng snapped up and stared at Heechul. Taking in the scene and rolled his eyes. He couldn't help but notice Heechul shiver just a little and he did something he didn't realize he did.

He gave Heechul his jacket. He knew he shouldn't have but he was feeling a little generous and he, honestly, couldn't stand the fact that the guy he was in love with was cold. Slowly, he would come to the fact he liked men but it would still take some time. He couldn't just change suddenly. He still, sort of, liked women.

Heechul jumped at the sudden contact and the slight graze of Hangeng's skin on his neck. Feeling the Goosebumps rise on his skin as his heart suddenly went in a state of utter panic. Hangeng could probably hear it.

"Gamsahabnida.," Heechul said. Hugging the jacket close and inhaling the smell of Hangeng. He has a musky sort of forest smell. It smelled nice.

"Ah! Food!" Hangeng reached for Heechul's lunch box and placed it on his lap. Opening it find a half a sandwich, a bag of M&M's and a small juice box.

Heechul just watched Hangeng take his lunch like it was his own and eat it. He seemed to be enjoying until he decided to comment on it.

"Did you make this?" Hangeng said with a full mouth.

Heechul nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

"It taste awful." Hangeng took another bite.

Heechul narrowed his eyes at Hangeng, wondering why he was still eating it. "Gee. Thanks," Heechul droned.

"Really! How can you eat this?" But yet he still kept chewing.

Heechul snapped the sandwich away from Hangeng and the lunch box. "Then don't eat it!"

It was funny to watch Hangeng try to grab the sandwich back from him because Heechul kept teasing him.

"Yah! Give me it back!"

"It's my sandwich!" Heechul mimicked Hangeng.

Hangeng finally snatched it away and scooted far enough away so Heechul wouldn't get it back.

Heechul just watched Hangeng eat the rest of his lunch and didn't even bother to say thanks.

"Your welcome," Heechul said.

Hangeng just shrugged and laid back on the grass.

It felt a little relieving to have Hangeng by his side. After all the pain he went through, his heart still craved his touch. As much as he hated it, he still wanted it.

I make no sense, Heechul mentally slapped himself. Just then his phone vibrated.

It was a text message from Siwon and he was asking if they wanted to go out tonight. Heechul didn't have anything planned so he said yes anyways. He liked being with Siwon. It made him feel happy.

When he looked back up, Hangeng was gone. His eyes searched around the courtyard until they finally found on him, already walking into the building. Heechul sighed and got up, then noticing the jacket that still clung to his shoulders and smelled heavenly.

Heechul decided to take the abnormally long way home. Of course he could get a ride but he felt like he needed to think about things for a while. To get a break of school.

He thought about school and how well he was doing. He then thought of Siwon and felt himself blushing. Heechul wasn't exactly a virgin. He's lost that long ago but he had not had sex in a long time. Because he believed you could only do it with someone you love, and Heechul loved that person. The person he gave up everything for. The guy he was madly and deeply in love with but he was gone. He had to forget about it.

So him and Siwon have done things but they haven't gone farther than that. To put it blatantly, Siwon has not 'entered him' but has touched him. Who never knew Siwon was good at other things.

Heechul chuckled to himself evilly and skipped a bit.

"What's up with you?" A voice asked.

Heechul snapped around and jumped back when he noticed Hangeng, again.

"Are you stalking me?" Heechul blurted, then covering up his mouth. Blushing deeply.

"What?" Hangeng smiled. "No, I'm just…walking."

"Because it seems like your stalking me."

"I would never…" Hangeng laughed.

Heechul looked at him with cautious eyes and walked on with Hangeng by his side. It kind of seemed like he was following him and it was also weird that Hangeng was walking the same way as him.

"Oh, here's your jacket," Heechul said. He pulled the black coat out of his bag and handed it over to Hangeng. Attempting to get one last smell before giving it over without being seen.

"No. It's okay. You can have it."

"Uh…Okay then."

They walked on longer in silence with Hangeng occasionally whistling. That was until it drove Heechul to the edge.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled. They had stopped on the trail that trailed like a maze around the park but would lead him to the street that his house would be on. The woods facing the backs of both of them.

Hangeng jumped back and then ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Why have you been walking with me for the past thirty minutes? Why are you following me! You are stalking me, aren't you?" Heechul rushed.

"Sorry."

"You can't apologize for stalking someone. You leave them alone!"

"I am following you but only because I wanted to tell you something. I was going to tell you at lunch but you make it hard for me to think. So I decided to follow you home and tell you but as you can tell by just walking with you and not saying anything, I haven't found the guts to do it," Hangeng said.

Heechul cocked his head to the side, shaking it at the same time. "What are you talking about?"

"Heechul," Hangeng started, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Following me? You said that already so you can leave now." Heechul pointed to the left.

"NO! Let me finish!" Hangeng snapped. With a deep breath, he started again. "I'm sorry for ruining your school year here. You were new here and I made it where you weren't able to make friends. I'm sorry for hurting you but there was reason behind it. You know how when you love something, you sometimes don't want that person, or whatever it may be, to love someone or something else? To put it simply, that was how I felt when I was with you. I felt like I needed to protect you so I hurt you to make people stay away from you.

"But you would understand if you were me. People at school were saying things about you that I didn't like. Things like how they wondered what you were like in bed," Hangeng paused to see Heechul's reaction.

His face twisted in disgust and question.

"They were actually thinking about doing things that were worse than what I was doing. I did those things to you because, like an animal, I was marking my territory. Telling the others who and what was mine which was you. But then it felt like my plan was falling apart because you ended up with someone else.

"I'm sorry for everything but I also did it because it was hard for me to accept the fact that I love you. That I love a man and he may no longer like me back. Obviously you don't because you're with Siwon but you get my point, I hope." Hangeng looked up into Heechul's dark eyes and saw his hands shaking.

"You asshole!"

"What?"

Heechul placed both his hands on Hangeng's chest and pounded onto him with all his strength, backing Hangeng up.

"I can't believe you! You stupid, dimwitted idiot!" Heechul screamed. "Do you know how much pain you put me through! How many times I cried and how afraid of you I had been!" Heechul's eyes were brimmed with tears. "I don't know why I ever loved you! And I still don't know why I still do!"

Hangeng took both of Heechul's hands and pulled them off of his chest. "What did you just say?"

Heechul fell to the ground as Hangeng went with him. "Why? WHY!" He cried. "Why couldn't you just tell me you loved me? Why couldn't you just do things the easy way? I would of said yes if you just didn't act like a total ass to me. I c-can't believe you're saying this to me now!" He choked as he punched Hangeng in the chest one last time.

Hangeng didn't know what to do. He wasn't sure if he should be happy that the man he loved, loved him back or be angry that Heechul hated him.

"Heechul," He whispered.

"What?" He moaned as his hands tightened around Hangeng's shirt and letting his head fall on him.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

"I'd kick your ass."

"Good~" Hangeng chuckled and took Heechul's face in his hands. Without letting Heechul think, he kissed him roughly on the lips. Remembering the time he kissed him on the rooftop. He could feel Heechul hitting him but each hit grew fainter and replaced themselves around his neck.

Heechul pulled himself as close as possible to Hangeng's warm body. Letting his lips move violently against Hangeng's and dragged his tongue over his lips.

Ten seconds in and he's already turned on. And when Hangeng would let his hand trail it's way up his shirt, he convulsed into a world of pleasure and Goosebumps.

"Heechul, I love you," Hangeng whispered, running his hand through Heechul's short brown hair.

"Stop talking and kiss me," Heechul snapped.

Heechul felt sky high. He felt like the happiest person in the world. Not only because he found out the man he loved, loved him back but also the fact that it was Hangeng. The guy he's liked since the beginning.

What he didn't realize was that he was so caught up that world that he had totally forgot about Siwon. Totally forgot about their date and spent the night with Hangeng.

"Heechul~!" His mother sang as she walked into his room.

"What?" He asked.

She walked over to his window and pulled the blinds open. "Wake up~! Your father and I will be leaving for the night with some friends. We're going on vacation on the island so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind if we let their son stay with you?"

"No, I don't mind," he said. "Who is it?"

"His name's Hangeng. We met his parents at a conference and you know your father, he get's along with others so well." She laughed.

"W-what?" He froze. His heart started to race and he jumped out of bed without fixing himself up and ran down stairs near the voices.

"Heechul?" He heard his mother call out.

He slid into the living room and noticed three men standing together with smiles on their faces. It was Hangeng and his father talking with his father.

The figures both looked up at the same time and Heechul could only see Hangeng wink at him with a smirk.

"Heechul! You're awake?"

"Ye." Was all he could muster up as his eyes still lingered on Hangeng.

"This is a friend of mine." His father motioned towards the older man.

"Annyeong!" Heechul said.

"Oh~! Look at the time. We'll be late." He exclaimed.

His mother walked back in with her purse around her shoulder and waved for the men.

"Heechul, we'll be leaving so I hope you can show Hangeng to a room. Make sure to get along."

"Oh, it's okay!" Hangeng smiled at Heechul's father. "We go to the same school so I'm sure we'll get along."

"Oh? Is that so?"

Heechul felt his legs go weak as he watched with wide eyes. Was this a dream?

Was Hangeng really staying over?

Heechul finished making dinner which didn't seem to be much. He felt like a sandwich so he made what he usually made for lunch but made a second one with a painful face.

Walking out to the table, he placed the plate in front of Hangeng. They hadn't talked since his parents left and Hangeng didn't seem to care. He just walked around the house and looked at whatever he found interesting. Heechul hiding out in his room, hyperventilating to death wondering what he's going to do.

"Do you only know how to make sandwiches?" Hangeng said.

Heechul nodded. "Yep. I'm sorry I'm not a chef."

Hangeng took a bite and nodded. "Yep. Taste horrible."

"Aish~!" Heechul whispered to himself.

He couldn't understand Hangeng at all.

"So what do you do when your parents are gone?" Hangeng asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? You don't, like, throw a party or anything?"

Heechul looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I don't have friends remember."

"I thought you did."

"I do, but I'm not telling you who."

"So…uh…"

Heechul chewed slowly and picked at the crumbs that were falling onto his shirt.

"Heechul?" Hangeng asked.

"What?"

"Do you want to do anything after this?" Hangeng whispered.

Heechul froze and gulped down his bite. Almost choking on how big the piece was. His eyes brimming with painful tears until it finally made it's way down his throat.

"What do you mean?"

"No! NO! Nothing like that!" Hangeng nervously laughed. "I meant, like…do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"You want to watch a movie?

"Yeah~!"

"After what happened yesterday?"

"Uh…"

Heechul smiled to himself and took another bite of his sandwich. It seemed a little odd for Hangeng to ask Heechul to watch a movie.

"Hangeng, I don't understand you."

"What do you mean?" Hangeng asked.

"It's weird. I never knew our parents were friends and when I do, they drop you off here with me to stay with each other for a night. Are you planning something?"

"No. I never knew our parents were friends either."

"You didn't?"

"No…"

They ate in silence for awhile as Heechul gathered his thoughts. He could not help but notice Hangeng occasionally looking at him out of the corner of his eye. It didn't help much either when he would be reminded of last night and then start remembering what had happened in the woods. It was like his blood would start rushing again and he would start craving Hangeng's touch all over again.

He dropped his head on the table with a moan. Afraid of what may happen tonight.

So Hangeng didn't really leave Heechul's side after that. He clung to him like a leech and sat on his bed while Heechul wandered around on the internet for a bit. They forgot about the movie and Hangeng was not really sure on what to do next with Heechul.

That man was like a puzzle. You start to think you have the right piece but when you put it together, you find out you were wrong.

He heard a phone ringing and noticed Heechul shuffle around to silence the sound.

"Annyeong?" He said.

"It's Siwon."

Heechul smiled to himself. "Hey, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you were okay? You didn't come over last night and I thought something had happened to you."

Shit, Heechul thought. "Uh…No I'm fine…now! I wasn't feeling so good last night so I came home. I'm so sorry I didn't call you about that."

"I hope your okay Heechul," Siwon said. "Do you mind if I come over?"

Heechul started coughing. If Siwon found Hangeng here, he's not sure what would happen. He looked back at his bed where Hangeng sat staring and flipping through a magazine.

"Uh…Siwon, I'm still not feeling well. I think I came down with the flu."

"Well, call me tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay. Bye Siwon."

"Bye~! I love you."

Heechul felt a pang of regret in his heart. "I love you too." He clicked the end button on the phone and let it fall to the ground. He had just lied to Siwon and he wasn't feeling like the greatest person in the world.

It didn't help when he felt hands run there way down his chest.

"Hangeng," he whispered.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Heechul moaned at the feel of Hangeng's hand trailing down to his waist. His cold fingers making him shudder from the touch but also moving into it.

"D-don't-" Heechul gasped.

"But I love you Heechul. When will you see that?" Hangeng whispered in his ear.

"I do but I-I can't."

"Why not?" Hangeng stopped. "I love you! But it doesn't make me feel any better that you're still dating that man!"

"Leave," Heechul whispered.

"What?"

"Hangeng, I can't do this."

It took all he had to resist.

Hangeng ignored his plea and kissed him like he did before. Placing both hands on Heechul's waist and shoving his body on his desk, pushing everything to the side.

Heechul moaned at the feel of Hangeng in him. How rough he was when he was angry and how sweet he was when they finished.

He felt like he was going against everything he believed in.

Hangeng was just so addictive.

"Thanks for hanging out with me Sungmin." Heechul smiled, twirling his spoon in the ice cream.

Sungmin skipped as he scooped the ice cream into his mouth. "I'm just glad you're feeling better."

"What do you mean?"

"Siwon said you were sick. I know we probably shouldn't be eating something cold but I'm just glad you're feeling better! I was lonely for a while."

"What about your boyfriend?"

"I haven't seen him and when I call him, he says he's busy with work."

Heechul nodded.

Sungmin didn't really like to talk about his boyfriend. And when they did, he usually had a solemn, sad visage on. It looked like he was on the brink of crying.

"Anyways~!" Sungmin smiled. "Where to next?"

Heechul chuckled. "Uh…the mall?"

"Good! Because I really need some new scarves."

Heechul smiled. They both had finished their ice cream so Heechul took both cups and walked over to the trash can. Looking up and catching something he didn't plan on ever seeing.

At the café across the street was Hangeng…and his girlfriend sitting down and having a cup of coffee.

Heechul froze and mentally slapped himself.

"How the hell…?" He whispered, walking back over to Sungmin's side.

Somewhere deep inside him, he felt like he was being used and everything Hangeng had said or done to him was a lie.