Happy Valentine's Day to those that celebrate. Happy Single's day to those of us that don't have, or even don't want someone to celebrate with. Here's a little chapter with my favorite couple! We all know Edward would do V Day right!
First & Ten Chapter 25
BPOV
"I don't see why we have to go to the grocery store."
I grinned over at Edward, who was actually trying to pout. It was pretty damn cute but I wasn't about to tell him so. His hair was still damp from our extra-long shower and I brushed it out of his eyes.
"Because you're the one who invited everyone over to watch football tonight. I know you're content to order from the take out menu but the least we could do it put a little effort into making our guests comfortable." A little thrill moved through me at my use of the word 'our'. It felt right though.
"What's wrong with pizza?" he demanded, looking longingly at the bed while I pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of my drawer. Yes, I had a drawer of my very own at Edward's house. He'd presented me with that the same day he gave me the key. It was the most adorable thing ever, how tentative and sweet he'd been.
"There's nothing wrong with pizza, but we need drinks. You're almost out of beer, the girls might like some wine and we could throw together some wings and a salad or something," I told him as I pulled the t-shirt on over my electric blue bra.
Edward rolled his eyes and pulled me to him. "They'll deliver."
"Beer and wine? I don't think so."
His grin flashed and I socked his stomach. They probably would deliver for him, but damn it, we were going to the grocery store and that was that. "Sorry, Superstar, I think you manage to mix with the commoners for a few minutes and go to the store with me."
He chuckled and kissed my neck, completely unmoved by punch to the gut. Damn rock-hard, pretty, sexy abs. Not to mention the hot mouth that was sucking gently on my throat. Maybe we could just…no. I yanked myself away from him and laughed as he sulked and pulled on his own t-shirt.
"Alright, your loss, sweetheart."
I smacked his bitable ass with my hair brush and shrieked as he grabbed me and tossed me over his shoulder.
"Put me down!"
"Maybe I'll carry you through the grocery store like this. We'll be bound to attract tons of attention then."
I smacked his ass with my brush again and he moaned and put me down. I saw the hungry look in his eyes and felt my stomach flutter. No, we couldn't right now.
"Come on, stud, aren't you tired yet?" He had to be. My body felt like it'd been through the ringer, or the best work out of my entire life.
He grinned, his green eyes still slightly darker, as they tended to get when he was turned on by me, which happily, was a lot. "I'm never too tired to touch you," he said. That was so incredibly hot that of course I had to kiss him and naturally his hands started to wander; first pulling me against him, where I could feel Zeus stirring, and then grabbing my ass and squeezing.
I yanked myself away, though my body wanted to stay right where it was. "Get a move on or Emmett will be barging in on us naked. Do you honestly want that?" I could imagine the joy in Emmett's face as he snapped blackmail photos.
"Alright, let's go to the store." He took my hand and grabbed his wallet and keys and we walked in silence down the hallway.
Edward jabbed the down button for the elevator and it arrived quickly. We got in to the empty car and he pushed me against the wall. I chuckled and ducked underneath his arm. "You're insatiable."
He nuzzled my neck. "You like me that way."
I really, really did. We reached the bottom floor without further incident and Edward held the car door open for me before getting in on his side and starting it up. He lived fairly close to a Safeway so we went there. It was Sunday afternoon and very crowded and I groaned when I saw the sheer volume of cars in the parking lot.
Edward smirked as he pulled into a space. "Our first public outing. Looks like there are plenty of people here to record this momentous event." His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out and frowned, hitting a button to silence it.
"Who was that?" I asked as I got out of the car before he could come around to let me out.
"The caller ID said it was Extra. Those TV guys?" he asked with a frown. "Why would they be calling me?"
Something occurred to me but before voicing it I decided I better see if I was right. "Check your voicemail."
He raised an eyebrow at me but did as I asked and I saw his jaw tighten in anger. Damn it, I was right. "Victoria?"
He sighed and shut his phone. "Apparently she's giving out my personal number since she's no longer my employee." He looked at his phone and scowled. "People, The National Enquirer, Page Six, Sports Illustrated, ESPN…you name it, they've called. I missed them while we were in the shower."
I don't know why it surprised me that she was a vindictive bitch but it did. I took his hand in mine and tugged him toward the grocery store. "You're going to have to get a new number, as soon as you find a new publicist."
He sighed and squeezed my hand. "I'll take care of it tomorrow. We have one more day off before it's back to the grind."
We approached the sliding doors at the front of the Safeway and a woman with two small children came out. She gave us a harried smile and started to push her cart past when all of a sudden she jerked to a stop. "Oh my God, you're Edward Cullen!" She started to pat at her red hair and gave Edward a bright smile. He smiled back automatically and started to nudge me toward the door when the redhead reached out a hand to him. "Could I get an autograph?"
I looked at his face, which was frozen in a smile, but he nodded and the woman rummaged around in her huge bag before producing a pen and her receipt. Edward put it against the wall to sign and I smiled at how sweet and accommodating my boyfriend was. "Maybe you could give me your number, too?" she asked hopefully. My smile went away and I glared as Edward coughed and handed the woman back her receipt, sans number, though he muttered something about everybody else having it anyway.
He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "I'm afraid I have a girlfriend, but you take care." His eyes flashed to her children and back. "Cute kids you have there."
She shook her head, as if bringing herself out of a trance and glanced at her kids. "Oh yeah, thanks. Well, if you ever change your mind, I'm here every Sunday morning…" she trailed off as Edward propelled me into the store and left her standing there. What the fuck?
"She just propositioned you right in front of me!" I hissed. I don't know why it surprised me. It had happened the first time we met, but he wasn't mine then and this lady was hitting on him right in front of her kids, who might have been four and two years old.
Edward sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It happens all the time, Bella."
It was one thing knowing it, but it was an entirely other thing seeing it. "She was married though!" I hadn't missed that rock on her ring finger.
Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Do you think that honestly matters?"
I frowned. "It should." It would matter a hell of a lot to me.
Edward wrapped his arms around my waist. "It matters to me, sweetheart."
And I knew it did, so I hugged him back. Suddenly this trip to the grocery store wasn't as appealing as it had been earlier. "Get a cart and let's get out of here." I could already feel eyes on us and sure enough, when we turned the cart into the store there were numerous people in the checkout lines staring at us. I tensed and Edward pulled me in front of him, so that I could push the cart. At least that's what I thought, but instead of pulling away, he put his hands on either side of mine on the cart and pressed against me.
"What are you doing?" I whispered, feeling my cheeks start to redden at all the scrutiny we were already under.
He leaned forward and put his lips next to my ear, which made me tense for another reason. "I'm helping you push the cart."
I scowled. "I don't need help."
"Maybe not but I like having you in my arms."
And I liked being there, but not with every grocery shopper in the place staring at us. "They're going to stare whether I touch you or not, sweetheart, and I'd rather have my hands on you than not. It bothers me less and I think it'll be the same for you." His right thumb linked with my right pinkie and I had to admit it was kind of cute.
"This is a hazard and I'll probably hurt myself," I told him, because let's face it, two people pushing a cart was a disaster waiting to happen.
"I won't let you," he replied confidently, and I knew that was probably true as well. "Now are you going to stand here and argue with me, while more people stare, or are we going to get this done and go watch some football?"
Very valid point. I sighed and pushed the cart and Edward walked with me, his strong arms surrounding me as we made our way down the aisle. Man and woman alike were staring at him as if he were the second coming. At least nobody came running up to us as we headed toward the chip aisle. Edward released me when we got there; grabbing three bags each of Doritos and Ruffles, as well as three different types of dips.
"Just how much do we need?" I asked, as he threw in some pretzels as well.
He chuckled and grabbed a can of Pringles. "You forget,Emmett can out-eat all of us combined." That was true. I waited as he looked over the rest of the chips and decided that he had enough. He pressed against me again and helped me guide the cart to the deli/meat area.
"Do you want to get some meat?" I asked, stopping to look at the turkey offerings.
Edward chuckled and pressed into me and I gasped as I felt Zeus against my backside. "I have plenty of meat for you."
I elbowed him in the gut and he backed off quickly, blowing out a rush of air when I connected with his chest. "Pervert," I told him. The guy behind the counter was laughing at us and I felt my blush returning as Edward laughed with him.
"You make me that way," he told me, when he finally was done laughing at me. I turned to glare at him but he was smiling and he was so damn adorable that I couldn't maintain my irritation. Damn him.
"I'm glad, but save it for home," I told him. He shot me an unrepentant grin and wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed. "Seriously, do you want to get some sandwich fixings or just get chicken?" I stepped away from the cart and grabbed a couple of bags of their pre-made hot wings. Edward laughed and grabbed several more.
"Emmett," he told me. Right, I had to pretend I was feeding 26 instead of just 6. He turned to the deli server. "We need two pounds of smoked turkey and two pounds of honey baked ham." He grabbed two bags of sandwich rolls and put them in the cart as well. "And one pound of cheddar cheese and one pound provolone." I gaped at him but he just grinned at me.
Before I could say anything, I heard a click to our right. I turned and saw a woman about my own age snapping pictures of my boyfriend. Edward seemed totally unphased by it, shooting her a smile and wrapping his arms back around me as she snapped away. Would I ever get used to it? I turned to face the counter again, letting her only capture my profile. Her phone rang a second later and she started to shriek into it about the fact that it was really him and she was standing five feet away.
Edward chuckled quietly and I shook my head, hoping they'd get our order together quickly. I should have listened to him and let him order delivery.
"Yeah, we're at the Safeway on Elm! Did you tweet them?" Oh Jesus, they were tweeting our location? We really needed to get out of here. I took the turkey and mentally encouraged the server to hurry. "Do you think I should? But he's with a girl! Yeah, that's true. Okay, I'll do it."
I felt Edward tense behind me and he turned, but kept his hand at my waist. I turned with him and saw that the woman in question was actually touching his arm. Oh, hell no.
"Hi," she said flirtatiously. She was pretty, with curly light brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a tiny ass pair of shorts and a tank top and I really kind of wanted to kick her ass for going to the grocery store looking like a whore. She probably was just lying in wait for a guy like Edward to come along. Too bad he was taken.
"Hello," he replied politely.
"My name is Kara." She tilted her head and gave him a sultry smile. I thought about smacking her with the ham that I'd just been handed. Maybe I could say that it slipped, like Rose's wine. Maybe I could shove her face into the slicer…no, that was too violent. But it would be fun. Edward just smiled and tightened his grip on my waist.
"You're Edward Cullen, right?" Why did everyone always feel the need to tell him who he was? He knew who he was, damn it. And so did I. He was mine.
Edward nodded but didn't say anything else. "I was wondering; you don't play today right?"
Like if he played today he'd be standing in the middle of the fucking Safeway buying enough food to feed my office for an entire week? How stupid was she?
"Right," Edward replied, his eyes on me. I wondered what he saw on my face. Did I look like I wanted to shove her into the slicer? Did I appear homicidal? I must not, because the woman was still looking at him like she wanted to throw him down and take him against the glass wall of the meat counter.
"That's cool! So, like, do you want to come over to a party at my friend's house? Our sorority gets together every Sunday and we usually watch you play, but now we could watch with you!"
A roomful of horny co-eds wanted my man to come over. No wonder they always killed off sorority chicks in the movies. I suddenly felt the urge to call up Wes Craven and see if he had any plans for the afternoon. Was Ted Bundy still alive? He had a thing for sorority chicks, didn't he?
"Sorry, my girlfriend and I have plans," Edward replied, pressing his lips to my cheek. I didn't know if it was just for show or if he was trying to keep me calm, but I did feel some of my anger start to abate. I no longer felt the need to google sorority killers on my phone, at least.
"Oh." She looked me up and down and smirked. "Well, she can come too."
I did come, countless times, thanks to his hands and his tongue and his cock. Something you'll never do, Kara.
"Thanks, but we're busy. Have fun though." Edward turned his back on her and caged me against the cart again. I relaxed a bit as his body pressed against mine. "Forget her, baby," he whispered.
Like it was that easy? I knew it would be like this but that didn't mean I had to like it. I had to try to get used to it though and find my sense of humor about it. Really, these women were ridiculous, after all, approaching a guy who was clearly taken. Where did they get the balls? I would never do something like that. Hell, I wouldn't even do it if he'd been alone and I'd seen him out and about somewhere.
Finally the last of our order was done and I grabbed the stupid cheese and put it in the cart. Edward and I headed toward the beer. Right before we got there, a boy of about seven came up to us, his Cardinal's hat perched on his head. "Hi!" he said, his brown eyes wide with excitement. His father was standing next to him and looked nearly as star struck as his son did.
Edward grinned and held out his hand to the boy. "Hello. What's your name?" All my irritation melted away as the boy's face lit up and he shook Edward's hand.
"I'm Tim! That's my Dad." He pointed over his shoulder and his father gave us a sheepish smile. "We're your biggest fans!"
"You are?" Edward asked. "Well, if you're my biggest fan, you're going to need me to sign your hat, aren't you?"
His eyes got even wider. "Can he Dad? Can he?"
His father laughed and took the hat off his head and held it out to Edward. "Of course." I rummaged through my purse and found my pen and gave it to Edward, who signed it 'To Tim, my biggest and favorite fan'. He handed the hat back and Tim held it to his heart. So damn cute. I felt my ovaries start to flutter at the thought of Edward grinning at our little boy like that someday. Dangerous move, Bella.
"Is she your girlfriend?" Tim asked, looking over at me.
Edward nodded. "She is. She's sure pretty, isn't she?" Tim looked bashful but nodded. I smiled and held out my hand. He took it and squeezed it quickly.
"Thank you, Tim. You're my favorite of Edward's fans, too." Since the rest of them were all whores, it wasn't much of a competition. He turned bright red and buried his head in his dad's chest. Edward laughed and ruffled his hair.
"Are you going to be a football player someday, Tim?"
He pulled away from his father and nodded emphatically. "I'm gonna be a quarterback, just like you!"
"You let me know if you need any pointers someday," Edward told him. Tim's eyes got even wider and he gulped.
"Okay!" Obviously he was too excited to think of the logistics but Edward gave him another handshake and told him we had to get going. He clutched his hat to his little chest and watched as we walked away.
"That was adorable," I told Edward.
"It's not always women that want to screw me. I have some normal fans, too." Edward pointed out with a laugh. I scowled and poked his side while he grabbed a couple of twelve packs of beer. "Do we need wine?"
I thought about it and shook my head. I really wanted to be done. We steered the cart up to the front and Edward signed a few more autographs while we waited in line. I got a few polite smiles and one woman even told me she'd read our article this morning and she loved it. I decided that I liked her second best after Tim when she treated us like we were no big deal. We unloaded our items and Edward paid for our groceries. I breathed a sigh of relief when we hit the parking lot. There were still people milling around but at least we had some space.
"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Edward asked, running his fingers down my back as we pushed the cart to the car. He popped the trunk and we quickly loaded the groceries inside.
"I guess not, though I think next time I'll take your suggestion when you want to have stuff delivered."
He laughed and steered the cart into the cart return. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me soundly when he returned. "It won't always be like that, but it does happen."
I sighed and leaned against him for a moment. "I know. I'll get used to it. Somehow."
He tilted my head up and traced my cheekbones with his thumb. "It doesn't matter if every woman or man for that matter, in that store propositions me. You're the only one I want. Remember that and we'll be okay."
That was true. They could all want what I had, but they'd never get him. He was mine. I smiled and kissed him quickly.
"You're right. Let's go home." Home was comfortable. Home was private. Home was uncomplicated. I wanted to be there desperately.
He helped me into the car and got in on his side, starting it up and taking my hand in his. "I love you, Bella. Only you."
I closed my eyes and let myself breathe in those beautiful words. "I love you, too. Now let's go home and get ready for an Emmett invasion." Edward laughed and we went back to our bubble. We'd be out of it again soon enough.
Xoxoxoxox
"Are you ready for some football?" Emmett shouted as he burst through the front door. I rolled my eyes at Edward and relaxed into his arms. We'd left the door unlocked because Em probably would have rammed through it if we took too long to answer anyway.
He walked into the room and handed Edward a book while grinning at me. "What the fuck are you giving me The Notebook for?" Edward asked. I glanced and sure enough that was the book in his hands.
"Well, Edwina, after reading all that sappy shit in the paper this morning, I figured you were embracing your inner woman. I also signed you up to receive those romance novels every month too. Rosie, what are they called?"
Rose came in and handed me a bottle of wine. "Harlequin Books, Emmett." She sat down in the armchair and Emmett plopped next to me on the couch.
"Yeah, that's it. Each month you'll get like five of them. I'm sure they'll help you with how to catch that dreamy man that you've been pining over." He grinned at Edward. "Of course, that man is me and I'm already caught, so good luck with that."
"You mean by Jasper?" I asked. Edward barked out a laugh as Emmett scowled before joining in. He threw his arms around me and squeezed me none too gently.
"That was epic, Bella! Of course, you know, this means war. But at least I finally have a worthy opponent. Those two yahoos are way too easy to get one over on."
Emmett released me and Edward's arm snaked around behind me as he whacked Emmett in the back of the head with his new book. Emmett chuckled and grabbed it out of his hand, placing it gently on the coffee table. "Don't harsh on my present, Cinderfella. I went through many sappy looking books before finding the sappiest. Rosie got all teary over the thing so I figured that was the way to go."
Rose crossed her legs and raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't pretend you haven't seen the movie, Emmett. You watched it with me and I remember a tear or two in your eyes."
"Hey! That never happened. I had a dust allergy. And I only watched it because you wanted to." Emmett nodded decisively.
"Sure, Emily, you're the one dating men," Edward replied, tucking me closely against his side.
"You're just jealous that I didn't buy you."
"I think you're the jealous one, Hercules," I told him, putting my hand on Edward's thigh and giving him a challenging grin. Emmett's eyes narrowed and he got up and left the room. "Did I piss him off?" I asked.
Rose started laughing and only shook her head. Edward looked as mystified as I was. Emmett let out a triumphant shout from the kitchen and then came back in. "Whip it out, buddy. We'll see who's bigger."
"Is that a tape measure?" I asked, just as Alice and Jasper entered the room.
"Edward is," Jasper answered, shooting a glare at Emmett. He was obviously still not happy about last night.
"And just how the hell do you know?" Edward asked, looking between his two friends with interest.
"I have two eyes, don't I? I've been around both of you naked and while I never took the time to measure, it's kind of obvious. You're longer; he's about the same girth, maybe a little thicker."
"I'm really fucking disturbed that you know that," Edward told him. Jasper just grinned and plopped down in a recliner, pulling Alice into his lap as she giggled at all of them. "Emmett, put that thing away. I'm not letting you measure my dick. I think he's getting smaller from just hearing that conversation."
"Not my Zeus!" I put my hand over him protectively as everyone in the room roared around us.
Edward chuckled and took my hand away from his cock. "It's just fine, baby. Though I think I'll start wearing a bathing suit in the shower."
Jasper smirked. "What? I'm comfortable in my manhood."
"Yeah? I noticed you didn't compare yourself to the two of us," Emmett replied. "Though maybe you're just trying to maintain a little mystery for our next date, eh?" He waggled his eyebrows at Jasper suggestively and was met with an angry scowl.
"You'll never get your hands on me again, Emmett. I swear it."
"Wait! He got his hands on you? Do tell!" I sat forward eagerly.
Jasper just gave me the zipped lip signal and I frowned, but I should have known better. "Emmett grabbed his ass when they were sitting down for dinner!" Alice supplied gleefully. Jasper poked her side but that wasn't about to stop Alice. "And then he took his steak and cut it for him, like he was a little kid instead of his date. He ordered his drinks, pulled out his chair, the whole shebang!"
I looked at Emmett who was smiling gleefully. "What's with the ass grab?"
"Well, Riley grabbed mine we were dancing, and I'm talking a full on grab and squeeze that drove my dick right into his." He shuddered but then shrugged. "At least he appreciates a fine ass when he sees one." He shot me a disapproving look that had me collapsing against Edward as I laughed. He joined in, looping both his arms around me. "Anyway, if I got groped, then Jasper was getting groped. Turnabout is fair play!"
"I didn't grope you, assmunch. You should have groped Riley!" Jasper was steamed, his blue eyes on fire as he remembered the trauma he'd endured at Emmett's hand, or hands I guessed.
"Riley would have been happy if I groped him. You had to endure what I had to endure."
"I had to endure Old Lady Fuller's wandering hands. You didn't have wrinkled old lady hands on your thigh."
"So are you saying a man's hands are better than an old woman's?" Emmett demanded. "You really are gay."
Jasper huffed. "If I am, I'm not gay for you."
"You damn well would be gay for me. I'm hot! Everyone wants me." He looked around the room for affirmation but got none, not even from his fiancée.
"Then why did you go for the least of all of us?" Jasper asked with a triumphant smile.
Emmett frowned but then his face cleared. "Because Rosie scared all my bidders away. Nobody's afraid of Alice."
Alice looked up then and gave him one of her patented withering looks that had caused many a bigger man shrink in terror. "Is that so, Emmett? That's not what I hear."
Emmett gulped. "Why's everyone picking on me? I thought we were here to pick on them." He gestured at Edward and me. "Lady and the Tramp with their soulful looks and their disappearing acts."
"Aww, did you miss us, Emmett?" I asked, settling my head on Edward's shoulder. He ran his fingers through the ends of my hair.
"Damn right! I may not have gotten to bid on him but I could have at least made him dance with me. Jasmine over there was too high and mighty to get out on the floor with a real man."
"That's because I don't dance with men." Jasper was still steamed; it was pretty funny to see the anger on his face. Alice seemed perfectly content though, wholly unconcerned that her man was so annoyed. I had no doubt she'd gotten an earful last night.
"No, just wrinkled old ladies." He grinned over at us. "He had to dance with Mrs. Fuller ten times. And I told her that he was interested in one of her Pomeranian puppies. He wants a little girl named Penelope that he can dress in pink bows and sweaters."
"Is that why she told me I could come over next week?" Jasper demanded, his face turning a nice shade of red.
Emmett raised his eyebrows. "What did you think she wanted you to come over for? Some under the clothes groping? Why Shaggy, you old dog, you were hoping for some old lady lovin' weren't you?"
Jasper lifted Alice out of his lap and got on his feet with his fists balled up. I looked at Edward who didn't seem to care that Jasper was about to beat Emmett to a pulp. He simply pulled us both off the couch as Jasper launched himself at Emmett and the two of them tumbled, knocking the couch over and rolling around the floor, grunting and swinging. I was far more worried about the couch than the two of them and I motioned to Edward to help me right it when they rolled off the top of it. He did so and I ran my hands over the back, thankful that it didn't appear to be damaged.
I peered over just as Jasper landed a decent punch to Emmett's jaw. Emmett hit him in the side of the head with his big paw and Jasper flew off him, stunned by the blow.
"Are you two just about done now?" Rose asked, sounding bored. She hadn't moved from her seat and Alice was sitting on the arm of Rose's chair. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for them to fight but usually it didn't get physical. Jasper and Emmett eyed one another and then Em got up and held out a hand toward Jasper. He allowed him to pull him to his feet, releasing his hand immediately upon standing.
"Sorry, man," Jasper muttered. "You just pushed me too far."
"No harm, no foul," Emmett told him good-naturedly, slapping him on the back. "It would have happened sooner or later. Sorry I pissed you off." Jasper nodded and all appeared to be well again.
"Thank you," Rose told them. "Now, if you're through acting like children, I'd like to tell Bella and Edward about the really fun part of the evening."
"Do tell!" I sat forward eagerly. I wasn't sorry I'd missed all the fun. I'd had fun of my own here at home that couldn't be remotely matched by old ladies and ass groping.
"Well, about a half hour after you two pulled your little disappearing act, Esme decided to rescue Tanya." Ha, how had I forgotten about that? Out of sight, out of mind I guess.
"What happened? Did she scream bloody murder? Am I going to be reading about it in the paper?" Shit, what would stop her from going to the press?
Rose held up a hand. "All in good time, Bella. When Esme told us she was going to let her out, Alice and I went with her, just in case she tried anything." Rose smirked. "I wasn't about to let the opportunity to get in a punch go by a third time."
Alice giggled. "And I wasn't going to let her say one more word about you, or attack Esme or Rose."
I chuckled. "You didn't want to miss out on the action."
Alice nodded. "That, too. So we go to the private area of the clubhouse and it was completely quiet. I thought she'd still be screaming bloody murder but I guess she gave up at some point."
Rose smiled. "So we make a big show of rattling the doorknob a few times, and Esme tells Tanya that we're changing the knob and we'll have her out in a minute. She starts cursing up a storm in Russian and I'm all braced for battle, ready to throw down when she gets out. I don't know what she was calling your mom, Edward, but I'm sure she wasn't telling her what a lovely woman she was."
Edward frowned and I squeezed his hand. I knew he was still very unhappy about the Tanya situation, even though it had turned out rather well for us, at least I hoped so.
Alice jumped in. "Your mom was totally cool about it though. She just acted like nothing was wrong and that she'd been so worried about Tanya. We finally had the manager unlock the door and there's Tanya."
"The stain on her dress had spread all the way down the front. She'd been trying to wash it off with paper towels and soap and water. She looked even worse than she had before!" Rose grinned in triumph.
"She balled her hands into fists and stepped toward your mother when Rose moved right in front of her. She jumped back like she'd been lit on fire when she saw her face!" Alice giggled.
"Yeah, she's afraid of me. She's more afraid of Esme though."
"My mother? Why in the hell would anyone be afraid of my mother?" Edward asked.
"Because she's magnificent!" Rose told him. "She actually pushed me out of the way, walked right up to Tanya and said in the scariest voice I've ever heard, 'You're free to go, Tanya, but I'll have you know that if you breathe one word of this evening to the press, I'll see to it that you lose every modeling contract you have and any new one that comes along. Don't speak about my son or his girlfriend. If I hear you talking about them, you'll be sorry. And I'll know if you do.'" Rose did a dead-on Esme imitation, although this was no Esme I'd ever encountered. Thank God for that. Edward's mouth was hanging open like a fish on a hook.
"My mom threatened Tanya?"
"Hell yes, she did! And she was more frightening than I could ever hope to be. Maybe it's like a lioness protecting her cub or something?" Rose shrugged.
"Awww, you're her cub, Simba!" Emmett looked quite pleased to have a new set of nicknames to borrow from. Edward chucked The Notebook at him and Emmett caught it, laughing his big old belly laugh.
"So that was it? She just accepted that and left?"
"Well, she did say that she never wanted to hurt dahling Eddie," Alice mimicked Tanya's accent terribly, but it was funny. "I go now. Men love me. I find new one." Alice snickered. "We gave her a tablecloth to wrap around herself and plunked her in a limo and off she went.
"Are we really free of both of those witches?" I wondered aloud. Edward laughed and nuzzled my neck.
"Looks that way."
"You got rid of Woody Woodpecker? Alright!" Emmett shouted.
"Yeah, I did, but I'm paying for not being organized." Edward scowled at his cell phone which was still turned off.
"What do you mean?" Jasper asked.
"She gave my phone number to every magazine, reporter and God knows who else that's been calling since news about Bella and I broke. Last check I had about twenty messages wanting interviews." I traced the line of his jaw which was flexed in irritation and he gave me a tight smile. "I asked Tommy to find me a new publicist but in the meantime I need to call some of these people back myself and get a new phone number."
He looked at Alice who was watching him with interest. "Actually, Alice, I was kind of wondering if…" Before he could finish she'd snatched up his phone.
"What's your password?" she asked. We all watched as she whirled out of the room, only to return a minute later with her huge organizer. "I need your calendar. I know when you practice and leave for games and such, thanks to my Jazzy." She sent him a smile which he returned with a tip of his imaginary hat. "Do you have any other meetings that he doesn't? I'm going to need your agent's number, to arrange interviews of potential replacements for me."
She stopped when she realized the whole room was silent and staring at her. "What?"
"Um, I take it you're going to take the job?" Edward asked, smiling wryly.
"Temporarily. I'm a planner by nature, so I can help with your scheduling. And I'd love to give input on your clothing line." The light in her eyes was almost maniacal and scary. I pitied Edward's employees.
Edward blew out a breath. "Okay then. Tommy and Alec are both on speed dial, four and seven respectively. They'll be the two you'll need to get with on any potential meetings. I do have a quarterback's meeting every Tuesday at five and I get done about seven. My planner is in the computer room…" he trailed off as she exited the room to go get it. "Holy hell."
"I don't know what you just did, but I have a feeling you might miss Pricky Vicky when this is all said and done," Emmett whispered, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Alice hadn't come back in the room.
"Better her than me." Edward scratched his head. "I think."
I grinned at Edward. "She'll do a great job for you, I know it."
"You might never see your phone again," Jasper told him, looking highly amused at the turn of events. His usual good humor was restored. Men were weird; beat on one another and then everything was fine.
Oh yeah. "Speaking of phones." I disentangled myself from Edward's arms and went to get mine. Emmett's eyes lit up when I came back in the room with it. "What else did you do?" I asked him.
He gave me an innocent look. "I have no idea what you mean."
"Sure you don't." I sat back next to Edward and started scrolling through my ringtones. "Shake Your Moneymaker for my doctor?"
"I figure he's seen that hot ass a time or two," Emmett told me, his voice filled with humor.
"Bootylicious for the dentist?"
"I took a calculated risk that they wouldn't call you this week. When are you due in for your next cleaning?" he asked.
I scowled at him and kept going. "Fat Bottomed Girls?" I yelled, barely resisting hurling my phone at him. The only thing that kept me from doing so was knowing that he'd probably do something even worse with it if he had it in his clutches again. I really didn't want a picture of his hairy ass.
"What? It's a classic!" Emmett told me, after he finished laughing. Jasper was doing his best to contain his laughter and Rose wasn't even trying. At least my Edward was holding back, though his green eyes were dancing with amusement. "And it was for your gynecologist, so I figured it was most fitting."
"My ass is not fat!" I yelled. Alice stuck her head in the room and scowled at me, shaking her head in disapproval as she talked to whomever it was she had on the phone. So sorry I interrupted her business calls. I rolled my eyes and kept scrolling through my ring tones.
"Smack That?"
"I knew you were a freaky one, Swan," Emmett told me.
"I'll be smacking someone," I muttered. Edward finally lost it and I glared at him.
"Sorry, sweetheart, but you're just so funny when you're angry."
"I need to find a new ringtone for you," I told him peevishly.
"Whip It!" Emmett suggested. "No wait!" He typed away on his phone furiously and then lit up in a smile and all of a sudden, some random song started playing. "It's called Pussy Whipped!" he announced in delight. We listened to the words and I almost fell off the couch as we listened to the song about the boy who got pussy whipped. Emmett played us various songs of the same theme, each funnier than the last, and all of us were near tears.
"I dunno, Em, I think those could apply to all of you," Rose announced. Emmett opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it when she looked at him.
"Quite true," he agreed. "I'll send them to you," he told me helpfully.
I giggled and thanked him, closing my phone after I removed all the offensive ringtones.
"So, speaking of that," Rose said suggestively. "Did you two have a good time last night? Did Edward earn that half a mill you put down?"
I chuckled and grinned at the embarrassment on Edward's face. "He most certainly did. I let him work off part of it this morning though."
"Hot damn!" Emmett yelled approvingly. He turned to look at Jasper. "You know, you didn't earn more than a hundred dollars from me last night. You better get going on the other $74,900."
Jasper glared at him. "Don't you start again. I didn't ask for you to buy me."
"But you did and now I own you."
"You owned me last night, not today." He sat back and crossed his arms.
"But you didn't do anything last night! Go get me a beer and I'll knock $500 off your tab."
"I'll get you a beer alright, and wing it at your head," Jasper told him.
"And let's see, I'll knock $1000 if you streak in the Bear's locker room after the game on Sunday. And $5,000 if you measure Edward's dick and tell me so I can compare it to mine. And $3,000 if you name drop me in your next interview." He was off and running, listing ways for Jasper to earn his keep as Jasper attempted to studiously ignore him.
I turned to Edward. "Zeus is worth way more than $5,000."
He chuckled and kissed my ear. "I know, but we don't need to encourage him. I have visions of him pinning me to the floor while Jasper tries to measure me. It's not fun." Actually it kind of was but I didn't want to tell him that.
I snuggled against him and watched Jasper and Emmett argue again, Rose flip through some car magazine and heard the occasional Alice murmur from the other room. This, right here was where I belonged. With these crazy, fun people. They made me forget about the crap from earlier in the day and reminded me of just what I'd gained since Edward came into my life. Everything.
A/N So they've had their first foray out in a regular public setting and she survived. Kara the sorority girl almost didn't, but hey, you can't have everything! I hope you liked it, and the little glimpse into the evenings of Jasper, Emmett and even Tanya. Yes, I'll do outtakes for those at some point but there was no way they wouldn't discuss it so now you know some of the happenings. Would you grope Jasper's ass if you had a chance? Your hands would obviously be more welcome than Emmett's! How bout those new nicknames? I'm right fond of Cinderfella. Wanna read The Notebook with Edward, or do you want to hold out for those steamy romances? Inquiring minds want to know!
My recently completed AU, Taste of Innocence, is nominated for 4 Vampies at www(dot)twificpics(dot)com/vampawards. If you're so inclined, go read and vote for your favorites. There are lots of great nominees!
Thanks to all the people that read, rec and review this story. The response continues to floor me week in and week out. New readers, welcome! I hope you enjoy the ride. I answer every review, except anonymous ones, and those I always wish I could. I've had a bad couple of days sleepwise and I need to crash hard tonight so if I don't reply to your review right away, like I usually do, it means I'll get to you tomorrow. Thank you all so much for the kind words. I love your love for this story.