Welcome back to the non-canon section of TTC! Or, non-canon until we get a name for Zelda U. We'll see.
I guess I should explain this chapter - in my other Zelda fanfic, I mentioned a certain show (CSI: Clock Town) and... this happened. Starring Zelda as our leading, tough-as-nails cop, Link, the sharp and witty freelancer, and a few other characters along for the ride, who knows what will happen? Enjoy and read on!
"Who's our vic?" Zelda peered down at the body floating belly-up in the water, limbs bloated and distended. A light drizzling rain fell into the small canal, peppering the water in rings.
"Name of Baito. Lives in that house right there." Kafei pointed to a small, ramshackle apartment complex across the canal. A few bystanders had gathered behind the yellow police tape, peering at the floating corpse.
"What do we know about him?" Leaning over the filthy canal, Zelda watched with a professional eye as a few of the nearby officers hoisted the body out of the water with some difficulty.
"He weighs as much as a Bullbo." One of them grumbled under his breath as he strained to raise Baito from the murky surface of the water.
"Our killer left his weapon behind." Anju, Kafei's partner, pointed to a long blade stuck between Baito's shoulder blades, slick with congealed blood. "Now we know cause of death."
"Not necessarily." A voice sounded form behind her and Zelda turned to see one of the members of the gathered crowd step forward, a man no older than her dressed in a long green trench coat. He eyed the body coolly and raised his head, smirking as he met Zelda's intense gaze. "See the contusions around the neck and on the hands? Obvious signs of a struggle and asphyxiation."
"Excuse me, but who are you? This is a private crime scene." Kafei asked irritably, crossing his arms. "You shouldn't be here."
The man shrugged, smiling ruefully. "Just trying to help."
"He's right." Mack, CTPD's medical examiner, knelt beside the body, snapping on a pair of latex gloves. "I'd estimate time of death at three hours ago? I'll have a better estimate when we get him back to the lab."
"Good. So our killer knifed the vic in the back, then strangled him to death." Zelda mused, eyes focused on the churning depths of the canal.
"And it was down to Davy Jones' locker for him." The man from the side commented, and Zelda wheeled on him, frowning. "What? Face it, that tip was a good one."
"We would have discovered the contusions soon enough." Zelda snapped, which only earned another smirk from the man. "I think it would be in your best interest to head home, sir."
The man's smirk grew and he ran a hand over his chin, as if thinking. "Sir, I think I like that. The name's Link, officer, but you can call me whatever you like." He flashed her a roguish grin and pressed a business card into her hand. "If you ever need some help with this case, just call me."
"I'd rather end up like Baito did." Zelda replied, walking away from him at a brisk pace. Anju raised an eyebrow as she approached, accurately judging her story expression.
"You'd rather end up like Baito? I never heard you so cold towards guys, Zel, and especially cute ones." She nudged Zelda in the arm and she rolled her eyes.
"Please. He was interfering with the crime scene. Can we just get back to the precinct and find our more about our vic?"
Anju turned to Kafei and shrugged. "Fine, if you insist. We'll pack up here. But keep that card, okay? He is cute." Before Zelda could protest she followed Kafei back to one of the squad cars and peeled away.
Casting one glance back at the strange man in the crowd, Zelda turned and entered her own car, slamming the door behind her.
…
"Baito Thames. Age thirty-seven, occupation as a part-time worker at the trading post, works late shifts. He popped on our evaluation for one count of assault and battery when he was twenty, during a protest for an environmental club, something about gravity and moon." Kafei placed a photo of Baito one one of the cork boards that lined Zelda's office. "Other than that, the guy's clean."
"Any next of kin?" Leaning back in her chair, Zelda scrutinized Baito's face.
"Yeah, a fiancee. We're bringing her in now, and Anju's going to ask her a few questions. I just thought, you know, a girl might want to do it." Kafei shrugged. "Plus, I never know what to do when they start crying."
Zelda laughed lightly, tearing her gaze from Baito's features to Kafei's embarrassed face. "Oh, come off it. The impenetrable Kafei gets nervous when girls cry?"
Kafei's blush darkened and he started for the door, muttering something about murder files and the records room. Zelda followed him out, where Anju was leading a distraught-looking woman to a sitting area. The woman looked near tears and Zelda tapped Kafei on the shoulder.
"I won't judge if you look away during the intense bits." She whispered, and Kafei scowled.
"I'll never hear the end of this, will I?"
"Where did you say our vic worked again?" Zelda asked, rifling through the case file in her hands. "The trading post?"
"Yeah, the one on Seventh and Main in West Clock Town. Why, are you going to go down there?"
Zelda closed the file quickly. "Might as well check it out. Think there'll be any leads?"
Kafei shrugged. "Apparently our vic worked late shifts. Maybe his manager was the last one to see him alive. It couldn't hurt. Want me to come with?" He offered, and Zelda inclined her head to where Anju sat, comforting the now sobbing fiancee of Baito.
"Sure – after all, I'm sure you're begging for release from all of these crying women." She teased, and Kafei groaned loudly.
"Fine, but only if I can drive." He bartered, and Zelda gave in, nodding.
"Sure. Just don't get too stressed if your terrible driving skills bring a tear to my eye."
Kafei's scowl deepened and he pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Both Baito and that joke are dead. Don't make me add your name to the list."
…
Zelda and Kafei entered the trading post late at night, the flickering streetlights casting long shadows on the sidewalk. The shop's manager, a sleazy-looking man with a comb-over, gave them a long glare before returning to polishing his countertop. Zelda gave the shop a long examination, and then observed the manager, who had yet to speak to them. As she walked the length of the shop Kafei began to converse with the man.
"So, it's a real shame about your partner. We're doing everything we can to track down his killer."
"Yeah, whatever. Baito was a lowlife and a slacker. He deserved what he got." The manager spat, and while Kafei looked shocked Zelda moved in on the manager, hoping to extract more information.
"Can you elaborate?" She asked, and the manager lit a thick cigar, puffing smoke as he mused over his answer.
"I meant what I said." He growled, chewing on the end of his cigar irritably, and Zelda frowned.
"What did Baito do when he worked here?" Kafei asked, opening a small notebook and pulling out a pen.
The manager gave the officer a scornful glare before turning his narrowed eyes to Zelda. "This and that."
Brushing past the manager despite his cries of protest, Zelda stormed into the back room of the trading post. Behind the shelves of arrows and potions she saw a multitude of boxes, battered and dirty. The stained postage marks showed they were orders from somewhere in Hyrule Field, and Zelda turned back to the manager, whose face had drained of color.
"Can you explain these?" When he didn't respond she turned back to the boxes and opened the flaps swiftly. Inside were a few empty bottles and pebbles, nothing more.
"Someone cleaned them out before we got here." Kafei cursed, then turned to the manager. "These boxes are addressed for Baito. What did he do here?"
"We're blown!" The manager shrieked, then sprinted for the door. Kafei barked out another oath and jumped after him. A low sound from behind Zelda made her turn and she peered into the shadows of the alley behind the shop, where a dark figure was darting off into the night.
"Stop! CTPD!" She yelled at the figure, drawing her pistol and chasing after the fleeing shape, only to watch it disappear into the shadows. Cautiously she slowed her pace and held her firearm in front of her, tensed and prepared to fire.
"Come out! I am armed and ready to fire!" Her voice echoed in the silence of the shadows, and a shuffling sound to her left made her spin. As she took a step toward the noise someone tackled her from behind, launching the both of them against the alley wall.
Fireworks erupted in Zelda's skull as she collided with the brick, but she forced herself around and lashed out at her assailant, raising her weapon, but it was ripped from her grasp before she could fire. A thunderous crash sounded as she was shoved into a large trash bin and then punched brutally in the ribs. With a shriek she swiped her hand across the attacker's face, feeling her nails dig furrows in flesh. A low growl and stream of curses were the only sounds that alerted her that she had succeeded. She was about the strike again when the force that shoved her against the bin was released and she crumpled to the ground, gasping at the lacing pain that stabbed through her ribs. Someone gave a garbled shout and a body hit the ground with a thump, but Zelda's thoughts were already fading as she slumped against the wall.
"I think I'm going to want my card back." A cocky voice broke the silent pause after the fight, Zelda's last sensation before she fell unconscious.
dun dun dunnnn *cues YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH*
Anyways, what do you think so far of CSI: Clock Town? Any of you geniuses know who the murderer is yet? I would be both surprised and impressed, but mostly impressed. Go ahead and guess!
Reviews would be much appreciated! You guys always make my day with your feedback. Thank you thank you thank you for reading!
I guess that's all for now. Until next time!
(YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!)
(If you don't get the 'yeah' thing... It just wouldn't be a CSI story without it.)