A/N: Apologies for the delay in posting, I had an OF I had to work on. Thank you for your patience…YOU GUYS ROCK!

Thank you to penguincullen for allowing me to share.

Thank you to texasbella for betaing my mumblings (I'd be lost without your support sweetie)

I have a blog and fb group now happening. I'd love to see you there! I share silliness, teasers and more!

Group addy is www . facebook groups /338269579585801/

Blog: theworldofljharris . blogspot . com . au/ (take out the spaces)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I'd sure like to own a Ripperward of my very own.

CHAPTER 24 – CONFESSIONS OF A SUBMISSIVE

We walked into the library and I sat on the plush velvet couch, while my Mistress opened a drawer and pulled out a pen and a manila folder. My breathing quickened as she joined me and placed the file in my suddenly shaking hands.

"In that file is a detailed listing of everything you could possibly conceive as far as play goes, along with my preferences. Though I usually don't reveal my desires to a potential sub before they have revealed theirs, considering our unique circumstances, I feel it prudent to lay all our cards on the table, right from the word go. You will find my needs and desires on the left of the page, as well as hard and soft limits. You are to make notes of what you want on the right. Take your time, and try to be honest. This isn't about matching every one of our needs perfectly, but more about exploring new frontiers together. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I whispered.

I opened the folder and quickly ran my eyes over her list. In so doing, I realized that as far as sexual experience was concerned, I was a mere babe in the woods. I had done but a handful of the things listed, and most of them were with my Mistress. How ironic. Here I was, thinking myself an expert on human physiology and yet, in so many ways, I was still so very naïve.

I licked my lips as I continued to scour the contents of the list, pleased to discover I wanted to explore every one of my Mistress' desires. Bella had but a few things listed as hard limits, such as role-play that involved diapers, but I did not have any desire whatsoever to explore those particular proclivities. I continued to appraise the list until the words 'blood play' jumped off the page, the infinite possibilities that particular scenario conjured within my depraved mind causing my already hard shaft to thicken further. The very thought of giving her every part of me, body, mind, soul as well as offer her my life-giving essence, caused a tiny shudder to vibrate through me.

Continuing to read through every one of her deepest, darkest desires, I found it interesting my Mistress had listed a number of preferences, caning and anal penetration among them, as things she desired to give... as well as receive.

Very interesting indeed…

Of course she loved to dominate, it was an integral part of her DNA, but considering what was on this list, I also wondered if she had ever submitted to another in any way.

"Have…have you ever been a submissive?" I asked hesitantly, bracing myself for her answer.

"Any Domme worth their salt has," she confirmed.

No!

"Even one who has strong dominant instincts such as yours?" I gasped, barely hanging on to my composure, my sudden surge of possessiveness threatening to unravel me entirely.

"Of course," she answered casually, as if it were nothing. "Don't forget, Edward, even you, a full blooded vampire, has no problem submitting to me, so it's obviously something that can be considered a part of vampire nature, don't you think?"

"That could be true to a certain extent, but I cannot imagine submitting to anyone else but you. So, who was it you offered yourself to?" I spat in a strained voice, swallowing heavily, attempting to calm my inner beast as I waited for her answer.

I knew it was irrational…ridiculous to think I would be the first and only one capable of giving her what she needed. Isabella had a life long before we met, but that knowledge still did not stop the jealousy from waging its war on my highly volatile psyche. The very thought of another touching her that way. So intimately. Giving her what she craved. It just angered me so.

Mine!

I could not hold back the low growl that left my throat, and as it did, in an instant, her fingers were clutching my face, eyes boring into mine with fierce intent. "Edward, I need you to take a few deep breaths and calm yourself," she soothed, thumbs slowly circling my skin.

I nodded and did as she asked, breathing in and out for several long moments, eyes locked with hers the entire time, one long, final exhale eventually calming me.

"You know you are the only one I have ever wanted this much, don't you?" she whispered seductively, my tongue instinctively searching out her sweet breath as it wafted across my face. As much as I may not have liked what Bella had admitted thus far, the urge to know everything about her far outweighed the negative.

"Yes, and I apologize, Mistress."

"No need to apologize. Believe me, the very thought of you being with anyone else doesn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy, either, and that's a first for me," she admitted with a tiny laugh, her darkening eyes flickering between mine.

"You do know it is because we are…mates," I informed her.

"Mates?" I swallowed nervously, the gravity of our connection finally put into words, and I hoped she felt the same.

"Yes. Two beings meant to be together for all time...who cannot survive without the other. Do you not feel it in your very soul?"

"Yes, I do," she admitted without hesitation, giving me an emphatic nod.

"So, please…continue. Tell me what happened when you submitted," I urged calmly, and as I did, she released my face and sat back, exhaling loudly, her expression suddenly forlorn.

"I did a few test weekends with a couple of different Doms, but none of them went at all well. It was then it was suggested I contact Mistress Rosalie. She had a good reputation in the BDSM community of not only being able to train some of the best Doms out there, but to also cater to the needs of submissives who needed…a little more as far as impact play was concerned. She took me under her wing the very day we met, and though I was very impressed by her skills and knowledge when we had our test weekend, she couldn't give me what I craved more than anything," she said with a deep frown, squirming in her seat uncomfortably, averting her eyes from mine.

"And what was it you craved?" I questioned, any remnants of jealousy that remained melting away in an instant as I ducked my head, and caught her gaze, demanding she look at me once more.

"Pain. I needed to feel pain, Edward. I was going through a difficult time trying to come to terms with my ailing health, and I wanted to feel something…anything that would make me feel alive again," she admitted in a shaky voice, her glistening eyes tainted with sadness.

"Oh, Isabella," I uttered sympathetically.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling sharply, she pressed on. "It was frustrating, because no matter how many times we discussed my desires, Rosalie had neither the physical capacity nor the ability to push herself beyond what she knew in her heart was her limit. She was stubborn, though, and up until I came along she had been successful with everyone under her tutelage. Though it was wrong, neither of us was willing to admit defeat, and as time went by, the chasm between us continued to widen. Instead of doing the responsible thing and ending our arrangement, she tried to stick it out, and because she did, I began to constantly test her, challenging everything she did to breaking point. Of course, Rosalie had no choice but to punish me for my infractions, even though she knew by doing so she was playing right into my hands."

"Did you enjoy…being punished?" I asked, swallowing minute traces of venom that had begun to leech inside my mouth once images of a very naked and vulnerable Bella being bound, gagged and fucked by one extremely voracious vampire ran rampant through my head.

"Yes…and no. Though her attempts made me feel a little closer to my goal, my pain threshold was so high that Rosalie's punishments still didn't quite have the impact I was seeking. It got to the stage where I felt numb…so numb that not only was I immune to pain, I wasn't able to become sexually aroused any longer. That, combined with my increasing guilt about taking her out of her comfort zone, did me in. And then, during a particularly difficult session, it all ended, just like that. When I kept begging for more after she was physically spent from flogging me for close to an hour, she refused and told me the scene was over. Instead of accepting that, I got angry and accused Rosalie of being a failure and tried to goad her into caning me until I bled as punishment. It was then she used our safe-word for the first, and very last, time."

"And so you ended your arrangement?"

"That very same day," she confirmed with a sad smile. "Even though I didn't much care for what I saw when I looked in the mirror after my little journey of self-discovery, I will always be grateful to Rosalie. She tapped into a part of me…a very dark and disturbing part…that I never knew existed. Unfortunately, after we'd arrived at our impasse, she told me she wasn't certain anybody would be physically or mentally capable of giving me what I needed more than anything, and it was then she offered to train me as a Domme. I was shocked at first, but she explained that developing my skills in restraint and having the responsibility to tune in to another's needs could be just what I needed...and perhaps help me be more realistic about my own expectations. She wanted me to see what it's like to be on the other end of the cane, so to speak."

"And so becoming a Mistress satisfied your urges?"

"Somewhat," she answered rather unenthusiastically. "Aside from my increasing taste for blood, I simply learned to set aside my own needs for those of my submissives. It's been gratifying to be able to give those what they need while satisfying my hunger in return, but until you, I've never been anywhere near this sexually satisfied before…and we haven't even begun to scratch the surface…"

I couldn't help but smile in response, and as I did, Bella shuffled closer, settling her nubile body in my lap, each long leg straddling me, warm hands resting on my shoulders.

"Indeed. Until you, my life was empty…a mere series of hunts and kills, and nothing more. For the first time in the 300 plus years I've walked this earth, I finally feel as though I have another purpose to fulfil. It's entirely understandable a mere human was incapable of meeting your needs, because from my experience, only another of our kind would," I commiserated.

"I do believe you're right, Edward," she said with a nod and a warm smile. And then, her expression quickly became wistful as she mused in a tiny whisper, "But I still do miss the idea of submitting to another."

"You do?"

"Yes, but I haven't allowed myself the luxury of thinking about it. It's pointless, really…"

"And what if I said it wasn't pointless at all? You now have a vampire at your disposal…one who will not only do anything you ask, but who also possesses the constitution to perhaps give you what you need the most," I said in a rush, interrupting her negative train of thought.

"What are you saying, Edward?" she asked anxiously, searchingly.

"What I am suggesting is…you train me to fulfil those desires…to be your own personal Dominant," I offered.

"You would do that? For me?" she asked in a surprised voice, her eyes blinking and rapidly filling with moisture.

"You are my mate. Don't you know I would do anything…even die for you, my Isabella? If being a submissive is what you crave, then that is what you shall have. It would be my honour to serve you in that way…as long as it doesn't risk your wellbeing."

"I sense that as long as I'm drugged up on your venom, that won't be an issue," she said with a light-hearted chuckle, a thoughtful expression crossing her beautiful face. I could nearly hear the cogs turning in her head as she sat there, contemplating the offer I had just made.

"So, are we agreed?" I pressed.

"Yes, I think we are. Thank you, Edward," she said, pulling me into her arms, her beautiful scent surrounding me as her warm embrace soothed.

"You are most welcome," I responded as I pulled back and wiped away a single tear that dripped down the apple of her cheek, her smile glorious as I licked the salt from my fingers and groaned at the taste.

"So how about we make a start on exploring our desires right this very moment, and when I feel we are ready, we can begin training you? she suggested. I smiled in return and slid my fingers along her jawbone before reaching up and placing a soft, lingering kiss on her sweet, delectable mouth.

"Anything you wish," I whispered against her lips.

"So...you've looked over the list?" she asked as her eyes darted to the list I still clutched in my hand.

"Yes, and aside from setting me alight, you, my dear Mistress, have free reign to do anything with my body you wish." Quickly dispensing with the formality of marking all relevant items on the list as being highly desirable, I signed the document at the bottom, closed the file and handed it to her.

"Good. Now, I wish to rest…alone. In the meantime I want you naked and sitting on the end of the bed in our dungeon in exactly one hour. Once there, you will keep your eyes down and not speak until instructed," she growled playfully against my still-searching lips, grinding her arse just once against my already burgeoning erection before lifting herself off my lap.

"Your wish, my command, my beautiful mate," I said in low voice as a small grunt left my throat, thrusting my hips upward, seeking out her heat, only a few layers of thin material separating my weeping cock from utopia.

And as she let out a wickedly delicious groan and climbed off my lap and left me sitting there, hard and wanting, I knew the next 60 minutes could not pass by quickly enough...

-TR-

Within moments of her leaving, I was already in the dungeon and in position on the end of the bed, eyes down and hands clasped behind my back after having undressed in a flurry. As I sat and waited, white cotton sheets and coverlets stark in contrast to the blood red walls, soft lighting filled the room, creating a warm ambience. The only sound that could be heard was my ragged breathing and the constant click of my gullet as I repeatedly swallowed the excess venom down my throat. Cock leaking profusely and in desperate need of attention, a strong surge of anticipation began to scurry its way through my being.

I could not wait.

I was unequivocally hers…she possessed me in every way possible, and I was about to partake of her...allow her to push my boundaries once more.

Then I heard her…smelled her approach, the sound of her clicking heels halting as she stepped inside and closed the door with a soft click. The hauntingly familiar music soon followed, its sweet melody filling the room, engaging my senses, and I drew in a gasp and felt my lips twitch into a smile right before I began to relax, instantly feeling better with the knowledge she was close.

"Lie back, put your hands above your head, bend your knees and let your feet rest on the mattress," she instructed as she approached, using her most authoritative tone.

Doing as she had ordered, I resisted the temptation to look at my beauty, barely suppressing a growl as I heard her move away.

"Now close your eyes."

Within a split second of doing as she had bid, cold metal had surrounded each wrist and my arms had been stretched tight. Wrists cuffed in the metal manacles, the metallic sound of chains rattling as she secured me into position, the combined feeling of helplessness accompanied by the sensation of the cold, hard metal as it bit harshly into my skin caused me to let out a hiss.

"Comfortable?" she asked, a smile in her voice.

Not having been given permission to speak, instead, I swallowed heavily several times in quick succession, craving to touch her more than anything, but somehow managing to focus on the task at hand. Sensing her close proximity as her body heat threatened to capture me, the anticipation burning deep within, my every nerve was on high alert as I awaited her next instruction.

"Spread your legs nice and wide for Mistress," she added in a low, sultry voice, her sweet breath as it caressed my ear causing me to whimper.

I obeyed willingly, immediately allowing my knees to fall open and touch the soft fabric beneath. Listening intently, I heard her move closer as I lay there, completely vulnerable, and waited. All was quiet for several long moments, and I could quite literally feel her eyes study my open and pulsing arsehole, balls hanging ripe and full between my legs, cock leaking and hard as it rested against my stomach. It was then I heard her draw in the tiniest, but nonetheless audible, gasp. The sound of her response, accompanied by the resonance of her increasing heart rate and rapid breaths became a symphony to my ears.

"Open your eyes, and look at me," she commanded. My eyes fluttered open and met with hers immediately. Lips blood red and glistening, hair flowing and wild and eyes smoky black, she looked positively striking as she stood there, dressed in a red satin corset and tiny red lace knickers, her red shoes standing out against the black fishnet stockings that finished mid-thigh. In her delicate hands she held a length of thick, red rope, the coarse, protruding fibres guaranteeing a delicious burn as it rubbed against my skin.

"Your Mistress wishes to bind you," she said before slowly licking her lips. "Would you like that, pet? You may answer."

"Yes, Mistress," I answered eagerly, breathlessly, my entire body quivering in anticipation.

She then proceeded to meticulously weave the rope around my lower legs, binding my heels to the backs of my thighs as if she were an artist using my lower body to produce her latest creation. As she worked her way up each one of my legs, the rope cutting into my skin harshly as her fingers glanced every so often against my flesh, the never before experienced sensation of being completely at her mercy as each length of rope encased my body caused my already filled cock to throb with need.

I had never felt more vulnerable.

She had never looked more glorious.

And I absolutely loved it.

Watching as she retreated from my line of vision, I heard a few drawers open and close before she reappeared. Smiling and holding aloft a shiny, metal hook with a bulbous tip on one end in one hand, and a bottle of lubricant in the other, my cock began to leak profusely at the very thought of what she had planned. I had occasionally played with my anus when seeking out my own release, but had never ventured further than inserting a single finger knuckle deep.

"What colour are we, pet? You may answer," she asked as she placed the bottle on the bed and held the hook and the last length of rope between her fine fingers. As she waited for my response, her beautiful eyes roamed lingeringly over every part of her handiwork until they met with my own.

"Green, so green, Mistress," I moaned as a venom seeped from my cock and dripped onto my stomach, my response in direct correlation with my verbal acquiescence.

"Good. Now I want you to close your eyes and breathe in slowly and deeply…hold it for ten seconds, and continue to repeat. Focus on your breathing, and nothing else," she instructed, her voice simultaneously soothing but demanding at the same time.

Nodding and taking in a deep, shuddering breath, I held it within my lungs for the allotted time, my every muscle aching deliciously as she ran her fingers down the sensitive skin of my underarms, the sound of a bottle cap clicking as I reached ten causing me to tense for a moment.

"Breathe," she urged, humming along with the soothing music. And as I inhaled and held it deep within my lungs, cool, wet fingers met with my virgin hole, her nails scratching the surrounding muscle as she circled it slowly.

And as her fingers pushed inside my body and my Mistress took the last remaining vestige of my innocence, I allowed myself to become immersed in the moment...a moment I'd not soon forget...

A/N: *runs and hides behind couch* Next chapter...the rest of the scene!