Chapter 24 - Contact: The Zombie Brothers!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Bleach. They are the respective property of Masashi Kishimoto and Tite Kubo.
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[Desert, Land of Lightning, Shinobi World]
Current Time...
The desert wind was blowing lonely across the sunny landscape as two figures were taking refuge in a small cave. The first of these figures was a tall man with tanned skin and pupiless forest green eyes with red sclera. He wore a white hood with a black mask and a headband that bore the scratched out symbol of Takigakure. The second figure was a man with slick backed, medium length sliver hair and deep purple eyes. He wore a headband around his neck of an unknown village along with an amulet that identified him as a follower of the Jashin cult. He also wielded a scythe that had a metal cable attached to the end. The head of the scythe was blood red and had three blades that were place one on top of the other, with the largest being at the top and the smallest at the bottom. These two were Kakuzu and Hidan, the Akatsuki's "Zombie Duo", being named for their supposed inability to die. They were currently sitting with their eyes closed, communicating with their fellow members via a hologram jutsu.
With the meeting having just ended the two of them got up and stretched just as Kakuzu began to speak.
"It seems hard to believe that the Kyubi jinchuriki is allied with Sui-Feng. I wonder what I should be more surprised about: that or the fact that the jinchuriki has grown to such a high degree of strength, especially after he disappeared a few years back."
"Beats me... so what's so special about that Sui-Feng bitch, anyways?" Hidan asked as his partner glared at him.
"Watch what you say, idiot. Unlike you I've actually fought against her and she was able to destroy one of my hearts with no effort. An imbecile like you wouldn't last thirty seconds against her."
"Yeah? Well, fuck you, you fucking pussy!" Hidan shouted as he attempted to attack his partner, who responded by nonchalantly punching him in the face.
"Come on. We're wasting time and we have yet to get to Kumogakure to find the Nibi jinchuriki," Kakuzu said as he headed off in a northern direction.
"Oh, go suck a cock, Kakuzu!" Hidan angrily shouted as he followed his partner.
[Akatsuki Hideout, Amegakure, Land of Rain, Shinobi World]
Meanwhile...
As the Zombie Combo were bickering amongst themselves, the remaining Akatsuki members were discussing the events that were plaguing them. Deidara and Kisame had also left, meaning that the only Akatsuki members left in the conversation were Madara, Zetsu, the blue haired woman, and the orange haired man.
"Do you think that Kakuzu and Hidan will succedd in their mission?" Madara asked Zetsu, and the white half responded.
"Their chances are success are very high. Kakuzu is nearly invunerable, and Hidan's immortality jutsu makes him unkillable. The odds are in our favor as long as there are no interferences."
"What if Sui-Feng interferes?" the orange haired man asked.
"Then our plans are shot to hell," White Zetsu said as Madara spoke again.
"I'd have to agree... she is indeed a dangerous opponent. She was able to singlehandedly defeat Kakuzu and even the Sannin when all three of them were in their prime despite them having fought her all at once."
"Her teammates are powerful as well. According to Zetsu, the orange-haired one, this Ichigo Kurosaki, was able to fight the Uchiha one on one, even when he had activated two of his Mangekyō jutsus along with his Curse Mark," the blue-haired woman said.
"And the Kyuubi Jinchuriki was able to defeat Sasuke and the rest his squad, along with Jiraiya of the Sannin and the rest of the Konoha-nin in that battle, as if they were nothing after he managed to kill Orochimaru with seemingly little effort. It is quite surprising, as he was insignificant in fighting power three years ago by comparison. And while we don't know the full extent of the powers of the other in Sui-Feng's team it's clearly obviously that they'll be forces to be reckoned with as well," Zetsu said.
"We are indeed up against powerful opponents. We must play it safe if we want our plans to succeed; that said we must take steps to eliminate all of them," Madara said before he, the orange-haired man, and Zetsu sensed something. The two turned to the corner of the room, were a figure covered in shadows stood.
"You may come out now," Madara said as he nodded to the figure.
The man slowly stepped out of the shadows, revealing his full appearance. It was a man who was six feet tall and appeared to be in his early 30s. He had menancing brown eyes and brown, swept back hair with a single strand hanging over his forehead. The facial expression he had on was a mix of stoicism and smugness. He wore a long, white-sleeved jacket, white hakama, black tabi socks, white zori, and a magenta red sash around his waist. Tucked in the sash was a katana with a dark green hilt and a hexagonal tsuba. The man then stepped forward before greeting the Akastsuki.
"Madara. Zetsu. Pein. Konan. How is your day going?"
"How nice of you to join us, Aizen," Madara said in a sarcastic tone. The traitor to the Soul Society simply brushed off this comment before speaking again.
"I see that the weather in this country is gloomy as usual. I'm beginning to wonder if this village has even seen a single ray of sunshine in all of its creation. But I must admit that the village's architecture is much more advanced then that of the other-"
"Cut the chitchat, Aizen. What are you doing here?" Madara interrupted as Aizen simply chuckled to himself before speaking again.
"I've recently heard that you have been having recent troubles, with the lost of Sasori of the Red Sand as the tip of the iceberg. I thought it would be a good time to honor the terms of our alliance."
"Where did you heard such rumors from?"
"Sui-Feng isn't the only person with connections around. However, I'll spare you the details" Aizen replied slyly. In reality, Aizen was lying through his teeth, as merely managed to eavesdrop on all of the Akatsuki's previous conversations.
Despite his suspicions, Madara decided to go along with this a bit as he continued to interrogate Aizen.
"What were you planning on doing?"
"It's simple: as a sign of good faith, I am going to leave two of my subordinates at your disposal. Please feel free to do with them as you see fit," Aizen replied as he snapped his fingers. Two figures, obscured by shadows, soon walked out of the corner. Madara slowly looked them over, analyzing them before speaking.
"Very well."
[Desert, Land of Lightning, Shinobi World]
With Hidan and Kakuzu...
As Madara was sizing up his two new recruits, Hidan and Kakuzu were currently treading through the rough desert terrain. Hidan had his scythe casually hunged across his shoulders. The two continued to walk until they heard the sound of something slicing through air. Suddenly, what appeared to be a very long whip came crashing towards them. It was composed of several segmented blades connected together by stretchable thread. The whip slammed into where the Zombie Duo were formerly standing, having evaded the attack in the nick of time.
"What the fuck was that?!" Hidan asked aloud as the whip began to retract to where it originated. The two looked other to where it was retracting. On top of a plateau were Soifon and Renji, the latter having just released his shikai. Before the two could react again, the Captain and Lieutenant flashstepped over to where they were, Renji having Zabimaru resting across his shoulders.
"Hello... it's been while, Kakuzu-chan," Soifon said mockingly as Hidan suddenly bursted out laughing.
"Ha! Kakuzu-chan? Is that some sort of fucking pet name or-?"
Hidan's outburst was cut off by a swift punch to the face, courtesy of his partner. He then turned to Soifon and began to talk to her.
"Long time no see, Sui-Feng. Tell me, how have you been, 'the shinobi that all shinobi fear'? Or would you prefer it if I were to call you 'the Black Hornet'?"
"What kind of names are those?" Hidan asked as he recovered from Kakuzu's blow.
"'The shinobi who all shinobi fear' is a name that answers itself. Her other moniker, 'the Black Hornet,' comes from the outfit she wears as well the sword that she wields, which she refers to as Suzumebachi (Hornet). Among all the shinobi that have walked this world she has the largest bounty of them all attached to her name: 200 billion Ryo, Dead or Alive, or 500 billion Ryo if you can also bring in her sword due to the unusual powers that it possesses, to be paid by the collective funds of all the shinobi nations to whomever brings her in... assuming that it's even possible to take her down, anyways."
"And let me guess: you're going to kill her and cash in on her fucking bounty, aren't you?" Hidan asked in an annoyed tone. Surprisingly, Kakuzu simply shook his head in the negative.
"No. I barely survived my first encounter with her. I may be greedy, but even I have enough common sense to go after the 'shinobi who all shinobi fear'."
"Heh. I'm surprised that you aren't acting on your fucking vice."
"This is coming from a guy who follows a masochistic cult."
"It's a religion, you fucking asshole," Hidan shouted in comedic fashion before Soifon addressed Kakuzu.
"Nice partner you got there. And I'm surprised you've learned something last time around... but that doesn't change the fact that you're time has come. You've made a biggest mistake of your life by joining the Akatsuki, Kakuzu-chan, and you'll pay for it with your life… though you won't pay for it with me."
Before anyone could question her words, Soifon flash stepped in front of Hidan before slamming her palm into his face, pushing him back with a tremendous force and out of the area. Kakuzu ignored this as he stared down Renji.
"So are you some sort of acquaintance of hers?"
"In a way, yes. I may not be as powerful as her, but I'm pretty strong myself."
"Very well. Since I'm not an imbecile like my partner, I better go all out against you."
With that, Kakuzu removed his cloak, revealing that he wore a greyish tank top and had several stitches covering his body. The most noticeable feature, however, was the fact that he had four masks stitched on to his back. They each had a different color, representing a different chakra nature it possessed. They current ones represented the elements of earth, wind, fire, and lightning. Kakuzu then flexed, causing each mask dropped off of his back before they all began to grow monstrous bodies of their own. The Earth mask took on the form of a demonic, beaked biped, the Fire mask took the shape of a demonic tiger, the Lightning mask took the form of a deformed biped, and lastly, the wind mask took on the form of a strange, four-legged body with thin legs. Renji simply raised an eyebrow at this.
"Captain Soifon is right... those things do look a lot like your average run-of-the-mill Hollow," he thought before contacting the spirit of Zabimaru in his subconious. The spirit of the zanpakuto took on the form of a white baboon with a red face and purple markings covering its body. In place of its tail was a white snake with the snakehead at the end of it.
"How can we help you?" the baboon part of Zabimaru asked as Renji spoke.
"I'm going up against this freak standing in front of me and I don't feel like wasting my time with him... I was hoping if I could use half of it."
"Why only half when you can just use it's full power?" the snake part countered.
"Because it's full power is overkill!"
"So is half of its power."
"That's why I want to use only have of it."
Zabimaru thought about this for a second before speaking again.
"Alright, we'll let you use only half of its power. Besides, using the full thing on somebody like him would be a waste of energy and a sick joke."
Zabimaru then faded away as Renji looked over at Kakuzu before flashing him a confident grin.
"It looks like it's time to collect the debts you owe," he shouted before striking a stance and uttering one word.
"Bankai!"
A giant burst of wind suddenly surrounded Renji and temporarily obscured Kakuzu's vision. When the dust settled, it revealed that Renji's zanpakuto had taken on a new appearance. It now resembled the skeleton of a snake. It had gained many more segements that were a mixed between the picks on its shikai and a vertebral column of a serpent. It had also gained a massive snakehead with a mane of scarlet red fur. Renji had also changed, now sporting what appeared to be an ape fur cowl. The skull of the ape was mounted on Renji's left shoulder like a spaulder while the rest of the fur extended to cover his right arm. The snakehead screeched at Kakuzu's masks as Renji announced the name of his bankai.
"Hihiō Zabimaru (Baboon King Snake Tail)."
With Soifon…
As Renji and Kakuzu were about to begin their battle, Soifon had taken Hidan two or three miles out away from her teammate to a clearing. She threw Hidan very roughly to the ground, the Jashinist tumbling as he skidded across the hard desert surface. The Jashinist slowly got up, using his scythe as a form of support. He then gave a psychotic grin as he began to chuckle to himself.
"You may intimidate Kakuzu, but you don't fucking scare me, you stupid bitch! I am a disciple of the almighty Jashin-sama! I spread his word throughout the lands-"
"Save me the religious extremist bullshit... it's not like you even have to bother with it, anyways," Soifon interrupted. Hidan was pissed off by this interruption.
"What did you say, you fucking bitch?!" he yelled before Soifon continued.
"I know who you are. You were once a shinobi from the village of Yukagure, the Village Hidden in Hot Water. You massacred everybody in the village because you hated the fact that it had transpired to a peaceful tourist attraction. You then joined the Jashin cult, somehow obtaining immortality. Some time later, you joined the Akatsuki and was partnered with Kakuzu because your inability to die meant that he could lose his temper whenever he damned well pleased and the Akatsuki wouldn't have to find a replacement partner every time he did. You're Hidan, and to me, you're a nobody."
"H-how the fuck do you know all of that," A bewildered Hidan yelled as Soifon simply smirked in response.
"I have my ways," she said before Hidan started to cackle madly.
"Well, you're still out of luck, bitch! First I'll kill you, then I'll find that fucking Uzumaki brat and gut him like a fuckin' fish! I make that cocksucker pray for mercy and make him curse the bitch he came out of before that first, though."
With that, Hidan rushed forward, intending to mutilate her with his scythe. Soifon didn't immediately react, and instead looked at him with a cold look in her eyes. She was originally going to defeat him with Kidō, but insulting her friend (and one of the first friends she had had in years, alongside Haku) had just made it personal. She was going to make him suffer.
With a flick of the wrist, Soifon quickly drew out Suzumebachi, holding it in a reverse grip. She quickly blocked Hidan's swing with her sword before parrying the attack. Hidan then started to swing mindlessly and quickly, trying to get at least one drop of her blood. Soifon, knowing that dealing with him would be ludicrously easy, quickly flashstepped in front of him and cut off the scythe at where the heads began.
Hidan, disgruntled at the lost of his weapon, discarded by the remains of his scythe and took out a black rod from the inside of his cloak. He then extended the the rod, revealing it to be a retractable spear. He then attempted to impale Soifon, The Captain simply flashstepped behind him before decapitating him with one clean stroke. Hidan's head flew up into the air before descending to the ground, landing a few feet from his body.
"Ha! You think cutting my head off would kill me? I'm fucking immortal! I can't die and you can't kill me!"
"The only reason you're immortal is because the ways people have tried to kill you with are too predictable," Soifon said as she pulled two items out of her haori. It was a bottle of liquor (which she had "borrowed" from Rangiku's stash) and a matchbook. The Captain then walked over to Hidan, who looked on in confusion.
"What the flying fuck are you going to do with those?" he asked rudely as Soifon pulled the cork off the bottle with her teeth and emptied its contents onto the Jashinist's head. Soifon then lit a single match before using it to light up the rest of the matchbook. She then looked down at him with a look of contempt on her face before speaking.
"I was going to make your death quick... but when you spoke ill about Naruto like THAT... you crossed a non-negotiable line. For that mistake you'll suffer a slow agonizing death and maybe then you'll know not to curse people like that when you reach Hell."
Hidan's eyes widened at this as Soifon continued.
"Know this: being 'immortal' does not mean you're 'indestructible'. If I can destroy any part of your body, especially your head, then your immortality is useless. Remember this… AS YOU GO UP IN FLAMES!"
As a final coup de grace, she dropped the flaming matchbook on top of Hidan, and in an instance, he was now flaming and burning.
"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF BITCH TRASH!" he ranted as Soifon looked on, with a cold that would probably send chills down most people's spines.
Once Hidan's head had been burnt to the point that he was left unable to speak, which took a long while (the fire that Soifon used to burn Hidan was actually very weak, making the burning slow and painful for the Jashinist), Soifon left him to his fate, which would be a pile of ashes, before flash stepping to where Renji was.
Meanwhile…
As Soifon finished dealing with the "immortal", Renji was finishing up his fight with the "nigh invulnerable" Kakuzu. The destroyed and shattered bodies of what use to be Kakuzu's masks were on the ground, having been obliterated by Renji's bankai. Kakuzu was now looking worse for wear. His mask and hood were gone, revealing what he looked like underneath. His mouth was stitched together at the edges, giving it the appearance of a Glasgow smile, and he had long, dark brown hair that reached his shoulders and the back of his neck.
Renji, on the other hand, had suffered only a few scrapes and bruises and some minor burn marks on his cloak from the Fire mask. Zabimaru had now reverted back to its shikai form.
"I have to admit… you're a tough one. The last time I've been this badly beaten was when I fought the First Hokage. (he sighs) I may die today... BUT I'LL AT LEAST TAKE YOU WITH ME!" Kakuzu said as he suddenly sprouted several tendrils of black thread from his back, courtesy of his Earth Grudge Fear technique.
The tendrils thrust towards Renji, who responded by swinging Zabimaru. The sword expanded and cut through the tendrils, causing them to drop to the ground. Renji followed this up by swinging is zanpakuto at angle. It soon cut Kakuzu in half diagonally, starting at his right shoulder. Not taking any chances, he finished Kakuzu with another diagonal slash at his left shoulder, cutting through Kakuzu last remaining heart, killing the Akatsuki member instantly.
The remains of Kakuzu's corpse then collapsed to the ground in an unceremonious heap as Renji sheathed his zanpakuto.
"Consider your debt paid," he said as he walked off before Soifon appeared nearby him.
"So how did your fight go with that jackass?" Renji asked as they walked on.
"Short and simple: I cut off his head and then set it on fire. It should turn to ashes in a few minutes or so."
"That was… a bit much. It doesn't seem like your style at all, Captain Soifon."
"Well, he was stupid enough to go and badmouth Naruto."
"Oh... well in that case... he had it coming to him."
"Indeed... speaking of Naruto, I've just received a new message from him on my Soul Pager," Soifon said as she took a plain looking cell phone looking device, which had two charms that resembled a black cat and a bee attached to it.
"According to the message, the rendezvous point has been changed. We're going to meet up with him and the others in the hideout... located near the Great Naruto Bridge."
The look on Renji's face suddenly changed to a dumbfounded one mixed with an expression that read "Are you serious?"
"Wait… so the bridge is actually called the Great Naruto Bridge? It wasn't some sort of over exaggeration from Naruto?"
"That it's actual name. Anyways... did Kakuzu-chan put up any bit of a fight?"
"He went all out and used all of his masks, so I guess so. Didn't really do too much damage but, since I used my bankai to end the fight as quickly as possible, I guess it's only natural. Anyways, I guess it's time to go."
Soifon nodded before the two of them flash stepped away from the desert and started on their journey to the Land of Waves.
Next Time - Picking Up The Trail: Hidden Meanings