So I've finally finished this chapter. It's taken SO LONG but I really didn't want to finish the story; I'm quite proud of it. Thank you for sticking with it! I have very much enjoyed writing it and can't wait for the new series. A huge thank you to all the people who have read it and those who have reviewed it, I really appreciate it. As always, please let me know what you think if you can.

When you hear the guns fire, don't listen.

Daryl laid the now unconscious Essie on to the bed and Pete immediately began to cut away the drenched trouser leg. He peeled back the sodden cloth and revealed the gun shot wound, still bleeding.

"How long ago was she shot?" he asked without looking at Daryl.

"'Bout 2 hours." he replied, his tone belied his fear.

"There should have been a tourniquet put on this straight away. She's lost a lot of blood…she walked back on this leg?" he looked up and Daryl nodded. He placed his fingers on her wrist and counted; before he got to 20, Essie began to shake violently and her breathing became very quick and shallow.

"Shit! She's going into hypovolemic shock." Pete said as he ripped open her shirt and listened to her heart.

"What?" Daryl asked, confused.

"She's lost too much blood, her heart can't function properly! She's gonna need a transfusion and quick or she WILL die. What's her blood type?" Pete looked at Daryl who appeared frozen.

"Her blood type? What is it?" he shouted but Daryl couldn't answer. Rick and Carol entered.

"Oh my God." said Carol when she saw Essie who's lips were turning blue.

"What's her blood type?" Pete shouted as she began to convulse again.

"I don't know." Rick said and helped him keep Essie from shaking off the bed.

"I'm O type." said Carol, rolling up her sleeve.

Jessie entered and put her hand to her mouth as she saw what was happening.

"Prepare for a transfusion." Pete shouted and when she didn't move he shouted, "Now!" and she started to gather the equipment.

They worked quickly whilst Daryl stood against the wall, staring at Essie who was pale, sweating and blue. Carol sat on the chair next to Essie and didn't flinch when Pete inserted the needle in her arm.

Rick thought back to the first time he had met Hershel. How he had watched as the man who would become his friend worked so hard to save his son. He remembered Laurie's face as she watched Carl nearly die time and again. He remembered how the search for Sophia had got lost in the fight to save Carl and how much Carol had changed since that time. He also thought about how Daryl had refused to give up, how he had remained focussed, how he had nearly died trying to find the child of a woman with whom he had a connection with that went far beyond what any of the others understood. He watched as the blood travelled from Carol to Essie and then looked up at Daryl.

Essie took one unit of Carol's blood before she stabilised. Her lips were no longer blue but she was still deathly white and unconscious.

"Shouldn't she be awake by now?" asked Rick as he passed Carol a glass of orange juice and Jessie tightly bound her arm.

"She should." Pete opened Essie's eyes and checked her pupils, "Did she sustain a head injury? Is there anything else I should know?"

"She fought with Laura, in the woods." Rick said, "but she was standing when we got to her."

Pete began to examine Essie and felt her ribs, her abdomen and her neck; Daryl had not moved.

"The wound has stopped bleeding, she has cracked ribs, some serious bruising but nothing that I can see would cause her to remain unconscious." Pete checked her blood pressure again and shook his head.

Essie had heard what Deanna had said as they made their way through the gates. Even through the encroaching grey fog, the numbness of her leg, the memory of the fight and the relief of finding Caitlin, she had heard the words she had long expected. They mingled now with the other words that had confirmed her worst fears.

"You're a fucking murderer!"

"You're fucking right."

She felt so cold. She couldn't quite work out where she was; one moment she was shivering in the cellar of her aunt's house, then she was bolted to the floor in the warehouse, suddenly she was sitting with her legs dangling over the side of the half built dolls' house and then she was back in the forest.

It was getting dark in the clearing and the sounds of the dead were all around her but she couldn't see them yet. She looked down and saw she had no weapons, she was alone. Her hand began to shake as she knelt down and scrabbled in the undergrowth for a rock, a stick, anything she could use but there was nothing. She slowly stood up and turned although there was still nothing to see.

A scream, a child's scream, echoed through the trees and Essie ran towards it; she crashed through the tree line and that's when the walkers emerged. They were everywhere just like they had been when the converged on the wall but this time she couldn't see a way through. The screams became more and more desperate and she fought and fought but there were too many of them and she wasn't fast enough. She felt a walker land on her back and she went down on her knees.

The child screamed again but it was cut off by a gunshot. Luka appeared through the tide of walkers and knelt down in front of her.

"You will die screaming." he said and pressed a gun to her forehead; it wasn't cold, the barrel felt warm, like skin. She looked up and saw his finger slowly squeezing the trigger.

"Scream" he whispered but she closed her eyes and breathed out. A gunshot cracked through her head…

"Essie can't stay here."

Daryl saw her eyes flicker open and watched as she tried to move. Rick and Jessie stopped her feeble attempts and she closed her eyes again but at least she'd come back.

As Carol left the house, she was met with Glen, Maggie, Tobin and a few of the other townspeople; Caitlin and Finn were clinging to Glen and Maggie. They rushed over to her and began bombarding her until she held her hands up.

"It looks like she'll be ok but she's asleep so you can't see her just yet." Caitlin looked like she was about to argue and Finn began to cry but Glen picked him up and pulled the girl away towards the house explaining that they needed to get some rest now they knew Essie would be ok. Maggie watched him go and turned to face Carol.

"So what's the real story?" she asked, Carol sighed.

"She nearly died…again. She took a unit of my blood before she stabilised."

"You heard what Deanna said?" and Carol nodded.

"We can't let her exile Essie. We need her." Maggie looked at the sky as they began to walk.

"I know that but I also know these people are not ready to accept that what Essie does is vital to survival." Carol thought back to her actions at the prison and knew that it took a lot more than knowing you were doing the right thing to convince other people. She remembered Rick's face as he took her watch and let her go; even he couldn't always stomach the hard choices. Carol had long since come to the conclusion that women were better equipped to take the road less travelled; men might have fought the wars and run the governments but it was the women who had to deal with fallout of those things and saw life at the sharp end. Nothing had changed even with a woman in charge; Deanna was too used to working in a sphere of rules and enforceable social order to be able to see what needed to be done. Women were supposed to be the sentimental ones but in Carol's experience, sentiment was the downfall of men and Deanna was thinking like a man.

Maggie stared at Carol, apparently sensing defeat from the other woman.

"We need to rally support, talk to Deanna and make her see her decision is wrong." Maggie's voice was rising in desperation, Carol said nothing.

"Or maybe we could talk to Essie, get her to, I don't know, explain things to Deanna, reason with her!" Maggie kept looking at Carol who was still silent.

The light was too bright; Essie tried to raise her hand to shade her eyes but couldn't move. She turned her head and was relieved to see Jessie asleep in the chair next to the bed.

"JJ?" her voice came out as a cracked whisper but Jessie immediately sat up.

"Water…" she croaked and Jessie held the cup to her lips, she gratefully drank and then sank back onto the pillow.

"How bad is it?" Essie asked with her eyes closed, her friend smiled and sat back down.

"Pretty bad. You lost a lot of blood and went into shock…we thought we were going to lose you. You took a whole unit of Carol's blood." At this, Essie raised her eyebrows.

"Pete says you should recover but you have taken a battering over the past few months." Jessie continued.

"Who hasn't?" Essie said to herself and then raised her head sharply, "Caitlin?"

"She's fine. She's fine." Jessie gently pushed her back down. They were silent for a while.

"How long did Pete say it would take for me to be back on my feet?" Essie asked, drowsily.

"He didn't." Jessie said flatly, "This is going to take a while and you need to take that time or you will cause permanent damage." She could see Essie was falling asleep.

"It's always been permanent." Essie mumbled and then she was asleep.

Daryl lit another cigarette and slammed down the hood of the car he'd been working on. He'd gone to the garage as soon as he'd known Essie was going to make it; his clothes were still covered with her dried blood. He hadn't known what to do when her lips had gone blue or when Pete had asked her blood type; he'd stood helplessly by and watched, as other people had worked to save her life. Again, he hadn't been able to help her, to save her. An image of Essie dispassionately observing the walker ripping into the still screaming Laura flashed into his mind and he physically shook his head to get rid of it. He knew who and what Essie was and it didn't affect him but he knew what the others would think of it, what they would think of her. He stared at the car but didn't really see it; Deanna and the other townspeople wanted to exile Essie and he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't speak for her or lobby for support; he didn't know how to do any of those things. He turned as the door opened and Aaron walked in.

"Hey." he said, "I hear Essie is going to be ok." Daryl nodded and took another drag of his cigarette. Aaron looked very uncomfortable.

"Daryl…some of the others are voicing their fear about Essie. Lots of them saw what she did to the warehouse people…shooting that woman and then murdering Rhys right in front of them. They're scared." Aaron waited for the other man to say something and when he didn't he continued, "They support what Deanna said and they want her gone as soon as possible." He saw Daryl's fists flex.

"There are others who are being just as vocal in their support of Essie, including Reg but it looks like Deanna isn't going to change her mind…I thought you would want to know." Daryl was still silent so Aaron turned and left. Daryl picked up a wrench and threw it across the room.

Rick wearily walked into the house where the lights where still on. The others were sitting in the living room and looked up at him.

"She's not changing her mind." he said.

"This is bullshit." Abraham rubbed his hand over his face.

"There's nothing more we can do tonight. Maggie, talk to Deanna tomorrow, maybe you can get through to her." She nodded but they all seemed to recognise the futility of this.

The mornings were slowly getting lighter and the sunshine filtered weakly through the blinds of Essie's room. Pete checked her pulse and then peeled back the bandage on the leg wound; it was clean and had stopped bleeding. Essie had not opened her eyes but her breathing was regular and her colour wasn't that of pauper's porridge. Pete left; satisfied she wasn't going to die.

Running her hands through her hair, Maggie sighed in frustration. She had been trying to persuade Deanna and the other townspeople that Essie needed to stay but they were completely intransigent; Reg squeezed her shoulder but defeat was etched on his face. She walked out onto the porch and saw Rick and Glen.

"What did they say?" but she just shook her head.

Rick put his hands on his hips and stared into the distance. He knew, he absolutely knew that this safe haven needed to be defended and Essie was perfect in that situation but he also knew that Deanna and most of the others were too stupid or blind to see that. He also knew that if he offered the ultimatum that if Essie was exiled, he and his group would leave…well, they would out on the road again. He was going to have to sacrifice her.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Essie tested her injured leg by gently placing her foot on the cold floor. Instantly, the pain iced its way up and made her gasp. Her hands relaxed their grip on the sheets as the pain subsided, only to clutch at them again when she foolishly twisted and pulled at her cracked ribs. She was a broken mess. She looked up as Carol came in holding a tray, which she nearly dropped at the sight of Essie.

"I can't believe you're awake." Carol said setting the tray to one side as she held the blankets up so Essie could lie back down.

"Neither can I." said Essie, wincing.

"How are you feeling?" Carol stared at her closely.

"Sore. Weak…Angry." Essie pressed the bruises on her arm; Carol remained quiet waiting for her to carry on.

"I am so angry. I hate this whole, shitty existence. I've had enough. It was manageable when it was just Lawrence and I but now…I've had enough."

"You know Deanna wants to exile you because of what you did in the town?" Carol could not meet her eye as she asked this, Essie nodded.

"I heard what she said as I was bleeding out after saving this town…again."

"You know…you didn't save it all by yourself?" Carol asked with a small smile but Essie remained stonefaced.

"I know I didn't do it by myself." Essie took a deep breath, "…which is why I feel ok about leaving Caitlin and Finn here." Carol began to say something but Essie held up her hand and continued.

"I know what will happen. I know what is happening right now…Maggie and the others will be out there, arguing my case and it's not that I'm ungrateful but the more you argue against Deanna's decisions, the weaker your position gets. Your group needs to be here, now more than ever." Carol raised her eyebrows questioningly and finally Essie looked at her.

"Something big is coming. I don't know what it is but it's coming and it will be unlike anything you've come across before. To keep this place safe…you're going to have to do unimaginable things. Deanna can't do it; she won't do it…but you? And Rick and Daryl and the others? You've come close to it. You know what it takes to survive. You are the only ones who can keep this place what it is. If it takes exiling me to make that happen I will do it, and willingly. Just…just promise me something?" Carol wiped her tears away and nodded.

"Please keep Caitlin and Finn safe for as long you can. Don't be their mother, don't be their friend, be their protector. Please?" Essie's eyes were wide and pleading.

"Of course." said Carol, "of course."

"Thank you."

The two women were quiet for a while, listening to wind creaking through the town outside of the silent and shadowed room.

"What about him?" asked Carol.

"He stays." answered Essie firmly although her heart was quietly breaking.

"He won't let you go, you know that don't you?"

"I know."

"He will follow you to the ends of the earth and beyond. Where you go, he goes."

"I know. But he has to stay here, you are his family and he stays with you."

"You can't do this to him!" Carol stared at Essie.

"You think this is a one way street? You think that I'm going to walk away and not feel anything?" Her voice was breaking and Carol took a step back at the pain in her eyes.

"I know what I am, you know?" Essie continued quietly, "It's been with me all my life and it doesn't scare me anymore, not much scares me anymore…not even leaving this place. The only thing that scares me is how I feel about him. I guess you know him well, better than I do, so you know how he feels but, as I've said before, you don't know me."

Carol managed to smile.

"How I feel about him changes all the books and poems I know, the songs you would hear over and over again. The ones that talk of love as a visceral pain that can rip through you – those are the ones that are true. Even if we were safe, living before all this, I think I would have lived in fear that I would lose him. It's almost too much to hold in one person…and I never knew it would be like this. But it won't kill me and that is almost a cheat because it feels like it SHOULD. I feel like a wrecked ship, broken and listing but still afloat…for now but I'm sinking…God, I'm sinking…." and she began to cry, silently, her whole body shaking. Carol put her arms around her and rocked her like a child until it slowly stopped.

"I didn't know." said Carol, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realise."

"I have to go…soon." said Essie, rubbing her hands roughly over her face.

"How will you do that?"

"Can you get a supply bag ready for me? I'm going to wait until dark and then leave."

"On foot?" Carol nearly shouted this in disbelief.

"No, I'm going to steal a car." said Essie, simply.

"Where will you go?" Essie surprised Carol by smiling suddenly.

"I think I'm going to head west. I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon."

"That's 2000 miles away, across a country you don't know!" Carol could not believe this.

"I'm going to put my back to the sea or maybe I'll explore what the desert has to offer. I might even try to get back to England. I don't know." Essie looked at Carol who was staring back at her.

"But you can't go tonight. You can't even walk." Carol desperately tried to think of things to say to make Essie stay just a little longer.

"If I stay, I won't be able to leave. Do me one more favour? I can't see him or the children, keep them away from me. Tell them I'm still out or that Pete has forbidden it…anything…just keep them away. Please?" It was only after Carol agreed to this that Essie relaxed into her decision.

The sky blackened as Carol helped Essie out to a nearby car. The town was quiet with a few lamps, like friendly eyes, spreading meagre warmth into the darkness. Essie had taken heavy duty painkillers and could just about stand to hobble on her own. She gritted her teeth and rolled the car to the gates that Carol opened, all without seeing anyone. She angled herself into the car and patted the overstuffed and heavy bag Carol had given her.

"Thank you." she said.

"I…I had a daughter…Sophia. She got lost and…I didn't find her in time. Her father, my husband, Ed…he beat me…everyday. I wasn't strong enough to fight back." Carol looked at Essie.

"And now?"

"And now I would stick a knife into his skull without a single regret." Carol smiled and Essie let out a rueful laugh.

"You know? I always said you and I should sit down one day and have a chat. But…I don't think we need to say another word to each other." Carol nodded as Essie turned the key in the ignition and slammed the door. She watched until the taillights faded into the blackness and then closed the gates. She walked slowly back to the house where everyone would be just about to sit down and eat. She stopped on the porch, sat on the top step and cried silently.

Essie lit a cigarette and watched the car headlights eat away at the road markings until dawn. She stopped and got out just as the sky was turning from grey to pink; in the distance she thought she spotted a figure in a red poncho, way off, making their way through the wood. She didn't call out, it wasn't anyone she wanted to be with. A desperate soul had scrawled Judgement Day on a road sign but she knew that day had come and gone. She was now just waiting for the Rapture.

"Tonight I can write the saddest line

I loved her and sometimes she loved me too..."

Pablo Neruda