182. I may not have a private army.

183. Even if it technically belongs to someone else.

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"Oh Harry…" Draco trailed off, gray eyes shining with tears. He stood, torn between fascination and horror, staring at the boy before him. Harry ignored the blond, not even bothering to turn his head in acknowledgement. Bewildered, upset, Draco turned to the man beside him. "How did this happen?"

Lucius Malfoy stroked his staff…affectionately, and shook his head. "I have absolutely no idea, Draco."

"Kill HIM! KILL him! I said KILL HIM!"

Wormtail wrung his hand anxiously. "My Lord?"

"Damn it Wormtail!" Voldemort threw the controller in his hand down in disgust. "You threw off my groove! How can I defeat Gnasty Gnorc if you throw off my groove! Crucio!"

"Stop it Voldemort!" Harry gave the Dark Lord an irritated look before turning back to the screen before him. "Just because you died doesn't mean I have to!" Voldemort's eyes gleamed for a moment. "Blood oath," Harry reminded him calmly, smirking as the older man scowled and sighed.

"My Lord?" Walden Macnair approached cautiously. "Mr. Potter? What is all this stuff?"

"Yeah Harry," Draco chimed in, perching on the edge of the brunette's chair. "How did you charm a purple dinosaur to stay in that box?"

"I didn't charm him," Harry patiently explained. "That's Spyro. He's on a quest to defeat Gnasty Gnorc and reclaim all the jewels and dinosaur eggs that were stolen from his kingdom." He smiled as he rested his head against Draco's side. "I'm trying to convince Voldemort here that Muggles aren't all bad, and those," he gestured behind him, "didn't quite do the trick."

"And what," Lucius asked scornfully, pointing his staff at the pile of discarded lumps of plastic sitting innocuously on the table, "are those?"

"Well that," he pointed, "is an Atari Games system. Voldemort really liked Xybots until, well…"

"Until I realized we were trying to STOP the robots!"

Mulciber looked intrigued. "Robots? Is that what they were?" He turned to his surrounding Death Eaters. "I was watching them play and I thought they were Inferi."

"Not quite." Harry looked slightly alarmed by the speculative look on the Dark Lord's face. "And he liked it well enough until he realized we were trying to stop the robots that were hunting humans."

"Ahh," the Death Eaters nodded in understanding; glaring at the offending machine in betrayal.

"And that?"

"That's a Gameboy." Harry brightened. "I tried to teach him Tetris, but he became discouraged when he couldn't complete as many levels as I did."

"I was not discouraged." Voldemort spoke from between clenched teeth. "I simply became frustrated by the monotony of the actions and wished to play something else."

Harry smirked. "Oh, of course. Please excuse me."

"And that?" Lucius swept his staff commandingly to the side, indicating the last discarded item.

Voldemort sulked. "The green one hated me and I couldn't even torture him properly!"

"The green one?" Macnair eyed the gray machine in confusion.

"Yoshi," Draco supplied helpfully. He flushed under the look of disapproval his father sent him.

"That's an N64," Harry swiftly interjected. "He thought Yoshi was banal and King Kupa was misunderstood." He shook his head, before reaching in front of him and patting the newest machine lovingly. "But this, this is a Sony Playstation."

Wormtail looked confused. "I thought you said it was a Spyro?"

"Nope, that's simply a game." He picked up a red case and sighed. "Voldemort didn't like Frogger 2; because the objective was to rescue the frogs instead of kill them. But Spyro," he smiled at the machine again. "Spyro gets to fly around and collect jewels and is revered by the masses." He snorted. "Can you see the basis of its appeal?"

"How did you get all these?" Wormtail asked curiously. "I thought the Muggles who raised you hated you."

"Oh they do," Harry reassured, glaring darkly at the ex Marauder. "But they spoiled Dudley. He got all the newest games and toys. Once he broke them, they were put in my room. Fred and George found most of them when they sprung me back in second year and fixed them up for me." He leaned over, fiddling with a button on the boom box next to him. Seconds later, the opening strains of 'Down In A Hole' by Alice In Chains reverberated around the room. Harry smiled at the startled Death Eaters. "This is a compilation CD I stole from Piers. I like to think of it as my theme music."

Voldemort poked at the music box irritably with his wand. "Play the one I like." Harry sighed, hitting the next button until 'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam could be heard. Voldemort smiled, bobbing his head in time with the beats and singing along. "… King Jeremy the wicked ruled his world…" He grinned evilly. "Now that's what I call music."

"And this?" Macnair was laughing as he reached into the box the games had been brought over in. Harry and Draco flushed a deep scarlet. Macnair waved the paddle in his hand, giggling with mirth. "What game is this?"

Draco glared at Harry, unimpressed as green eyes closed in mortification. "Sorry," Harry whispered contritely. "I must have put that away in the wrong box of toys."

Lucius looked suspiciously between his son and the Boy Who Lived. "And why," he asked icily, "would that thing be considered a toy?"

Harry eyed the way Lucius was stroking the top of his staff and coughed out something sounding like "pimp cane." Draco glared.

"My Lord?" Macnair looked at Voldemort, trying to gain his attention so the meeting could progress.

The Dark Lord, however, was attempting to navigate around Gnorc Cove while singing along to 'Head Like A Hole' by Nine Inch Nails. "Bow down before the one you serve…"

Macnair sighed, shaking his head in resignation, and turned back to the arguing boys. "Mr. Potter? Mr. Malfoy?"

"Draco!" Lucius barked out, waving his staff threateningly.

Harry shrunk back. "Keep your pimp cane away from me you perv!"

Mulciber snickered, turning to Macnair. "Pimp cane?"

"What is this?" Voldemort looked disgusted as he gestured to the boom box.

"Err…" Harry flushed as he recognized 'Mmm Bop' by Hanson.

"I like it," Wormtail smiled as he bopped along to the beat.

A funny look crossed Voldemort's face as 'I Can't make You Love Me' by Bonnie Raitt played. He ignored his Death Eaters and fighting visitors. "That's all I ever really wanted," he sniffed. Harry gave him an odd look. "I wanted to be accepted and loved. But, just like she says, I can't make you love me, if you won't."

"My Lord?" Lucius looked alarmed by the damp eyed Dark Lord.

"You really think we can work together?"

"Definitely!" Harry nodded enthusiastically. Voldemort looked thoughtful. "And," Harry swiftly added, "I've heard they're already in production for a Playstation Two!" He patted Voldemort's arm. "You wouldn't want to kill the Muggles before it was completed would you?"

"I wouldn't have to be nice, would I?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just a bit patronizing from time to time," Draco supplied hastily.

Harry smiled. "But you would have to stop killing Muggles, torturing Half Bloods, and using the word Mudblood." Voldemort frowned. "In public, at least."

"…you need a holiday!" Madonna warbled in the background.

"You can use a whip as long as you pass it off as a toy," Draco offered. Harry shivered, remembering that Hermione had let the blond borrow hers.

"We'll try it," Voldemort sighed at last. "On a temporary basis," he shouted over Draco and Harry's cheers. "If I don't like playing…nice," he spat out the word, "then I reserve the right to kill you."

"Of course!" Harry agreed cheerfully. He grabbed Draco's hand, pulling the blond to his feet as he strode towards the exit. "Come to the protest with us! We can introduce everyone to my new army, talk to the press, and undermine Dumbledore in one swoop!"

"My Lord, do you realize what you've agreed to?" Wormtail asked in shock.

"So I'm back up in the game, running things like half my swing…letting all the people know, that I'm back to run the show!" Harry grinned to himself, rubbing his hands together as he grooved along to Return of The Mac. "I've always wanted my own army."

Draco gave him a disgusted look. "Your horde of obsessed groupies not enough for you anymore, Potter?"

Their Portkey landed them amidst utter chaos. The students were still chained together, the Hufflepuffs had moved on to a passionate harmony of Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones, more and more parents were arriving, and McGonagall had abandoned Dumbledore to help Pansy and a still handcuffed Luna run the pastry booth. Hermione noticed them first and hurried over with a pleased yet startled expression on her face.

"You're one to talk!" an irate parent screamed in the background; straining forward as she tried to hit Dumbledore with her THE END IS NIGH! Protest sign. "Who do you think you are to deny educational reform you, you… you BOB!"

"Well," Dean offered, surveying the scene with amusement as he joined Harry and Draco. They watched with slight fascination as Hermione and Voldemort posed for pictures of them shaking hands in front of slightly terrified looking reporters. "Talk about the 'power the Dark Lord knows not…' a blond with a pimp cane, a Muggle born with a whip, and the ability to make parents want to beam the most revered wizard in decades over the head with a protest sign." He slapped Harry on the back affectionately. "Well done mate."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and sulked. "Look at her," he complained, jerking his head in the direction of where Hermione, still flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, was organizing the Death Eaters that had arrived with them to where she wanted. Professor McGonagall was yelling at one of them over some unfinished homework from last year, others were joining the chained students, and still others were talking to the press about how the children were the future. "That should be my private army. Why does she get all the glory?"

"Because she's scary when she has a cause?" Neville offered helpfully.

"Because you're the hero," Lavender patiently explained. "Hero's just don't do wild militias."

"Because I have the whip," Draco calmly interrupted; gray eyes gleaming. Harry's head snapped around. "And while Granger has the press distracted, no one will be looking for you." Having said his piece, he turned and sauntered back towards the castle. Harry close on his heels.

Seamus rubbed his hands together as he watched the scene unfold. "Viva le resistance."