Chapter 25~ Leaving Rosings - And Other Things - Behind

How long he sat there under the tree he did not know. When he decided to return to the house he estimated it to be about ten in the morning.

The Park was peaceful and pleasant but none of this lifted Darcy's mood. Soon, the facade of Rosings was seen through the trees. On the steps was a familiar figure.

When he arrived at the top of the stairs, he did not bid Colonel Fitzwilliam a good morning but moved as if to walk past him.

"Where on earth have you been, Darcy?" inquired the Colonel, "We woke up to find that were gone. I assumed a walk in the Park but at such an early hour? and for so long?"

"We're leaving," said Darcy without looking at his cousin.

"I beg your pardon? Today?"

"Yes, as soon as possible."

"Patience, we are already leaving tomorrow." Fitzwilliam looked at Darcy strangely. "What is the rush? You have delayed our departure twice already and now all of a sudden you want to leave as soon as possible?"

Darcy glared at his cousin, but finally conceded that as they were leaving on Saturday anyway, he'd might as well wait.

The two gentlemen went to see their aunt and cousin, who were sitting in the drawing-room.

"Good morning, Aunt, cousin," said the Colonel gaily. Darcy said not a word but got a cup of tea and went to stare out of the window.

Tomorrow he would leave Kent and Elizabeth behind. It was more than possible that they would never see each other again. He had not wish to and he imagined she felt the same way.

Darcy knew he could never love anyone else. Elizabeth had captured his heart so completely that could never get it back. He knew that he could not force himself to marry without love and it would fall to Georgiana to produce an heir for Pemberley.

But what about the things Elizabeth told him - to his face? What should he do about that? Forget them and get on with his life?

"We shall be quite desolate without you, Darcy - Anne especially," said Lady Catherine to him.

Darcy ignored that remark and merely said, "We shall return next year, Aunt."

There was a silence until Colonel Fitzwilliam said, "I think we should say farewell to the Collinses and Miss Bennet before we leave. What say you, Darcy?"

His heart froze for a moment. He wanted to see her one last time before he left - but he did not want to face her either.

Despite Lady Catherine's protests, Colonel Fitzwilliam got up and began walking to the hall.

"I am going - are you coming with me?"

With a sudden decision, Darcy joined his cousin.

They walked slowly, partly because the Colonel found it such a beautiful day, partly because Darcy was reluctant to go.

His cousin frequently shot him curious looks. Finally he asked, "Is there something troubling you, cousin?"

He looked up to see Fitzwilliam's concerned face.

"Why do you ask?"

"You seem preoccupied, and there are several rather strange aspects of your behaviour lately. Every morning this visit you go for a walk in the Park, you disappeared last evening and now after delaying our trip to London twice you are suddenly very eager to go there. Can you blame me for having suspicions that all is not well with you?"

Irritated, Darcy replied, "It is of no concern of yours. I am perfectly well!"

The Colonel looked at him with a knowing look and they continued to Hunsford in silence.

Mr. Collins either had a sixth sense or a very good view of the path for he and his wife and sister-in-law were waiting for them just outside.

"My dear sirs, you honour us with your visit," said the clergyman, bowing deeply.

The two women at his side curtsied almost as deeply as he did.

"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Collins, Miss Lucas," said Colonel Fitzwilliam. He looked around. "Where is Miss Bennet?"

"She left early this morning to take a turn about the Park," said Mrs. Collins, "She looked rather pale when she came down for breakfast and said the fresh air would do her good."

Darcy said nothing. He knew that it was yesterday's event was the reason for her pale face.

"Is she well?" asked Colonel Fitzwilliam anxiously.

"I don't know - she has not come back yet and it has been an hour at least," said Miss Lucas.

"We had come to take our leave of you as we are to leave tomorrow morning," said Fitzwilliam.

"We shall be quite desolate without you, my dear sirs," said Mr. Collins with another bow.

Not even the man's humourous attempts at imitating his patroness could bring a smile to Darcy's face.

"If you will excuse me, I shall return home," said Darcy. "Sir, madam, I take my leave."

He bowed and turned to his cousin with an inquiring look.

"Ah, no. I think I shall wait a while . . . " replied he. Mr. Collins nearly fell over the chance to spend more time with one of the noble Lady Catherine de Bourgh's nephews.

Darcy shrugged and left. He was glad and yet regretful that he had not seen her.

As soon as he arrived, he went to his chamber and locked the door.

Leaving his Aunt and cousin behind was a relief - but though he knew he was doing to right thing leaving Elizabeth, he did so with a heavy heart.

He held his head in his hands, willing the tears not to come. He had not slept the entire night. The desk had bee cleaned and the candle replaced. It seemed as if last night's torture had never happened.

Finally, fully clothed as he was, he sat in the padded armchair and went to sleep.

His sleep was fitful and he soon awoke. It was about an hour later when he exited the room to join the others downstairs for their last lunch in Kent.

As he walked down the stairs, he saw his cousin just entering the door. Fitzwilliam sighed.

"I waited for almost an hour but I did not see Miss Bennet," he said. "I am quite worried and I would go out in search of her if I did not know that she knows these woods almost as well as I."

"Is she all right?" asked Darcy anxiously.

"I am sure she is. She is a very independent lady. Whoever her husband will be is in for a very eventful life."

Darcy looked at his cousin who looked at him significantly.

"I would not know," replied Darcy.

They left early the next morning. Lady Catherine had insisted upon Darcy kissing Anne's hand in farewell. He did so without protest so that they could leave as soon as possible.

As the carriage pulled away, Colonel Fitzwilliam sitting opposite him laughed at the sight of Mr. Collins deeply bowing beside the road.

"Ridiculous little man! When will he grow a spine of his own?"

Darcy did not answer but stared out the window. The Colonel sighed and looked wistfully at a group walking to Rosings.

"And I did not even get to say farewell to Miss Elizabeth Bennet," said he. "I must say this has been the best visit to Rosings we have ever had. Do you not agree?"

Darcy stared after the group and didn't answer. Elizabeth was walking at the back. She turned and glanced at the carriage. He could not tell if she had seen him.

Either way it did not matter.

"Darcy, are you all right?" asked the Colonel. He was staring at his face.

Darcy was suddenly aware of a wetness on his cheek. He angrily wiped away the offending tear and said to his cousin,

"I am perfectly well."

Colonel Fitzwilliam silently shook his head.

"There is something wrong cousin," he said seriously. "I want to help. I will be there for you but if you do not confide in me then I cannot help you."

I don't need - or want - your help.

The rest of the journey was silent.

Just forced myself to watch the BBC series and checked in with my mother. Once I had watched it, I realized that I have actually watched the entirety of it, probably at least a few years ago. My mother confirmed with me that she had shown it to me when I was young. I also realized after watching it that this story is based off the BBC series. Although I didn't recall watching it, I must have unconsciously based this book off of it. I'm sorry for the confusion, the false claim, and the accusations- I know it must have been extremely frustrating.