A/N: Just an FYI, this is NOT a clone wars parody, just a Star Wars parody. And it's only what I can vaguely remember having not watched it in years. So it'll be something like:

"Ow, you just cut off my hand!"

"Who cares, because I am your father!"

"What? NOOOOOOO!"

Yeah. So, why don't you read the actual story now?

I own nothing except Fabyo, Andy of the Alpacas, and the Smiefs (They're basically red Smurfs. Long story for another time.)

There was once a young blond boy who lived on some desert planet with some random couple. This boy dreamed of being a detective and harnessing the power of the force to rob candy stores across the galaxy. He went by many names, but most people knew him as that-gay-asshole-who-desperately-needs-anger-management-classes.

But to make things easier, we'll just call him Mello.

One day, Mello and that old dude he lives with went out to buy a nerd from some stubby looking aliens. They found a tall gold guy and some red-headed dude that were a good price (*cough*dirt cheap *cough*). However, the red-head seemed totally useless, so the gold guy started to try and convince Mello to buy him.

"I promise, good sir, that he is a fine worker. Isn't that right, Matt?" the gold guy asked, turning to the other nerd.

"Shut up, tin man, I've almost reached the level cap," he responded, not looking up from his game station.

And since Mello had anger management problems, he randomly ripped the gold guy to shreds and dragged Matt home without bothering to pay.

While in Mello's bedroom, the blond decided to start a conversation. Because he's civilized like that. "So… do you crap in a litter box, toilet, or outside?" he asked Matt nonchalantly.

"None of those. I am a nerd, so I have no need for food, and thus, I do not produce 'crap'."

"Sweet, that means no chores for me," Mello grinned. Suddenly, the chorus of the original Pokémon theme song started playing. "AAAAHHHHH!" Mello shrieked in a very feminine manner. "What the hell is that?"

Matt pulled a device from his pocket. "Chill dude, it's just my cell phone. Hey, I got a new video message from the princess."

The boys watched as an albino kid appeared on screen and began to speak.

"Help me, Matsuda-san, you're my only hope." He said.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Looks like he texted the wrong number again."

"Who's Matsuda?" Mello asked.

"Oh just some creepy old guy who lives around here and likes to kidnap children. You wanna go meet him?"

"Um, YEAH!" Mello responded excitedly. "Let's go!"

#Later, somewhere in the desert#

"YO, MATSUDA!" Matt yelled.

Matsuda then appeared in a cloud of smoke with a taco in his hand. "Yo," he greeted.

"This is Mello," Matt gestured to the blond. "Now take us to Near `cuz he's in danger or something."

"Oh, uh, sure," Matsuda responded while pulling out a script. "Luke, er, Mello! Your father was a detective who could use the force and stuff. Here's a magic sword type thing." Matsuda handed him a lightsaber. "Now follow me to the really lazy time skip!"

However, before they could reach the really lazy time skip, Mello started whimpering. "Ow, the sword burned my tongue!"

Matt facepalmed. "Dude, you're not supposed to lick it! Gimme that, you can fight with these fuzzy dice instead."

"Ooh, they're fluffy!"

#One really lazy time skip later#

Our heroes had appeared in a bar because they can't just time skip to their destination and bars are the perfect place to find people like taxi and bus drivers.

After scanning the crowd, Mello's eyes lit up. "What about him?" he asked while pointing to some guy with red eyes who was brutally stabbing someone's dead carcass with a steak knife.

Matsuda smiled. "Sure, he looks like a perfectly safe escort." They all approached the serial killer.

"What's up?" Matt greeted.

The man dropped the dead carcass and looked them each in the eye. "Hello there. My name is Beyond Birthday. Do any of you want to die?"

"No thanks," Matsuda responded. "But would you mind flying us to the Death Sphere to save the princess?"

"Sure, but it'll cost you, and you have to let me bring my hairy sidekick."

"Here's a jar of jam." Matsuda handed him the jar and BB's eyes were replaced with little hearts. "So where's the wookie?"

"Oh, I don't have a wookie," BB smiled. "I have a legion of Vikings."

Matt, Mello, and Matsuda looked behind BB to see 23 vikings pillaging the bar and getting drunk.

"How did we miss that?" Matt wondered. "And why does that Viking have such smooth legs?"

BB grimaced. "Oh, that's Fabyo, he's new."

"Well how did he pass the test you take in order to actually become a Viking?"

Fabyo looked at them and struck a pose. "Because I'm fabulous, Darling! They call me Fabyo the Fabulous around here, and these are my not-nearly-as-fabulous-as-I-am hairy followers!"

Everyone else in the room stopped what they were doing at stared at Fabyo. Their left eyes twitched three times before he was covered in violent, bloodthirsty alpacas.

BB smirked. "Thanks for that, Andy of the Alpacas."

Andy nodded and directed us toward another lazy time skip.

#ANOTHER really lazy time skip later#

The four men and the legion of Vikings had arrived at the Death Sphere, done some stuff, found Near, and were now covered in garbage for some reason (A/N: this is where I start forgetting). Suddenly, by the power of cupcakes, they were in a hall or something in the Death Sphere along with a guy in a black cloak and a weird mask.

Matsuda gasped. "Darth-Kira! At last, we meet again, and now, I shall destroy you!" He brought out a lightsaber and charged.

Darth-Kira took out a piece of notebook paper, scribbled something on it, and in moments, Matsuda had disappeared.

Near gasped. "he must've written his name in the Death Note!"

Darth-Kira chuckled. "No, I wrote Britney Spears's name in the Death Note, and Matsuda's only purpose for living is to worship her; So once she dies, he does too!"

"Wow…" Mello drawled sarcastically. "I really don't care, but I'll kill you with my fuzzy dice anyway!"

Matt held him back. "No, you must first train with a Smurf."

"… Really?"

"Yes. NOW GO!" Mello was then teleported to a Smurf village where his anger management problems kicked in and he began destroying everything. The Smurf's neighbors, the Smiefs, just laughed, before their entire village was destroyed by kittens. Cute and cuddly kittens with little bows in their fur. How degrading.

Suddenly, it was some amount of time later and Mello teleported back to the Death Sphere to confront Darth-Kira.

"Darth-Kira, I don't really have anything against you since I don't care about Matsuda or Britney Spears, but I do have anger management problems and fuzzy dice, so prepare to be die… of humiliation when I beat you in a game of rock paper scissors!" Mello challenged, being totally serious.

Dart-Kira laughed as maniacally as one can after being challenged to a children's game. "I accept your challenge, but it is YOU who shall die of embarrassment!"

They readied themselves and in unison, yelled:

"Rock…

Paper…

Scissors…

SHOOT!"

Mello had played paper, because that's what his chocolate bars were wrapped in, and Darth-Kira had played scissors so he would win. He then proceeded to cut off Mello's hand with his finger-scissor-things.

Mello just stared at where his hand used to be with his mouth wide open in shock. "Oh and by the way," Darth-Kira said, "Apparently, I'm your father. Now excuse me while I go die and save the universe."

And he did save the universe. It ended in his honorable death and he had deep reasons for doing so, but we're not going to go into that because it's boring, unlike Mello's fuzzy dice which he didn't really have use for.

And that, kids, is where babies come from.

A/N: So there you have it! I hope you liked my parody of the last 3 movies~

Oh, and by the way, I want to make a chapter about 100 ways to kill a gummy bear besides eating it. I have around 30 ways right now, so if anyone has an idea, leave it in a review!