Chapter 25 - Change

That evening at Folsom Lake, their tenderness in the rain, had brought Harry and Nelly closer together. It made him understand her better, it made her trust him more. Despite Nelly's anxiety and cautiousness, it was hard work keeping her hands off Harry. The opportunities to exercise her self-control were plentiful. It didn't take much, really. It would be enough to sit down next to him at lunch, their thighs touching under the table, or the way Harry put his arm around Nel when he'd drive home after school in his pick-up. It was the hungry look in his eyes as they met hers across a classroom, or a sly little smile he'd give her just before they kissed. Any little thing Harry did would send a shiver down Nelly's spine and feed the little flame inside her. But best of all was going to drive-in movies, whether it was just the two of them or they went with Jax and Tara. Nelly could feel Harry holding back if they were out with their friends, painfully aware of their company. Harry's best friend and his girl had been together for so long and had such a messed up relationship, that they hardly ever made out at the movies. But for Harry and Nelly, it was all brand new, and they lost themselves in the heat. It would always start innocently enough. They would hold hands, then Harry would pull her closer or she'd lean into him while his arms encircled her. On cool evenings, they'd cuddle under a blanket and, after a while, both would loose interest in the movie. Kisses would be exchanged, first small and accidental, then more persistent and drawn out. Hands would sneak under clothing, each touch begging for another. They would drive each other to the brink of their restraint, but no further. Somehow, whether by Nel shying away or Harry pulling back, they'd always manage to stop before they completely lost their heads. In a way, this teasing was agonising and cruel to Nel and Harry alike, but it was made bearable by sweet promise of things to come.

Harry told Nel often that since he returned to Charming, everything in his life was settling just the way he wished, and that he believed it was all because of her. It pleased her to no end that he thought so, because with every passing day, she was falling deeper in love with Harry. It seemed there was no end to this up-swing they were on. One Sunday afternoon in early March, about three months before his seventeenth birthday, Harry pulled Nel excitedly to the garage on the side of his house. Then he introduced her to an old beat-up bike, half taken apart, its parts lying on the tarp spread under it.

"An early birthday gift from my dad. I'm rebuilding it." He beamed proudly, as he caressed a rusted fender. "It'll be mine to ride when I'm done."
One step closer, thought Nelly with mixed feelings, but she couldn't help being happy for him. She knew how much having a bike meant to him, how he waited for it. And Piney didn't make it easy for his son – the bike seemed like an ancient wreck, but apparently, that was its appeal. Nelly spent a countless afternoons lounging in front of the garage in a beach chair with a book, while Harry worked on the bike skeleton and gave her frequent updates on the progress of his labour of love.

Jax would come by sometimes to help Harry work on the bike. Nelly, while motionless and practically invisible, was not out of earshot and would often hear snippets of their conversations. Jax was becoming more serious about the club and about its purpose. Since his father's death, he became more entrenched in SAMCRO philosophy, became more of a protector and enforcer at school, like he was trying to prove something and honour his father's memory. Harry's mind was on Nel and his bike, and he didn't seem as committed, but Jax was still his brother and Harry did whatever he could to always have his back. Nelly was aware that the conflict between SOA boys and the Rednecks escalated. Sure, there was bad blood between them, made worse by what happened at the dance, but there were good reasons for it. The Rednecks were relentless in picking on Cliff and other weaker kids, in their brutal ways with the girls who wouldn't return their attention. As long as they saw what was happening, Jax and Harry would not stand by and let it happen. Inevitably, they got in trouble more often, because the shit-disturbers banked on their bad-boy biker reputation. More often than not, Jax and Harry ended up being blamed for starting the trouble, more so than being acknowledged for trying to intervene and prevent it. They were frequent guests in the Principal Rush's office, whose patience and tolerance met its end, and he would send the boys to a counsellor to discuss their "family issues at the root of their acting out". Nelly felt a strong sense of injustice at the blame her friends were getting for all the wrong reasons. Jax's and Harry's lives weren't simple or conventional, but that didn't turn them into bullies – if anything, whatever hardship they lived through, made them into better people. Principal Rush's misguided attention only fuelled their desire to become part of SAMCRO and to practice their own brand of justice.

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It was the first day of spring and the school grounds had finally began coming up in lush green. Nelly and Harry were walking out of the school front door, with Jax and Tara right behind them. They were already making plans for the weekend, a hike at Folsom Lake, when they've noticed a gathering on a large roundabout in front of the school. Standing on top of the stairs, they had a good view of Cliff getting beaten up by Alex and Brett. It was bad enough that their friend was getting hurt again, but this clearly was a set up, bait for Harry and Jax. This time, the Rednecks had a large audience, which seemed to cheer on and encourage them. With only a fleeting glance between them, Harry and Jax ran down the steps and pushed their way through the gathered crowd, stepped into the circle where Cliffy was being played with like a mouse. Without exchanging a word, Nelly and Tara followed. They got there just in time to see Jax push Cliff in their direction and out of the centre of the fight.

"Get out of here, Cliffy," Jax told him, his voice tense but steady. He squared off against Alex, and Harry againt Brett.

This is when all of them saw Alex pull out a hunting knife. Nelly's heart froze, like it was immersed in a block of ice. Fear was constricting her lungs, making her breaths quick and shallow. She reached out to Cliff and pulled him by his arm, trying to get him out of the way, but he was undeterred and she let go.

"Just leave it alone, Jax," he pleaded, but didn't move away, "They'll get us all in trouble."

"It's our problem now," Jax said quickly, then added sharply, "Go."

Alex gave Jax a nasty smile as he twirled the knife in his hand, "Not so brave now, are you, Teller?"

"You should put away that knife before someone gets hurt."

"That's the idea, biker boy."

"Don't be a dumb-ass." Jax's eyes narrowed dangerously. "We can settle it with our fists."

David Hale stepped up to the front of the circle, "Listen to Teller, Alex. This is assault with a weapon and you'll end up in juvie."

"Mind your own business, Baby Hale," spat Alex without taking off his eyes from Jax.

Hale gave the Redneck a hard look, but backed down as he told them, "I'm calling the cops!"

"Enough of this bullshit," grunted Brett as he lunged at Harry. He was unarmed, but looked powerful and dangerous. His fists aimed at Harry's head, but Nel's boyfriend dodged the blow easily and instead attacked Brett from behind.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Alex launched at Jax with a knife. Just as the long, curved blade was making its way in Jax's direction, Cliffy stepped in front of it. The knife sunk into his chest. He staggered backwards into Jax, who caught him, and the two boys fell to their knees.

The silence was unbearable, as if a moment was frozen in time. Then everyone realised what happened. Girls started screaming, bodies pushed and pulled frantically as everyone tried to get out of the way, and the Rednecks ran. Nelly and Tara pushed their way against the retreating crowd to get to the boys. Shock froze them in place when they reached Jax and Cliff. The dark-haired boy's head and torso was resting in Jax's lap, as he cradled Cliff's thin frame. Nelly felt completely lost, unable to move, while Tara acted quickly. First aid training was paying off. She took Cliff out of Jax's hands and positioned him on the ground, then stripped off her jacket and folded it into a makeshift compress, pressing it around the knife still logged in Cliff's chest. Jax was dazed, blood covering his hands and the front of his t-shirt, but Harry had the presence of mind to get to Hale, frozen in mid-step, and shake him, "Get an ambulance, quick."

The blood was everywhere. Nelly knelt down helplessly next to Cliffy and reached for the knife, thinking how much it must hurt, wanting to pull it out.

"No!" Tara's voice was sharp, but barely controlled. "It'll make the bleeding worse."

So Nelly took Cliff's hand and held it, as dark puddle pooled around her knees, soaking her jeans. The boy struggled to breathe, blood bubbling on his lips.

"Shh, it's OK, don't talk. The ambulance will be here soon." Tara soothed, but Cliffy looked into Nelly's eyes as his lips moved. He was trying to tell her something.

Nel leaned down and heard him whisper, "Tell my mom I love her." Cliff held on to her hand for a few more moments, and then his grip slackened, his eyes drifted to the sky, and the bubbles on his lips grew still. Nelly watched Tara reached out to his neck, feeling for the pulse.

"He's gone," she whispered numbly.

It was all too much for Nelly. She felt her insides twist, her sobs spill forward, her pain not to be contained. She leaned over Cliffy and keened with grief. She felt strong arms surround her and lift her from the ground. Someone hugged her to his side and she was being walked away from Cliff's body. She recognized it was Harry's arms supporting her, his chest propping her up, and she held on to him as if afraid to drown. They sat together on the grass, a few feet away from where Tara and Jax were still kneeling by their friend's body. Nelly felt numb and detached. She felt Harry's solid presence next to her, his warm arm around her shoulders, but nothing else felt real.

They sat there in silence until police and the ambulance arrived. Jax had a hard time letting go of Cliff, but Tara's deft, insistent hands took his and moved him to the side, as the EMTs attended to their friend's body. Soon, Cliff's dad arrived in his patrol car, and they witness the grief of a father collapsing over his dead son. Chief Unser gave him a minute and then pulled him away with a couple of deputies, who were obviously his friends. Then the Chief proceeded to interviewed them all, while the other cops secured the crime scene, and the ambulance workers gave way to the coroner's van. There were only a few witnesses left at the scene and that group was small, consisting of the four of them and David Hale. Each told Chief Unser in turn what they saw and Hale confirmed that Jax and Harry didn't start the fight, that they tried to stop it. It was obvious that he wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart, but as his civic duty. Still, he was here, backing them up.

Then it was Jax's turn. "I told him to put away the knife, sir." He told the Chief, swallowing back his tears. "That's what the Sons do, we try to stop the trouble before it happens."

"I knew your father, Jax, he was a good man." The cop replied, as he laid a comforting hand on Jax's shoulder. "You did all you could, son."

Tara spoke with tears in her eyes, "You have to find the two bastards who killed Cliff. You know who they are."

"You can rest assured, Tara, that this is our top priority. Every cop in the county will be looking for them. They won't get far."

When the interviews were over, Jax sat on the curb next to Nelly and Harry, while Tara kept pacing in front of them. She lashed out at Jax, quiet rage in her voice. "So this is the toll it takes? Innocent people die, because you have to be some kind of hero?"
"I only did what any Son would do," Jax responded passionately, "I was trying to protect him!"
"And now he's dead. What good is your biker logic?"

"Why? Why would he do that?" Jax asked, as if he didn't hear Tara at all.

She reacted to his wallowing with hostility. "Because he was in love with you, you idiot!"

Jax looked like someone had slapped him. "I didn't know, Tara, I swear, I wouldn't have risked it..."

He got up slowly and reached out his hand to her, offering comfort, seeking it, but she pushed him away in anger.

"Don't touch me. I can't look at you right now."

She ran to her car and left them all stunned and speechless in the school parking lot. Harry pulled himself to his feet, and then helped Nelly get up. Nel put a comforting hand on Jax's arm, unsure what else to do. "She didn't mean that, Jax, you're not to blame."

"She's right." He said bitterly, then walked away to his Mustang and disappeared down the road.

Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair in distress. Then he turned to Nelly and took her hand. "Come on, Nelly, let's get out of here."

"I don't want to go home." Nelly said, reacting on instinct, her brain numb and her mind foggy.
"You should at least change your clothes."
She looked down on her bloody pants, her stained t-shirt, as though seeing them for the first time. "Oh, god, you're right."

She got into the Harry's pick-up, and then remembered. "Cliffy asked me to deliver a message to his mom. I've got to tell her."

"Nelly, today is not the time. You'll do that later."
"No, I must tell her now."

"No, Nelly. You can't." Harry repeated patiently, his eyes sad and concerned.

"I have to," She persisted frantically, "Harry, I promised."
That was when Harry took her by her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake, raised his voice as he spoke, "Nel, listen to me. You can't fix it, honey, you can't bring him back."

Those words had finally drove home the heart-breaking reality. She collapsed into his chest, crying again, the sobs heaving her body while Harry held her close, "You'll tell her, just not today."

Harry felt as numb as Nelly was distressed. Never in his life did he expect this bickering between them and the Rednecks to get so out of hand. It was never meant to get this serious and fucked up. No one else was supposed to get hurt, most of all not someone innocent, who they meant to protect. No one was supposed to die. Harry swallowed hard while the reality hit him, clenching his stomach and knocking the wind out of him. Their friend was dead, and he couldn't help but think that it was somehow their fault. That it happened because of the stupid tit for tat they had going with Alex and his gang. That Jax and he had fuelled the fire. He knew Nelly loved him well enough not to think that way and be forgiving, but Tara's words rang in his ear as he held on to his sobbing girlfriend. Were he and Jax on a slippery slope? Would it only get steeper and more slippery once they got patched in as Sons? Harry hated the doubts that spread in his mind like roots of a weed, that made him question everything he believed in. He pushed them to the background, determined to face them one day, but now was not the time.

Now, he had to make sure Nelly got out of these bloody clothes, that she had a quiet place to put herself back together. Harry had no idea where Jax went, but he had to let Piney know what had happened and find out if there was anything SAMCROW could do to help set things right. Nothing you do can set this right, a persistent voice in his head whispered, but Harry shook it off as he turned on the ignition and headed for home.