Notes: Transitional chapter. In which superheroes make an effort to play nicely together, we expand on one of George's gifts, and anything is better than being in Asgard.
Warnings: Potential OOC-ness, some of which is deliberate and handwaved away as a result of the circumstances.
Chapter Twenty-Five
They landed hard on an expansive lawn, and for a moment Loki was at a loss to know where they were. He cast a quick look around to ensure everyone was together- it was not that he did not trust Heimdall's expertise, of course, just that taking the headcount was reassuring to him. Annie was right beside him- unsurprising, since he was holding her hand- and George and Mitchell completed the grouping behind them. Thor and his four friends stood nearby, and next to them Maria Hill, looking extremely startled. Loki supposed this was only natural, for someone with so little experience in traveling by Bifrost.
Fury, on the other hand, looked like a man for whom the Bifrost was merely another form of public transit. Loki suspected he had himself been more bewildered after his first ride on a city bus in Bristol- although in his own defense, that had occurred only a few days after his tumble from the Bifrost, and he had not been himself at the time.
Loki suspected it would take a great deal more than a plunge through space and dimensions to fluster Nick Fury.
Loki, who since his own fall to Midgard had discovered in himself an unexpected propensity to become quite flustered, was working hard to at least appear calm as he tried to identify the great stone house, a sprawling old building with gables and diamond-paned windows, before them.
And then, to his immeasurable relief, the door opened, and out came Tony, Steve, and Pepper. Loki looked at the house again and realized they were back in Scotland, at the original hideout. Loki could not decide whether he was happier to be reunited with the rest of the Avengers, or simply to know he was finally back in Great Britain.
"Hey! Welcome back!" Tony called cheerfully, adding cheekily, "Nick! Nice to see you again!" Fury gave Tony a look that suggested he would be wise to go back into the house and put on his Iron Man suit. And probably never take it off again, at least not in Fury's presence. Tony strategically permitted Steve- and also Pepper- to step in front of him while he waved the rest of the group into the house. "We'd have thrown a welcome-back party, with drinks, but we're a little pressed for time."
"That is all right," Thor replied. "My brother does not require alcohol at the moment. Indeed, he will in all likelihood not need any more for another century at least."
"I'm sure there's a story behind that, but we'll have to hear it later," Tony said.
"More like a song, really," Thor murmured, ushering Loki and his friends through the door before him. "With an appealing chorus that encourages everyone present to sing along."
"Keep it up," Loki advised in an undertone, "and I will perhaps find a spell that causes your every utterance to come out in the form of a song. And not an enjoyable one, such as might be heard in a tavern. There is a form of theatre on this realm which seems to involve large people screaming musically at one another. It is unbelievably annoying. Really, I have no idea why it has not yet become popular with the court of Asgard."
Thor was snickering behind him when Loki passed through the door into the great entry hall. The moment they were inside the house, however, Thor wrapped one arm around Loki's torso, cast an apologetic glance at his friends, and quite literally dragged him into the study to the right of the door.
"What?" Loki demanded, looking in surprise at Thor's anxious face. "Thor?"
"How are you?" Thor asked. Loki blinked at him in confusion, and Thor placed his hand on Loki's shoulder and shook it gently. "Brother?"
Loki opened his mouth to protest that he was fine, perfect, never better, and instead heard himself say, "Never mind me, how is Mother?"
"Mother?"
"Yes. She was... more than peculiar, when I spoke to her just now." He remembered Annie's diagnosis of the situation and decided to keep it to himself for the moment. "Has she been like that for long?"
Thor's shoulders sagged. "She has been rather strange since... the first time you disappeared. She was, of course, heartbroken at your loss, but there is something else, something that has persisted even since your return. She will not speak of it, but something is wrong."
Loki rubbed his temples. "I think we had best leave this to think about at another time." He looked up at his brother and managed a smile. "In answer to your question, I am fine. Considerably better now that I am back in Midgard- which should shame me to confess, but- "
"It is hardly surprising," Thor admitted, looked at him narrowly for a moment, and then nodded, removing his hand from Loki's shoulder after a final squeeze. "Very well. We will speak of this again, but perhaps not now."
"Perhaps not," Loki agreed. On impulse, however, he reached up and laid his hand briefly on the side of Thor's face, a gesture more natural to Thor than to himself, then said, "We should join the others."
Pepper was waiting to shepherd them to wherever the rest of the group had gone when they emerged from the study. She showed no curiosity at all about what the brothers had been discussing. Loki managed to smile at her. She smiled back, perfectly pleasantly, and then turned to lead them down the hall.
The rest of the group had gathered in a large room furnished with comfortable chairs and couches, one corner dominated by a large television. Loki was visited with a sense of familiarity, an awareness he had been here before, but no specific memories came to him. All the same, the last of the anxiety he had brought with him from Asgard, and much of the weight around his heart, fled as he walked into the room. There was something about this room that made him feel... safe.
All of the available seats being occupied, Loki went over to the big leather couch and settled himself cross-legged on the floor in front of it, next to George's feet and leaning back against the arm where Annie was perched. Thus situated, Loki had a look around at the rest of the occupants of the room.
Thor's friends were gathered in a corner of the room, at some distance from the couch where Loki's friends sat. It was, he had to admit, more than likely his own friends, rather than Thor's, were responsible for that positioning. Or perhaps they had simply chosen their seats with an eye toward putting themselves near Steve, who occupied the other end of this couch.
The Avengers were assembled, all of them, and Clint, Bruce and Natasha looked rather uncomfortable. This might have been due to the presence of a number of others, strangers to Loki.
Strangers, that is, in the sense that he had not yet met them in person. The enormous being who appeared to be composed of rock, as well as the two other men and the woman who were his companions, were quite familiar to Loki from action figures possessed by children at the school. Loki knew before the introductions that the rock-like being was known as the Thing, while his two male comrades were the Human Torch and Mr. Fantastic, and the last was the Invisible Woman- who, apparently, was not always invisible.
Collectively, they were known as the Fantastic Four, which struck Loki as rather hubristic, but he deemed it wisest to keep that thought to himself. The Human Torch bore an unsettling resemblance to a younger, brasher, and much more impatient Steve Rogers- something about the cast of his features. Loki glanced up at Steve and was reassured that Captain America was indeed here, and seemed to be his temperate self.
Seated quite near the Fantastic Four, with Tony on his other side, was Tony's friend Lt. Col. Rhodes, who greeted Loki with a friendly smile. Loki smiled back, then his gaze went on to the two elderly men sitting together at the far end of the room. One, clad in black, slouched in an armchair with the arrogance of a warrior-king on a throne, while the other sat very upright in a wheeled chair. Catching Loki's eye, the second man nodded to him.
"I am Professor Charles Xavier," he introduced himself, his tone pleasant, almost warm.
"I am pleased to meet you," Loki replied, sitting up a little straighter. "Loki Odinson. Thor's brother," he added, conscious of anxiety under the examination of the two older men, and perhaps with a wish to justify his presence here.
Xavier smiled. "Otherwise known on this realm as the God of Mischief," he remarked.
Loki felt his face growing warm. "Actually, I am not, strictly speaking, a god at all," he replied.
"Indeed? The stories about you are... fascinating," Xavier replied, in a tone Loki thought might indicate he was teasing. Loki did not especially like to be teased by anyone he did not know. And, admittedly, by a very limited number of those he did.
"All made up, I am afraid," he replied stiffly. "You know how the people of this realm enjoy works of fiction." Xavier nodded pleasantly, his eyes very sharp.
A moment later, Loki was aware of something, a feeling, as though a stranger had stolen into his mind, was walking about with its hands clasped behind its back, thoughtfully regarding Loki's innermost workings.
Loki's reaction was instinctive and uncompromising: his head jerked back, and then he performed the magical equivalent of taking the intruder by the scruff of the neck, twisting its arm behind its back, and propelling it firmly out of the house. With a sensation rather like a door slamming shut, Loki barricaded his mind from any further intrusion.
Professor Xavier's own head twitched, and the feeling of contact with another consciousness disappeared, leaving Loki breathing rapidly and glaring at the older man with intense distrust.
The second elderly man glanced at Xavier and said crossly, "Leave the boy alone, Charles. It's indecent when you do that to the unsuspecting. Besides, if they're willing to trust a rogue mutant, you can damn well take it on faith the God of Mischief is all right." His tone caused Loki to suddenly wonder whether the two old men might be brothers. He lost that train of thought when the black-clad man turned to him and said, "I am known as Magneto, and I can generally be found on the side opposite this lot. I was under the impression, from the stories, that might be a more natural condition for you as well."
Loki resisted the impulse to wrap his arms defensively around himself. "As I say, the stories are merely that. Stories. Fiction." He forbore to add his usual disclaimer regarding the drinking habits of the ancient Vikings, and he resolutely quelled the urge to glance at the Warriors Three to see how they were reacting to all this.
"It's true, though," said the Human Torch. "You don't have a reputation as the type of guy who'd care very much whether someone took over the world. More the kind who might help for the hell of it, and then see what he could get out of it." Catching the glances of his friends, the young man protested, "Hey, I can read."
Over by the Warriors and Sif, Thor made a noise that suggested thunder a long way off. However, he let Loki speak for himself.
"Clearly you have the advantage of me," Loki replied stiffly. "Since I have not yet read all of the stories of which you speak."
The Human Torch shrugged and smiled, not quite pleasantly. "I'm sure you've got your own reasons for helping us."
Now everyone was looking at him, and his sense of being safe in this room had evaporated. Loki kept his eyes on the Human Torch, who no longer resembled Steve and who, along with Professor Xavier, he was beginning to hate, and replied, "This matter of 'taking over the world.' That would, I assume, include Bristol?" He looked around, got an amused-looking nod from Magneto, and said, "Well, then, there you have my reason. I prefer my home unsubjugated, thank you. I have the impression that city, and indeed the whole of the United Kingdom, would be rendered very irritable, not to mention quite stubborn, by any such effort. It would be unpleasant for everyone. Certainly that is the lesson we learn from history."
"'The lesson we learn from history'?" Professor Xavier repeated, tone questioning.
"Indeed," Loki replied seriously. "Surely you have heard of the Blitz?"
Professor Xavier looked at Loki for a moment in what appeared to be genuine disbelief- and then he threw his head back and laughed.
"Yes, I suppose you could call that an occasion when the nation became... stubborn and irritable... at the notion of subjugation."
"All right," Nick Fury spoke up suddenly. "I assume this is just more of whatever feeling out and sniffing around you've all been doing since you got here, but we're done now. If any of you want to appoint your own magical consultant, you can go right ahead, but Loki's ours. Interrogation over."
Loki carefully did not look at Fury, and hoped his relief and gratitude was not as visible as it felt. It occurred to him that "magical consultant" was a term Tony had also used with reference to him, which indicated he had been the object of some degree of discussion since his first adventure with the Avengers- and that the tone of that discussion had been mostly approving.
The thought was reassuring, as was a quick glance in the direction of Pepper and Natasha- as he caught their eye, both women pulled faces indicating impatience and annoyance with both the Human Torch and Professor X. It crossed his mind to wonder whether any of the newcomers had offered to condescend to the Black Widow, but since no one appeared to be missing his entrails, Loki concluded that could not have happened.
Steve now took control of the briefing.
"Okay. We don't have a lot of time, so let's get down to business. According to the intelligence Loki gathered for us, the five SHIELD headquarters initially marked for attack were New York, London, Moscow, Brasilia, and Tokyo. That would make one each in North and South America, one in Asia, and two in Europe. It's quite likely the Red Skull and his allies have figured out something is up, so they might have made a change of targets, but this is all we have to go on for now."
"Are there any targets in that list we can count on them attacking?" the not-at-the-moment Invisible Woman spoke up.
Before Steve could answer, George did:
"SHIELD is an American agency, so they'll pretty much have to hit one in the United States to try and pin the response in that country. Is there a central HQ?"
"That's New York," Fury said.
"Okay," George nodded. "For symbolic reasons, I can't see the Red Skull changing that target. The other two he'll definitely want, also for symbolic reasons, will be London and Moscow. He'll have to go after those."
"Have to?" the Thing said skeptically. "What do you mean, have to?"
The Thing was not alone in his skepticism: the rest of the Fantastic Four, in addition to Thor's friends (who, in fairness, probably had no idea what George was talking about) looked at George with expressions of equal doubt. Loki twisted his head to see how his friend was taking this.
George sighed, removed his spectacles, and wiped them with the tail of his shirt. Far from appearing intimidated by the lack of belief in the others' expressions, he seemed impatient with their stupidity.
"Steve told you what code names the Red Skull's assigned to the targets?" The Thing nodded, looking suddenly as unsure of himself as a being made of rock could probably look. Mr. Fantastic leaned forward a little, his expression thoughtful. George replaced his spectacles and skewered the Thing with a gimlet eye, rather like a schoolmaster confronting a pupil who had failed to prepare for a lesson. "The beaches at Normandy? And he's calling the whole thing Operation Overlord? The code name of the Allied invasion of Europe? He's trying to take over the world, sure, but he's also re-fighting the Second World War, and planning on a better outcome for his side. Trust me, he wants London and Moscow."
"Well done," murmured Professor X, and Loki forgave him everything.
"That certainly sounds like the Red Skull I knew," Steve agreed. "And if we move fast, we may still be able to hit those targets before the Red Skull does, and force him to concentrate his efforts on repelling us."
"It's worth a try," shrugged Mr. Fantastic, which Loki suspected was as near a ringing endorsement as the Avengers could expect from their fellow superheroes. These creatures seemed as little inclined toward cooperation as their villainous counterparts, which was hardly reassuring. Only the two elderly mutants, with their air of long acquaintance, seemed to have any intention of working together. Loki, who followed the news, knew quite well that Magneto was to all intents and purposes a supervillain and, despite his annoying tricks, Professor X was a hero. And yet they seemed much more able than the younger heroes to put aside their differences. Brothers, surely, Loki thought as he looked at the two elderly creatures. At the very least, acquaintances- perhaps friends?- of very long standing.
"The question is, how do we divide our resources?" Mr. Fantastic spoke up.
"London is my responsibility," Loki said immediately. Everyone looked at him again and this time he looked back, more determined than defiant. "The United Kingdom has been very good to me since my exile," he insisted, conveniently ignoring the fact he had neither requested nor been granted sanctuary here, he had simply taken it. That, he felt, was neither here nor there in terms of his obligations in return.
Given the tenor of the previous conversation, Loki would have expected near bloodshed over the assignment of roles. To his surprise, the various heroes bowed to the urgency of the situation with only a little unhelpful shouting, and fairly quickly worked out a plan. Thor and his companions, including Loki and his friends, were indeed assigned to London. The Avengers and Rhodes took New York, while the mutants had Moscow and the Fantastic Four, with a promise of further mutants in reserve, were to respond to whatever attack the Red Skull attempted to use to divert attention from the main areas of interest.
"One problem," Mr. Fantastic said. "How are we going to know when the Red Skull hits another SHIELD target? We'd need to get that information pretty damn fast."
The Avengers looked at Tony, who shrugged. "One of my lesser-known talents is snooping."
"'Lesser-known'?" Clint snickered.
Tony ignored him. "It was surprisingly easy to patch into internal communications- well, for someone of my talents." Loki waited, but none of the Fantastic Four gave in to the natural urge to snap at Tony to get on with it. Instead, Steve sighed and took over for him.
"Agent Coulson, of SHIELD, is in the security control room here, monitoring several channels' worth of SHIELD communications. He'll let us know if an emergency pops up anywhere."
"Are all of these internal communications in English, or is your Agent Coulson a polyglot?" Professor X inquired.
"The official language of communication for SHIELD is English, but you're correct, the local staff at each location tends to speak the local language among themselves," Tony admitted. "Those feeds are passing through translation software."
"And how is that working?" Professor X wanted to know. "Developing such software is a tricky thing, especially when dealing with colloquial conversation."
"It's not perfect," Tony said, "but it's what we've got."
"Um," George said, at the same moment his housemates began to make noises.
"Yes?" Tony prompted.
"Which languages are you translating?" George wanted to know.
Tony shrugged. "German, Croatian, Japanese, Spanish, Portuguese- why?"
George wriggled. "It's just that I speak those. Well, I'm not completely fluent in Japanese just yet, but- "
Tony sat forward in his chair. "You speak them? All of them?"
George squirmed. "It's a bit of a talent I have, is all. Languages, I mean."
Tony beamed. "Of course. A bit of a talent. That's great. Coulson will be thrilled. He's upstairs in the attic right now, pretending not to curse at me. He'll be delighted to see you. We'll make sure you have tea. Lots of tea. It'll be just like Bletchley Park, only smaller and without an ENIGMA machine."
George blinked, apparently not able to hear quite as fast as Tony could talk, and then he nodded.
"Sure. Of course. Glad to help," he said, and Loki smothered a sigh of relief. He would never have said as much to George, but he really had regretted his friend's refusing the offer of sanctuary in Asgard. Obviously, werewolves were much tougher than they appeared, but outside the full moon George's gifts were nearly all of the mind, and as soon as he had a minute, Loki had intended to be very worried about him. Leaving him to organize communications with Agent Coulson was the best option Loki could imagine.
The meeting broke up so that everyone could depart for their assignments- with the exceptions of George and the Fantastic Four, who would await developments in the lodge. Loki pulled his feet out of the way of Professor X's wheeled chair. Then, as he stood, he found himself cornered by Clint and Natasha.
"What did you do to him?" Natasha demanded, a wicked glint in her eye.
"To who?" Loki countered, uncertain for a moment what she was talking about.
Natasha drew closer. "Professor X. He was obviously trying to read your mind, which is his thing, which is creepy as all hell," she explained in an undertone. "I don't care if he's a good guy. How did you get rid of him?"
Loki shrugged. "Nothing very refined, I fear. I ejected him and.. more or less locked the door upon him. And yourselves?"
"Sweet," Clint snickered. "He hasn't bothered snooping in my brain for a while. The first couple of times he tried it, I just thought filthy thoughts until he either got bored, or felt like a dirty old man, and went away."
"That's better than my idea," Natasha congratulated him.
"Which was?" Clint prompted.
"I sang the theme song to Gilligan's Island over and over inside my head," Natasha replied viciously. "I hope he has an earworm the size of an anaconda right now."
Loki raised his eyebrows. "Hmm. I think I like that better than my alternative. I wonder whether the song about the black velvet band would also be suitable for such a purpose?"
Clint winced. "I bet I'll be able to tell you in half an hour, now you've made me think of it. Thanks a lot."
Loki was not sure whether to apologize or not, but Tony saved him from the need to make a decision by walking over and grabbing him by the hood of his sweatshirt.
"Walk with me," he commanded. Owing to the difference in their heights, Loki found himself bent over sideways, and if it had been anyone but Tony- well, anyone aside from a short list of people, one of whom was Tony- he might have been seriously annoyed.
As it was, Loki sighed exaggeratedly and asked, "What?"
"We have a problem, Loki," Tony announced. Had he not been practically hanging from Loki's neck, the announcement might have been a cause for anxiety- now what have I done?- but the circumstances made it difficult for even Loki to feel terribly threatened.
"Oh really? And what is- let go of me," he commanded belatedly, attempting to pry Tony's fingers loose. Tony outside the Iron Man suit was not especially strong even for a mortal, but he held on tenaciously enough that the only way for Loki to free himself would have been to hurt him. Which left Loki bent over sideways, scowling.
"It's about your costume," Tony explained. Loki arched an eyebrow, and Tony explained, "You can't run around fighting evil in jeans and a hoodie. It lowers the tone."
"I do not see what is wrong with it," Loki defended himself. "On the television, there are many programs featuring detectives who have gone 'undercover' to fight evil, and they are frequently garbed so as to blend in with regular mortals. And indeed, in this realm there are legends of an archer, who wore a hood- "
Tony shook him by the sweatshirt. "Yeah, but they're not hanging out with superheroes. Although I suppose if you look at it a certain way, Robin Hood was kind of a superhero himself- Never mind. Among other things, it screws up your ability to maintain a secret identity, if you just look like yourself all the time." Loki sent his second eyebrow up to join the first, and Tony shrugged. "Granted, I have a superhero costume and my identity is a matter of public record, but still. It's the principle of the thing." His point made, Tony released Loki, who straightened up and gave him a look that was suspicious more for effect than out of any real misgiving as to Tony's intentions.
"Very well. You request that I find myself some sort of costume, is that correct?"
"Ah. Well. As it happens," Tony said smugly, "JARVIS kind of has that covered."
Loki realized he had heard that name before. He narrowed his eyes. "And who is Jarvis?"
"My house," Tony replied, as though that explained everything. Then he relented: "Actually, the artificial intelligence system that runs my house. And also builds the Iron Man suits. A little thing like a costume for a magical consultant? No problem." He grabbed Loki again, this time by the arm, and tugged him toward the staircase. Resistance was clearly futile, and besides, Loki was by now intensely curious.
Tony propelled Loki up the stairs and down the hall, pulled him to a halt before a closed door, and commanded, "Shut your eyes."
"You are being ridiculous," Loki protested.
"I don't care. Shut your eyes."
Loki heaved an exaggerated sigh, cast a martyred glance at his brother and his friends, who had naturally followed and who looked just as curious as Loki felt, and obeyed. He heard the door open, and then Tony steered him into the room- not quite carefully enough, because Loki banged his shoulder into the doorframe and let out an exaggerated yelp of anguish.
"Don't be a baby," Tony ordered unsympathetically, turned him carefully, adjusted his angle twice, paused, made another tiny adjustment that made Loki lose patience and jab at him with his elbow, and finally said, "Okay, you can open your eyes."
Loki did.
"Oh," was all he managed.
He was in one of the guest rooms, and spread out on the bed before him was... a costume. Loki took a step closer, hands clasped behind his back as though he was not supposed to touch.
The costume consisted of a great deal of distressed-looking leather, of a colour somewhere between thunder- gray and black, accented by green wool cloth and what appeared to be bronze armour. And rivets. And various other little grace notes that made the clothing look less like armour and more like artwork.
Tony did not appear to be disappointed with the reaction- possibly Loki's face was more expressive than his utterance. Looking intensely pleased with himself, he said,
"Why don't you try it on? Actually, why don't you shower and shave first, because frankly it's getting hard to tell you apart from Mitchell and scruffy is a much better look on him, and then try it on. And hurry up, because JARVIS had to work from measurements he created using security camera footage, and Pepper is very impatient to see whether it fits."
"Pepper, of course," Loki agreed. Tony winked, and let himself out of the room. Left to his own devices, Loki took a closer look at the costume, brushed his fingertips across the bronze plate that crossed the breast, and then went on to the bathroom.
About half an hour later there was a thump on the door. A friendly sort of thump, though impatient, Loki concluded, and was not surprised when Thor responded to his call to enter.
"Yes?"
"Tony sent me to find out whether something had eaten you," Thor explained, his expression perfectly serious. Then, with a slight quirk at the corners of his mouth, he went on, "Almost, I perceive."
"I would appreciate some help, if you are offering," Loki admitted, from his situation half-engulfed in leather and wool. "It appears I have lost the skill of wearing really complicated clothing. Also, I am more than grateful I have not been assigned to travel to Brazil in this attire."
"It does look rather heavy," Thor agreed.
"Heavy? It weighs as much as a dog of reasonable size. I am only grateful Tony did not think to include a helmet," Loki replied, struggling to right himself as he fought with the trousers.
Thor smirked. "He mentioned that there should be a box- there, by the window."
Loki twisted around to look. It was a large box. More than capacious enough to accommodate horns. "Oh."
Thor's smirk turned into a genuine smile. "May I offer you my assistance?"
"I wish you would," Loki muttered.
Ten minutes later, Thor helped Loki adjust the extremely broad leather shoulders of the coat-really, it was just as well the doorways were not narrow- and remarked,
"I would like to know what Tony- and perhaps Pepper- used as inspiration for this garb. Surely they do not think this is what you wore in Asgard?"
"I doubt very much that was a consideration," Loki replied. "Or a constraint upon Tony's imagination."
Thor tilted his head on one side. "You do not look like a prince, exactly..."
Loki glanced in the mirror over the chest of drawers. "No. I feel more like a pirate. If Asgard had pirates. All I need is a parrot to sit upon my shoulder and squawk 'pieces of eight!'" At the expression on Thor's face, Loki explained, "There is a book about an island of treasure. We would both have enjoyed it, when we were children. If I ever get home I will find a copy for you to read."
Thor's face changed. "Yes. Home."
Loki winced. "I apologize. I did not mean..."
"Yes, you did," Thor corrected, patting and fussing at the leather coat as though it might have wrinkles that required smoothing. "It is quite all right. Now that you mention it, brother, I find it quite strange to see you in anything other than Midgardian attire. I thought the same thing when you were dressed as a Vanir. You look... more at home, somehow, in your Midgardian clothes." Thor hesitated, and then added, "Less... anxious… than I remember."
"Indeed," Loki muttered, looking at the unfamiliar reflection in the mirror. It appeared to him rather as though someone had taken his head and pasted it onto the body of another.
With that said, however, Tony's make-believe Asgardian attire did not produce the kind of knots in his stomach that might have accompanied an effort to wear anything he found in his old rooms. This was indeed a costume: painstakingly imagined, beautifully made, and affectionately offered. Loki brushed a hand over the intricately carved bronze vambrace that protected his left forearm, looked in the mirror again, and remarked,
"Well, I certainly look more like someone who should be associating with superheroes. Or battling them, as the case may be." Thor punched him very lightly in the shoulder- Loki forbore from admitting he could not feel it, since he suspected this costume would cushion him from any blow up to the point at which bones would be broken, and he had as little desire as ever to be knocked over. "Shall we show the others?"
"Do not forget your helmet," Thor reminded him, treacherously.
"Yes, thank you, brother," Loki snarled half-heartedly. It was not the same helmet, he reminded himself. There was no need for superstitious anxiety.
And indeed, when he finally descended the staircase, the helmet under one arm and Thor following along behind, the reaction from his friends took any lingering uneasiness away.
"That's more like it," Tony said approvingly, an arm around Pepper who also looked pleased with the effect. "How's the helmet?"
"Heavy," Loki replied succinctly.
"Let's see," Mitchell urged. Loki made a face at him and Mitchell made one back. Under the combined weight of all three housemates' insistent expressions (to say nothing of Tony's and Pepper's, and Thor's eyes on the back of his head) Loki sighed, pushed his damp hair back with one hand, and settled the helmet on his head with the other.
"Nice," George exclaimed, his expression mirroring the obvious approval on Annie and Mitchell's faces.
"I have no idea what Tony thinks I need to compensate for," Loki muttered, less grumpily than his tone indicated, "but these horns are a great deal larger than the ones on my old helmet."
"Well, you're older now than you were then," Mitchell pointed out. "They'd have grown. That's how it works."
"What kind of a creature are those based on?" Annie asked, stepping closer and tilting her head back to look.
"An ibex, I'd say," George offered. At the questioning expressions on the faces of his housemates, George clarified, "It's a kind of mountain goat. Lives in the Alps, I think."
"You do know the oddest bits of information," Loki congratulated him.
"Yes, well, that's what happens when you spend half your childhood in the library, hiding from bigger kids," George said.
"Is it, now?" Loki countered, arching an eyebrow. "I would not know about that." George grimaced at him and returned to the matter of the helmet.
"I must say, though, it's perfect. Since the one thing you desperately need is to be taller," he remarked, craning his neck.
"Well, you must admit, it will render me easier to find in a crowd," Loki pointed out.
"Dead handy, really," Mitchell agreed. "I can see us at a New Year's party: 'Okay, everyone, at twelve-thirty we'll meet under Loki's helmet and all go home.'"
Annie snickered. "You've never left a New Year's party at twelve-thirty in your life."
"Also, it will be excellent for my posture," Loki noted. "Since any effort to lean forward or back would have most unfortunate consequences, probably involving my falling over or having to run after my head in order to regain my balance."
"I can see that," Annie agreed. "It's very handsome, though." She met Loki's eye and smiled at the flustered expression he found himself fighting down. It was unlikely anyone would believe his suddenly flushed complexion had anything to do with the heat of the costume.
"So," Tony said hopefully, "is it okay?"
Loki smiled at him. "More than okay. Thank you, Tony. I feel much more heroic already."
"That really is pretty awesome," the Human Torch spoke up, from the other side of the entryway. "It's much easier to believe you're a god when you're dressed like that."
"But I am not a god," Loki explained patiently. "I am a janitor."
"Trust me, you'll get more action with the god line," the Human Torch assured him. Loki assumed an expression of blank innocence, as though he had no idea what the other man was talking about and intended to ask him many embarrassing questions. The Human Torch mumbled something and fled back down the hall, leaving Loki and his friends giggling behind him.
There was a momentary awkward pause.
"Well, there you are: booted, suited, and ready for action," George finally said, a touch wistfully. "I'll see you later." Pause. "Be careful, all of you."
"Right," Mitchell agreed, embraced him, and then stood aside so that Annie and Loki could take their turns. A moment later, Agent Coulson appeared at the head of the staircase.
"I understand you're working with me, George?" he asked. "Oh, hey, Loki. Nice outfit," he added casually, before returning his attention to George.
"Right," George agreed, patted Mitchell on the shoulder once again, and went up to join Coulson. On the ground floor, Loki, Annie and Mitchell watched until he disappeared from their view, then turned to Thor.
"It appears to be time to go," Loki said, not even trying to conceal the anxiety he suddenly felt, knowing Annie and Mitchell, at least, shared it.
Thor nodded, his matter-of-fact comportment almost reassuring. "Our transportation awaits."
Loki and the others followed him out of the lodge.