The Paradigm Alteration
Chapter Twenty-Five
"What about that one?"
"No."
"That one?"
"No."
"Oh, how about that one?"
"Penny, I've explained this before. Bears are terrifying," Sheldon insisted, his eyes glued to the window display of teddy bears that Penny was pointing to.
Turning in time to see the slight quiver of his lip, Penny smiled slightly. He was gripping a package of opened Red Vines tightly to his chest with both hands. She could see that this was bothering him, but for some reason, she didn't exactly want to stop. He was finally talking to her again. Granted, it was just little comments here and there, but she'd take it.
"Seriously? Even that little one over there?" She pointed to the window once more. "It's smaller than your hand."
"Penny," Sheldon began in his usual condescending tone. "That bear stands at approximately twenty-two centimeters-,"
Penny rolled her eyes as she reached over and grabbed his closest hand. After grappling with it over the Red Vines package, she then pushed his hand against the store window, placing her hand on top of his so he couldn't move away.
She frowned. "Oh, I guess it is bigger," she said, slightly distracted by the feel of his warm hand under hers. Even though his hand was trapped beneath hers, he completely dwarfed hers in size. Taking a moment to admire the look of his hand under hers, she felt his muscles under her wrist tensing and pulling slightly. Allowing his hand to jerk back away from hers, Penny turned around and looked up to make sure she hadn't broken him again.
He was cradling his hand to his chest and looking down at her hand with an odd curious look on his face.
"What?" She asked, frowning.
There was a long pause before he finally answered. "Small hands," he finally replied, still looking down at her hands.
Penny held her hands up in front of her face for inspection. "Really? How small are we talking here? Cute small, or freakishly small?"
She didn't receive an answer but saw him shake his head and turn to begin walking down the corridor once more. She turned and followed him slowly, still inspecting her hands. They weren't that small, were they? They were normal sized hands for a person of her size...right? Feeling a bit like a freak, she tucked her hands into her pockets. She suddenly felt bad for making fun of Howard's feet.
Catching up to Sheldon, she made sure he was right next to her and matched his pace. The last thing she wanted to do was lose him in a crowded mall. "Is there anything you need while we're here?" She asked him lightly.
"I don't shop here," he responded quickly, fishing out a new Red Vine and taking a small bite.
"I think they have something like a comic book store here," Penny said quickly, remembering that weird store near the food court.
Sheldon sighed. "Penny, in a world where I already have a comic book store to shop from, why would I go to something 'like a comic book store'?"
"Just suggesting," Penny snapped, a sudden frown appearing over her face. Damn but he was being difficult today. She was hoping the Icee and the Red Vines would have put him in a better mood, but it appears that plan clearly failed.
"Do you want to-," Penny started before she was cut off by Leonard's voice.
"Penny!"
Both Penny and Sheldon turned around quickly and located the sound of his voice. Penny's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly.
"What happened?" She asked as the three boys approached them.
Raj and Leonard were supporting a limping Howard, who also sported a nice dark red spot over one eye. He seemed to be unfazed by his injuries, though, as a rather creepy looking grin was plastered on his face.
"Two guesses," Leonard replied sharply, clearly annoyed by the situation.
"Why two?" Sheldon spoke up. "In most cases, the usual number of guesses proffered by the party withholding information is three."
"Because we have to get out of here before Security finds us, and the answer is fairly clear, Sheldon," Leonard bit out.
"Models?" Penny asked wryly, eyebrow raised.
Raj slowly nodded, shifting his weight so he could support his friend.
"He asked one of the models if they were Victoria and if he could see her 'secret'," Leonard sighed. "She stomped on his foot while another model knocked him out with her fist," he nodded toward the black eye Howard was sporting.
"I got a nice closeup of of her cleavage," Howard was saying softly in a dreamy-like voice. "It was worth it."
"Well, it wasn't worth it for us," Leonard insisted. "Now we have to get out of here before Security finds us." He shifted Howard's weight on his shoulder and dug into his pocket for his car keys. "Here," he said, handing the keys to Penny. "We have to take him to a hospital. He passed out for a minute after he was hit. We're thinking concussion."
"So, you want me to drive?" Penny glanced at the keys, confused.
"No, we're taking Raj's car," Leonard pointed to Raj, who was holding up his set of car keys.
"Hey!"
They all turned in time to see three Security officers running toward them from half-way down the corridor.
"Shit, have to go," Leonard and Raj began rushing Howard toward the exit.
Penny blinked as the three Security officers went running past them, chasing the three nerds down.
"Think they'll make it?" She asked Sheldon distractedly. A moment later she straightened. "Are-are they already in the car?" She asked, squinting to try and look through the glass exit doors fifty feet away.
"It would appear so, given by the fact that the Security guards have given up and are now focusing their attention on that vending machine," Sheldon commented lightly, taking another bite of his Red Vine.
Penny sighed, then glanced at the keys in her hand. "Well, now what?"
"I'm given to understand that there are vendors in this shopping mall that dedicate their entire inventory to women's shoes."
Penny frowned, then looked up at Sheldon. "Are you suggesting that we go shoe shopping?"
"You bought me an Icee and Red Vines. Social protocol dictates that I must now offer a favor in kind," Sheldon replied, not looking happy with the situation at all.
"Oh, sweetie, you really don't have to," Penny shook her head and smiled. It was kind of cute how nice he was trying to be, even considering he had been an ass the whole morning.
"No," Sheldon shook his head. "It's a non-optional convention. In order to preserve the perceived level of friendship between two parties, one must give as much as one receives," he explained, eyebrow twitching into a slight frown.
"But it's shoes," Penny lifted her hand to rest on the edge of his t-shirt sleeve. "Shoes, sweetie. You can't stand listening to people talk about shoes, how on earth are you going to spend three hours shopping for them?"
Sheldon's face snapped away from his Red Vines and sought out her gaze. "Three hours?" A slight Texan twang overtook his speech. "Sweet Jesus, how on earth can you muster the mental capabilities to handle something as banal as shoe shopping for three hours?"
Penny smiled. "That's how long it takes to find the right pair, Sheldon," she pat his arm. "So, you ready to go?" She leaned in teasingly, having no real intention of dragging him around to go shopping for shoes. She could tell by the lack of colour in his usually pale face that he hadn't realized what he had gotten himself into.
She watched as Sheldon sputtered for a few moments, mouth opening and closing rapidly. She could tell he was trying to think of a reason not to go.
She decided to take pity on him. Grinning, she leaned in closer. "Actually, I'm really not in the mood to go shoe shopping."
"You're not?" Sheldon finally managed to find his voice, and it sounded relieved.
"No," Penny shook her head before looping her arm in his and nudged him toward the mall exit. "Come on, I have a better idea."
…
"See? Wasn't this a better idea?" Penny spoke around a mouthful of pizza.
"You have a piece of cheese hanging from your lip," Sheldon replied distractedly, taking a bite of his slice.
"Really?" Penny picked the piece of cheese off her bottom lip and held it up. She laughed. "String cheese," she winked at Sheldon.
Something akin to a slight smile appeared to take over the right side of his mouth before disappearing with the next bite of cheese. He clearly remembered his insult from the week before.
"I really like this place," Penny nodded to herself and took a look around. She had driven straight to the little pizza slice shop from the mall and had received surprisingly little protest from Sheldon. He had insisted on waiting for a new pizza to come out of the oven, and he had insisted all employees behind the counter immediately wash their hands and put on gloves. Other than that, it was a surprisingly normal lunch with Sheldon.
She smiled to herself. She wasn't sure why he'd been avoiding her the past week, but since he was talking to her now, she decided to just chalk it all up to Sheldon being Sheldon.
"They have a more appealing ratio of bread to sauce to cheese," Sheldon agreed, taking another bite.
"So is this a Sheldon-approved restaurant now?" Penny asked teasingly.
"Considering that you've dragged me here twice, I believe I don't have much of a choice," he muttered, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad," she grinned, finishing off her pizza slice and wiping her mouth as well.
"Penny, I have a rather serious subject I need to discuss with you," Sheldon suddenly spoke after a long pause. He picked up his five napkins as he spoke and arranged them neatly on top of his plate.
"What's up?" Penny asked, leaning back in her seat, completely at ease. She frowned and leaned down to pick a piece of lint off her top.
"I would like to discuss with you a possible change in our relationship paradigm," he began.
"Okay," Penny frowned.
"Currently, we seem to be friends," he said. "Would you consider this a fair assessment?"
"Sure," Penny shrugged, reaching for her drink. "So what's wrong with that?" She asked, taking a long drink from her straw.
"Nothing, except, lately I've been considering entering in a possible relationship with you."
Penny's eyes bulged as she choked on her drink. Coughing and sputtering, she gripped the edge of the table as she tried to dislodge some of the liquid in her airway.
"What?" She asked, a bit higher and louder than she had intended.
"Have you sufficiently-,"
"Yes I've sufficiently removed the damn soda from my...whatever," Penny waved a hand in the air. "Now would you mind repeating what you just said?" She demanded, shocked.
"I've been considering entering in a possible relationship with you," Sheldon repeated, as calm and collected as ever.
Penny froze and stared at him. "Is this a joke?" She asked, looking around the store. She half-expected a film crew to jump out at any moment. A thought occurred to her suddenly and she laughed. "Oh, I get it! Bazinga, right?" She pointed a finger at him. "Oh man, you really had me going!" She laughed again, and felt it falter to nothing when he continued to stare at her with a serious expression on his face.
"Oh god, you're serious?" Penny leaned in closer, her voice almost a whisper.
"I've been giving the matter some thought for the past week now," Sheldon continued, seemingly not affected by her reaction at all. "I've been distracted at work for weeks now and I couldn't quite place the reason. There have also been some...sleep issues that have been plaguing me for the past week," a slight pink seemed to settle over the tops of his ears. "I believe the reason is due to the shift in our relationship paradigm, Penny."
Penny stared at him for several long minutes. Was this really happening? Was Dr. Whack-A-Doodle really turning human in front of her eyes? She closed her eyes softly and sighed. On one hand, she was mentally screaming 'yes' over and over again. On the other...
...this was Sheldon.
Did he really understand what he was asking? There would be touching involved for crying out loud!
"If you'll recall, you've been touching me for quite some time now, much to my resistance over the past couple of weeks."
Penny's face flushed as she realized that she had spoken those last few mental questions out loud.
"Sheldon," Penny started. "Do you really understand what you're asking? I mean, have you ever been in a real relationship before?"
"I believe I've conducted enough research online to be sufficiently knowledgeable on the subject," Sheldon nodded his head once.
Penny sat back, considering his answer. She really didn't have much to think about, though. Her mind was made up. She was going to try this. Even if he gave up after one day, it would still be worth it. She'd never get another chance like this. And since she had already known for quite some time that she had feelings for him...
Penny smiled slowly. "Okay, let's do this."
Sheldon nodded once, then stood to clear away his trash from the table.
"But you do realize what the means, right?" Penny asked, suddenly in a teasing mood.
"What?" He asked, walking right into her trap.
"Lunch was on you, sweetie."
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A/N: FINALLY! I finally had time to write today. YAY! And look! Sheldon is finally ready to expand into the human experience of dating.
Quick thanks to CatherineJosephineMarie007 for giving me the idea to have supermodels stomp on Howard's freakishly small feet! ;)
Major HUGS to all my reviewers! I'm trying to write as often as I can, and I love your support!