He was surprised, very much so, when Lina had appeared in the entrance to his tent. Her blonde hair was a mess and her face slightly pink from pacing to and fro outside, and she ducked her head to escape his gaze and tie the tent shut. He was even more surprised when she plonked herself down on the edge of his bedroll with a look of steely determination behind her midnight eyes. She cast those eyes on him only once before she crossed her legs and studied his face for any signs of distress. Deciding quickly that she -they- needed to sort this out immediately, she moved the lantern between them and spoke.
"We need to talk. And I mean, really talk, and not argue, or shout, or scream or give one word stoic answers." Lina spoke quickly in her nervousness, but was quiet enough for only Tamlen to hear her. Tamlen looked up at her words, and a sad sort of smile graced his face before he nodded.
"We do. But what more can we say? I should think we said enough in that forest." He answered bitterly, and although Lina kept her eyes glued to the lantern, he could see her hands clasped tightly together to hide her shaking. A flicker of sadness flitted across her face.
"It's funny, isn't it? We used to spend hours talking about everything and nothing, when we lived with the clan. We never argued, Tamlen, and if we did we were never angry for more than a day, at most. We were inseparable. And now we find ourselves with nothing to say when we really need to fix this." Lina shook her head sadly, causing her bangs to dislodge from behind her ears. The soft glow from the lantern lit up both of their faces and showed them every scar that they had earned together, every odd freckle that had dotted up over the years and the shades of the circles under their eyes. Tamlen was the first to break the silence.
"Would you rather I speak a lie and have it comfort you until the next time this blows up? Or would you rather I speak the truth, no matter how much it may hurt us both? Is what I have to say going to be worth the pain?" He asked cautiously, and though Lina still did not look up he saw the expression on her face that showed she wanted to say something else first.
"I need to tell you how sorry I am. I'm not trying to make you change your words should I ask for the truth, Tamlen, but I am sorry. I don't even know what made me send you away, and I have no idea how you knew beforehand, which I know you did." Lina swallowed thickly, looking up at him and locking eyes with him for the first time since Orzammar. Tamlen knew the second she looked at him that she wanted to say more, but she kept it quiet and then whispered. "I want the truth, from you."
He sighed, nodding to her as her gaze shifted and her eyes locked with the flame from the lantern. She idly traced small circles on the fabric beneath her as a distraction. Tamlen leaned back a little, his hands behind him to steady him as he shifted his uninjured leg. Finally, he spoke.
"The moment you sent me away, out in the middle of that blizzard, I never knew it was possible to hate someone so much. I was convinced that if I ever saw you again, we'd end up fighting. I hated you for everything and wished nothing more than to erase every moment of our friendship and past from my mind. I was furious. Before you sent me away, I was so convinced that you were frolicking around with Alistair that I couldn't see what was right in front of me." He shook his head, not yet finished; he wanted to test her reaction to his words. As he expected, Lina looked up with her eyes narrowed in confusion.
"I was never in any relationship with Alistair, and I don't know what could have made you think I was."
"I was so caught up in my rage, I couldn't tell the difference between friendship and love when it came to the two of you. But once I'd been captured in Orzammar, locked in that small cell, I'd started to think, Lina, really think. I couldn't ever hate you, not after all we've been through. Not after everything, the good and the bad. After that, I had to hope that you'd find a way down to me in that cell before I died down there, and as my luck had it, you did." He gave a weak smile, one she only barely registered as she looked at him curiously. With a deep breath to steel her nerves, she began to speak.
"I hate that we got caught up in this blight, I hate that we had to go into that cave in the first place and, once, I blamed you for that. Everything about you was irritating me before I sent you away, for the closer to you I tried to get, the further you moved away. But Tamlen, spending those few days without you in camp, I have never despised the presence of everyone else here more than I did then. I need you here, with me. At my side, as if you always have been, and always will be. I love you, Tamlen, but it burns."
Lina held her head high as she spoke and shifted from her cross-legged position to a kneeling one. One of her fingers hooked in the loop atop the lantern and moved it left and right in nervousness, casting shadows around the tent. Tamlen watched her, noting how neither of them had brought up the topic of the single kiss in Orzammar, and how they both seemed to be too fearful to do so. A thick tension still hung in the air between them, and it hindered their thoughts of words to say.
After a few more minutes of tense silence, she acted on the impulse that was gathering in her gut. She shifted again so she seemed to look a little taller and moved the lantern away completely. She then quickly swooped in to plant a small, but certain, kiss on Tamlen's lips. It stunned him into further silence, but Lina had a feeling that, at the very least, it would pull them out of this weird awkwardness and allow their friendship to get back on track. It was a promise. She stood up in the small space, and hunched her way to the opening of the tent. Before leaving, she turned around and locked eyes with Tamlen once more.
"I am going to try my hardest to fix this. Every day I'm going to work on getting us to how we once were, before this little slip. Maybe, once we're better, we can take it further, but right now is too soon to do that. But I need you to work with me on it. I can't fix us alone. Work with me, not against me, and maybe... Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves." She smiled weakly at him, attempting to lighten up their personal situation. He nodded in acquiescence, just as weakly as she had smiled. With nothing more to say at the moment, Lina left the tent and made her way back to the campfire.
"So, you've been given the wrong activation phrase for a rogue golem, we've had to fight hundreds of darkspawn to defeat a demon that was controlling a young child, and we've found out that the golem murdered its previous owner. Now you want to activate it. What could possibly go wrong?" Tamlen protested, and Wynne nodded in agreement with him. Zevran merely looked up at the golem with an expression on his face that halfway between disgust and awe. Just looking at the sheer amount of dents and chips on its arms and legs made him wonder how many battles this golem had been subjected to.
"Too late. Whilst you were blabbering on, our fearless leader said the activation phrase." Zevran muttered under his breath. They took a step back when the golem flexed and stretched its body out, humorously unaware of the droppings that fell from it as it did so. Lina swore she saw a flicker of delight flash through the cold, dark stony orbs of the golem when it finally stilled and took in the sight of all the dead bodies around it. Finally, the golem looked down at the four of them, and Lina rather imagined that they looked something akin to frightened rats caught by a hungry alley cat.
"Ah, another fleshy being has gained control of my control rod. Not another mage, I see. Although I do wonder how it came across it? Did it somehow find it in a deep dark alley, or did it wish to find a rod for me and use me as its latest helper?" The golem asked and, although annoyed at being referred to as 'it', Lina looked up at the golem curiously.
"How do you know I'm not a mage?" The golem snorted, a sound so loud that it sent a vibration through the ground around them. Lina was utterly confused at the feel of it. Caradin had seemed to speak directly into her mind, with his voice tingling around the back of her head. This golem, however, was actually speaking. The voice came from the creature, and had equal tone and feeling behind it. How was that possible?
"Does it simply think these stones are for decoration? Hardly."
"Do you have a name?" Zevran inquired, and stared up at the golem with his head cocked to the side. The golem turned its gaze on him and looked far from amused.
"After years of being told 'Golem, do this' and 'Golem, stand over there' I suspect to have forgotten any name I may have had. But no. I was once called Shale." The golem shifted, flexing its stony, rocky fingers and looking around at the four of them.
"Well, I er, guess it's nice to meet you, Shale." Lina murmured under her breath. She kept her eyes locked on the golem and her fingers remained tight on the control rod. Shale noticed this, and spoke.
"Strange. I see it has the control rod, and yet I feel no urge, no pull. You, order me to do something." Lina looked affronted at being ordered to do something, but merely sighed before looking at the control rod."
"Pick up Zevran and Tamlen, and carry them to the top of that tower." Lina smirked, but both of the elves glared at her and took another step back.
"You know, maybe it's not the best idea to be doing that. I've still got a cut on my side, and I think I'm getting a fever." Tamlen coughed quickly and loudly, wincing a little as the sharp movement through his body made his abdomen tense in pain. Wynne moved towards him and placed a gentle hand on his forehead in concern. She widened her eyes a little when she felt how warm his skin was, but Tamlen waved her away in irritation.
"I don't appreciate foreign objects invading my personal space... usually." Zevran muttered with a wicked grin on his face.
Fortunately for the both of them, Shale merely stood still, utterly confused.
"Very strange. It has commanded me, but I feel no compulsion to act on its orders." At Shale's words, Lina took a look at the useless control rod and then snapped it in two.
"Well, no use for that then. I guess you're free."
"Indeed I am. But where do I go? I have forgotten the world outside of this place. And it must have come here for a purpose yes? You must have wanted me for a reason." Shale made it seem more of a demand than a question, and Lina nodded in thought.
"You seem an able fighter. Creators, you're made of stone, of course you are an able fighter. Fancy coming with us and bashing darkspawn heads in?" This seemed to make Shale light up a little, if it was even possible, and the golem nodded at Lina.
"I suppose it will need protection from the darkspawn, seeing as it is nothing but a little fleshy thing. I will accompany it, for now." Lina felt a tight smile tug at her lips, and she nodded to the golem before setting off down the road.
Lina sat quietly in her bedroll, fully awake despite not being on the nights watch. She was wringing her hands nervously and staring up at the sky in deep thought. A mile. That was how far away they were, and the thought made her nervous. Everyone lay asleep, aside from Sten and Shale, who were taking the nights watch. Her dog was curled up around her, acting as something for her to lean on while he slept and she contemplated her decision. The clearing they were in was eerily quiet, with the only sounds being the soft breathing of those asleep. Leliana occasionally let loose a loud snore, and Lina found it amusing to see how that one sound would make Wynne scowl in her sleep and cause Zevran's hand to unconsciously seek out his blade, despite his state of slumber.
Surprisingly enough, Sten was keeping watch near his tent. His tent flaps were wide open, proudly showing his regained sword propped up against the wooden beam. She smiled to herself, remembering how proud she had felt to have found something worth so much to the Qunari, and how he had now taken to calling her 'Kadan' frequently. He was no longer as tense on watch, although he did keep casting glances into his tent.
Morrigan was asleep off in her own part of camp, and Lina could just barely see that her hair had fallen out of the tight hairstyle she usually wore. However, her movements in her sleep had frizzed and tangled it up, and Lina laughed at the mental image of Morrigan waking up in the morning before the others and immediately working it back into its elegant style.
Lina let her eyes wander over to Shale. The stone golem stood still and was simply staring straight ahead towards the two dwarves who had fallen asleep near their cart. They'd been a little apprehensive when they'd seen Shale stomping her way over to them, and remained a little fearful when she had decided to stay not too far from their cart. Oghren lay next to the campfire, with an empty bottle of whisky in hand.
She looked back up at the sky and mentally noted the telltale sign of dawn approaching. She hesitated for one moment, before she decided on what to do. Ever so slowly, she crept through the camp, with her shattered Dar'Missan wrapped up in a green cloth in her hands. She checked her daggers were still in their sheaths on her side, and then she took the bow from her back and gently placed it next to her tent. Duster had followed her, and his cold wet nose startled her when she stepped back only to have him headbutt the back of her knees. He wagged his tail happily at her nonetheless, following her around the camp and staying as quiet as he could.
Lina could feel Shale's eyes on her as she moved, and she tried to ignore them in favour of sneaking towards the final tent in the camp. She untied the flaps and went in, commanding Duster to wait outside as she tucked the broken Dar'Missan under one arm. With her free hand she gently shook the sleeping Tamlen. She was momentarily thankful that he had slept in his armour: it would save her time.
"Tamlen, wake up!" She whispered, with her hand on his shoulder continuing to shake him until he opened his eyes. She pulled her hand back in time to avoid his reflex of latching onto her wrist in case she was an intruder, and sat back on her heels. His eyes narrowed when his hand caught nothing, and when he looked up –a little groggily- he stared at her in confusion. An awkward silence fell on them, with them watching each other but unable to speak. Finally, Tamlen took a glance at the sky through the tent flaps and frowned.
"Lina? What time is it?" He asked, sitting up in his bedroll and yawning into his hand. His eyes felt gritty, and he rubbed them with his fists as Lina answered.
"It's about half an hour away from dawn." At her answer, Tamlen narrowed his eyes.
"Has something happened? Why are you waking me before dawn if nothing is wrong?" Lina rolled her eyes and waited until he'd fully woken up and grabbed his weapons before she dragged him out the tent.
"I promised you that we would go to the Dalish together, without the others, and I'm sticking to that promise. The others don't know that we're a mile out, and if they did, they'd insist on coming with us. And I'm not sure if you remember, but this is roughly the time we woke up when we were with the clan, so the Dalish will surely all be awake when we get there." She whispered, guiding him by his wrist through the dark of the camp to the edge of the clearing.
"What if we run into a scout? You and I both know the scouts went much further than a mile away from the camp, so we're done for if we run into one." Tamlen muttered. He kept his eyes on the edges of the clearing, watching for any curious eyes, and his ears pricked for telltale footsteps in the silence.
"Yes, but Tamlen, we never ran into any other Dalish, did we? And we were told to escort any elves we found to Marethari. We should be fine."
"What clan is it?" He asked her quietly, and Lina turned to give him a sad smile.
"Not ours, that I can tell. Now come on, we've to leave before any of the others wake up. It should only take us ten minutes to get there." Lina shifted the broken Dar'Missan in its cloth, knowing that it could be fixed once they reached the clan.
A nervous feeling pooled in both of their stomachs. They were fully aware that they were now travelling to a place that would be the closest thing to home they would see until the end of the blight.