"Harry Potter sir shouldn't be doing that!" Marny cried as he popped into the room the morning of September first.
"Marny!" Harry scolded the small creature. "Are you trying to dictate what hobbies I may and may not pursue?"
"No!" Marny cried panicked. "Of course not, but-"
"Are you trying to tell me that I can't do nice things for my family?"
"No Harry Potter sir. But-"
"No buts. I'm going back to school today and I won't see them for months. I'm making breakfast." Harry said with finality, waving a whisk around in emphasis.
"I'm not trying to stop you Harry Potter sir!" Marny plead.
"Oh." Harry stopped and blinked a couple times. "So what's the problem?"
"Those eggs are hardboiled. You can't scramble them." Marny explained. "I was going to ask if Harry Potter sir would like me to bring some fresh ones."
"Oh, well that explains why you let me cook all that other stuff before interrupting." Harry said quirking an eyebrow. "And I'm not making scrambled eggs, I'm making French Omelets. And yes, please."
"My mistake Harry Potter sir." Marny said quickly and popped out of the room.
"Um, Harry?" Hermione asked from the table where she and Tonks were plating food. "Who was that?"
"That's Marny, Potter Head Elf." Harry smiled and turned to Tonks. "I did what you suggested and called them. Their main duty is to keep the Potter properties maintained until I come of age."
"Oh," Hermione said softly. "I'm not really sure what to make of this."
"Well, they need the work and they can go to the places that I'm not even allowed to know the location of yet." Harry shrugged. "If I didn't have them doing what they've been doing for the last decade, I wouldn't have a home to go to after Hogwart's."
There was a pause in conversation as Marny popped back with a bowl full of eggs. "Pappy pulled those out from under your chickens yesterday Harry Potter sir. I asked for fresher but he said that the chickens wouldn't lay anymore until dawn."
"That's wonderful Marny." Harry beamed and took the bowl. "Thank you very much and pass my thanks on to Pappy please."
"How many work for you?" Tonks asked curiously as Harry started to prepare the eggs.
"Thirty-two." Harry lied. "And three houses across the continent."
"Three houses!" Hermione repeated incredulously.
"That's fairly modest by pureblood standards." Tonks told her haughtily.
"Like you would know." Harry droned as he poured the first serving of egg mix into his pan.
"Hey!"
"Well it's true." Harry made a face over his shoulder at her.
"I'll have you know, mister, that my mother made sure that I would understand pureblood politics, and land ownership is part of that." Tonks crossed her arms. "The Black family has this apartment, a manor in Wales and one in Scotland, a villa in Sicily, a plantation in the colonies somewhere and vacation homes in France, Morocco, the Philippines and Cuba."
"Speaking of families, they're going to be waking up soon. Nym, could you go transfigure some tables for them?" Harry asked looking away from his work.
"Sure thing!" Tonks said merrily and bounced out of the room.
"I should start on the coffee." Hermione said more to herself than to Harry and busied herself with that while Harry turned back to his eggs.
A little while later the kitchen was empty of human occupants. The table now held four trays, three with two covered dishes and cups of coffee each, one with three covered dishes, two cups of coffee and a smoothie. All four trays and the food they held were under holding charms to keep them fresh for a few more minutes.
In the parlor however Harry was conjuring a large bed for the three of them while Hermione and Tonks were triple checking that the floor was clear enough to prevent anything from getting damaged. Harry finished first and ran to the kitchen and retrieved the larger tray with the three plates and cups. After he put it on the bed he just made and stood back with a satisfied smirk an excessively loud rooster crow filled the house.
"They're up!" Harry cried gleefully as three shrill feminine shrieks came from upstairs. "Let's go get their food before they find the first password."
"PADFOOT!" They heard Remus bellow as the hurried back to the kitchen.
"IT WASN'T ME MOONY!" Sirius shouted back. "TED! DID YOU DO THIS?"
"WE'RE TRAPPED TOO!" Ted called from his room just as the kids picked up the trays.
The silence in that moment was ominous. The three kids met each others' eyes knowing what was coming back and that they were at the point of no return. Their moment of contemplation was over when all three men upstairs drew a simultaneous conclusion. As one they acted and called out. "HARRY!"
The women shrieked again but this time the men also screamed as the sound of three doors slamming open echoed down the stairs. The three preteens were snickering as they carried their trays back to the parlor. The sound of wood impacting wood was starting to fill the air when Hestia completed words for the first time in the morning. "SHIT! They're taking us down the stairs! AAAAHHHHH!"
The sound of wood hitting wood was punctuated with the sound of wood scraping on wood and also by the sound of people who were strapped onto beds that were sliding down staircases. One by one the beds that the adults slept in made their way into the parlor. Even with the trauma of their unusual exercise the beds all seemed to be in perfect condition. The owners weren't so sound.
During the night Harry had made his rounds and cast a spell on each bed that would slowly tighten the sheets until any underneath them couldn't move. After that there was a simple animation charm to bring them downstairs and an expansion charm on the doorways, so they could actually make it out of their rooms, both with a password trigger, the trigger being Harry's name. After that all he needed was something to surprise them enough to get them panicking. A time delayed rooster and sonorous turned out to be an ideal solution.
They had clearly all panicked at some point. Everyone's hair was mussed beyond repair and everyone's face was either red from exertion as they tried to get free, or pale as a ghost, if the stairs really scared them. Gwenog looked like she was the least effected by the prank but that was to be expected from someone who makes her living doing death defying stunts. All six of them were glaring at Harry with shockingly identical looks.
"Oh, good, you're all up." Harry smiled broadly. "We can't serve you breakfast in bed if you're still asleep."
"I don't think anyone could have slept through that." Sirius muttered.
"If I could move I would elbow you for that." Gwenog quipped playfully. "So you made us breakfast in bed?"
"Yea, I hope you don't mind that I still wanted to eat together." Harry motioned to the girls and took the tray he was carrying to Gwenog and Sirius.
"That's really nice of you three." Andromeda beamed as her daughter presented her with a tray. "But customarily you're trying to leave them relaxed, not scare them half to death first."
"Where is the fun in that?" Tonks asked rhetorically.
"Alright, so this morning's menu:" Harry said dramatically as the three kids took the lids off the plates. "Seared Polenta with shallots and fresh thyme topped with beurre blanc and white wine sautéed mushrooms. Next we have a French Omelet with tarragon, feta and sun dried tomatoes served on a bed of wilted spinach and toasted pine nuts. Filling out the savory portion of the meal are Rosti Potato triangles with a vinegary mustard dipping sauce. Finally we have Greek Yogurt with a wild berry compote and the best coffee I could find in London."
"Holy crap." Sirius muttered as the aromas hit him.
"This is amazing Harry." Hestia sighed.
"I couldn't have done it without my two beautiful sous chefs." Harry said as he, Tonks and Hermione, who were both blushing, situated themselves on their bed, Tonks had the smoothie. Harry was three bites in before he noticed the jealous glares from the adults. He immediately figured out the problem. "Oh, right, sorry. Dig in!"
Having said the second password the bed sheets released their captives, who dove right into their food. Harry's ego got a nice boost as all he heard for the rest of the meal was satisfied groans.
"Wow you three." Remus said appreciatively when he finished eating, a full half hour after starting. "I never thought I would say it, but who needs meat?"
HPCOC
Across the country Gilderoy Lockhart was arriving at his office for the first time. He was hoping to be done setting up his area early enough to catch a nap before he would have to start primping for the arrival of the students that evening.
He finished around two that afternoon. Still feeling very refreshed Gilderoy walked over to his bookshelf and took down a very special book that he was sure would catch Harry Potter's attention. He was going to be Harry's mentor if it killed him. Taking it back to his desk he sat down with a quill and, after removing it's protective case, began to write.
HPCOC
"Is everything packed Draco?" Lucius asked as he strode into the dinning room.
"Yes Father." Draco replied dutifully.
"You're not forgetting that book I gave you, right?"
"No Father."
"Good, now eat. There is a long train ride ahead of you."
"Yes Father."
HPCOC
"Are you ready Hannah?" Mrs. Abbott called from their living room.
"Yes mum!" Hannah called back as she dragged her trunk down the hall.
"You sure? I feel awful sending heavy things with the owls."
"And you don't feel awful making me get a hernia with this stupid trunk?" Hannah retorted cynically as she struggled with the trunk.
"Let me get your father to help you with that dear." Mrs. Abbott said and walked out of the room, calling for her husband.
"Too late!" Hannah shouted as she lost her hold on the trunk and watched helplessly as it slid down the stairs. It opened along the way and, when it got to the bottom, it tipped onto it's side spilling some of its contents on the floor. "Shoot."
Her parents returned to the room just as she was getting the last of her robes back where they belonged. With a quick sigh she glanced around again to double check. She gasped in horror and sprang to her feet. With a couple quick moves she leaped over to her dad and snatched the book he had out of his hand. "Give me that!"
"What's that?" Her father asked bewildered.
"Nothing." Hannah stated stubbornly.
"Diary." Her mother supplied knowingly drawing an indignant gasp from Hannah, who then threw her diary in her trunk and slammed the lid closed, casting a sealing charm on it for good measure. Her mom smiled smugly. "Yup, diary."
HPCOC
"Hey Gin Gin." Fred said coyly as he walked with his twin.
"What'cha got there?" George asked with a smirk.
"Nothing." Ginny turned away from her brothers, putting her body between them and what she had in her lap.
"Oh, that doesn't sound like nothing." Fred teased.
"In fact, you make it sound rather important." George added.
"MUM! FRED AND GEORGE ARE MAKING FUN OF ME!" Ginny shouted at the top of her lungs and smirked at the sheer dread in the twins' eyes.
"BOYS!" Molly thundered from below. "WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH YOU TODAY! BEHAVE FOR ONCE."
"B-b-but." Fred stammered.
"W-we-ee" George stuttered.
"Didn't?" Fred said questioningly.
"Do anything..." George trailed off.
"That doesn't sound like us." They said together.
"Ginny, why do you have to do this to us?" Fred demanded.
"I thought you liked us." George begged.
"Well that was before you tried to pry into my privacy." Ginny scoffed. "Now get out of my room."
HPCOC
"I bet the twins don't make it." Tonks joked, looking out the window and across the platform as the five minute warning whistle blew.
"They'll make it." Daphne said from the seat across from Tonks.
"What happens if they don't?" Hermione asked wearily.
"They don't come to school this year?" Hannah suggested.
"I think that's why Filch is a squib." Blaise suggested conspiratorially.
"They wouldn't strip someone of their magic for missing the train." Susan said rolling her eyes.
"If I were them I would arrange an extremely risky side-along apparition directly onto the moving train and hope that I don't die in the process." Harry boasted.
"There they are." Tonks said pointed as the Weasley family came stumbling through the barrier, all running.
HPCOC
The train started to pull away just after Percy and Ron got on board. Ginny pushed their trolley to keep speed with the train while the twins worked together to get the trunks onto the train, where Ron and Percy moved them out of the way. It was all very efficient and before Ginny even had to start jogging she found herself picked up and tossed onto the train by the twins, who jumped on moments later. Panting Fred looked at his twin. "Do you think we can cut it closer next year?"
"Don't even joke about that." Percy bristled.
"Come on Ginny." George said helping his little sister to her feet.
"We'll help you with your trunk." Fred offered.
"And maybe help you find a compartment." George smiled.
"Thank you, but that doesn't mean you're forgiven for earlier." Ginny graciously accepted their help.
"Oh come on Ginny." Ron moaned.
"If you hadn't yelled then Mum wouldn't have wrongfully yelled at them and we wouldn't have been late." Percy informed her. "This is over. I don't want to have to take points from Gryffindor over this."
"I'm gonna go find the guys." Ron grumbled and dragged his trunk off.
"I need to get to the Prefect meeting." Percy said arrogantly. "I'm going to trust you two to get Ginny settled. Don't let me down."
"Like we care about what you think." Fred rolled his eyes.
"Come on Gin." George took his trunk by the handle and started dragging it down the train.
"I think I heard Tonks shouting to us as we were running." Fred said. "Somewhere this way."
"Wait up!" Ginny called as she struggled with her own trunk.
A few minutes later they found the compartment with the rest of the court and threw the door open. All of their friends burst into applause. Harry stood up grinning. "Well done you two."
"Very Indiana Jones." Hermione said approvingly. "Although being on time would be better."
"Who is Indiana Jones?" Fred asked raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, right." Hermione blushed slightly. "Muggle reference, forget I said anything."
"Well come on in and make yourselves comfortable." Harry said jovially, waving them in. It was only then that he saw the large brown eyes peaking out from behind George. "Oh, hey Ginny. I didn't see you there."
George moved to the side as Ginny eyes went wide when Harry smiled at her. Her eyes met Harry's briefly before she blushed deeply and ran out of the compartment. The twins looked at each other for a moment before Fred shrugged. "I guess she doesn't want our help finding a compartment of her own."
"I think you're correct brother." George answered and sat down next to Susan. "And if she does she can just come back."
"Hello Harry Potter, I heard that I just missed you at Flourish and Blotts by a few minutes." Luna said appearing in the still open doorway. "Fred and George Weasley, Harry's friends. How are you all doing today?"
"Hey Luna," Harry greeted as she walked in. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm wonderful." She said smiling directly at Harry, making Tonks and Hermione, who were sitting on either side of him, stiffen slightly. "I've been looking forward to today all summer."
"Your first time on the train is always exciting." Harry nodded amicably.
"Oh, it's not that." Luna smiled, then leaned forward and smelled him, she didn't noticed the death glares coming from the girls when she stood back up. "I thought so."
"Um, personal space Luna." Harry said awkwardly. "And do I smell bad or something?"
"You smell wonderful Harry." Luna said absentmindedly as she sniffed everyone else in the compartment.
"Could you tell us what's going on?" Tonks glared. "Or are you just going to keep being creepy?"
"Tonks!" Daphne teased. "That was rude."
"Well, it's not my fault she's being creepy!" Tonks threw her hands up in exasperation, Hermione, Susan and Hannah all nodded in agreement.
Luna smiled serenely and held her hands up to her face so that her index fingers were touching her thumbs, circling her eyes, and the other three fingers on each hand were framing her face. The whole effect was similar to a Halloween mask. Suddenly her eyes started glowing gold and she looked around the compartment once again before her eyes came to rest on Harry. "How fascinating. None of you have the trace."
"And you have mage smell?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Oh, yes." Luna nodded vigorously hands still over her face. "It is surprisingly useful."
"I'm sure it is." Tonks drawled sarcastically making the other girls smirk.
"Don't mind them Luna. It is a very..." Harry paused as he tried to find a good word. "um, unique talent."
Luna beamed and continued staring at him but didn't say anything. Normally silent staring in unsettling, but when the starer has glowing eyes it is dramatically more so. It only took a few seconds for Harry's resolve to fail. "Why are you staring at me?"
"Oh, am I?" Luna asked, smiling innocently. "It's just that your aura is the most magnificent thing I have ever seen. You can look at mine if you want to."
"OKAY!" Susan shouted as Tonks went for her wand. "Luna, it was nice seeing you but you really need to leave."
"Right now." Hannah nodded.
"But-" Luna frowned.
"OUT!" Hermione interjected sternly, while pointing to the door.
"I'm sure you can commiserate with Ginny." Fred suggested helpfully.
"She went to the right if you didn't see her when you were coming in." George informed her.
"Um, okay." Luna was still obviously confused but didn't argue. Once she got to the door she turned back to the compartment. "Did I say something?"
"Yes!" Daphne said and slammed the compartment door in her face. "Seriously, can you believe the nerve of that girl?"
"At least with her gone we can move on to the important matter at hand." Blaise said calmly.
"Oh? And what's that?" Harry asked intrigued.
"Well, a magical anomaly has recently occurred and requires in depth investigation." Blaise smiled coyly. "Fred, George, just how is it that two Gryffindors managed to use the word 'commiserate' correctly?"
"Hey, we've read books!" Fred cried indignantly as the others started to laugh.
"At least two." George agreed.
"It's kind of hard to remember." Fred admitted.
"That was a long time ago." George said somberly.
"What were we? Seven?" Fred asked turning to George.
"I think, I'm just glad that we're twins so we only had to read half as many as we claimed." George agreed with a nod.
"See! We're smart!" Fred thumped his chest proudly with his fist eliciting a new bout of laughter.
"Hey Potter!" Theodore Nott threw the door of the compartment open. "Things are going to be different this year!"
"Um, yeah." Harry nodded lamely. "Things are different every year. New curriculum, new DADA teacher and new first years."
"No, you idiot." Pansy said from behind Nott while Tracy rolled her eyes. "You're not going to get away with everything this year."
"I didn't get away with everything last year." Harry countered to the growing frustration of the Slytherin Trio.
"Just shut up Potter!" Nott growled. "My father got me the best tutors. You'd better watch your back."
"Why? You too scared to attack my front?" Harry smirked.
"Snakes aren't known for their bravery." A voice drawled from the corridor behind Nott, Pansy and Tracy.
"No one asked you Draco!" Pansy sneered at her former crush.
"I want to hear Draco's opinion!" Tonks called out merrily.
"Daphne, Blaise. You should stop hanging out with this riffraff." Theodore said, ignoring Tonks and Draco. "Big things are going to be happening in Slytherin this year and those allied with outsiders won't be looked upon in the best light."
"What's happening in Slytherin?" Harry asked leaning forward suspiciously.
"That's not for a Ravenclaw to know." Nott said and turned on his heel. "Don't say I didn't warn you. Get out of my way Malfoy."
"Gladly Nott." Draco said as he stepped to the side while the Slytherins pushed passed. Pansy shot him a look of pure loathing but Tracy merely nodded to him indifferently.
"Don't worry Harry. Blaise and I will keep an eye on things." Daphne said reassuringly.
"If they let you find anything out that is." Harry said quietly. "He did have a point. It would be very easy for them to feed you misleading information. I hope Hande doesn't mind spending another year in the dungeons."
"Hande?" Draco asked as he came into the compartment completely.
"My snake." Harry shrugged. "Parselmouth blah blah dark wizard stigma blah blah."
"I see." Draco replied evenly.
"So how was your summer?" Harry asked, changing the subject, then winced when he remembered what the subject meant to Draco.
"Not as bad as I was expecting actually." Draco smiled. "Father actually seems to have gotten passed his problems with me being in Gryffindor. He's even lent me an aid to help gain reputation within the house. I can't wait to try out some of its suggestions."
"Do I even want to know?" Harry sighed.
"Probably, but I've been sworn to secrecy. My dad would get in a lot of trouble if certain people found out that he gave me this item." Draco's smile turned cunning.
Harry could tell that Draco was trying to wind him up, whether or not it was really a secret Harry wasn't going to fall for the bait. "Oh, that's nice."
Draco frowned but didn't say anything more on the subject. Draco hung out with the court for most of an hour before he decided to make his way back to the other Gryffindors. Just as he was starting to stand up the train jostled on the track and knocked him off balance. He fell across the twins and the Hufflepuffs before they all fell to the floor.
"That was very poised Draco." Hermione teased from her seat.
"Shut up Granger." Draco moaned and the five fallen friends started pulling themselves to their feet. "Everyone okay?"
"Yea." Susan groaned while Hannah nodded.
Draco stood up and patted himself down. "Hey, did anyone see where my wand went?"
"Here it is." Harry called from under the seat a few minutes later. He had no idea how the wand managed to make it that far until he saw the note wrapped around it. Harry took the note with a small smile to himself and read it. Go to the bathroom. It was signed with a tiny lightning bolt.
Short simple and to the point. There was no reason for Harry to ignore the summon from himself so once everyone was sorted out and Draco left Harry excused himself to the bathroom. When he got there he found Draco's wand, a potion, still warm from the cauldron along with a recipe card, and a note.
Harry,
This potion takes long enough to brew that by the time it is done you won't have time to apply it. Start that first, then you have a prank to set up. You'll know what to do.
Harry smiled and picked up the items. He took a glance at the recipe and once he saw what potion it was he knew what he was going to do. The hardest part would be switching Draco's wand a few minutes ago. A moment later Harry warped out of the bathroom.
A version of Harry that was six hours older dispelled the disillusionment charm on himself and made his way back to his compartment. He was correct in thinking that switching the wands would be the hardest bit. It was really a good thing that the train hit what ever the train hit. Harry settled back down between Hermione and Tonks and spent the rest of the train ride looking forward to the opening feast for entirely different reasons than the rest of the student body.
AN:
I think I know what I'm having for breakfast on monday.
I very much like readers who point out my typos. Thank you Impact81 and All The Pretty Horses. I suppose there is a possibility that someone else will point it out between now and when the actual site updates, so thanks to said hypothetical, potentially real, person or persons.