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Chapter 25: Envy
Having successfully talked Kohaku into coming back to the village with them, Tamako and Kouga waited a few days before Kohaku was travel ready. Their way back they brought Kohaku and Kirara both with them.
The whole way home had been fun. It took double the time since they had a human with them with human needs. Need to stop more frequently, eat more frequently, rest. And as strong as Kohaku was, he was still a human.
It was fun traveling with Kohaku. He livened things up she thought. They were quick to bond over various things, different stories, jokes. It made traveling easier. Though, Kouga didn't seem to like it too much. He seemed way too possessive sometimes while she was talking to Kohaku. He'd put an arm around her, hold her against his side, situate himself so he was between them. He'd even tried to get her to have sex with him the night they'd stopped to rest. She refused though, telling him there would be plenty of time for that once they'd gotten home. She did not feel like Kohaku hearing them.
But, other than that it was a pretty fun journey with little trouble. They'd decided to go into the village first instead of heading to the den. They were going to see Kohaku to the village, and then head back to the den and see how things had been going in their absence.
As she walked into the village with the two men, Kouga seemed uncomfortable. He did not like being within human villages, they didn't all tend to like demons. But, Tamako felt pretty comfortable walking through the town.
Walking with them to Sango and Miroku's house. As they approached, she could see Sango outside with the laundry, her two girls Sara and Chiyo attempting to help with the laundry.
"Chiyo-chan! Sara-chan! Sango-chan!" she said happily.
When Sango's eyes turned to them, seeing her brother standing there...her eyes quickly welled with tears. "K-Kohaku..." Sango said slowly. Running up to them, she hugged her brother tightly around his neck. "Thank Kami. Gosh you're so big, look at you! You should visit your sister more often." she said, smiling to her brother, resting her hands on his cheeks.
Kohaku nodded to her, smiling. "Relax, sister. I am alive." he said.
Nodding, Sango smiled and kissed his forehead gently. Once she finally saw Tamako, she blinked. "Oh, Tamako-chan. You have a surprise at your fathers house. While you go there I shall steal my brother away, if you don't mind." she said with a smile.
Tamako nodded to Sango. "No, Sango-chan, I do not mind. And thank you for the information." she said with a smile, looking at Kohaku. "Have fun." she said slowly.
Slowly she started to walk away with Kouga, raising her arms to stretch above her head, yawning a little. "I wonder what Otou has for me..." she mulled as she walked the path from Sango's to her parents. She hadn't walked that path in years, it felt like such dejavu.
"I dunno. But I know I have a surprise for you once we get back to the den." Kouga replied with a soft grin.
Laughing, Tamako glanced at her mate slowly. "You are crazy, koi. Your surprise can wait. Trust me, you'll get to give me your surprise later. First, we must see what my Otou has for us."
Nodding slowly as he walked with her. "Yeah I know. Kami its been days since we've been home...I can't wait to get home."
"Mmhm, and we still need to talk about this Kyora and Kanju jewel..." she mused.
"No, we don't. The discussion is closed Tamako. I've put my foot down."
Pouting as she walked. "We'll see about it." she said. Walking a bit ahead of him once they came closer to her fathers hut.
Sniffing the air, she blinked a little, looking at the hut. "Uncle Sesshy?" she asked softly, being able to smell her uncles scent, which made her pick up her pace.
Walking to the hut, she pushed the reed door open, looking in at her parents sitting there with her uncle and Rin. A smile went over her lips as she took in the scene. "Uncle Sesshy! Rin!" she said happily. She hadn't seen her best friend in months. Stepping into the hut, her eyes looking at her friend more.
Rin shifted in her position, smiling a little. Moving to stand up, but before she could Sesshoumaru was already up, taking her hand to help her to her feet. "Tamako-chan. I am so glad you've finally come home. I was worried I'd leave without seeing you." she said.
At first, Tamako wondered why Sesshoumaru helped her up. But, she didn't wonder too long. When Rin stood up, even though she was dressed in a fine silk kimono, it was obvious. She was pregnant. Her belly was already showing, but probably not as big as it would end up being.
The smile slowly faded from Tamako's lips as she saw her pregnant friend. Instantly she remembered the pup she'd lost. But, seeing Rins look of concern, she shook it off, plastering a fake smile upon her lips. "Oh Rin-chan! I'm so glad to see you. And...and look at you! I'm so happy for you."
Kouga was in the hut just behind her, and he saw his mates reaction. Resting one hand on the small of her back, nodding and giving her a small smile to try and make her feel better.
Looking up at him, Tamako nodded before glancing back at her friend.
Rin giggled and nodded. "Thank you, Tamako. I'm so glad to see you too. Its been forever. I was told you're living with Kouga in his den now."
Nodding to her friend. "Yeah. We just got back from the slayers village." she said. She hadn't seen a pregnant woman since before she lost hers. And, while she said she was fine, she really pushed it away so she didn't have to deal with it completely. She'd wanted that pup so bad, but she couldn't let herself think about that all of the time.
"Rin...you should sit back down." Sesshoumaru's calm voice broke the small chatter between the two.
Shaking her head, Rin chuckled. "Oh Lord Sesshoumaru, I am fine, I promise." she told him, looking up at the daiyoukai that stood protectively at her side before back to Tamako. "Sorry, he did not want me to leave the castle as it is."
"You should have listened to him." Tamako said, oddly in a harsher voice than usual.
This tone coming from the girl made Rin blink, tilting her head to one side. "Why? I'm perfectly fine and safe."
"The world isn't that safe. Not as safe as we used to think. So...please, listen to your mate. He just wants to protect you." she said.
Rin slowly started to pout. "But...but I wanted to see you. I was hoping you'd come back and visit with us in the castle. Come see the castle, it's so beautiful."
Seeing her friends pout, Tamako put her smile back on, looking up at her. "I wanted to see you too. I'm glad you came." she said. Moving up to hug her slowly and carefully, looking at her face. "Visit the castle?" she asked, her ear twitching a little and glancing to her uncle, as if asking if it were okay.
Sesshoumaru only gave a small nod. "If that is what Rin desires, then the invitation is there." he said.
"Hmm...maybe. We'll see. I've been on the road for a while and sorta just want to spend a few days at home." she said. Slowly moving to sit down, hoping Rin would follow her example. And, she did. With Sesshoumaru insisting on helping her take her seat again. It was so odd seeing her uncle hover like that.
Sitting down slowly, Rin let out a sigh. "I swear, sitting and standing are the worst." she said with a giggle, resting one hand on her stomach and looking up at her friend. "Oh, you've been traveling a lot? Extermination jobs, right?"
"Yeah, mostly. I usually spend more time at home. But the day after I got home last time, Myoga woke me up with the job for the slayers village, and I couldn't say no..."
"How did that go, by the way?" Inuyasha asked, breaking the silence he'd been keeping in order to give his daughter time to speak with Rin.
A sigh came from her lips, glancing at her father. "Well, everyones dead except Kohaku and Kirara. I left them with Sango. Some crazy demon named Kyora attacked looking for the Kanju jewel."
At the sound of the word, Inuyasha's eyes widened a bit, and a growl formed on his lips. "Yeah well, you will do well not to worry yourself over such things."
"Yeah I figured you'd say that, considering the jewel is my spirit." she said. The shocked expression on her fathers face caused her to continue. "Kouga told me, dad. I know. And, the topic of going after Kyora is still up in the air. I cannot just let him continue to destroy villages looking for me."
"And me..." her mother chimed in, causing everyone to glance over at her.
"What in the hell do you have to do with this?" Inuyasha and Tamako both asked almost in sync.
The woman looked up at them and smiled. Kagome hadn't seemed to age at all since she'd came back, which was strange. "I swear, the two of you are too alike..." she stated.
"Keh, spit it out. What do you have to do with this?" Inuyasha insisted again.
"Well..." she started, the smile fading from her lips and sighing. "I'm the one that can draw the jewel out. Thats what I have to do with this. Thats why I was brought back in the first place. I thought...I thought I could escape it, after Sesshoumaru used tenseiga to bring me back. But...I suppose not." she said with a sigh, looking down at her lap. "Kyora is Ryura's brother. Forgive me, I did not think that Kyora would have the same ambitions as his brother..."
"Is it true then? That the jewel in my spirit can destroy the world?"
"Yes and no." Kagome said, looking up at Tamako. "You were born with human blood, demon blood, and of a miko. Your miko powers make your spirit special. The fact that your demonic powers intertwined so perfectly with your miko powers is amazing. A child like you should not exist. It is this power that causes the Kanju to be made from your spirit. Ultimately...there are two jewels. The Kanju and the Manju. When used together, yes, they can destroy everything."
"Then...what is the other jewel? If Tamako has the Kanju." Rin asked curiously, looking at the miko.
"Well, the legend goes, these two jewels were created by the Kami of the Sea. If one were to possess both jewels, they would have the power of the kami. These jewels are the Kami of the Sea's power. And, the Kami underwent a fierce battle with a set of demons who wished to possess this power. One of those demons were Ryura, and then his brother Kyora. Together they wished to become gods with these jewels. The true kami knew of their wickedness, and in order to protect the world from them, he cast the jewels away into the spirits of special individuals. One, the Kanju, was to be left in the hands of one that can successfully harmonize all three powers. The emotions and heart of a human, the demonic energy of a youkai, and the purification powers of a miko." Kagome explained.
Listening to her, Tamako nodded slowly, looking down at her lap. "So...that would be me. Because I have all of those things..." she said, biting her bottom lip.
"Correct. The Manju would be entrusted to a daiyoukai's human heart. At first when I heard of that, I thought it may be the mate of a daiyoukai. But I don't think so. There are many possibilities for that. I often wondered if even a hanyou like Inuyasha could hold its powers. That one is the tricky part of the legend."
"A daiyoukai's human heart? But daiyoukai are not human..." Inuyasha muttered, looking at Kagome. "Could it be within a hanyou? A half human child of a daiyoukai?"
As these words were said, Rin softly rest one hand on her stomach, almost afraid.
Almost sensing his mates worry, Sesshoumaru rest one hand on her arm, looking down at her and nodding a bit.
"I don't think we will ever know truly. Surely Ryura would have had me go after the manju if he had been successful. But...without both jewels, it does not hold the same power that just one will. One will hold enough, but not nearly enough to do what the brothers had wished." Kagome added. Looking down at her lap slowly, sighing. "It also means I'm not completely free of them...maybe thats why..." she started slowly.
"Why what?" Inuyasha asked. Looking at her and reaching to take one of her hands.
"Why I have not changed. I'm not really dead or alive. At least, I wasn't. I don't know what I am. But maybe thats why we haven't been able to have another baby..." she said, biting on her bottom lip.
Gripping her hand a little, Inuyasha shook his head. "You are free of them, Kagome. Don't even talk like that."
"I can't help it..." she said.
Tamako shook her head, looking up at her mother. "So...they cannot take my spirit if you don't do it? Great, another wrench..." she said with a sigh, rubbing her eyes a little. "You know...I'm tired of all this seriousness. My head hurts. I want to go for a walk." she said. Standing up and starting to head outside of the hut.
She wasn't alone for long, though. Rin insisted on standing up and following after, Sesshoumaru on her heels. "Tamako-chan! Wait up!" she said. Glancing at Sesshoumaru, pouting. "Pleasee, girl time. Stay back here, I'll be fine I promise you. We'll stay right nearby."
It didn't seem to convince him, but Sesshoumaru nodded, knowing he could be there within an instant.
Once he walked back inside, Rin walked after her friend, smiling and looking at her. "So, Tamako-chan...how are things with Kouga going? I know you must be happy.."
Nodding a bit. "Yeah I'm happy. Really happy. I love him a lot.." she said, smiling slowly.
Rin pouted slowly, looking at her friend. "You can't hide from me forever. Whats the matter? You seem different than you used to be..."
"Yeah well, battle will do that to you." Tamako said. Hugging herself a little, biting her bottom lip.
"No, I fear there is more to it than that, with that face..." Rin insisted.
Stopping by one of the trees, Tamako leaned against it, looking up at Rin, nodding a bit. "Yeah there is. I um...I lost a pup a few months back. I was attacked on my human night...and impaled by a huge sword. After that I just...I don't know, feel different."
Listening to her story, Rin pouted, taking Tamako's hand. "Ohh Tamako-chan! I am so sooo sorry! Thats why you were saying its dangerous. Oh my gosh. Are you and Kouga going to try again?"
Shrugging slowly, smiling up to her friend. "Yeah, one day. I don't know when. Especially with this Kanju jewel looming over us." she said.
"Well...don't let that keep you from living. I can see it in your eyes, it still hurts. You're not as over it as you think. You want to have Kouga's babies." she said with a small smile, trying to liven it up a little.
Chuckling, Tamako nodded. "Yeah I do. But at the right time, when they can be protected."
"No, you want a baby now. Come onnn, just tell him. March up to him, and say, Kouga, give me your baby." Rin said, giggling slowly. "Trust me, he will not need too much convincing. Hell, I didn't have to convince Lord Sesshoumaru to give me this one. It just sort of happened."
"Ohh it happened on purpose alright. Us demons, we can smell when women are fertile. It happened on purpose. Mine didn't though, mainly because I basically jumped Kouga our first time, gave him no real option to say no..." Tamako said with a small smile.
"Yeahh I know. I can tell."
A sigh came from Tamako's lips, leaning back against the tree and looking at her friend. "You know, Rin...I envy you. You don't have the same worries I do. And you get to have a baby and a family. I wish I could jump into it that head first..." she said, looking down at the ground.
Listening to her, Rin sighed a little. Taking Tamako's hand and bringing it up to rest against her stomach where she felt the baby kick against a little.
Tamako's fingers rested on Rins stomach from insistence, blinking and looking down. Feeling the tiny kick, a small pained look went over her face. Bringing her hand back, shaking her head. "Stop it in. Please. I am happy for you, really. You've got everything you want. But...don't try to make me miss what I can't have right now..."
"Talk to him, Tamako. Tell him how you feel. Thats all I'm asking."
"Maybe..." she responded, sighing.
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They'd stayed at her fathers house for a few hours until it went dark before they headed back to the den. Her mother had tried to insist that they stay. But, Sesshoumaru and Rin were already staying in the spare room, and she wanted to get home and take a nice hot bath.
And, that was the first thing she did. After her bath, she slowly settled down to sit on their bed, wearing her white sleeping yukata. Bringing her knees to her chest, she rested her chin against them a little, closing her eyes halfway.
That was how Kouga found her when he finished his own bath. He'd had some business to take care of before he could retire to bed. Seeing her back to him, he just smiled. Moving to crawl up onto the bed, leaning and starting to place gentle kisses along the side of her neck that held his mark. "Mmm, finally alone." he whispered. Bringing his arms around her waist, not seeing her knees there yet.
But when he felt her knees in the way, he looked up at her face, blinking. "Hey...whats the matter?" he asked, instantly his thoughts moving to worry before proceeding at all.
"I'm just thinking..." she muttered.
"Bout what?" he asked. Moving to sit behind her and letting her between his legs. Bringing her close to his chest and just holding her. Leaning to place light kisses on her shoulder to comfort her.
"Bout a lot of things..."
"Liiike?" he asked.
"Like...like about a baby..."
He hadn't been expecting that answer. So he looked at her face, tilting his head to one side. "A baby? You mean a pup? What is it, koi? Now you've got me worried."
"Its just...its just...seeing Rin today, talking about baby stuff just got me thinking..." she said with a sigh, glancing at his face. "About...about how bad I want one. I say I don't, and I say I shouldn't...but..thats a lie. I wanted that pup more than anything in the world. Your pup. Our pup. And it was just gone. And every time I think about wanting one, I think about that day...that feeling..."
Slowly he rubbed her arms, shaking his head. "Shh, hey hey, shh. Its okay. Its okay for you to want a pup. You're a mated woman. Most women who are mated want a pup, its natural." he said. Leaning and kissing the side of her head. "You know I will give you anything you want, right? If you want a pup...I'll be way more than happy to give you one..."
"I don't know...is it really a good idea? After all we went through?"
"You cannot let the past determine the future, Tamako. If so, nothing would get done. The world is dangerous, yes. The only thing we can do is learn from what has happened and move on with our lives. Life does not stop because of one bad thing that happens. If you want a pup, then we shall have one."
She smiled at his words, cuddling back close to him. "You really think so?"
"I know so." he said, kissing her shoulder gently. "I do not wish for you to want for anything. I want to give you anything you want. And...Kami knows I cannot wait to have pup with you."
Looking back at him, she smiled. "Mm...maybe. I'm...open to it a bit more now..." she said, leaning to kiss him softly.