Chapter 25 – Agony and confusion

Meatlug knocked softly at the door to Hiccup's room and when no one answered, she entered it. She smiled at the sight that greeted her. Astrid was curled up in Hiccup's arms as they faced each other. She could see the traces of tears on Astrid's cheek, dry and a little crusty, if not even red. The Crew told her to call them down to eat breakfast but she really did not want to disturb their peaceful rest. She was about to leave when suddenly Hiccup whispered, "What time is it?" Meatlug turned around to see Hiccup with his eyes half-open. He was looking at her with an exhausted and tired gaze. She gave him a gentle smile and looked on her phone. "It's half past nine. Breakfast is ready. I could bring you something upstairs," she suggested, nudging with her head in Astrid's direction. Hiccup closed his eyes again and sighed. "No, it's okay. Eat without us. I'll make something once she's up," he said and returned her kind gestures with a smile.

"I already told Hookfang to go with Toothless on the patrol," she said, going towards the door. Before she was out of reach, he called out a Thank you. He relaxed into his pillow and bed as he looked down at the blonde hair that blocked his sight. He was lying on his right side, his arm stretched out for Astrid to use as a pillow. He could feel her warm breath against his chest and for some reason, it soothed him to no end. Now that he was awake, he could not fall asleep again. So he just lay there, thinking about everything that had happened in the last few hours.

At some point, he could not feel his arm anymore. He did not care much about that though. He was going through the plan for the day and scratched out everything that he would not make in time. He made a note to himself to apologize to the people who had an appointment with him but it could wait. He did not feel bad about it. It might sound egoistical but he finally saw a chance to be there for her, to leave a good impression on her. In the past, he would have taken the chance immediately anyway since he only loved her secretly from the shadows. Now though that they both were a thing, he would do that just to show her how much she means to him. He debated with himself about several other moral actions and rules until he felt the girl next to him shift.

Astrid felt something unfamiliar yet warm and comfortable underneath her head. She opened her eyes and found a black tattoo as well as a white tank top in front of her. Then the memories came rushing back into her head. Her father had kicked her out. She searched shelter in The Cove and… gods, she cried. Hard. In front of Hiccup. What a nice way to end the day of your life. She looked up to him and pursed her lips. He was watching her intently, patiently waiting for her to sort out her thoughts.

"You okay?" he asked softly, hugging her closer to him. She hummed and nodded quietly, inhaling his body odor. It was a mix of shampoo and… Hiccup. She liked it. It distracted her like a drug. The pain was not completely gone yet, but diminished nonetheless. She put her hand on his chest, tracing the edge of his tattoo with the tip of her index finger. It calmed her down, though the same did not apply for Hiccup. The mere touch of her sent shivers down his spine and fire through his veins. She lay there for nearly an hour. She knew she had to give the Crew, or at least Hiccup, a proper explanation. Still, she just wanted to enjoy his warmth a little bit more. She sighed and sat up in order to keep herself away from him a bit. She wanted to touch him more, even if only with her index finger, but first she would get this over. Hiccup looked up at her and sat up as well. Astrid angled one of her legs and put her elbow on it, holding her head to soothe the agonizing ache.

"My… father kicked me out," she began slowly, quietly. Okay, that took him off guard. He had to admit, from all the possibilities that were available, that was the one thing he did not expect. He leaned into his pillow, half lying, half sitting. He nodded as a sign that he was listening. She crossed her legs beneath the blanket and played with her nails on her lap.

"After you dropped me off… I saw light upstairs and thought that maybe dad had come home. He did. He sat there, on my bed, staring at me as if I was his prey or something. I couldn't even move. And then there lay the empty bags and suitcases. I thought that he was about to leave again and I asked him if he was going to leave again. He denied it and when I thought that all was safe, he told me to pack my things and leave. The bags were not for him, they were for me! He kicked me out! I begged him to explain it to me. I mean, I didn't understand why he did that! When I didn't do as he said, he nearly strangled me to unconsciousness. And when I packed my things, he kicked me out. Without any last words. Nothing! He just fucking kicked me out!"

As she found her voice again, she talked faster and nearly tripped over her own words several times. By the end, her voice had hit a volume that it was just barely acceptable to listen to. She was panting, too excited from recalling the previous night again and she felt how something was coming up her throat again. She kept it in though, she did not was to cry again. Once was more than enough. Especially since she hated crying. It left her tired and exhausted and weak. She hated feeling weak.

The time she realized that she had raised her voice, she looked a bit shocked to Hiccup. "I'm- … I'm sorry. I didn't want to shout at you," she apologized meekly. Hiccup just gave her a crooked smile and answered, "Not the first time you're shouting at me."

"Still, I'm sorry," she insisted, pursing her lips.

"Don't be. It's okay. I told you, you can let it all out. With me at least, for I think you would never hit the rest of us as affectionately as you hit me," he said sarcastically, giving her that lopsided smile. Astrid blushed at that comment and hit him on his arm to hide her embarrassment. Hiccup groaned at that and rubbed the spot. "Yeah. I forgot that you also hide your embarrassment that way- hey!" he barely dodged the pillow that she threw at him. "What was that for?!" he asked, holding a pillow in front of him as a shield. Astrid just did not answer and continued to hit him with the pillow that she just threw. She stopped abruptly as a fact hit her. "Shit! How am I going to pay for the tuition fee?!" she asked more to herself than to Hiccup. Suddenly she was panicking again, going through all the possibilities that she could use in order to manage the financial issues.

Hiccup watched as many different frowns formed on her beautiful face. He could offer her to pay for her tuition but he knew that she would definitely decline. She was too proud to actually rely on someone. The previous night was an exception since the situation called for it. However, now that she had most of her senses back, she began to think and make out a plan. Hiccup had other plans though. He got off his bed and turned to the cupboard, opening it.

"You can think about it later, can't you? How about we eat breakfast and think about it afterwards? Nothing good comes out of rushing," he said as he debated with himself if he should wear the sleeveless hoodie or the green t-shirt. After a minute, he took neither and decided to wear a pullover. When she did not answer, he added, "How does that sound?" When she still did not answer, he turned around and saw her looking at her hands. Her face was contorted in grief and something between anger and displeasure. His face fell. At such times he wished he knew what he could say in order to make it better for her. He approached her again, watching her sitting on his bed. She still did not move. He bent down to flick her forehead and it seemed that it did the trick. Astrid held her forehead and rubbed the spot while she glared at him.

"Why did you do that?"

"You didn't answer me."

"What did you say?"

"That we should eat breakfast and wait until we think about it. You must be hungry."

Astrid was about to shake her head when her stomach grumbled. Hiccup had to bite his lip in order not to burst out laughing. Astrid still saw him keeping it down and threw a pillow at him again. "Fine! Let's eat," she said and stood up.

"As you wish, M'lady," he answered with a mocking bow, which earned him another punch on his arm.

"You're such a dork," she told him, not entirely sure herself if it was meant as a compliment or an insult. She did not care much about it though. The both of them went downstairs and the first thing they saw was Eret being on his knees in front of some smelly socks. His hands were folded against each other and his eyes closed. He mumbled something and bowed three times until he saw the couple at the stairs. "Oh, good morning. How are you?" he asked the blonde, worried about her mental condition. Astrid just gave him a modest smile and waved it off. "I'm okay," she said, clearly lying. She did not want to worry the people who volunteered to help her out. She did not want to be indebted to anyone. "What are you doing?" she asked, curious about the strange behavior of the bulge. Eret looked at his smelly socks before he turned back to her. "Praying," he told her with a blank face. Astrid raised an eyebrow and looked at Hiccup. "Long story," he simply said and guided her to the kitchen. Astrid followed him and sat down at the counter. Hiccup opened the fridge and checked out the ingredients. "Is bacon and eggs okay with you?" he asked while he took them out.

"Yes," she said. She was already living in their generosity; she had no room to be picky. And she loved bacon anyway. Astrid watched silently while Hiccup prepared breakfast for the two. It gave her the room to think about everything again. Even if she did not want to think about it, something like that could not be ignored or forgotten as if it was nothing. The first thing she asked herself was why her father kicked her out now. He could have done it so much sooner but he did not.

Everything was so complicated and did not make any sense to her. She had always tried to meet his expectation, had always tried to please him but for some reason he was never content. He would always look at her with that disappointed and unapproved look. He never told her why and he never talked with her about her mother after the funeral. What would her mother have done if she saw her right now. Suddenly she got a furious headache again. She expected it since it was not the first time. Whenever she was thinking about her mother, a painful headache would overwhelm her nerves and torture her until she found something else to focus on. It was as if her brain does not want to think about it. Like a forbidden forest that lay cursed in the middle of an unknown land. She tried to focus on Hiccup again, forgetting about what she was thinking just seconds ago, waiting for the pain to subside.

A/N:

To be honest… I was totally motivated after the review of The Burning Pillar. Holy, I was shocked. In a positive way. I got so motivated that after I got back home from work, I immediately sat down on the computer and began to write another chapter. Generally, the 23th and 24th chapter seemed to have left quite an impact on you. I was so uncertain about these two chapters that it actually surprised me to see how you all reacted to it. (mostly in a positive way)

Again, Thank you for reading!

Date of Update: 16th October 2015

~ KeGzZ