A/N! Hey there, sorry for taking so long! Blame my exam period! But I am back nonetheless! So, here is chapter 25! Hope that you'll enjoy it! There is no beta reader this time, because my computer needed to be fixed, so I'm posting this from another computer... :( Sorry... :( Please put up with my mistakes if you can...
The line "All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you..." Is taken from The Lord of the Rings 1: The fellowship of the Ring. It's not mine!
So, off we go! A/N!
"The coices we make..."
THEN...
"Why? If you indeed loved and still love mom, then you should know that what I'm saying is true! I didn't break your deal! I-" "You ought to have forgotten whatever you thought you were feeling!" John rasped and Sam found himself stepping backwards. "This will never happen. What I felt, what I still feel... It-" "It is the reason why you're going to Jim tonight!" "If I am going to go away, I'll do it because I want to, not because you order me to! I am not your soldier. And I will never be. So no, I am not going to Jim's, I am going to go to Stanford! I am leaving here, tonight!" Sam replied, his eyes fixed on John...
And inside the room, Dean found himself leaning behind the closed door, gun still in his hand. He had finally learned the truth... But as it would seem, it was too late... But then again, it is never too late, is it? Dean may have had just escaped death, but he had escaped nonetheless... So no, so long someone is alive, it is never too late.
NOW
"And so, me and your father, we left the house that night, leaving you two alone. I didn't know what it was that which Sam was obliged to do, that I learned the next day." Bobby said, voice weary and sad. "When we came back, I looked for your brother and found him-" Here, Bobby's voice trailed off, but as soon as he had stopped talking, Dean, who was sitting opposite of him, raised his eyes, holding the other man's gaze for a moment. "You found him where?" The green eyed man asked, as he wrapped a bandage around his injured hand.
"I found him in the bathroom. Dean he... He had somehow managed to sleep while sitting on the floor, his hands as a pillow and he was leaning on the freaking tub." Bobby muttered, watching as Dean froze and his breath hitched. "I woke him up and asked him what had happened. He eventually told me everything, the same way I have just told you." Bobby said, and then for a long time, silence fell in the room.
"You found him... Sleeping in the bathroom?" Dean questioned after a while, eyes fixed on his now bandaged hand. "Yeah, but he didn't tell me why. Then we got downstairs and I came to find you." "You came to find me, only to lie to me when I asked you if my brother had spoken to you." The green eyed man rasped, rage building up in his voice. "Dean, son, I'm sorry... But your father had made a decision and Sam had already been through so much, Dean I couldn't stop your father from doing what he thought best-" But Dean wouldn't let him speak.
"My father Bobby, told Sam that he would send me to Caleb and if he somehow ended up getting involved with the police, which would be inevitable, since it's Caleb we're talking about, he would tell them that Sam and I had..." But Dean couldn't even complete the phrase he was saying. "And I, who thought that Sam made the deal so as to go to Stanford..." Dean muttered through gritted teeth.
"Dean, your father would never do that, he would never speak to the police, he never gets involved with them, you know it, but he needed to make Sam agree to the plan, he needed him to-" "Don't you dare, don't you even dare, take my father's side!" The green eyed man rasped, getting up from the chair, pushing it backwards forcibly.
"Dean he saw something that-" "Something which was harming no-one, why did he had to-" "No Dean, he saw a rather disturbing image, you are brothers Dean, and you have to admit that what you two had, was something no parent should ever have to deal with. Whatever he did, he did it for you and for Sam." Bobby said, but Dean had had more than enough.
"What no parent should deal with? And what about the children? What about them Bobby? Are the children supposed to deal with guns and knives and monsters? No, they fucking ain't, but who cares about them, huh?" "Dean, no, don't say that, you know that I-" "You have been lying to me for months on end, and I had to learn the truth from a freaking shape-shifter and then put the pieces of the story together myself!" Dean almost screamed, as he grabbed the other man by the collar of his shirt with his good hand.
"Why the face Bobby, I may not be as smart as Sam is, but if there is one thing I can do better than anything else, is read Sam." Dean hissed, eyes burning. "And today, after all those months, I pushed aside my own ego, and finally looked at him. Really looked at him. And what I saw made me want to vomit. So I'll ask you again Bobby, do you love me like a son as you say?" Dean snapped, his fist on the collar of Bobby's shirt tightening.
"Yes Dean, both you and your brother-" "Bullshit, if you did love us-" "Enough Dean! You said once, that choices and actions define a person. Your brother made a choice, and I had no right to interfere, just like when you had made a choice, and had talked to Sam about your feelings." Bobby said, freeing himself from Dean's hold. "Now, stop blaming me, and make your own choice." "What do you mean make my own choice?" Dean rasped, but Bobby ended up opening and then closing his mouth again, without having uttered a word, as John's voice echoed from somewhere nearby.
"You ought to have forgotten whatever you thought you were feeling!" John rasped and both Dean as well as Bobby looked at one another, but then moved their eyes towards the door. John was deferentially standing two, maybe three doors away from the one of their room. And something in the angry, razor-sharp tone of his voice, told Dean, that Sam was the one his father had an argue with.
"You made a deal Sam!" John said Sam found himself stepping backwards. "I never said that I would forget what I felt, in fact, this will never happen. What I felt, what I still feel... It-" "It is the reason why you're going to Jim tonight!" "If I am going to go away, I'll do it because I want to, not because you order me to! I am not your soldier. And I will never be one. So no, I am not going to Jim's, I am going to go to Stanford! I am leaving here tonight!" Sam replied, his eyes fixed on John...
And inside the room, Dean found himself leaning behind the closed door, gun still in his hand. He had finally learned the truth... But as it would seem, it was too late... But then again, it is never too late, is it? Dean may have had just escaped death, but he had escaped nonetheless... So no, so long someone is alive, it is never too late.
"Move away!" Bobby mouthed to the green eyed hunter, who seemed unable to move. Blinking, Dean did move away from the door and sat back on the chair, just as Sam burst the door open, walking into the small room. Not a second later, John followed, shutting the door behind him with such force, that the window in the room momentarily crepitated. "What the Hell John, you wanna break the freaking window?" Bobby questioned, but the other man chose to ignore him.
"I wasn't asking you to go to Jim's Sam, I was ordering you!" The older Winchester rasped, his voice loud and sharp. "Time you become a proper hunter, not a poor excuse of one." He continued, but Sam was paying no attention to him, as he was grabbing whatever pieces of clothing he could find, shoving them inside his duffle. "I don't want to be a hunter, so I'll just won't, I'm going away from here." Sam replied, voice low, but hard as steel. His words reached Dean's ears and the green eyed hunter inhaled loudly then, but his father's words covered whatever sound he made.
"Don't make laugh, you think that you're just going to walk away and find a normal life waiting for you when you get to California?" "I'll make a life of my own." Sam replied as he grabbed a couple of books he had placed on the shelf, which was next to the window. "You know nothing boy-" "Dad, enough, please..." Dean pleaded, getting up from his chair. "Stay out of it Dean." John rasped, his eyes never leaving Sam. "I know enough about how life works so as to leave here." The younger man said as he tossed the knife and the gun out of his duffle.
"I am a hunter and so are you, you've been trained into it, it's your life, hunting is a way of life, and you can't just walk away from it, just to go to Stanford!" "Dad, enough! Don't say things you're going to regret later!" Dean said, this time speaking out loud, while placing himself right in front his father. "I said, stay out of it-" "Dad, they've accepted him to freaking Stanford, so if he wants to leave us and go there, let him fucking do it and get done with it!" Dean rasped, his voice hard and bitter. "Shut the hell up." John hissed, his eyes turning on Dean, who could only look at his father.
"Sam, you're going to Jim's, end of story, he will come here-" But John stopped talking, and inhaled sharply, just like Bobby and Dean did, when they saw that Sam had stopped moving and was wrapping his right wrist with what seemed to be a piece of some white shirt. Dean's eyes opened wide then, recognizing that the piece of torn shirt Sam was using as a wristband, was the one Dean had used to blindfold him, back at Bobby's house. What made his heart stop however, was what his brother said right after he had wrapped his wrist with Dean's ripped off shirt.
"If I ever learn, and believe me, I will learn, that you've talked to Dean like you just have... If I ever learn, that you've endangered him in any way, if I ever learn, that all you do is order my brother around like he's your soldier and not your son..." Sam said, voice barely above a whisper, yet it was enough to send a shiver down Bobby's spine.
"If I learn something like that dad, I swear on Mom's memory, that I will drop everything and I'll come to find you, wherever you are. It won't matter where you'll be, believe me, I'll walk to reach you if I have to. And then I'll talk, I'll talk about many things I'm not saying right now." The young man said, zipping up his duffle as he spoke. "And then, who knows what will happen." Sam continued, eyeing his father.
Grabbing a thin book from under his pillow, Sam turned around and passed the duffle over his head, letting it settle on his left shoulder. "I'm leaving because hunting may be a way of life, but I don't want it to be my life. It doesn't mean that I don't want to find what kill mom, but I won't waste my life on it." Sam said, walking towards the door. "But I'm also leaving because I don't want to further complicate things." He continued lowering his voice even more, taking a step to where Dean had moved, next to the door.
"I hope that you'll someday understand, that you'll someday see that I..." But here, Sam's voice trailed off, and he turned his gaze on the floor, while placing the book he was holding, in Dean's hand. The young man could feel John's eyes on his back, but he didn't give a damn about his father at that moment. Dean was standing frozen on the spot, his face just a few inches away from Sam's, his green eyes burning with unshed tears.
"...Understand that I... I never wanted things to go the way they did. That I am so, so sorry... For everything." Sam eventually muttered, apologizing for the third time. Dean however, turned his face away from him. Swallowing hard, Sam somehow managed to step away from his brother's body, and he turned his head towards the door, grabbing the door handle. "If you dare to walk out that door, you should know not to ever come back." John hissed and Sam's hand froze on the handle. "John for the love of God-" But Sam's low, sad laugh, which wasn't really a laugh, made the older man fall silent. "Dean..." Sam muttered as he opened the door.
"Be careful, please..." Sam said, and then walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving the three men stunned and frozen, unable to utter a word. John was the first one to move, heading to the bed to get off his shoes. "I'm going to take a shower and then we'll leave here, go back to Sioux Falls for starters. "Dean, take a couple of painkillers and if you need sleep, we'll stay at Bobby's for a day or two." John ordered, as he got in the small bathroom, closing the door.
But Dean couldn't oblige to his father's calls, he couldn't even move. His eyes were tear filled, fixed on the book Sam had given him. It was no other than 'The knights of the round Table', Sam's favorite book, the one Dean knew by heart, for he had read it countless times to his brother. The book was old, the first one Dean had managed to buy for Sam, and thus the kid had loved it ever since, and never went anywhere without it.
But as it would seem, he had indeed decided to leave them behind, leave the life he had up until now behind. And a book like had no place in his new life. Just like Dean himself. "Dean! Dean!" The green eyed man turned his face towards whoever it was that was calling his name, finding out that it was Bobby, who he had forgotten was in the room at all. But before the younger hunter could speak, Bobby grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, dragging him out of the room and in the hall.
"Is this your choice Dean? Are you going to just let him go?" "What? Am I suppose to run behind him like a freaking dog or something? He left! He-" The punch which followed took Dean by surprise, making him hiss in pain, and take a few steps backwards. "You're such an idiot. You heard your father, he thought Sam broke the deal, and that's your fault." Bobby rasped, and Dean found himself gasping. "He left because he had to, Dean. He made his choice nonetheless. Now it's your turn." Bobby said, but Dean just shrugged.
"What's the point Bobby? There's no point in making a choice..." Dean muttered and covered his eyes with his good hand, while holding the book Sam had given him with the other one. "It's too late, you're late in telling me the truth and I'm also late in understanding what was before my eyes for all those months." Dean said through clenched teeth, voice broken. "It's never too late son. You still have time Dean, Sam hasn't gone too far yet. So you still have time and it's no use wasting it in thinking what could, or what should have happened. You have to decide what to do with it." Bobby said, and Dean huffed.
"Dean, you have to decide what to do with the time that is given to you." "Thanks Gandalf, I'll keep that in mind-" "Dean, you're a hunter and for all I know, you'll continue down that path. I know that, and I'm not asking you to leave John and follow Sam." Bobby rasped, shaking Dean by the shoulders. "But as you saw, as you know, hunting is a dangerous job. You could have died one year ago, you could have also died today." "Yeah, what's your point again?" Dean snapped, pushing the older man away.
"My point Dean, is that Sam left, to go chase his dream, but he also left so that your father wouldn't send him to Jim. He left because he didn't want John to start talking and tell you that he saw you and Sam on bed together." Bobby said, and the green eyed hunter felt his breath hitching.
He left Dean, because he couldn't bare the fact that he was the one who was causing you so much pain." Here, Bobby's voice fainted and Dean's eyes went wide open. "He left, thinking that you are so hurt by his decision to break up with you, that you wouldn't even go sit by him when he pleaded you to." "I didn't mean to push him away-" "That's what he thinks Dean. So here is the question." Bobby said, fixing his eyes on Dean.
"Are you going to let him go away, thinking that you almost hate him?" "I could never hate him-" But Dean stopped talking, as Sam's broken whispers echoed inside his head. 'Dean, I did everything for you... Don't hate me...' "You could die while you're on a hunt Dean." Bobby said and the green eyed man saw that for Bobby, it was hard to even think about that fact. But it was there in the back of his mind nevertheless.
"Are you going to let him go, thinking that all he did all those months were all for nothing? Can you take the risk of not even seeing him again and let this..." Here, Bobby's eyes moved to the book Dean was still holding in his grasp. "Let this, be the only goodbye you two will share?" Bobby muttered and Dean felt tears in the corners of his eyes.
When all Dean did was to stay still however, the only indication that he was alive was the rising and falling of his chest, Bobby sighed bitterly, and turned around, walking towards the door of the room. He then stopped at the threshold, hand on the door handle, eyes fixed on the floor. "For all I know Dean, if the tables were turned, you would have done the same thing if it meant Sam wouldn't get hurt." Bobby muttered, making Dean inhale sharply, at the sound of those words.
The very next second, the older hunter pushed the door opened and entered the room, closing the door behind him. But the green eyed man couldn't bring himself to do the same, for he felt as though his body had been paralyzed and wouldn't obey to his wishes. Sure, Bobby had made some points, but this couldn't change the fact that Sam had walked out on them, had walked out on Dean. He had left him, without as much as an explanation, he had left him... And it hurt. God, how it hurt... More than his badly bruised arm, more than the cuts on his neck.
Dean blinked and let his eyes fall on the book Sam had left him, which he was still holding in his good hand. He brought it before his eyes and opened it at a random page, gasping when he read a sentence which was written with Sam's childish handwriting, next to the original text.
'Dee, the best knight, my big brother, my knight!'
Dean felt his heart melting as he read that one sentence over and over, countless times, while flashes of events which had taken place that last year passed before his eyes...
Sam, pale and stunned, looking at Dean as though he was but a mirage, when the older man had said he wanted them to be together, that he wanted them to be more than brothers.
Sam, with eyes filled with anticipation and joy, with a face redder than a bloomed rose, looking up at Dean as the green eyed hunter started removing pieces of clothing for the first time. Sam, awestruck, as he beheld Dean killing two vampires while protecting a young woman from the bloodsuckers as well.
Sam, saying how he admired Dean, saying that what his brother had just done was awesome, saying that he was feeling guilty because Dean had to protect him all the time, saying that he would repay him one day, saying that he wanted to go to Stanford... Sam, saying that he loved, that he would always love Dean...
Sam...
Sam...
Sam...
'Are you going to let him go, thinking that all those things he did all those months were all for nothing? Can you take the risk of not even seeing him again?' As Bobby's words echoed inside Dean's head, the green eyed hunter closed the book he was holding, and let his eyes fall close for one more time. This was his moment, his play, his decision, his choice. And for better or worse, he had made it and wasn't going to change it. Reopening his eyes, Dean inhaled deeply and walked towards the door of the room, opening it with one swift move.
Both Bobby, as well as John, who had exited the bathroom and was now wearing clean clothes looked at him. Dean looked at Bobby and then at his father, and spoke, his voice steady, although Dean expected it to be anything but such. "What are we going to do sir? Are we going to go to Bobby's or in Alaska, for that ghost hunt?" He asked and saw Bobby's face darkening. The man however, remained silent.
"We'll be going back to Sioux Falls, there is a hunter who needs help there. We will stay a few days and there you can rest, so get ready Dean." John ordered, and the green eyed man had to remind himself, to stay put where he was standing. "So, today is Wednesday, we will stay in Sioux Falls until when, Saturday?" Dean asked and John huffed in annoyance. "I don't know Dean, maybe yes, but I can't be sure, now go get-" "Good, I'll meet you there on Saturday then." Dean said and watched as his father pierced him with his gaze.
"Come again?" "You heard me dad. I will come and find you at Sioux Falls, that I promise. But I won't leave here like some kind of thief, without saying goodbye to my brother first." Dean declared, picking up his duffle from where it had been thrown on the floor.
"Dean if you dare-" "Do you love me, dad?" John froze at the sound of those words, but before he could do as much as take in a breath, Dean spoke again, voice low. "Or, no, let me rephrase my question. Do you hate me? Are you ashamed of me, now that you know what I have done?" Dean continued and looked his father straight in the eyes.
"What do you mean 'now that I know what you have done' Dean?" "Quit playing around dad, Sam is no longer here, so I'm guessing there is no reason for us to play hide and seek anymore. "You know what I and Sam had. And although he has taken it all on him, and it was not he who started it..." Dean said and saw his father's eyes narrowing, "...You do know the truth nonetheless. We have been more than brothers, for more than a year, and call it wrong, twisted, sadistic, or whatever else you like, it was what it was." Dean said and heard Bobby swallowing hard.
"Now, I know you have seen us together five months ago, and no, neither Sam, nor Bobby have told me anything, the shape-shifter did, and it wasn't lying." "Dean stop-" "So, I'm asking you, dad. If you're disgusted by what you've learned, then I'll walk out of that door and I'll never bother you again, you have my word. And I won't be mad, if you want things to go that way." The green eyed man uttered.
"I won't lie, should you throw me out, it'll cost me too much, for I want to hunt, I want us to be a family again, and I want us to hunt together, I want us to find that thing that killed mom." The green eyed man said, his voice filled with fear, but with truth as well.
"But what I want even more than that, is to go and find my brother, before he takes off for good. I have to set things right between us. Now, will that be done at the cost of leaving you, I do not know. But it will be done nonetheless. So... I'm asking you, Sir... Should I return to Sioux Falls after I leave here, or not?" Dean said, voice quivering.
John remained silent, eyes on his firstborn, eyes looking at him as though they had never seen him before. But hadn't they? Oh, they had, back then in Bobby's yard, when his son had threatened to take Sam and leave... And one more time, in Bobby's house, when Dean had stepped in, growling deep in his throat, that Sam should stay in the house and not join John on that danger witch hunt.
And yet another time, in that house the day it was raining, when Dean had demanded an explanation from his father, about the reason why Sam had seemingly all of a sudden, taken off, looking so scared. And of course that one time when he shielded Sam with his own body... 'Part of what happened between us is your fault too, dad... Can you lose him dad? Dean, who loves you more than he loves himself? Dean, who would die for you?' John heard Sam's voice echoing inside his head and knew he had to make a decision, make his own choice.
John eyed his son and couldn't stop himself from feeling proud of him. Dean was risking too much, that he knew, but he was standing his ground. His body was tense and the older hunter could see that his son was putting on a facade, so as to be able to confront him like that. Beneath that facade, Dean was scared, so scared, and yet he was stepping forwards, he was speaking up... Dean loved his family and would die for his father in less than a blink of an eye. 'But for Sam he would do more than that... For Sam, he can do anything.' John thought to himself.
'It was never you dad, Dean had always been there, Dean kept me safe, Dean taught me how to hunt, how to do research...' Dean... John thought and his breath hitched. His son, his Dean, who carried Sammy out of a burning house... His Dean... "Be back on Saturday, by nightfall. I'll be waiting at Bobby's house. If you don't show up in time however, don't bother to come looking for me." John said after a while during which he had remained as silent as a grave. Dean's eyes flew open in surprise, before the younger man could stop himself.
For a split second it seemed to John as though his son's eyes were on fire, for they were shining so brightly, like two exploding stars in the night sky, like two drops of rain which were hit by the sunlight. They were filled with awe, love and joy and for the first time in many years, John got to see that look on his son's face, that look of complicity and fulfillment. He had seen it before, in Bobby's house, but that look wasn't meant for him to see back then. And so, the elder Winchester got to see those green eyes looking at him like Mary used to.
But the next second Dean blinked and pulled himself together, making sure to put on the mask of the hunter, of the soldier who was ready to follow a command, for that was what he had to be now. He had let himself become the son who rejoices, as his father allows him something, but Dean knew he had to step back in the role of the soldier now. So, that was exactly what he did, he gathered a few clothes and his gun, as well as his knife, shoved them in his duffle and then got out of the room to the parking lot, so as to get his stuff inside the Impala.
When he returned to the room, to get Sam's book and his wallet however, his father was nowhere to be seen. "He went to talk to the motel owner about the shifter." Bobby said, before Dean could utter a word. "What you did Dean, it wasn't wrong son." "I... I will be back in time, you know that right?" "Yes Dean, and so does your dad. And as for what was the point of the deal he and Sam made..." Bobby muttered, voice trailing off, as he stretched his hand towards the green eyed man. "No Bobby, I can't take more money from you-" "They ain't mine, you idjit." The other man interjected.
Green eyes shot open at the sound of those words, and Dean found himself looking down at the money as though he had never seen such a thing before. "That's what the Deal helped with, Dean. It gave time to your father to think things through. That's why he let you go find Sam, because he trusts you." "He wanted to kick Sam out-" "So that you two wouldn't end up together again. But he never wanted to lose any of you. That's why he didn't want Sam taking off on his own for Stanford. He couldn't bare the thought of him being all alone out there." Bobby explained.
"But Sam is who he is Dean, and your father knows this, like he knows who you are as well. As for the money... Sam left without as much as a penny in his pockets. Do you think your father would ever let him go out there in the world alone and without money?" Bobby questioned and the corners of his lips turned into a smile as he beheld Dean's reaction.
"But we... He saw us..." "He did see you and I'm sure he'll never be okay with what you two had. But he loves you Dean, he loves both of you." Thee older man said and for the first time in a long time, Dean believed that his father did love him. "Go, Dean, go son." Bobby said voice low. Dean eyed the older man with eyes filled with love. "Thanks Bobby... Thanks for everything." "Oh, for the love of God Dean, stop acting as though you are about to go to war and get out there already!" Bobby replied all of a sudden, making the green eyed man look at him and then smile widely. "Be back on Saturday you old rascal!" Dean shot back at him and opened the door of the room.
"Take care Dean." Bobby added, knowing that he had never felt prouder of any other human being in his entire life."You too Bobby, you too." Dean uttered in between his teeth, and for a mere second, Bobby thought Dean had called him 'dad.' He may as well have had... "Tell Sam I'm sending my regards." Bobby rasped, but all Dean did, was to wave the back of his hand as he walked out the door.
And so it was, that Dean was walking out of a door to find Sam for yet another time, much like at the beginning of our story, when Dean had walked out of a rented apartment while it was raining. Back then, as you may remember, the words 'Take care Dean' had been uttered by John and Dean had answered 'You too dad, you too.' And now, he had answered the very same thing, for Bobby may as well be his father, or at least, the closest thing Dean had to a father...
The games Fate plays on us are never ending, aren't they? The choices we are called to make, the crossroads we will find ourselves on, the odds we are faced with... And we always have to make a choice, we always have to walk down some direction of the road that goes ever on, for life can not wait too long for us to decide. It moves on, fast, fast like the wind...
And one moment, you think that the person you love is there, so close to you that you can extend your hand and hold him in your grasp, if only you decide to do so. But the very next moment goes by, but you haven't decided yet, you haven't made a choice yet. Thus, comes the moment after the one you lost, and you finally extend your hand, waiting for another one to grab it, waiting for a pair of eyes to look down at you, waiting for a smile to brighten your world... But the only thing your fingers touch is the wind, for the person is gone, has already made his choice...
So, the question is simple. Are you ready to chase your dream? To chase down the person you've let walk away from you? Can you run as fast as the wind does, as fast as life does? And if you can, and if you do find the person you've let walk away from you, can you make each and every second spend with them feel as though the clock has stopped ticking? For only then, will you be able to catch up for all the time you've lost. Yes, you may have lost one moment, maybe more... But every moment is unique and can never return...
Never returning were the moments Dean had spent away from Sam as well, never returning were the moments he was spending, looking all around the city to find him. But he had made his choice and wasn't going to change it anytime soon. And so, the day started giving its place to the night, and the shadows were growing larger as the sun was moving to the west. But Dean kept chasing down the wasted time, kept chasing down what he had let slip from within his grasp.
Was it Fate or Luck who helped him, the hunter couldn't know, but somewhere around ten o'clock in the night he had finally found where Sam was... Clenching his fingers into a fist, Dean took in a deep breath and knocked at the door with the number 10 on it. "Look lady, I told you, I'll work to pay you back for the room, so you don't have to..." But Sam's protests died in his throat as he opened the door to find himself face to face with the one person, he knew he wouldn't see anytime soon.
The younger hunter blinked a couple of times and stood frozen on the spot by the threshold, for what could have been hours, but were mere seconds. Never returning moments they all were, in Dean's mind, so it was him, who spoke first. "Hey there Sam." He uttered, smiling weakly.
Dean could have sworn that Sam's mouth fell open at the sound of his name. "The lady won't bother you, I paid for the room and for some extra hot water. Brought food as well." Dean said, bringing his good hand, in which he held a bag with what were probably hamburgers, in Sam's line of sight.
But Sam remained silent, for his mind was in such a haste that he couldn't bring himself to utter a complete phrase. If Dean was there, with his duffle passed over his shoulder, then he had left John, but Dean had no reason to do that, unless... At the mere thought of Dean having been kicked out because Sam had broken the deal, Sam's palms started sweating all of a sudden.
His breath quickened dangerously, as his eyes blurred from the tears... Because Dean was standing at the door... God, Dean was standing at the freaking door... "Well, I have to admit it's flattering, me being the one to rob you of your ability to speak. After all, this is your best card, little brother." Dean muttered, half chuckling, knowing what was going on, inside his brother's head. But when Sam didn't do as much as flinch, Dean knew he had to move fast.
Placing the bag with the food on the ground next to him, Dean softened his facial expression, moving closer to his brother. The younger man however, couldn't think anything anymore, for his mind had blacked out. He couldn't do anything, couldn't see anything... Couldn't feel anything.
He couldn't see Dean placing the bag with the food on the ground, couldn't feel the hot tears running down his own cheeks, couldn't feel the sweat in between his fingers... Couldn't feel Dean's hand wiping the drops of salty water away... What he did feel however, was Dean's breath on his face, as the green eyed man approached him, his lips only inches away from his own.
"It's alright Sammy, it's okay." He uttered and Sam shivered violently, as something inside him broke. "What... How... Why are you... Are you alright, are you..." But Sam's fragile voice fainted as a sob emerged from deep within his throat. "You can stop now Sammy, for you've done well." Dean said a little louder this time. Sam's eyes widened and his breath got caught in his throat, but his heart was beating so fast he thought it could break. He had to speak up, had to ask why Dean was there, had to push him away... Had to... But he couldn't do any of those things, for Dean was finally there, with him... Oh, God...
"You've done well, Sammy..." Dean said again, and Sam had never felt more powerless, confused, and yet happy, in his entire life... And as the clock stroke ten, Dean got Sam's frowned face in between his hands and held it tight, while his green eyes were never leaving teary hazel ones. And so, there they stood, only inches away from one another. And Dean was holding Sam close, holding him because he had finally found him.
He could feel the hot tears on the tips of his fingers, he could feel Sam shaking... But he was finally holding him close, after all this time. Sam opened his mouth, but couldn't speak, no, Dean wouldn't let him. In less than a blink of an eye, Dean crashed Sam on his chest and locked his arms around his shaking shoulders, knowing that he wasn't going to let yet another second be wasted...
And as the wind blew, the green eyed man could feel it surrounding him. But it couldn't come between him and Sam, not this time, not anymore... For he was holding him impossibly close, his grasps taking a hold of Sam's shirt. And as the next stroke of the clock was heard, Dean knew he had finally, found what he was looking for. He knew he had made the right choice, he had taken the right decision regarding the time that had been given to him...
Because the coming second, found the brothers together... That, was the right thing to do. It was what he wanted to do. Dean knew that for sure...
A/N! So, here ends chapter 25... Wow, that was a long chapter! And yes, the boys are finally together again! We will get to see some more of them, making up again! But keep in mind that Sam will go to Stanford! But not just yet! :) Hope that you all enjoyed!
Please tell me what you think!
Until next time,
Love you all,
Usagi!