The Way Back
Hinata stayed the night. Kakashi and Sasuke were there too stretched out on roll-away beds. She'd felt awkward sleeping next to Naruto and Iruka so she was curled up in a chair at the foot of the bed.
Tsunade came in late that evening. As much as she hated to leave Naruto's side, she still had responsibilities as the leader of the village. She checked on each of them before changing and slipping into bed next to Naruto. As she pulled him close to her, she wondered what Tenten and Sakura were doing up so late. The two of them were walking by the hospital as she entered the building. The girls were slowly becoming good friends but had they found so much to talk about they wondered the streets late at night? Tsunade yawned and promised herself to talk to them tomorrow. She kissed Naruto's head, lay hers against his and fell asleep.
The moon only had a few hours of dominance left when, Tsunade's eyes flew open and she sat up pushing her hair out of her face to stare down at Naruto. Hearing the squeak of bed springs she glanced up to see Kakashi pushing himself to his feet then on the other side of Naruto, Iruka jerked and turned over. All three of them stared down at Naruto. The teen's chakra had suddenly spiked waking them.
Naruto moaned and shook his head from side to side. That sound finally woke Hinata and Sasuke. "Is he finally waking up?"
"What's going on Kakashi? It looks like a fight between his chakra and the fox's." Sasuke said his Sharingan activated. There centered around Naruto's belly was red and blue chakra pushing at each other.
"That's exactly what's happening. Maybe Jiraiya upset the balance and Naruto has to fight for control again." Kakashi said with his own Sharingan watching the battle of power.
Tsunade lifted Naruto's shirt to check the seal and sure enough it was visible. The seal was as it should be. Jiraiya hadn't changed anything but something was happening inside of Naruto.
"Look!" Kakashi said quietly. The red chakra flared suddenly forcing the blue into a tiny ball. It stayed that way for a second or two before the blue flashed as if it were going out but it blinked on again and forced back the red until it was like a fire being put out by a sudden rain. It flickered and tried to survive but the blue wasn't having it. There was one last flare up before only the blue was left.
They were holding their breaths as Naruto's chakra burned steadily then eased back inside him. The teen took a huge breath then let it out slowly. Color returned to Naruto's face and his breathing was deep and easy.
"Naruto?" Hinata asked. She was at the foot of the bed staring anxiously at him. "Isn't he going to wake up?" She glanced over at Tsunade who was smiling.
"Yes, I think so. Maybe not right now but soon." Tsunade looked up at Iruka. "He came back. He fought to come back! Iruka, he came back!"
Iruka's eyes reflected his happiness. His smile matched Tsunade's. "Yes he did. That's it Naruto, fight like hell and come back to us." He fell back onto his pillow with relief.
Kakashi stared at his friend for a moment then spoke up. "Will you be here when he first wakes up?"
Iruka sat up on his elbows. "Of course! I want to… Oh." He frowned and cursed. "Tell him right away! I'm mean let him wake up and everything but tell him quickly. I won't be far, just out in the hall. Don't make him suffer anymore." Iruka begged of Tsunade.
"I'm sorry Iruka. Yes, I'll tell him quickly but it's still going to be a shock." Tsunade said feeling torn between Iruka's rights as a father and Shizune who'd only been acting out of concern for Naruto. It was Shizune's fault that Iruka wouldn't be here when Naruto first opened his eyes and that Naruto would still think his father dead.
Sasuke and Hinata looked at each other with dread. This wasn't going to be the happy occasion it should be.
Out in the hall they could hear movement. The hospital staff was starting their day. "It's still really early. We should all try and rest a little more. I think we're going to need it." Kakashi said.
A huge yawn from Naruto had them all freezing. As his mouth closed he turned over facing Tsunade. He snuggled down into his pillow and settled back down into sleep.
Tsunade dared to lean down and kiss his forehead and his slight smile brought tears to her eyes. "Oh baby, welcome home."
Hinata sniffed. He looked so normal right now compared to just ten minutes ago. She looked down at her wrinkled clothes then touched her hair. "I- I'm going to run home and clean up!" She whispered excitedly but was reluctant to leave.
"It'll be fine; I think he'll sleep a little longer." Iruka encouraged.
Hinata hesitated only a second longer before climbing up on the bed and holding Naruto's hand for a moment. "Be right back!" She promised before hurrying to the window, opening the curtains and slipping out. Hinata wasn't even going to pretend to act normally. All of her ninja skills were used in getting home as quickly as possible. Her feet never touched the ground.
Sasuke, still in the white pajamas smiled ruefully because he was going to follow the girl's example and look presentable when Naruto woke up. "Uh, me too." He grinned and disappeared out of the window.
Kakashi sighed and looked at Iruka. "You got some clothes here or do you want me to bring you some?" He asked of Iruka and they both laughed softly.
"Please. Just my normal ninja gear. Thanks Kakashi." Iruka said. "I guess you can tell anyone you come across. Just be sure to tell them not to all barge in and use the door?" He glanced at the window the two Chunin had used. Iruka didn't want a bunch of them just jumping in that way.
Kakashi laughed again. "You got it. Later." The curtain shifted with the slightest bit of air as he jumped out of the window closing it behind him.
"And you Mama T?" Iruka asked Tsunade.
"I can't wait to hear that coming from him!" She looked up at Iruka. "You forget I'm here so often, I keep clothes here. Nope I'm going stay here just a little longer and listen to him breathe."
Iruka understood exactly what she was saying. Naruto's back was to him but that didn't matter for now he could actually see him breathing. Before his breaths had been so slight that the both of them would get in his face just to feel any air escaping him.
Both of them got as close as they dared and waited for the light of morning.
The word did spread. Sasuke saw Sakura and Tenten as soon as he left the hospital. The two of them were on guard duty, looking out for Ino. After hearing the news, they decided it was safe to leave Naruto under his parents' care and also headed home to get ready. As they went, they each told another person. Sakura personally woke the Nara household to tell Shikamaru herself.
The hospital staff was shocked to see so many people who weren't hurt at the hospital so early in the morning. At seven o'clock, the corridor outside of the Unimo/Uzumaki room was congested with people.
Inside the room were Tsunade, Iruka, Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura and Hinata. Iruka stood at the door knowing he'd have to leave before Naruto could see him. Everyone looked as they normally did hoping that would make Naruto feel comfortable – that nothing was changed. As they stared at his sleeping form, they had no idea how he would act when he woke.
Grumbling noises came from the bed and there were several quick smiles because it was Naruto's stomach. The guy had a large appetite and that if nothing else would get him up.
Naruto screwed up his face then yawned as he stretched his hands above his head. He wondered what time it was. The sun was crawling across his body and he guess he'd forgotten to close the curtains again. "Dad, what's for breakfast?" He asked sleepily then froze. Dad…is…dead. I got him killed. Naruto turned his face into the pillow and pulled his knees into his chest. He wanted to run away from the pain but there was nowhere to go. Even as the pain threatened to turn him inside out, a part of him knew he was home again. He was in a bed and somebody was there with him but it wasn't Iruka.
He felt the bed dip and a hand touching his head. Naruto knew immediately from her scent that it his mother and he really didn't want to face her. Will she blame me for not saving him? They'd become close friends since we became a family. Family. She can't be my mother anymore!
"Naruto? Honey I know you're awake. Look at me baby." Tsunade was trying hard to stay calm. His first word had been Dad and her heart had stopped but as quickly as he said it, he'd remembered. She stroked his face softly.
He took in a deep breath. No tears, not yet. Naruto relished her touch for a second more before rolling away from it then slowly sitting up. A whole minute passed before he finally opened his eyes. His heart thumped heavily to see them all. One glance at all of them then Naruto dropped his eyes to bed. "I'm sorry."
You could have heard a pin drop the room was so quiet. As it was, Naruto's low words carried out into the hall where Iruka listened, one hand fisted against the wall, the other ready to open the door.
"I'm sorry Lady Tsunade and I'm sorry for causing you all so much trouble." He couldn't look at them again. Naruto noticed he was in a huge bed but didn't think about why. He scooted to the other side away from a dumbfounded Tsunade. As he stood a gloved hand reached down to help him up. Naruto stared at it for a moment before allowing Kakashi to pull him to his feet.
"Naruto…" He started to speak when Naruto's head jerked up to look at him and he was stunned by how old Naruto looked. The teen looked like a man who'd led too hard a life.
"Kakashi-sensei…Thank you for saving my life. I was wrong…for trying to die. I won't do it again." He squeezed Kakashi's hand before gently letting go. "Excuse me; I have to use the bathroom." Naruto's face was set and he only got a few steps away before Tsunade flew across the bed and confronted him. She held his face in her hands and cried.
"Naruto! Stop this! Stop apologizing!" She insisted but he wouldn't meet her eyes directly and finally she gave in and just gathered him into her arms. A sob left Tsunade when all he did was stand there in her embrace.
Sasuke stood with both girls in his arms. Each of them was crying at seeing what loosing Iruka had done to him. That first look was as if he'd been looking at strangers and since then he hadn't acknowledged them at all. The only good thing Sasuke could see since Naruto had woken, was that he was glad Kakashi had saved him. Snap out of it Naruto! Tell him Lady Tsunade – bring him back to us!
Naruto resisted her at first but she was crying so. He slowly lifted his arms and held her. He let his face find her fragrant neck and hid it there. This will probably be the last time I'll have this touch from her. Maybe she's been waiting for me to wake up so that she could cry. Oh Mama T…
Tsunade held him even closer when he finally held her. He was responding to her but his body was still rigid and his breathing was even. Whatever he was feeling, Naruto wasn't going to share it. She sniffed several times and used one hand to wipe away her tears before pulling back to look at him. Vivid blue eyes stared at her. They were clear but so deep it was as if something was hiding in their depths.
Naruto looked at her, memorizing her face. He lifted one hand and smoothed her cheek. "Okay now? I hope you won't grieve long." Naruto leaned close and kissed her cheek then pulled away and escaped to the bathroom.
Tsuande looked up at Kakashi who grabbed her arm as she wobbled. "Is that…Naruto?"
"I'm afraid so. He's pulling away from us and doing a damn good job of it too." Kakashi looked the kids huddled together in confusion. He looked up and saw Iruka in the doorway. The man was angry and devastated.
"Tell him Tsunade! Tell him now. We can't let this happen!" When he heard Hinata sob, Iruka kicked the door. "Snap out of it! If you want him back then damn well let him know it!" He turned his back and began to pace the hall for if he stepped inside that room he would lose it and scare Naruto to death.
Hinata hiccupped as Iruka closed the door. She stood still staring at where he'd been then looked back at Tsunade who was standing up straighter nodding to herself. We can't let his emotions affect us. Naruto believes a lie! He can't deal with anything until he knows the truth about Iruka! "Stop crying Sakura!" Hinata got tissues for the both of them. "He'll be my husband. Naruto won't run from me anymore!" She faced Sakura and Sasuke. "You say he's like a brother to you guys. So let him know that! He's stubborn so we just have to beat him as his own game – right?" Hinata was sick and tired of tears and wanted to smile again. If it took her a lifetime, she and Naruto would be happy!
Sasuke smiled slowly then tensed and relaxed his shoulders several times. "So is okay if I kick his ass a little? Brothers do that to each other." He took Hinata's hand and squeezed it.
"Yes! If he needs it." Hinata returned his smile and they looked at Sakura.
She saw the strength in them. Turning she saw Kakashi wink at her and Lady Tsunade nod. They might have to be mean to him but the result would be a return of the guy they knew a month ago or at least a guy not burdened with blame and guilt. "Okay then I'll help. Just this once, Naruto will feel my fists again!" Sakura held up one fist, the other on her hip and got a smile from all of them.
Naruto relieved himself then washed his hands. He wouldn't meet his own gaze in the mirror but instead put his head beneath the faucet and let the cold water wash away the rest of the fog from his brain. Finally he looked up and nodded. I can do this! No tears here but later… Now I just have to show them I'm okay and get the hell out of here. I'll find Iruka's…body and say goodbye. A huge sigh left him as he forcefully held in the tears. Seeing the whiskers on his jaw, Naruto bought himself a few more minutes by first shaving then brushing his teeth. At last he figured he'd kept them waiting long enough and the sooner he got some clothes, the sooner he'd get to be alone.
He opened the door and found Hinata waiting for him. Before he could put her off or bush her aside, Hinata hugged him. She snuggled close and kissed him intimately on the neck.
Hinata smiled as a huge shiver shook him. He's not immune to me! You're mine Naruto! "I love you Naruto. I'm happy you're home." She stood on tiptoe and kissed the corner of his mouth and was pleased when he seemed to lean into her instead of away. "Come here. We have something to tell you." Quickly she took his hand and pulled him over to one of the chairs and pushed him into it before sinking down into his lap.
He was dying. Don't do this to me! Hinata please… Naruto wanted her touch. He savored her words and the feel of her close to him just made him want to hold her and forget all his sorrows. But I can't forget! Iruka is dead because of me. …And I can't love you…anymore… "Get off of me Hinata." He said coldly then stood abruptly but he was careful, extra gentle as he picked her up and set her on her feet. "I don't have time for this." Naruto looked down at her before going to stand before Tsunade who was in the chair next to him. "I need to see him. Have you…have you buried him yet?"
Like him, Tsunade wasn't going to let Naruto see the pain all this was causing her but for an entirely different reason. "Please sit Naruto. That's what Hinata was talking about. I need to tell you about your father."
Naruto's hands fisted at his sides. He felt Hinata's warmth at his side as she took one of those fists between her hands. "What about Iruka? Is he buried or not?" He paused thinking when she didn't answer right away. "If you're worried about how he looks…I saw it being done to him. I don't care. I want to see him. Take me there now or I'll find him myself!" A hint of desperation could be seen in Naruto now.
Tsunade stood; as usual he wasn't making things easy. She gestured and Sasuke and Kakashi blocked the way to the door. "You will stay and listen to what I have to say first Naruto."
Naruto closed his eyes trying not to say something that would hurt her but if she didn't get on with it… He opened his eyes when Sakura took his other hand and he looked suspiciously at the girls then up at Tsunade. He didn't like the way they were acting and then a horrible thought came to him. "You don't have him do you? What happened to him? They took him?" Naruto bent over as his stomach cramped. The Sound has his body! "Not only is he…dead but they took away his body too?" His eyes began streaming tears losing the battle of indifference. Naruto couldn't breathe and collapsed to one knee.
"Naruto!" Sasuke rushed forward and kept him from going to all fours. "No Naruto! Tell him!" He shouted up at Tsunade.
Sakura stroked his shoulders as Hinata joined the guys on the floor. "No baby, no. Listen Naruto!" Hinata tried to get him pay attention.
Naruto jerked his head away from Hinata and tried to push Sasuke away but he didn't have the strength. "Why? Wasn't it bad enough that I let him die? I let Kabuto kill him! Did they have to - ? I'll kill them. I'll kill them all." He said quietly but the look in his eyes was frightening.
Tsunade shook her head. Never had she imagined just how badly he'd react. "Naruto!" She yelled then leaned down then gripped his chin. "Naruto you don't have to kill anyone. No son you don't!" She spoke before he could. "Because your father is not dead! Iruka is not dead!"
"STOP IT! I KNOW HE'S DEAD! KABUTO TOLD ME HE KILLED HIM. SHIZUNE TOLD ME HE DIDN'T MAKE IT! IRUKA IS DEAD!!" His scream was echoed throughout the entire hospital floor.
Iruka had enough. He pushed open the door to see Naruto being held by Sasuke as he pointed a shaky finger at his mother. "Naruto. I'm here. I'm not dead." He watched as Naruto turned to him then stared in disbelief. "I'm alive son – really." Iruka walked slowly, arms open waiting for Naruto to come to him.
At the sound of his name coming from a voice he never thought to hear again Naruto's head snapped to the left. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Again he found himself without breath and just stared.
It was Iruka. It looked like Iruka. It talked like Iruka. But Iruka was dead. Unable to look at what he most wanted to see, Naruto dropped his head and hung in Sasuke's embrace. "You're punishing me for letting him die. I failed to save his life and now you're going to torture me with this substitution." She must really be mad to do this to me! Mama T… Accusing eyes stared up at Tsunade.
"No! I'd never do that Naruto!" It hurt that he would think that of her. She knew he didn't mean it; he was too far gone to make much sense.
"Shut up Naruto!" Sasuke held him by the shoulders and shook him. "I swear its Iruka. Shizune did lie. Yes, Kabuto tried to kill him but Master Jiraiya found him and brought him to us. Sakura – tell him!"
"Yes it's true! I helped make the antidote for him. It was snake venom but we saved his life Naruto. Look – it is Iruka-sensei, your father!" She directed his gaze at Iruka who stood just a few feet away.
Why do they keep lying to me?! That's not him – Iruka's dead. Shizune said so and none of them said any different! Naruto looked at all of them nodding and saying that it was his father. He slipped his hand into Sasuke's pouch and palmed a kunai. "I guess once wasn't enough? You won't stop until I'm truly a demon." Naruto said softly. He felt their confused gazes as he stood slowly. Finally he faced the person pretending to be Iruka. "I let you die. I already blame myself for that but now I need to kill you with my own hands!" It was the only way to stop the madness.
No one moved fast enough. Hinata screamed. Kakashi cursed. Sasuke and Tsunade watched as Naruto brandished the kunai at Iruka's chest and Iruka do nothing to stop it.
Blood showed through the ninja vest. Naruto had stabbed Iruka right above his heart and just under his collar bone. Iruka held Naruto him. "Believe me now?" He asked softly as shocked blue eyes devoured his face.
"Dad? Dad? DAD?!" A blood stained hand touched the scar across Iruka's nose. He reached up and touched the high ponytail. Naruto blinked rapidly as he touched the hand resting on his face. "It's you!" Naruto gasped and looked down at the kunai still buried in Iruka's chest. "Oh God…" He ripped himself out of Iruka's grip, spun around and tried to run. The only place he could go was out the window and he ran for it.
"Kakashi! Stop him!" Iruka called out as Tsunade rushed to his side. "I'm okay. It's not deep. Naruto realized it was me but wasn't able to stop in time." He told her and grimaced as she pulled it from his flesh. "Leave it a moment." Iruka said grabbing her hand and walking forward.
Hinata moved even faster than Kakashi. She put herself before Naruto. The only way to the window was through her. "It's okay Naruto." It hurt to see the panic on his face. "He's okay." She tried to take his arm but he spun away right into Kakashi's arms this time and the tall man held tight.
What the hell is going on? He was dead. NOT DEAD! I STABBED HIM! Naruto collapsed against Kakashi unable to fight anymore.
"Bring him to me." Iruka said softly as he sat on the bed letting Tsunade heal the slight wound.
Kakashi had trouble for even though Naruto wasn't trying to run he was trembling and shaking his head in denial of everything. "It's okay Naruto. No harm done."
"Wasn't supposed to be – real! Dead. Was dead! Not dead! I could have…" Naruto cried and looked at Iruka on the bed before him. A shaky hand reached out for Iruka. The arms holding him let go and he slid down to the floor then inched to Iruka. "Dad?" He touched Iruka's legs, staring up at him then slowly dropped his head into his lap and lay still.
Hinata hurried over and saw that Naruto was crying quietly, eyes wide open with shock. She sat on her knees and leaned against him offering him her love. He was too messed up now to do anything but be.
Kakashi backed away to Sasuke and Sakura. He pulled them close to him and sighed heavily. Naruto's reaction could not have been predicted. It was hard to believe how one lie told to help had hurt so many people so damn badly. He glanced to the doorway some more of those very people.
Neji held Tenten as she cried on his shoulder. Shino faced the wall, head hidden completely by his hood and shades. Choji ate potato chips that were too salty because of tears. Lee stood as still as a statue and stared at the floor. Shikamaru was squatted down head moving from side to side muttering. Kiba stroked a whining Akamaru and also pulled his hood low over his head.
"Let's go!" Shikamaru surged to his feet, quietly closed the door and led the rest of them away. It was time to give them some time alone. Happy reunions would have to wait. Happy anything may be a long time coming.
Iruka and Tsunade sat on the bed with Naruto still lying on his father's lap, Hinata on the floor beside him. "I'm sorry to shock you so badly Naruto. We really didn't know how to handle this." He slid his hand into Naruto's hair and cupped his head. "…It was decided to let you believe I was dead so that you wouldn't give up. You'd just tried to kill yourself." Iruka paused because it was still hard to accept. "You weren't responding to anything so…you were led to believe I had died and you got up! You got him for me Naruto. Kabuto was paid back for everything he did to us!" Iruka wanted to focus on the positive for now.
"I didn't kill him." Naruto said softly. "I wanted him dead but I was stopped." He spoke automatically.
Hinata's head snapped up. "You blame me?" She had stopped him from that final attack. She knew she shouldn't be upset by anything he said right now but thinking he blamed her for not getting his revenge…
"No." For the first time Naruto responded to her like his old self. He reached out and cupped her cheek. "Orochimaru would have hurt me if you hadn't called out to me. Even as the fox, I could still hear you."
Her smile was radiant and Hinata held his hand to her cheek. Then she watched as he raised his head to look at his father.Naruto sat back on his knees and just stared. "You're alive. Thank God." He sighed and closed his eyes before slumping into Hinata's arms.
"Naruto!" Tsunade jumped up to check him and was quickly reassured. "Asleep. Too much all at once. He's wiped out."
"He's not the only one." Kakashi said and moved forward to once again help carry Naruto to the bed.
"Yes but he's not acting all cold and indifferent anymore. I hope that means he'll open up to us again." Hinata said curling up at the foot of the bed.
"Me too. But I think it's too soon yet." Iruka took off the vest then bloody shirt. He looked down at his chest and touched the place Naruto had stabbed. There was nothing left but blood. Tsunade had healed it completely.
"Weren't you scared Iruka-sensei?" Sakura asked.
He smiled ruefully. "A little. Naruto didn't think I was real. Someone pretending to be me would have defended themselves, when he realized that I wasn't going to, he aimed higher because he couldn't stop. Once he was close enough, he knew the truth." Iruka lay back on the bed just as tired as Naruto. "Knowing the truth now will help him out a lot but we still have to deal with his attempt to kill himself."
"But he told Kakashi he was glad that he saved him." Sasuke said from where he sat slumped in a chair emotionally tired.
"He did but the problem remains. The Nine-Tailed Fox brings him so much trouble whether it be from ignorant villagers or people like Orochimaru. He knows that being who he is – brings trouble. We're going to have to be strong. Naruto worries about us so we'll have to grow stronger so that he knows that we can not only protect ourselves from any outside threats but protect him and his heart too." Iruka looked over at Naruto who faced him. "I'm going to do everything I can so that you can live without fear Naruto."
Tsunade took another chair. Like Sasuke she slid low in the seat and closed her eyes. "I'm so tired. This mothering business is hard! I never imagined he'd blame me or lash out like he did." His grief was horrible. What will happen to him when he really does lose someone? She crossed one leg over the other then closed her eyes. "Think I'll rest some." He's so fragile right now. Somehow we've got to help him see that not everything is his fault.
"It was frightening." Sakura said. "I think I'm going go for a walk. Maybe check on everyone else." She went to the bed and looked down on Naruto. He looked pretty bad and she wondered how they would ever get the old Naruto back. "I'll be back soon Naruto." Sakura stroked his arm then with a small smile at everyone, left quietly.
Kakashi sat on the window sill and looked over at Iruka. "So what next? He's not just going get better now that he knows you're alive. He may even still try to pull away from us."
"We love him." Hinata said quietly. She crawled up beside him and stroked his back then looked at Iruka. "Right?"
He smiled at her. "Right. Let's all rest while he is because the next round will probably be just as intense." Saying this, Iruka sighed and lay down rubbing the spot where he'd been stabbed.
He opened his eyes and saw brown skin. Naruto held his breath then cautiously lifted himself up onto one elbow. Iruka lay sleeping next to him. His chest rose and fell. There wasn't a mark on him. All his wounds had been healed even the one he caused. Naruto closed his eyes in relief then opened them again to be sure Iruka was still there. He was. Dad. You're alive. Alive! I didn't…kill you! Naruto moved closer and lowered his head next to Iruka's arm. He could smell him. It was really him! "Dad." His shoulders shook as he cried in relief.
Feeling the tickle of hair on his bicep, Iruka sleepily opened his eyes to see blond hair. Naruto was hiding his face in the bed, lying close to him. "Come here." He rolled over and pulled a reluctant Naruto into his chest. "It's okay Son. I'm here." Iruka let the teen cry as he held him.
Tsunade opened her eyes and smiled. That was promising. "Anyone hungry?" The room laughed as Naruto's stomach grumbled loudly. "Coming right up Naruto!" She stepped out into the hall to talk to a nurse.
Naruto didn't look up or acknowledge anyone. It was wonderful to know that Iruka was alive and unharmed. Sasuke was here. Sakura was here. But still it didn't change things. As long as he was close to them, they would be in danger. He inhaled deeply of Iruka then slowly pulled away from him.
Iruka was surprised when Naruto moved away and wouldn't look at him. His head was low as he sat up and crossed his legs. Following his lead, Iruka did the same. He got a tissue for Naruto.
"Thanks." Naruto blew his nose then took several deep breaths to compose himself. He heard Tsunade enter the room. "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask - did everyone else come home?" It just occurred to him that there had been many Konoha ninja with Kakashi-sensei. "Nobody died?" He wouldn't look her in the eye.
"Everyone is fine, no causalities." Tsunade answered and went to stand before the bed.
Naruto nodded, once less fear gone. "Good." He jumped because Hinata reached over and took his hand. "Umm, I'm okay and Da- Iruka is okay right? So I should be able to leave the hospital right?"
Iruka and Tsunade frowned at each other. Naruto didn't call him dad. "Where do you want to go Son?" Iruka tried to catch Naruto's eye with no success.
"Just home. I want to go home. I haven't been there in a long time." Naruto shrugged then rubbed his stomach when it growled again.
"No. One more day to satisfy me Naruto and your father should stay off his leg a little longer too. So you both can stay here through tomorrow." Tsunade said carefully.
It was slight but it was seen when Naruto jerked. "Alright. Where's my room?" He wanted to be alone and begin the necessary work of separating himself from their lives.
"This is your room – both of yours. Why do you think the bed is so big Naruto? You've been here with him since you were brought back. Iruka and I wanted to be with you – we were worried about our son." Tsunade silently begged him to look at her.
Damn! They're too close to me. I can feel Hinata's breast against my arm. She smells so good. And Dad, as much as I love being here with him – I don't want to go back to the way it was! Naruto nodded. "Okay but can I have my own room now?"
"No you may not." Tsunade said firmly.
"Is he awake? Hey Naruto!" Sakura hurried to the bed and behind her were two nurses pushing food carts. "So we're finally feeding you? I bet you're hungry. Your stomach is second only to Choji's!" Her eyes were bright and she smiled at him with delight.
Naruto blinked to see her so happy and comfortable with him. He wanted to smile at her but fought the impulse. Carefully he let go of Hinata's hand. "So let's eat." He scooted forward and found Tsunade standing before him. Naruto eased around her and got one of the trays.
There was silence at first as everyone ate but then Hinata started talking. "Father and Hanabi are coming by later. Both of them have missed you Naruto. Hanabi is also bringing flowers so I hope you'll tell her you like them. Don't disappoint her – please."
Naruto glanced up at her. Her lavender eyes showed only love and compassion. He nodded. "I'll be good to her."
"Well good because the guys are coming back too. They're worried about you. Shikamaru's taking what's happened very hard. I don't know, I guess because he made Chunin before the rest of us, he feels sort of responsible for us not getting…to you in time." Sakura finished off quietly.
Naruto's spoon clanged loudly in his bowl. "He shouldn't. This was nobody's fault but mine." He reached for a rice ball and gulped it down angrily.
"It wasn't your fault either Naruto but mine." Sasuke said making Naruto look at him. "Orochimaru wants me remember? Kabuto was only using you to get to me. It's my fault you almost lost Iruka-sensei. I'm sorry Naruto." He put down his tray and went to stand before his friend.
Dark eyes but not cold. Body at ease, hands defenseless. Sasuke wanted forgiveness or he'd take pain if that was what Naruto wanted to do.
Naruto looked away from him. "He may want you but he also wants me dead. He and his lackey. Just…stay away from him and with Kakashi-sensei and you'll be fine Sasuke. You'll be safe as long as I'm not near you." Naruto walked away from Sasuke putting the words in motion. He went to get the extra tray of food that had been delivered.
"And where will you be Naruto? You're a part of this team, are you not?" Kakashi spoke up before Iruka could.
He kept his back turned. "We discussed this before Kakashi. I'm no longer on your team." Naruto poured the bowl of soup down his throat. The plan now was to be an ass and drive them away.
"Oh? And just whose team will you be on?" Tsunade crossed her arms.
"No team. I'm a Chunin – able to go on missions by myself. If you won't send me out – fine. I'll just train until I'm a Jonin and you'll have to use me then."
"You expect to become a Jonin on your own?" Iruka asked coldly.
Naruto shrugged. "It can be done. I damn well will do it – Iruka." He glanced over his shoulder at his father.
"And me? Do you quit me too?" Hinata asked softly as she got off the bed and approached him.
Now came the really hard part. Naruto laughed harshly. "Why not? You'll only slow me down. I can't train you and me at the same time! Find yourself a boyfriend who has time for you 'cause -." He didn't get to finish because of the slap to his face. Naruto grimaced at the pain not only on his face but in his neck. She'd hit him so hard, it had turned his face to the side.
"Good one." Tsunade grinned.
"Selfish bastard! When are you going to stop Naruto?" Hinata glared at him angry as hell.
Naruto rubbed his cheek staring at her in shock. "What are you talking about? Stop what? Damn girl that hurt!"
"Maybe I should hit you next?" Sakura joined Hinata hands on her hips. "You're such an idiot Naruto! We know what you're trying to do and it's not going to happen!"
He backed up a step from the two angry females. Looking for help Naruto caught Sasuke's gaze. "Do you know what they're talking about?" He flinched when Sakura growled.
Sasuke laughed hands in his pockets and stood on the other side of Hinata. "Your girl was mad at me and that was scary enough but this time – your ass is grass Naruto! Hinata's not going let you toss her aside so that you can protect her." He lost his smile now. "Neither are we." He reached out and grabbed Naruto's shirt. "Apparently you haven't been listening to me. You are my best friend, my family now and I'm not giving that up!" He shook him. "You went through some shit – we know that and it messed with your head but that's no reason to push us away in some stupid attempt to protect us!"
"Sasuke!" Naruto gasped. Dammit! They know what I'm trying to do? If I-if I can't push them away then…I'll have to leave them…
"Forget it kid. We're not going to let you leave either." Kakashi laughed when Naruto's eyes widened. "We know you Naruto. As your friends and family we got you figured out. You're not pushing us away and you're not leaving us either." He walked over with a big smile on his face. "You're with us forever Naruto – get used to it."
Iruka still bare-chested went to Tsunade and put an arm around her waist. "So there you have it Son, you're stuck with us. And stop calling us by our names Naruto, were your Dad and Mama T." Iruka smiled at him and Tsunade stuck out her tongue and laughed.
It was what he wanted. It was all he wanted. Naruto stared at them. Sasuke still held him. Hinata was just behind him. Sakura then Kakashi. "You're all fools." Naruto dropped his head then broke Sasuke's hold on him. "Being with me puts you all in danger. So far no one has died." He did look up at Iruka then. "Is that what it's going to take before you finally let me go?" He was surprised at himself. This should hurt but he felt nothing. Nothing at all.
"You have each other." He pointed to Sasuke and Sakura. "And you have both of them and all the other Jonin." Kakashi received his point. "You can still marry and have kids – you don't need me! And you have this whole damn village!" Iruka and Tsunade were his next targets then finally he looked at Hinata. Naruto appeared to have some difficulty now but he made himself. "You're so damn beautiful! …Hinata as much as it would kill me, you must find someone else to love. Give your heart to someone who is not hated by so many people or wanted dead every other day. I love you – I do but I'll only cause you pain. Haven't you been through enough already? All of you?!" He looked up from Hinata's pain filled face to look at the rest of them.
"You love me, I know that but sometimes don't you have to give up what you love when it hurts you? Well that's me!" Naruto paced, his body as taunt as a bow string. How can I make them understand? "I lost Iruka. You were dead simply because you were with me!" He spun around facing everyone. "I wanted to die and I tried." He dropped his head. "I was tired, so tired of it – the pain, the threats, the loneliness, the need to always prove myself. Dying, yeah I wanted it – even if it meant never seeing you guys again." He took a deep breath and looked at them again blue eyes shining. "After…when those bottles were empty it got so quiet. All of it went away, I finally had peace."
Each one of them died then as they saw that peace on Naruto's face before it turned back into pain. They wondered if they'd done the right thing by saving him.
"But it wasn't meant to be." Naruto smiled sadly. "He can't be killed so easily. The Nine-Tailed Fox's desire to live and his power is much too strong to be killed by poison." He'd been kind of slump shouldered as he talked but now Naruto stood up straight. "So I get to live. I live to do as the Fourth wanted. I hold this spirit inside of me until that power is mine and I'm able to protect this village but I'm not strong enough yet so I need to train. More of them will come for me, I accept that. They can attack me, I accept that too but I can't handle it if someone comes after you guys! Back away, throw me away, curse me! Have nothing to do with me and I think they'll leave you alone!" Belief shone in his eyes. To Naruto, everything he was saying was gospel. "Maybe one day, when I've mastered my power, we can be…friends again. Until then…I don't ever want to see any of you again." Naruto stood as if ready for battle. His stance wide, hands at his sides hands clenched and his face full of determination.
He'd staggered them. Doubts filled them and they wondered if Naruto had it right and they were wrong. And everything he was doing was out of love.
"Naruto!" The door opened and Hanabi ran in. Her long hair flew out behind her and in her arms were flowers. She wore a huge smile at seeing him but slid to a halt as her keen eyesight saw tension and sadness in the room's occupants. "Sister? Naruto?" She looked from one to the other.
Hinata blinked and was finally able to look away from Naruto. The man before her was so much more than the man who'd left weeks ago. He loved even more fiercely even as he broke her heart. "Hanabi, hey! Wow, did you leave any flowers in the garden?" She forced a smile then saw her father in the doorway. "Father."
"Did we interrupt something?" Hiashi asked quietly. "We can come back later." He'd seen Naruto's stance and couldn't help but wonder if they'd just prevented a fight from starting.
Naruto closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Hanabi. Did you grow while I was gone?" He walked over to the girl then bent down her. "All this for me? I am a guy you know?" Naruto took the flowers making the girl smile. "…Mama T are there any vases around?" The eyes he turned to her were kind but darker.
"I'm sure we can find some." Tsunade said her voice weak. She left Iruka's side and took Naruto's fragrant burden. "I'll be right back."
Hiashi frowned when she wouldn't meet his gaze. He turned back to look at Naruto, something decidedly different about the boy.
"So what did you master while I was gone?" Naruto took the girl's hand and led her over to one of the chairs. He sat and pulled her into his lap. "What is it?" Hanabi was staring at him.
She shook her head. "I don't know. You seem different. You look different too." Hanabi looked at Naruto trying to figure out what was missing.
"Well I am in the hospital. I'm just a little tired that's all. Come on, talk to me. What's been going on with you?" Naruto smiled at her and tapped her nose.
Hanabi shook it off and smiled at him then launched into everything that had been going on with her while he'd been gone.
It was a peculiar scene. Naruto sat with Hanabi on his lap talking and joking with her but it was as the girl said – he was different. Naruto laughed and smiled but what was missing was his happiness. He was going through the motions beautifully, a stranger would never have known the difference but they all could see it. Whatever it was that made him smile and laugh like a fool before was no longer there. Kabuto, the poison or maybe it was learning that he couldn't die had drained away that happiness.
They let Hanabi carry on for almost an hour. He seemed like the Naruto of the past when he was with her but finally she ran down."So will you tell me about your trip?" Hanabi looked up at his smiling face. "I know! You look older!" She blinked. It was true; Naruto didn't look like a teenager anymore. His face was a harder and the light in his eyes had changed. "Are you really okay Naruto?" She stroked his hard jaw.
He stiffened then smiled for her. It was a true smile this time. The light came back. "I am. Don't worry about me Hanabi." He drew the girl close and shut his eyes tight.
They way he was holding Hanabi as if she were something precious, someone he was loathed to give up helped them to know who was right in all this.
"Hanabi. Kiss Naruto and say bye for now. I believe you've worn him out." Hiashi said gently. No one had said a word as the girl and teen talked but he'd seen something change in them when Naruto hugged his daughter and he wanted in on this next talk. "I'd like to welcome Naruto home as well then I'll take you out to dinner. Would you like that?"
"You'll take me out?" Hanabi pulled back to look at her father excitedly. This was new; he'd never taken her out before. "Really?"
"Yes, really!" Hiashi laughed delighted to see her so happy.
"Mmwah! Love you Naruto! Welcome home!" Hanabi kissed his cheek then squeezed him with her thin arms. Laughing she jumped off his lap, bowed to everyone then ran to her father. "I'll be down in the garden okay?" She pulled him down until she could kiss his cheek. "See you later!" Hanabi waved to Hinata and Naruto then skipped out of the room.
Naruto sighed heavily. She was a lovely little girl full of life. He couldn't help but respond to her but it had taxed him greatly. He crossed his arms then one leg over the other. "It's bad enough saying goodbye to you guys but the kids…Hanabi and Konohamaru – damn." He shook his head then stood up ready to leave them.
"Excuse me? Explain yourself Naruto." Lord Hiashi said sharply.
Naruto looked at him in surprise but remembered that Lord Hiashi hadn't been there earlier. He walked over to the man. He stood before Hinata's father and there was clear admiration on his face. "I'm leaving the village. I thought I could stay…anyway I can't. It's going be hard on everyone – Hinata and Hanabi especially." Naruto looked over at Hinata and he was surprised at her blank expression. "I fell in love with your daughter. She's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me so I can't regret loving her but I wish I didn't have to cause her pain now. I'm sorry." He looked from daughter to father. "And you sir, thank you for accepting me and letting me be a part of your family. You'll never know how much that meant to me – really." Naruto went ahead and hugged him. He doubted he'd get a second chance.
"So I'm going to head home now, pack my stuff." Naruto looked at them all. "I've got other people I should say goodbye to." He shook his head in dread at having to do that. Maybe he'd just say he was going on a mission to spare them and himself. "Take care of Hinata." He said not speaking to anyone person. Naruto stepped away from Lord Hiashi and prepared to walk out of the hospital room.
"He hit his head didn't he?" Lord Hiashi asked Tsunade. "He must have if he thinks I'm just going let him leave!" He gripped Naruto's arm in a harsh grip. "Hinata – are you going to let him leave?" Hiashi simply couldn't believe that she or any of them were going to let him go so easily. "Tsunade!"
"Of course not Father." Hinata smiled at her father. "Naruto is never leaving me again." Her gaze went to the shocked teen still held by her father. "No more Naruto. This is your home – our home. You'll train here and grow stronger. You'll propose to me and we'll be married. Sorry Iruka-sensei, Dad but if you don't get a move on, we will have children before you do." She giggled to hear him groan.
"Cut me a break Hinata!" Iruka chuckled.
"WAIT A MINUTE! JUST HOLD ON! I'M LEAVING – REMEMBER?!" Naruto yelled and jerked on his arm but found he couldn't break away from Lord Hiashi's grip. He took a deep breath. "Look, I explained it already – you'll be safer if I'm gone! Hinata think!"
"She is thinking Son, it's you who isn't." Iruka said moving towards him. "Lord Hiashi I wish I could say that he has hit his head but no, he's got some mixed up gene in him or something that just makes him stupid. It showed itself clearly when he was in the academy. I'd hoped by now it had gone dormant but it's apparently resurfaced." Iruka shook his head then smiled as Sasuke and Sakura couldn't help but laugh.
"Dad – Iruka, if I'm around you're all in danger!" Naruto yelled as his father stopped before him.
"And if we die because you're not around to save us?" Iruka countered softly. "So you're not here, you don't think they'll attack anyway? Anybody who comes looking for you and find you gone – don't you think they're going to attack or torture one of us trying to get information on you? Or we could die on a mission or because of a stupid freak accident! What will you do then Naruto? You can't take the blame for every bad thing that happens! As important as you are to all of us, you aren't that damn important!"
Naruto's mouth snapped closed. They could die when I'm not here. I'd never see them again. But still… "Iruka -."
"Will you stop that that?! You can't call me that anymore! I'm your DAD! And Tsunade is Mama T! You can't take it back or give it up Naruto. You have parents and a girlfriend and friends! You said you can't die well you can't damn well leave either!" Iruka glared down into Naruto's stubborn face.
"I'll leave without your permission. One day I'll just up and disappear Iruka!" Naruto got in Iruka's face.
He hit him. Iruka pulled back his fist and sent Naruto flying into the wall behind him. "Like hell." He stalked to the boy slumped against the wall pulled him up and hit him again. "You'll do no such thing! If I have to sit on you day and night – I will. You thought you were watched before? You ain't seen nothing yet!" Iruka shook him.
Hinata walked over to him and stared down at Naruto's bloody face. "Even if you do mange to leave Naruto, I'll just follow you. Nuh-uh," She shook her head before he could speak. "Doesn't matter if I do lose your trail because I'll never come home again if I don't have you with me. You leave then I leave never to see my family or Konoha again. If anything happens to me then that will be your fault! Now what will you do Naruto?" She dared him.
Naruto blinked. "You wouldn't. You couldn't." His heart skipped a beat.
"But she would. If there's one thing I've learned about Hinata is that she means what she says." Sasuke moved closer. "She'll follow you, I might as well." Sasuke rubbed his chin. "You attract danger like flies to food Naruto. Sooner or later you'll come across Itachi, so if I follow you as well I may get the chance to avenge my family." He squatted down to better see Naruto's eyes. "Will you be there to back me up or leave me to fight my greatest battle alone? Would you leave me to die Naruto?" His dark eyes held Naruto's blue ones.
Iruka/Dad, Hinata and Sasuke - all wanting and expecting something he wasn't sure he was capable of giving anymore. He wanted to run and never stop running but he knew they would chase him. It was satisfying to know they cared so much and scary as hell. Naruto couldn't look at them anymore and covered his face with his hands. His head went from side to side. "It's a mistake." Naruto whispered. "You're making a mistake. You'll regret this someday." He turned over onto his side and blanked them all from his sight then tuned them out.
It was a pitiful sight and Iruka couldn't ignore him. "Naruto." He sat down against the damaged wall and rubbed the teen's head. "You'll see, one day you'll say – 'Dad you were right and I was wrong.' You will and I'll make sure there are witnesses and pictures and everything." He teased his son as he always did but Naruto didn't respond.
"Hmm, has this been going on since he woke up?" Lord Hiashi asked as he walked over to Tsunade. "If so, it's no wonder you all look like you been on an S ranked mission."
"Our son has very strong emotions and he brings them out in all of us." She gave the Hyuga clan leader a quick hug. "Thanks for stopping by with Hanabi. He just about had us convinced to let him go when she showed up. Naruto couldn't run from her and tried hard to be his old self for her happiness, that's when we knew. If he could do it for her then he's able to do it for us as well. It's what his heart wants if not his head." Tsunade was breathing easier, Lord Hiashi was a calming presence for her. "You'd better go, Hanabi's waiting for that special dinner with her handsome father. We've got things under control here for now."
Hiashi would rather stay and help bring Naruto around but there were enough people here already and looking at Naruto, one more person was one too many. "You're right. My Hanabi deserves a big treat for her work here today." He gave Tsunade another quick hug. "Good luck My Lady." Hiashi went to Hinata and swept her up. "Be strong daughter. He's worth fighting for."
Hinata was comforted by her father's words and touch. She soaked in his strength and serenity. "I know. I love you Father and please kiss Hanabi for me. Tell her Naruto and I will take her out soon too." Hanabi had saved Naruto from himself.
Hiashi laughed. "I will!" He stroked her face, more proud of her with every growing minute. Then he turned to Naruto. Hiashi could tell that Naruto was under great stress and pressure. "Naruto, if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. My home is your home. I look forward to hearing you call me father." He leaned down and touched Naruto's shoulder. "I love you boy."
Naruto shuddered and peeked up at him. Lord Hiashi had always been a frightening man. It was only when he and Hinata had become a couple that he'd known what a gentle man he could be. Naruto wasn't afraid of him anymore, certainly not now. "Lord Hiashi…thank you." He managed softly and even found a smile for him.
Hiashi nodded then looked at Iruka. "He's a good boy. He won't leave you. Maybe that's enough for today. You both look like you could use some rest." This time he patted Iruka's bare shoulder as he walked away. "I'll see you all soon." Lord Hiashi bowed then quietly left the room.
Silence. It seemed to be the pattern. Big emotional scenes followed by silence. It was already late afternoon and they'd been going back and forth all day. Naruto rolled over on his back to stare up at the ceiling. One hand hit Iruka's thigh. He started to pull it away but in the end left it where it lay.
"Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi – go home. You've all had a long day and haven't seen your own beds in a while. Naruto and Iruka will stay here as planned. Tomorrow – he will still be here tomorrow." Lady Tsunade said going to each of them offering a kiss or touch of gratitude. She went to stand over Naruto. "That's right isn't it Son?"
Naruto met her gaze but said nothing. For several long minutes he just stared at her then he gripped Iruka's thigh and pushed himself up. Now he looked at Iruka, first at his chest where there was a bit of blood left then up into his eyes. "Dad." He nodded then stood. "Mama T. I'll be here tomorrow." He didn't say he'd be there for every tomorrow but just the next day.
Tsunade let out a relieved sigh and took him into her arms. "Don't leave me Naruto. I couldn't stand it!" She whispered into his ear then she shed a few tears as he hugged her back this time like he'd done in the past. "My son…my boy."
"Come on guys. We have his promise." Kakashi said. He pulled Iruka to his feet. "You need us – just call." He slapped Iruka's arm then patted Naruto's head on the way out of the room.
"Iruka-sensei." Sakura bowed then let her hand briefly touch mother and son.
"Go on home Sasuke, if only for a little while. You can come back if you wish. Just go relax for a few hours then you can come back and maybe have a real talk with Naruto, okay?" He'd looked reluctant to leave. Iruka said with one arm around the teen.
Sasuke blinked up at him then smiled. "Thanks Iruka-sensei. I will." He walked over to Naruto who turned to look at him. He still looked as if the world was pressing down on him and Sasuke wanted only to see him smile. "I'll keep everyone else away Naruto for now. I know you need time but I hope you'll spare me some of it. I've so much to tell you." Sasuke stepped closer. "They love you man! At least bend enough to let them show you! It's what you need and what everybody wants."
Naruto could see Sasuke's pain then. Sasuke wanted what he, Naruto had and it made him feel like an idiot. Naruto reached out and took Sasuke's shoulder. "I'll be waiting for you." It was said soberly but honestly and it made Sasuke smile.
"I'll see you later then." Sasuke nodded and gripped Naruto's hand. Finally he let go and left them but not before looking back on what he hoped would be a new beginning for them all.
"You should go home too Tsunade. As Hokage you don't much rest as it is. Take the rest of the day for yourself, we'll be okay. Right Naruto?" Iruka joined them completing the circle.
It was a losing battle trying to hold out against them and for now he was just too damned tried to try. "Go home Mama T. …I don't mean to make you suffer so much." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "The village needs you to be strong. I guess I'm not going anywhere." He shrugged tiredly.
Like Sasuke, Tsunade would rather stay but they had been through a lot. So much had happened in such a short time and truthfully she did need some time to gather her thoughts. They had to find the right words to convince Naruto to stay permanently. She leaned forward and kissed Iruka lightly on the lips then her son's cheek. "You two take care of each other. No more fighting and I'll probably come back too. I can't seem to stay away from you." Tsunade held his chin and kissed him again. She turned to leave and saw Hinata standing quietly by the bed.
"Have a nice rest Lady Tsunade." Hinata bowed her head slightly.
"Hmm, thank you." Hinata's place in all of this was just as important, maybe more so than her own. Tsunade left without another word and though she had Naruto's promise, she arranged for guards to watch their room. He wouldn't step one foot out of the hospital without somebody following him.
Awkwardness was left for the three of them. The room felt way too big now. There was so much left say but no ambition to say it. Nobody knew exactly where to look or how to pass the remaining hours of the day.
"I think I'll go wash up a bit and find a clean shirt. I should put some ice on my hand too. That jaw of yours is hard!" Iruka said trying to keep the tone light.
"I hurt you again?" Naruto looked down at the bruises on Iruka's knuckles then felt his lip. It was already healed of course. "I'm sorry…Dad." He shook his head.
"You didn't hurt me. I hit you remember and it just a couple of bruises Naruto." Iruka gripped his shoulder.
"But this wasn't." Naruto lightly ran his finger over dried blood – the place where he had stabbed Iruka.
"It's healed and forgotten. It was an accident. I've been hurt worse at the academy." Iruka sighed cupped Naruto's neck and pulled him close. "I know you blame yourself but I don't! It was an impossible situation and considering everything I'm glad you acted instead retreating back into that coma. Nothing touched you then – nothing and that was way scarier than you coming at me with a kunai. "I've got lots to say and even more I want to hear from you Naruto but now, let's just take it one moment at a time. I'm going to go hide in the bathroom for a few minutes and leave you two alone." He pushed Naruto away until he could see the teen's face. "Just remember, she loves you. Stop running Naruto." Iruka gripped him hard by the neck, touched his jaw lightly then with a hopeful smile at Hinata, went to the bathroom and left them alone.
At first they stared at each other before Naruto walked over to the window and leaned against the wall to stare out the day. "I feel as if it should be raining. The sky should be slate gray and black. Lightning should strike something and set it ablaze. The wind should be strong enough to knock down a man. It's as if the weather is mocking me." Naruto stared up into the cloudless sky. "Where's the damn rain?" He could see it so clearly, that storm. Naruto wanted to strip naked and stand in the middle of such a storm because then he would feel as if he truly belonged for it was storming just like that inside him.
"I understand but for me it's fog. I know you're there close to me and I can even see your profile. I just can't seem to find you. Your image is distorted and no matter which direction I go – I'm lost." Hinata pushed her long hair over her shoulder and walked to stand across from him at the window.
Blue eyes to lavender. Man to woman and a chasm between them that seemed endless. "You shouldn't love me."
"I do love you."
"Haven't I hurt you enough? Is loving me worth that pain?"
"You almost killed me Naruto. Before my eyes…I saw you dying because-because you wanted to. You wanted to save us and you wanted no more pain. It was the bravest, most selfless and stupidest thing you've ever done and you know what? It only made me love you more." She couldn't stop the tears as her eyes caressed what her hands didn't dare touch.
His confusion at her words froze him. "That doesn't make any sense Hinata. You should hate me not love me!"
She shook her head. "No, well for a while yes, I did hate you but I still love you too. Don't you know Naruto, it was your pain and determination that first caught my attention. So much pain yet you went on. You never gave up but this time you did." Hinata looked out the window trying not to see his still body and empty bottles of poison. "I forgive you, you fell or rather you were pushed so hard that you couldn't find a way up again but you were alone then." She dared to step forward. "I won't leave you to face that pain alone anymore. Give some of it to me Naruto, let me share the burden because whether you let me or not I feel it." Her hand pressed hard to her heart. "It's there when you're standing across from me. It's there when I'm in my home and you're in yours. It's there when you went hundreds of miles away and I was here waiting on you to return." Hinata now stood before him. "It's there always because it's here too." She touched his heart. "Since it's already mine, why not share it? Don't you take my pains with you wherever you go? Didn't you wonder about me while you were gone, if things were going well with me?"
He hated to see her looking so torn up. She was suffering…for him. "Of course I did! You were always with me! In my thoughts, in my dreams…in my heart." Naruto covered her hand with his own then pulled to him. He kissed her temple and spoke softly. "I don't want to love you." At her gasp of pain, Naruto just held on tighter. "But I can't stop myself. I'll only hurt you but letting you go seems impossible. If I leave – you'll follow. I think-I think even if I did leave, I'd come back for you." One hand cupped her head. Hinata's trembling lips caressed his neck. His other hand circled her waist tightly. In seconds their heartbeats became one beat. "I don't know if I can be who I was before. I don't feel like me anymore Hinata – it's not you who's lost but me." Naruto's tears fell into her hair.
"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. I'm here Naruto. I've got you. We'll find you again! As long as I'm here, you'll never be lost! I love you so much!" Hinata clutched at him. She stood on tiptoe to kiss his face and they stumbled back into the wall and still she pressed closer as if she wanted to get inside him, be with him and never be parted.
Iruka watched from the bathroom as the lovers cried and held on to each other. They were hope. The two of them together could accomplish so much as long as they stayed together. He made a second vow, to cherish Hinata for it was she and her unconditional love that was going to bring Naruto back to himself and to the rest of them.