When he got inside he heard the sound of banging drawers coming from Santana's room. Sebastian took a deep breath before knocking on her door.
"Go away!" Santana yelled drunkenly.
"Santana, please.. Let me in.."
"Fuck you, Sebastian! Fuck you, and your boyfriend with a dick!"
"He's not my boyfriend. Can I see you? Please, just hear what I have to say. If you listen and still want me to leave, I will."
Santana opened her door and Sebastian saw she was in his Dalton hoodie and a pair of sweat pants. Behind her was every bag she owned on her bed, sloppily stuffed with her clothes and other belongings. "What?.."
"Santana, I am so sorry. I don't blame you if you won't forgive me. But I love you. I'm an asshole and I know that. I don't deserve someone like you. But I need you to know how much I love you. Please don't leave because of me.. I-I.. I don't know what I'll do if you're not in my life.. Please, San.. Don't go to Ohio."
"Really? Because you called me a psycho bitch at that party!" She slurred, smacking his chest hard, but not enough to actually hurt, albeit that was her intention.
"You are a bitch. But I love that about you. I love everything about you." Sebastian grabbed her wrists and pulled her close. "Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing towards me?"
Santana had tears in her eyes. "Let me go! Does it even matter?! I'm your second choice! You don't.."
"You're not my second choice. I was being stupid. I just felt like I used to. Before us.. It didn't mean anything, I swear. I want you. You're the one I love. And if you don't want me back.. I'll have to find a way to be okay. But please don't move back to Ohio. You have so much here."
"You're the only thing I had here!.. A-And I'm so mad at you.. I'm mad at you!" She sobbed, trying to pull away.
"Santana.. You have school, dance and cheer. You're doing so well. And I'm here. I know you're mad. But I'm not going anywhere." Sebastian said softly. "I swear, if you stay here in this apartment, I will spend every moment outside of school dedicated to making this up to you. I will do anything. Anything to get you to stay."
Santana's lip trembled. "I am too good for you!.." She sobbed weakly. Sebastian couldn't help but smile. He knew she was just drunk.
"You are. But you loooove me." He said in a childish tone. He couldn't help but grin as he thought of one of Santana's favorite movies, Miss Congeniality. "You think I'm gorgeous.. You want to kiss me.. You want to hug me.. You want to love me.. You want to smooch me.. You want to hug me.."
Santana growled, halfheartedly trying to push him away.
"I'm sorry. This isn't funny. But I'm serious. Please don't leave, Santana.."
Santana stopped struggling as she looked up at him. "This.. This doesn't mean I forgive you.."
"I know." Sebastian sighed.
She nodded. "I'm still dating Peter.."
"Patrick?" Sebastian chuckled.
"Whatever. Yeah." She drawled before looking up at him. "I don't.. I don't feel good."
"Come on." He said, quickly picking her up and taking her to the bathroom. He held her hair back and rubbed her back to soothe her. Santana threw up until she was just dry heaving. "Oh my god.." She whimpered. "I hate this."
"I know.. Do you want some water? Tylenol?"
"Water..And bed.."
Sebastian got a rag and wiped her face and put her to bed before getting a glass of water. "Can I do anything else?"
"Lay with me."
Sebastian climbed in next to her and held her close.
"I'm still dating Preston.. And I still hate you."
"I know." Sebastian said, trying to hide his smile.
She nuzzled under his neck. "Good."
Sebastian rubbed her side as he hummed softly.
"I miss when you'd sing to me.."
"I love singing to you.."
"Will you?.."
Sebastian took a deep breath before singing softly.
"I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you But I remember
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me.."
Santana closed her eyes, listening to his voice.
"I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took that you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall you and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember what it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me.."
Santana's breathing evened out as she rubbed over his chest.
"The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend...
I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me.." Sebastian finished, a tear slipping down his cheek. Santana was asleep against him, breathing peacefully. Sebastian breathed out shakily. He was glad she was here. But he knew he had a lot to do to make things okay with them. He leaned down, kissing her forehead lightly. He knew she still loved him too. But if he didn't do anything to make it right, she wouldn't let herself come back to him.
The next morning, Sebastian got up to clean the bathroom and get more water and some medicine for when Santana woke up. He walked into her room and sat on the edge of her bed. She looked so beautiful. After the break up they barely ever even saw each other. He'd see her on his way out in the morning and she'd leave as he came home. Sebastian sighed as he watched her. He missed her so much. Santana groaned as she stretched, rubbing her face.
"Good morning.."
"Oh my god.." She mumbled. "What are you doing in here?.."
"You asked me to stay with you. I brought you water.." Sebastian said carefully.
"Did I get like super drunk and get back together with you?.."
"Just the first part. You made it clear that you hate me."
"Good." She sighed, sitting up and tying up her hair. "Thank you.."
"Do you want breakfast?"
She took the Tylenol and downed half the glass of water. "I don't know.."
"Okay.. Well I'll leave you alone. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you." Sebastian said quietly before heading to the living room.
Santana scoffed. Oh god this was pathetic..
Sebastian grabbed a blanket and laid on the couch. He had barely slept the night before.
Santana came out an hour later in a casual dress, her hair up in a long ponytail. Sebastian offered a small smile but didn't say anything. She grabbed her bag. "I'll be back later. Do you need anything?"
"No thanks. Have a good day.."
She nodded, walking out.
Sebastian waited a few minutes to make sure she wasn't coming back before cleaning the apartment. When he was done, he ran to the store and got a few things. He wanted to make dinner for Santana. It was something he'd never made before. But he was a pretty good cook, so it couldn't be too hard. He prepared what he needed to and let it bake in the oven. When he was finished, Sebastian smiled to himself. It didn't look too bad.
Santana came back just as Sebastian set the plates on the table.
"Hey.. I umm.. I made enchiladas.."
Santana hung her bag up and looked over the table. "Oh wow.."
"Are you hungry?" Sebastian asked.
"Yeah. I was going to get something with what's-his-face.. But I wanted the leftover takeout."
"Oh, okay." Sebastian said, taking the second plate and putting it away.
"Hang on. I didn't say I didn't want this instead."
Sebastian tried not to smile as he put her plate back. "Here.. I'll dish some out for you."
Santana nodded, giving a light smile. Sebastian made their plates and poured them each a glass of wine before pulling her chair out. Santana rolled her eyes but smiled as she sat. Sebastian sat across from her and cut a bite from himself. His eyes went wide as he tasted the dinner. "Oh god.. Don't.."
Santana grinned. "Oh, now I have to."
Sebastian swallowed as he shook his head. "Please don't."
Santana bit her lip before she took a bite. "Oh my god.."
"I know." Sebastian sighed as he stood. "It's disgusting."
Santana swallowed the dry mouthful. "It's not terrible. I mean I could eat it if I had to."
"It's not good. You don't have to pretend." Sebastian said as he started to clean.
"I'm not pretending. I have no reason to. I'll have to show you how to make it the right way one day."
"I'd like that.."
"Want to share my leftovers?" She asked softly.
"Sure." Sebastian smiled as he cleared the table.
"I'm going to go change." Santana said softly.
"Okay."
Santana returned in a pair of sleep shorts and Sebastian's Dalton hoodie. "I'm starving."
Sebastian smiled as he looked down. "Yeah.. Me too.."
Santana saw the smile. "I'm just wearing this because I haven't gone to the laundromat.. Hurry up and heat up your plate."
Sebastian rolled his eyes as he warmed up their dinner. Santana sighed. She didn't even believe herself anymore. But she was still mad at him. She couldn't give in anytime soon. Sebastian gave her a plate and worked on his own. After they both got their plates, they both sat on the couch.
"So.." Santana said, biting into an eggroll. "I'm really sorry about last night. I was just being a huge bitch. And I'm sorry I hit Alexander. But he did throw champagne on my two thousand dollar dress."
"I know. I already took it to get it clean." Sebastian said, looking at the tv. "I know you probably don't care.. But we aren't talking now."
Santana pushed her rice around with her fork. "Why not?"
"Long story short.. I couldn't give him all of me. It wasn't fair to him.."
Santana nodded. "That sucks."
"He umm.." Sebastian sighed deeply. "He told me he loved me.."
Santana looked over quickly. "He what?!" She caught herself. "I mean. You guys were only dating like.. A month.."
"Not even." Sebastian said.
"How do you feel about that?.."
"Do you really want to know?"
"Why wouldn't I?.." Santana asked carefully.
"When I started spending more time with him.. I thought there could be something." Sebastian turned to face Santana. "But honestly, I can't love him because I'm in love with you. I mean, I knew I loved you. But I know now that it's more than that. I'm in love with you, Santana. I'm not expecting you to say it back. I just want you to know.."
Santana pushed her food around her plate. "Okay. Well. I'm sorry it didn't work out with you guys."
"There was no chance it would've. Just proved how much of an idiot I am." Sebastian shrugged. "I'm not hungry anymore. I think I'm going to go out."
"Okay.." Santana said quietly.
Sebastian put his plate away and went to his room. He couldn't handle seeing her after what he said. He got dressed and decided to go to the bar. When he got there, he ordered two shots right away.
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "So, did she kick you out?" He asked, pouring his shots.
"No."
"What happened?" Kurt asked, sliding them over to him.
"I tried to make dinner. It sucked. I told her I was in love with her. She said he was sorry about Alex and I.." Sebastian sighed before tossing back one shot then the other.
"Do you really think she doesn't care about you?.." Kurt asked, leaning against the bar.
"I know she does. But she doesn't want to be together."
"Just give her time. And can I give you some advice?.."
"Yeah.."
"You know her better than anyone. And you should know she hates bullshit. Stop trying so hard." Kurt sighed.
"What?" Sebastian said quickly. "What am I supposed to do? Sit back and do nothing?"
"No. But don't turn into the guy that waits on her hand and foot trying to get her to forgive you." Kurt shrugged.
"Then what should I do, Kurt?" Sebastian asked, rolling his eyes.
"Just don't be a tool. Offer to take her out every once in a while. Act like you did before you started dating.. Without the stranger sex.."
"Can I have another?"
Kurt nodded, pouring him a double.
About an hour later, Sebastian was beyond drunk. Kurt sighed. He knew he would have to walk him home. He wiped down the bar as Sebastian rambled on about Santana.
"It's time to go." Kurt said when he closed down the bar.
"Kurt..She was wearing my hoodie.." Sebastian groaned.
"I know. I know. Come on." Kurt sighed as he put an arm around him.
Sebastian leaned against him as they walked out. "She hates me.."
"No she doesn't."
"She said she did.." He slurred.
"You know she was lying." Kurt sighed. Sebastian groaned, stumbling but Kurt held him up. Kurt listened to his rambling until they got to the apartment. "Where are your keys?"
"I.." Sebastian leaned back against the wall, feeling over his pockets. "I dunno.."
Kurt groaned as he knocked on the door. Hopefully Santana was home. Kurt looked up as a man opened the door. "Um.. Hi?"
"Oh, sorry. I'm Patrick.. Can I help you?"
"Yeah.. I need to get him to his room.."
"Oh my god. Of course!" Sebastian groaned.
"Oh, hey Sebastian!" Patrick said as he stepped aside.
"Hey, Parker." Sebastian scoffed as Kurt helped him inside.
"Stop talking." Kurt said as he tried to hurry Sebastian to his room.
Sebastian saw Santana on the couch as Kurt practically dragged him. "Have a good fucking night."
"Oh, I am. You might need some headphones." Santana said coolly.
Sebastian groaned, trying to walk back to her but Kurt was stronger.
"No. Come on. You're going to bed." Kurt said as he dragged Sebastian.
Sebastian gave up and let Kurt lead him. "Kurt.." He whispered.
"She's trying to piss you off. Don't let her."
"I don't want him to touch her." He got out as Kurt sat him on the bed.
"I doubt he will." Kurt said seriously.
Sebastian just looked down, his eyes filling with tears. "I'd deserve it.."
"Stop it. You're an ass. But she shouldn't be doing this."
Sebastian looked up at Kurt. "It's none of my business. She might really like him.."
"Get some rest. I'll talk to her."
Sebastian nodded, climbing under his blankets, not even bothering to remove his shoes.
"I'll call you tomorrow." Kurt said before heading to the living room. "What is wrong with you?"
Santana was curled up with Patrick. "Um.. I'm on a date."
"You don't even like him."
Santana stood and pulled into him into the kitchen. "You don't know what I like, okay? Patrick is nice. And I might sleep with him tonight, and if I do, that is my business.."
"If you do, you need to tell Sebastian to move on." Kurt said seriously.
"Why do you care?.." Santana asked seriously.
"You're both my friends. He fucked up and he knows it. You have no idea how much he is tearing himself up for it. But he doesn't deserve listening to you fuck some other guy!"
Santana crossed her arms. "I know how he feels. You know what he did to me.. I had to listen to him fuck Alex!"
"You wanted that! That was different. Once you two were done you didn't have to see or hear anything."
Santana turned away. "I don't care. I-I just.. I don't care."
"I know that's bullshit! But if you're going to act like this, let him move on."
"No!" Santana said quickly.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I get making him work for you. But this.. This is fucked up. And if you keep it up, you don't deserve him either. You need to figure out exactly what you want and stop playing games. This isn't high school. Stop being such a bitch!"
Santana spun around to face him, her anger clear. "You have no right. You don't understand what I'm going through! You have your perfect relationship with your perfect boyfriend in your perfect house.. So just fuck off!"
"And I'm trying to help you! But if you want to turn on the only friends you have, you're on your own."
Santana looked down. "I-I'm sorry.. I just.." She sighed deeply.
"Be honest. Do you like whoever that guy is in there? Is there anything there?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know.." She whispered. "He's hot. He's nice."
"Do you want to try being with him? Try sleeping with him to see if it's just Sebastian? What are you thinking?" Kurt asked.
"I don't want to want Sebastian anymore. But.. if he stops wanting me. I don't know what I'll do.."
"You can't have him and someone else. He won't chase you forever. And if you let him get over you.. It's done. For good."
"I-I know..And I'm a super shitty person for all of this..But.. I want him to work for me. But it just feels like he thinks doing nice things for me is what's gonna get me back."
"He's trying too hard. I told him to stop." Kurt shrugged.
Santana sighed. "I won't sleep with Patrick. But, it's too late to ask him to go home.."
"So.. What're you going to do?"
"I might just have him sleep over. On the couch."
"Okay. But don't make Sebastian think you two hooked up. Please. Whenever one of you gets upset, I'm the one that has to fix it."
She nodded, chuckling. "Maybe you should get a new job."
"Maybe I will." Kurt smiled. "Be good."
"I promise.." She said, hugging him. Kurt kissed her cheek before leaving. Santana walked off to the couch and cuddled back up to Patrick. "I'm sorry about that.."
"It's okay. Should I go?"
"No, it's like three in the morning.." She giggled, looking up at him.
"Okay." Patrick chuckled, pulling her closer.
Santana bit her lip. What if she did like Patrick? What if it was best for them both to move on? She turned over, pressing her chest against his.
"Santana.. You're so beautiful.." Patrick whispered as he looked into her eyes.
Santana smiled wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you.."
Patrick brought a hand up to cup her cheek. "Can I.." He asked quietly as he leaned in slowly. Santana let out a slow breath as she nodded. Patrick smiled as he closed the space between them. Santana moved her lips with his before opening her mouth, trying to get into it. Patrick moaned as he slipped his tongue inside. He gripped her hips, pulling her closer. Santana's eyebrows knit together as she climbed into his lap. Part of her felt like she wasn't good enough for Sebastian. Patrick let his hands roam up and down her sides before sliding them around to squeeze her ass. Santana gasped before pulling away. "Patrick.."
"Yeah, babe?" Patrick breathed out.
Santana slid off of him and sighed softly. "I think I'm gonna head to bed.."
"Is that an invitation?" Patrick grinned.
Santana bit her lip. "I-I'm sorry, but no.."
"So, you really are just a tease." Patrick sighed, shaking his head.
"Excuse me?.."
"At first, I understood wanting to get back at Sebastian. But then you invite me here and get all flirty and shit for nothing."
"For nothing? I'm sorry I didn't realize I was supposed to fuck you after one date.." Santana spat.
"You don't climb into someone's lap and get him all hot then just leave. Unless you're nothing but a tease."
"Or if I'm not attracted to him like I thought I would be. I think when your tongue slid into my mouth, my instincts kicked in and realized you were an over privileged pig. And I'm sorry, but I'm not a big fan of canned meat, so if you could see your way out.." Santana snapped, standing.
"I can see why he left." Patrick said before walking out.
Santana slammed the door behind him before sighing and leaning back against it. What the hell was she thinking? He was such an asshole. She put her hands in the pockets of Sebastian's hoodie. She really should wash this.. but it still smelled like him.. She walked to his room and quietly opened the door, poking her head in Sebastian was curled around one of his pillows. She sighed softly as she saw he was still fully dressed. She walked in and turned on the small lamp next to his bed. Sebastian grunted, covering his face.
"Come on. Give me your feet.." Santana sighed.
"What are you doing?" Sebastian mumbled.
"You have your shoes, jeans, button up and your coat on. Also you are unbelievably drunk. So. Sit up Jack Daniels."
"You're drunk."
"Or I can just leave you here, whatever."
"No." Sebastian whined.
"Then sit up.."
Sebastian slowly sat up, his eyes still half closed. Santana helped him swing his feet over the edge before kneeling to untie his shoes. "What time is it?" Sebastian sighed.
"Three-thirty." She grunted pulling one of his shoes off.
"Why are you awake? Why are you helping me?"
"Because you helped me last night." She said softly, starting to unlace the other. "God I hate these duck shoes.."
"Duck shoes?"
Santana held the other one up. "It looks like a duck bill. Look at it. You know I hate these. I don't see why you wear them all the time."
"They're comfortable!" Sebastian said as if it were obvious.
Santana just smiled, mouthing along with him as he exclaimed; "And fashionable!" Like he always did when she complained about anything he wore.
"You just don't understand. I bet your mom would like them." He smiled as he thought of Santana's family.
Santana sighed playfully as she pulled off the other. "She probably would... Take off your coat."
Sebastian chuckled to himself as he took his jacket off. Santana stood, taking it and hanging it up. She turned around, shaking her head as she saw him struggling with the small buttons of his shirt. Sebastian breathed out a heavy breath as he tried pulling it over his head but getting stuck.
"Oh my god. Stop." Santana laughed, pulling it back down and starting on the buttons.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" Sebastian slurred.
"No." Santana said. "But I am trying to get you into bed."
"Bed sounds nice."
\
Santana nodded, finishing up the buttons and letting him pull it off. "Can you handle your jeans?.."
"Yeah." Sebastian sighed.
Santana nodded, picking up his shoes and shirt. She put his shoes in the closet and tossed the clothes that were lying around in his hamper.
"San?.."
"Yes?" She asked, turning to look at him.
"Are you really thinking about moving to Ohio?" He asked quietly.
Santana sighed, trying not to admire his body as she took his jeans and folded them over her arm. "No. I was drunk and being stupid. I have way too much going for me here.."
"Good." Sebastian nodded as he laid across his bed.
Santana pulled the covers over him and sighed softly as she sat on the edge of his bed. "You are a handful, you know that Smythe?.."
"At least you're not cleaning my puke." Sebastian said before sticking his tongue out.
"Whatever." Santana smiled, reaching out to touch his face before thinking better of it and pulling away. "Do you want anything?" She asked, standing.
"No." Sebastian said tiredly. "You're still beautiful when you're sick.."
Santana sighed, giving him a sweet smile. "Goodnight." She said, turning off his lamp and walking out.
Sebastian rolled over and curled up to his pillow as he let sleep take him.
Santana walked to her room. She shouldn't do this to Sebastian. She didn't want to date him again, but she wouldn't torture him anymore. He didn't deserve that.