A/N: Wow. I cannot believe I'm updating this. I thought I abandoned this story for good, but had a sudden burst of inspiration.
Honestly, I only have a couple of chapters left, and I thought them over so many times last year (I cannot believe I began this story over a year ago…) and I used to be so sure that this would be the first thing I actually I finished, I just decided I had to finish it.
So, this has two to three chapters left, and I've been planning them since LAST September, so I'm thinking they'll actually get written.
I'm writing this at five in the morning on no sleep, so I'm not quite sure how it turned out. Hope you enjoy
Sarah
Branded
SAWYER
She is in my arms.
Lying on the bed beside me, clothes forgotten on the floor, Juliet is in my arms. I can feel her pale skin, the warmth of her body. She's real. And she is right here.
"You know that in a few weeks your people are supposed to capture me," I whisper in her ear. "Lock me in a cage, feed me fish biscuits. You're supposed to taser me."
"That can be arranged, if you'd like." She smiles her smile and I let out a laugh.
"This is so fucking weird."
"I'm pretty used to weird."
She leans in and kisses me and then I'm on top of her and in her and out of her all too fast.
"I love you," I say as I pull her in close. I can't seem to stop saying it. I don't think I told her enough the last time.
I wonder if in another dimension I'm sitting on the beach, flirting with Kate and hating everything Other, Juliet included.
It's hard to imagine that at any time in any universe it is I can possibly be loving anyone that's not her.
I run my hand along her back, retracing everything. Matching my memories to what's really there.
I reach her lower back and stop, the difference a blinking red siren in my mind. For an instant I'm terrified that this is all just another dream and it's absence is my brain letting me know that she's nothing but a beautiful image I've created and it's time to wake up. But then it all comes together and I lift the blankets, just to be sure.
"Holy shit," I whisper in shock. "It's gone."
"What?"
"The mark," I explain, my fingers grazing over where it used to be. "It's gone!"
Juliet had told me that it had only happened after Kate and I escaped, but I still couldn't see her without it. It was all I'd ever known. And it had mattered to me so much, because I blamed myself fully for that mark, and eve after three years when it hardly even crossed her mind, I truly hated myself every time I saw it or felt it as I held her.
She reaches behind her and pushes my hand away. "It is gone," she observes as if it means nothing at all. How can it mean so little to her? I never got that. I never understood how she could have me touch it and not once say "that was your fault."
"I guess my slate is clean," she says.
"It always was." I turn her slightly so my lips can meet hers.
It feels like the lack of her branding redefines everything, yet not a thing has changed.
###
It's my first good sleep since 77, but when I awaken Juliet is gone.
"Juliet?" I call. No response.
"Jules!"
Nothing. I try not to panic because I know she was here and what could happen to her now? But the idea of losing her is still too fresh in my mind and I can't stand not knowing. So I find my pants and hurry out.
There's a light on at the room at the end of the hall and I hear her voice as I approach.
"It's so good. Mmm. Oh my God this is so good."
Well, it sounds like she found something more excited than sleeping with me. Curious, I go in.
Her and Desmond are at the kitchen table, feasting on oatmeal.
"Looks like I'm missing quite the party," I say as I take a seat beside her.
"Hey." she covers her mouth as she chews. "I just needed something to eat. This stuff is amazing. You want some?" She holds the spoon out to me.
"No thanks."
"You sure? It's delicious."
"It's Quaker Oats instant oatmeal, Juliet."
"Well its better then Dharma Oats." She takes another bite. "Do you have any idea how long I've been eating Dharma food for?" asks. Of course I do. "Six years!" she answers herself before I have a chance.
"Three," Desmond corrects her and they both laugh. It must be some inside joke or something because I'm not getting it.
"What time is it anyway?" I ask. She shrugs.
Around two."
"And you're eating oatmeal?"
"I was hungry."
She takes a couple more spoonfuls and then pushes back her chair. "Alright. I'm done. Desmond, I will see you in the morning."
He nods and stands as well. "I should get back to Penny too. Sleep well."
"You too." She takes my hand in hers as we head out.
"Night Scotty," I say.
He smiles. "Good night Sawyer."
"So you and Desmond got pretty close, huh?" I ask once we're back in our room.
"Yeah. I could not have gotten through the past few weeks without him."
She glances up at me and looks thoroughly amused by my expression. "You're not jealous are you?"
"What? No!" But maybe I am. A little.
"James," she laughs. "We're friends. We kept each other going when you and Penny weren't there. We didn't think we'd get off. We didn't think you remembered," she was suddenly serious. "Do you have any idea what that's like? I was trapped there, and I didn't think I would ever see you again."
"How the hell do you think I felt all this time Blondie?"
Tears form in her eyes and she wraps her arms around me. "I love you so much James." then words make me shiver and I try not to remember her letting go. ''I love you."
I embrace her as pieces of our past that I'd rather have stayed forgotten replay themselves and I'm having a hard time reminding myself that without all of that, we wouldn't be here now. We wouldn't be together, going home to the right time.
Going home to Rachel and I think, and I'm sure she's thinking it too. That's what makes all of the torture of the past few weeks-the pure, constant torture of our lives ever since Kate and Jack returned to the island-feel worth it.
She's going home to Rachel.
JACK
"Shannon called me the other day," Claire informs me from the table as I fix up two cups of coffee.
"Really?"
"Yeah. She found my number after reading about the scandalous relationship between the base player for Driveshaft and the unknown pregnant girl who looks about ready to burst in a magazine."
" You're in a magazine?"
"Yeah. It's not a big deal. I don't think it's going to last. Liam is living a totally normal life. And Charlie's actually pretty happy about it. He wants a little attention, now that the memorials not happening."
"What?"
"There was this big memorial for him after the plane crash. Naomi told him about it. He was thrilled. I think he's secretly a little upset it didn't happen this time around."
I chuckle because I know she wants me to. But I'm having a hard time finding anything humorous. I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything except how to get Kate out of prison.
I set the coffees down on the table. "So do you have a date for the wedding?"
"Not yet. Definitely after Aaron comes, which should be only a week now." She takes a sip of hers. "I'm really not looking forward to doing it again."
"At least you'll have the luxuries of a hospital this time."
"That is a plus," she grins. "And we're also making sure my mom the wedding will be after my mom gets out of the coma. Which, according to you, is only a few months away."
"I met her in January," I confirm.
She beams. "I can't wait to see her."
"Any day now."
She nods and takes another sip. "Charlie's having a hard time choosing between you and Liam for best man."
"He should ask Liam. He is his brother."
"Well you're my brother," she says. "Plus you were on the island. So really, we have more of a connection with you then with him."
"Good luck explaining that to Liam," I mutter into my cup. She laughs. "What about you?" I ask. "Any ideas for the maid of honor?"
"Well," she starts slowly. "I wanted to have Kate…"
"She would love to," I cut in, because I know where Claire is going with this.
"Jack," she sighs. "I want her out just as much as you do. But realistically-"
"We're getting her out," I say firmly. We have to.
"Jack…"
"How's Shannon doing?" I oh-so-subtly change the subject.
Claire sighs. I do this every time she tries to bring reality into the picture. "She's fine. Sayid left her, but she's getting over it."
The door bell rings. I'm tempted to ignore it, but it goes off again. "I guess I'll get that," I stand.
"She got a dog!" Claire calls after me.
"That's great."
I open the door and grab onto the door frame for support when I see who it is.
How…
"Hey Jack."
My mouth opens, but no words escape.
Kate.