Argh. My brain hurts.

E-That is no excuse. Back to work!

You are a tyrannical dictator!

E-I never said I wasn't.

I own nothing except my OCs and the plot.

"My name's Eleanor Forester, but everyone calls me Ellie." Alucard woke up and his hand crept it's way onto her shoulder, but she ignored it for the time being. "We're looking for my best friend Marie-"

"MARIE IS MISSING?!" The green guy exclaimed. His glowing red eyes were dilated. "What happened?!" He demanded hotly. "Why is she gone? She had such wonderful singing voice!"

Ellie turned her attention back to Angel. "So I guess that your canon is one of the many that she serviced?"

Angel nodded. "She doesn't just bring me the fanmail either. Sometimes she picks up the donated blood packets for me that I need."

Lorne grabbed Angel by the shoulders. "You're not freaking out about this, why are you not freaking out about this?! MY BEST KARAOKE ACT IS GONE! VANISHED! POOF!" He sank to his knees, nearly in tears. "Do you even /KNOW/ how badly demons can butcher a Lady Gaga song? HAVE YOU HEARD MY THEM ATTEMPT ADELE?! Sometimes it makes me wonder why I was born with ears..." He whimpered.

"You can come with us to help find her, if you like." She said kindly.

He got up and clutched her hands tightly. "You have my undying gratitude!"

"But they could use my vampiric strength and stamina." Angel interjected.

"Another vampire Canon?" Ellie groaned. "Please tell me you don't sparkle-"

"HEY!" Edward was promptly shot in the leg by Alucard. The bullet bounced off of him and hit Alucard in the head. Alucard stumbled backward and Ellie gasped, catching him as he fell.

"Alucard!" She screamed hoarsly and held him to her chest, terrified that he was dead. Well, as dead that a vampire can be...Paladin Anderson whooped for joy and did a minor, priestly happy dance.

"What just happened?" Asked a bookish-looking woman with glasses.

"Hi, Fred." Said Lorne, smiling wanely.

Ellie had started to cry, much to her own and everyone else's surprise. Her tears dripped down onto Alucard's pale face and mingled with his blood. She leaned down. "You can't be dead, you perverted ass! You said you were going to marry me!" She kissed him on the cheek. "If you die, I swear I'm going to stake you!"

Alucard started laughing. "I don't know if I should be worried or imbibed with passion."

Ellie glared at him. "What the hell?!"

"It'd take more than a bullet to hurt me, love." Purred the vampire.

She gritted her teeth. "I should be slapping you right now, but I'm too glad you're alive!"

"Well, I'm not, technically." He rumbled lazily. "But counting me among the dead would be redundant, so I guess you could say that. Anyway, are you happy enough to give me another kiss?" He pointed to his lips.

She dropped him in disgust. "Don't push your luck." She grabbed Lorne and pulled him forward. "If you're coming with us, hold onto my hand."

The whirlwind made a mess of Angel's office and they could hear him grumbling about it just before they were transported back to the Castle.

Elena's brother was sitting on one of the tables with Frank staring adoringly up at him. Alex had an arm around the alien, but it was a noncommittal gesture.

Ellie bounded up to him expectantly. "Do you have it?" Her eyes were bright with excitement.

He nodded and handed the deviced to her. It was a pentagon with two little brightly colored buttons on the top side,a black glass slide sticking out of the back end, and a red beeping light positioned at the front end. "The red light will flash quicker as you get closer to her, then will turn green when you are in the right Canon. The blue button will bring up a map of the Canon-verse." He pressed it to show her an example and a map of the castle's Canons came up. Each of the canons were helpfully labelled. "Now, you need to place a bit of her DNA on the little black slide and press the green button."

"The only problem is finding a bit of her DNA to put on the slide." Ellie said glumly.

Lorne tapped her on the shoulder. He was holding an envelope. "She licked the adhesive on this, I know she did because I saw her do it. It was supposed to be a reply to one of the fanletters a few weeks ago." He handed it to her.

Ellie tore a bit of the adhesive-coated paper away and held it up to the slide. The slide lit up and the map-screen changed to one showing the word *Scanning*. Then there was a whirr and a beep, then the map came up again. A red X marked a canon not that far from the libary. It was labelled *League Of Extraordinary Gentlement*

"We found her." She breathed out a sigh of relief. Gimli grabbed Alex's hand and pumped it energetically.

"I owe you everything for this. If you ever have need of a Dwarf, then I will come to your aid." Gimli pledged.

Alex nodded, somewhat uncomfortable. "I appreciate your grateful gesture." He answered a little awkwardly.

Then the group took off out of the library and soon found the innocently swirling portal that they had been searching for. Ellie laughed eagerly. "I bet she'll be so surprised to see me!"

"I wonder what she'll say?" Gimli said to her with a smile.