A/N: So, today would have been my grandmother's 83rd birthday. But she died five years ago. I miss her with every part of my being. So this is for her. Basically, Kendall and Katie return to Minnesota to mourn their father's death. Kendall POV.

The Minnesota wind is biting cold, a stark contrast to the balmy LA weather.

I walk alongside Katie, who is clutching my hand like it's the only thing tethering her to life.

I pull her in close, shielding her from the icy air.

We weave in and out of gravesites, names blurring as we pass.

I know we are getting close because the names begin to look familiar.

Cousins, aunts, uncles and other family members I've never heard of begin to surround me and I feel the tears forming.

I can see the marble angel that stands over my father's resting place and I can hear Katie crying besides me.

We reach his grave and Katie crumbles, falling to her knees over his frozen tomb.

I crouch next to her, massaging her back until she calms down, ignoring the tears falling down my own cheeks.

She looks at me and wraps her innocent arms around me, sobbing into my chest.

I hold her until she finishes and backs away, leaving me alone with my father.

"Hey dad. I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss you. I'm sorry it's been so long since we talked, but I've been busy in LA."

I can feel more tears streaming down my face as I fight to keep my composure.

"I really miss you, daddy. I need you to come back."

I finally lost it and I fell to the ground sobbing loudly.

"I can't be a singer and a father and a brother and take care of mom all at once. I need my daddy back! Katie needs her daddy!"

I could hear Katie trying to calm me down from a distance but I waved her off.

I needed this time to vent.

"Daddy, please, come back to us. Why did you have to die? Why not me? You died saving me when you could've lived your life."

I knew I wasn't making any sense, but I couldn't care less.

Right now, I wanted my dad back.

"I know you saved me out of love. I can see why you did it, because I would do the same for anyone, especially Katie, mom, Logan, Carlos and James."

My cheeks were beginning to freeze because of the tears and I knew I'd have to leave soon.

"Five years has been so long, dad. And I love you more than ever now that you're gone. But I want you to know that I'm taking care of everyone down in LA. And I'm still playing hockey."

I could almost see my dad smiling at me.

I smiled at the sky.

"I'll be back soon, I promise, ok daddy? But for now, I have to leave. I love you, dad."

I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer.

When I opened them, I could swear I saw my father smiling at me.

I rose and wiped the tears from my face and took Katie's hand.

"Dad says he loves you, Katie-Kat."

She smiled and squeezed my hand knowingly as we left the graveyard.

And as the limo drove away, I swear I heard him saying that he was always going to be with me, no matter what.

A/N: So, there we go. Sorry if it was bad. But I have some news. First, my holiday one-shot is being written as we speak and it's going to be AMAZEING. Second, they scheduled my dad's surgery to remove the cancerous tumor on his kidney and to fix his hernia…for my first day back at school. Great. Anyways, this was dedicated to my grandmother and to everybody else who has to celebrate the holidays without a loved one.