When Saga became lucid, it felt as if she had just closed her eyes a second ago. She found herself looking at Solas, standing right in front of her.
„There you are", he said. Solas wore a relaxed half smile. This was his turf, after all.
Saga felt disoriented for only a moment before she realized where they were. Or rather, where her mind was. Her subconscious was walking the Fade. She was dreaming. But her body was still lying on her bed in Skyhold. And the body of the man before her was lying right next to hers. With three other people standing around the two of them, watching. One of them being Dorian. She cringed at the thought of all the dirty jokes she'd have to put up with once this was over.
She chuckled nervously. „Sooo, back in the Fade, huh?"
„Indeed. Why don't you have a look around?"
„You don't know where we are?"
„This is your mind. Your memories." He folded his hands behind his back. „I'm just along for the ride. The Fade reflects the thoughts, emotions and memories of those who enter it. Thanks to the synchronization spell I used before I went to sleep myself, the Fade will emulate your mind alone, not mine."
Saga started to turn around her axis and took in her surroundings. They were decidedly nondescript. They were surrounded by concrete walls. The grey room was lit by a single striplight embedded in the ceiling and completely empty except for a metal table with two chairs in the middle. There was a door behind Solas. No windows. The space was so bland even their voices sounded flat.
„Ok, now what does an empty featureless room say about my mind?", Saga asked.
Solas chuckled.
„Be patient. It's not that easy. Why don't you try the door?" He took a step to the side.
Saga shot him a glare for pointing out the obvious and looked past him. She hesitated. What waited beyond?
„You're wondering if you really want to find out about your past", Solas said, always the keen observer. „That's understandable, given what we know so far. But you are a woman too curious to be intimidated by the unknown."
She snorted.
„You kidding? I love the unknown!"
With a cocky grin she strode past him, opened the door and stepped through.
The noises and flurry of activity hit her like a blow to the head. She gasped and swayed back, bumping into Solas who breathed in audibly as his senses, too, were assaulted by the hectic rush that greeted them on the other side.
There were hundreds, no, thousands of people. All different sizes, colors, genders and cultures, rushing past and around them like a current of bodies. A rowdy soundscape hit their ears, conversations in a dozen languages, people shouting and laughing, horns honking, strange music blaring thumping rhythms, the roar of hundreds of engines as traffic wallowed through the urban canyons that stretched on for miles like a churning, sluggish river. As Saga looked up into the sky she realized it was nighttime, but the darkness was driven away by the bright city lights, blinking and flickering all around them.
„Spirits…" Solas craned his neck as he looked around to take in the immensity of the scene, jaw dropping slowly as he discovered taller and taller buildings around him, culminating in a tower that soared up into the sky as if to pierce the very heavens with its tip. Then he heard Saga laugh, a bright, wonderful noise he knew could only mean one thing. She knew this place.
„Oh my God! I can't believe it!", she shouted, whirling around with a beaming smile on her face.
„You remember!" Solas smiled broadly himself as he felt her joy dance within his own heart.
„Yes!", she cried. „Yes! Toronto! We're in Canada!"
Uncaring that Solas was still trying to get accustomed to the sheer volume of his surroundings alone, Saga threw her arms around him. This time, he didn't flinch away. He yielded to Saga's astonished happiness echoing within his own mind, even permitting himself to return the embrace for a moment.
„Solas, this is amazing!" She pulled away to look at him. Tears were streaming down her cheek. He raised a hand to wipe them away, then stepped back.
„I know, I can feel it", he said. He took a deep breath to calm himself before he continued to look around, shaking his head in awe. „So many… people and the architecture is… this is remarkable. I would never have thought you were able to dream with such focus, without magical abilities, without an Anchor like the Inquisitor. You cannot imagine how—"
„Awestruck and fascinated and grateful you are?", Saga finished for him. He looked at her in surprise. „I can", she said, a wide grin appearing on her face.
Solas frowned at her, amazed and at a loss for words for a couple of seconds.
„You are saying you can… huh. This is unusual. A reciprocal feedback loop seems to have formed between our minds. I had not planned for that to happen."
Saga was unsure of what this would mean for their endeavor. „Is that… bad? You're surprised."
„Yes, I am. It's not bad. Not necessarily. Not unless we recover a truly traumatic memory. In that case, the feedback loop would amplify the emotions you would be experiencing to a much greater extent than anticipated. We will have to wait and see what happens."
Saga smiled at him and touched his arm. He didn't back away.
„I'm not afraid as long as you're here."
Solas did not reply to that. He didn't need to. Saga could feel her trust in his abilities pleased him.
„This place must be very important to you if this is the first thing you remember", Solas commented as they let themselves be carried along with the crowds. He didn't know where to look first, so full of life and strangeness were their surroundings. And the noise! He saw waves and waves of strange vehicles rolling down broad streets, a mind boggling number of people from all walks of life flanking them. None of them seemed to take note of the strangely dressed man with the long, pointed ears. The Fade was strictly sticking to Saga's expectations in its emulation of reality.
„This city must be sprawling…", he said as he looked around. They reached a promenade bordering on a vast mass of water. Glass towers shot upwards into amazing heights and surged right to the brink of the land. Solas had seen many awe inspiring places during his travels of the Fade. In fact, he remembered some rather astonishing civilizational accomplishments from his own experience, even though he kept that to himself. But this city was of a quality and size not even he had been able to imagine. It was strange to him, alien. The architecture and technology, the materials, even the smells and noises were completely new to him. And the light, so bright it blocked out the stars and tinted the night sky an orange hue, all without the use of magic… he was impressed. And that counted for something. But still, at least to him, the city had an aggressive air to it. It was a stark contrast to the soft lights and ephemeral soundscapes of Arlathan, the greatest city of the Ancient Elven empire.
„What can you tell me about this place?", he asked.
„It is a city on the North American continent, the largest in the nation of Canada. Four million inhabitants when I lived here for a while."
Solas had expected a large number, but this he found hard to believe.
„Four million in one city?"
Saga simply continued.
„And… wow…", she gasped. Bits and pieces of information were coming back to her. Her heart beat faster with the excitement of finally remembering her world. „It's not the largest city on Terra by far. The largest is the Guangdong megacity, that's in a country called China, sixty million people live there."
Solas's mouth opened silently. He was stunned, and luckily so, because for the shortest moment, he felt the impulse to tell her about the largest cities he had known. An imprudence that would have cost him dearly. His wordlessness saved him from being asked dangerous questions. It saved him from having to lie to her. He felt relieved when Saga continued to talk. She didn't seem to be surprised by the echoes of his emotional ups and downs that she surely felt. She obviously attributed them to him being overwhelmed.
„When I was still a child I lived here with my parents for a while. I have fond memories of it. Kensington market. The underground city. But it was only a short while. We moved again a few years later", Saga said.
„Where to?", Solas asked.
With a loud swoosh the city around them suddenly disappeared like water down the drain, making Saga gasp in surprise.
—
Outside, in the waking world, a sudden jolt went through the two bodies lying side by side on the bed. It didn't go unnoticed by the three onlookers, who kept a watchful eye on the sleepers.
„Did you see that?!" Varric had been anxious about the whole affair form the beginning. Anything to do with the Fade mildly perturbed him. During his adventures with a dear friend, he had had the dubious pleasure of having come into contact with the Fade. He did not harbor any particular desire for repeating it. He found the fact Solas loved to spend his time in the Fade odd, and even though he respected Saga's decision, he disapproved of Solas dragging her into it. He was afraid for her.
„Yes, Varric, we saw it", Cassandra said. Her voice was kept deliberately calm. She hid her emotions better than the dwarf and at least as well as the Tevinter mage, albeit by different means. Cassandra's mask was peppered with thorns that made those who wanted to know her true feelings shrink away from her. Dorian however played a less obvious game of hide and seek with his innermost nature. He knew how to appear so smooth anyone who tried to get closer to him would simply slide off his sleek veneer. His tone of voice betrayed nothing of his thoughts.
„Solas said this could happen. Nothing to worry about, there are no tremors in the Veil" he said, completely blasé. „Relax."
It was that pause, that last single word that made Varric's chest feel suddenly tight.
—
Untouched by what was happening on the other side of the Veil, the two dreamers were engulfed by a silence equally booming as the city noise before.
They found themselves standing in a barren, rocky landscape. Nothing but reddish brown gravel wherever they looked. Saga shivered as an icy, howling wind tugged at her. There was no sign of life.
But the night sky above them shone with a splendor so unrivaled it made up for the lack of beauty on the ground. The Milky Way stretched from one side of the horizon to the other, its dark texture of dust meandering over the glittering band of stars that made up one of the galaxy's spiral arms. There was only one place on Earth that was like it.
„Hawaii", Saga whispered, and in the moment of her remembrance, the Earth beneath their feet started shaking and trembling so fiercely that Saga almost lost her balance. With a loud rumble, two gigantic silver domes began to rise up through the ground in front of them.
„What the hell is happening?!", she shouted over the grumbling noise of stone being ground to dust.
„It's working", Solas said. He was utterly unaffected by the surrealism of their situation. „The Fade is adapting to your resurfacing memories."
With a strained moan that echoed over the lifeless plains, the metal domes came to a rest. Twenty meters in height and almost the same in diameter, they were now standing before them in all their silver glory. Saga stared up at them, mouth agape. Solas eyed her from the sidelines with amusement. He found that, as an experienced Fade traveller, he enjoyed the almost childlike wonder it evoked in her. To see the Fade once more as if for the first time, even if it was only by proxy, reminded him of its preciousness. Its magic. Of course, he did not tell her any of that.
„This is formidable workmanship", he instead stated soberly and slowly began to walk towards the domes, fingers interlaced behind his back. „I have never seen one so large. Not even when I dreamed in Ancient Elven ruins."
Saga turned her head and stared at him in disbelief, not understanding in the least what she was seeing and how Solas could know more than she did.
„This is like a stroll through the park for you, isn't it?", she asked.
Solas stopped and looked back at her.
„I have been traveling the Fade in my dreams almost all my life. Its spontaneous quirks do not unsettle me anymore, true. Think of it as a living, breathing organism, changing in response to how you confront it."
Saga stood as if riveted to the ground. They had gone from the bustle of downtown Toronto to the bleak emptiness of a rocky desert in a heartbeat. The physicist in her was still trying to wrap her head around this fact.
„I did that? I made those things appear? How… what…"
As he saw - or felt? - she was having difficulties coming to terms with the changed parameters of the reality surrounding her, Solas walked back to her. The Fade was known terrain for him. For Saga, it was uncharted territory. He had promised to guide her, to provide orientation. He gently gripped her arms.
„Look at me", he said.
Saga complied, confusion, anxiety and fascination alternating on her features.
„You're doing fine", he said and stroked her upper arms, smiling at her. „I expect more of these sudden changes to happen, since you are not able to consciously manipulate the Fade. Nothing about this is abnormal behavior for this reality. We are here to discover your memories, after all. They will reveal themselves before you can consciously access them. This is all within expected parameters."
Saga breathed out audibly. She seemed to relax.
„Keep calm and enjoy the magic?", she asked.
A chuckle.
„Yes, maybe I should have phrased it like that."
Saga nodded. He felt the tension leave her muscles. With a pang of shame, he noticed how acutely aware he had been of that sensation and let go of her.
„Alright", she said, her composure regained.
They approached the domes together, the vast canopy of stars stretching out in all directions above them, dwarfing the two massive buildings.
„Bear in mind, this is not necessarily a realistic depiction of your world. There might be details that are distorted, not in the right place or temporal order. Try to focus your attention on the essence of what the Fade presents to you. Do not try to force anything to happen. Relax and open your mind to what it whispers."
Saga watched the dome in front of them and tried to think of nothing, to concentrate only on her perceptions without interpreting any of them. And indeed, something happened. The dome's upper half started to rotate. Two slits emerged in its silver cap, one surrounding the dome radially around its equator, the other one opening vertically on its roof, extending all the way down to the foundation it was resting on.
„Very good!", Solas said. „You are a fast learner."
When a thin, orange beam of light suddenly shot out of the vertical slit and up into the sky, the memory finally began to take shape in Saga's mind.
Solas, eagerly awaiting her reaction, watched closely as Saga's face brightened with an infectious, starlit smile.
„Gemini North", she whispered. „This is the Mauna Kea observatory! My parents used to work here!"
Solas gave her a satisfied smile. Everything was working as expected. The Fade functioned as an emulator for Saga's buried memories, building affective bridges into her past.
„But how did you recognize these structures?", Saga asked.
„I'm not a complete ignoramus when it comes to science, Saga", he told her. „The Ancient Elves used telescopes to chart the heavens, albeit none of this magnitude. Judging from the size of your people's cities, it makes only sense to build an observatory here, where light pollution is not an issue."
Saga nodded at him approvingly.
„Well, well, Solas. I see spending time with me hasn't hurt you."
„On the contrary. So far I have found myself enjoying every second of it. Much to my surprise."
The words were out of his mouth too quickly to stop himself. Hot regret made his insides cramp immediately. Socializing had always been easier for him in the Fade. But he knew he must not let himself get carried away by the ease he felt when in this reality. Too much was at stake.
It was not surprising to him then that she raised an eyebrow at his sudden fit of ill-worded self-revelation.
„What is that supposed to mean?"
Solas decided that fewer words were the safer option.
„You are human, after all", he said.
When a wry grin appeared on Saga's face, he knew he wouldn't be able to undo the effect his words had had.
„Am I?", she asked, clearly enjoying the role of the ambiguous stranger, all mystery and allure. And not unjustifiably so, Solas admitted to himself.
„A fair point… maybe if one expanded the meaning of the word to encompass creatures from far away planets whose way of thinking reminds me more of what I learned about the Ancient Elves than actual… Thedosian humans."
He remained stern, but the twinkle in his eye betrayed his irony.
„Would you rather I refer to you as Terran?", he asked.
„You can refer to me however you like, as long as we're clear all that matters is that this…"
Saga made a back and fourth motion with her hand between the two of them.
„… this is what's really important."
Solas waited a few seconds before he answered, watching Saga very intently. Right there, right now, a precipice, demanding a decision from him. He could cut her off, could even still let her down gently if he chose the right words. But…
„I can agree to that, Lethallan."
„Lethallan?"
„An Elven word."
„No shit."
„It is a casual term for someone with whom one is familiar."
Saga chuckled. He had such a roundabout way of explaining things sometimes.
„Like a friend?"
„Yes. Among other things."
Saga grinned. She was starting to enjoy this playful banter.
„So, what did your parents research here?", Solas asked, signaling her that he would not continue to explain the other potential meanings of the word. They came up to the door of the observatory.
„I don't yet remember", Saga answered. „Maybe if we went inside?"
„Naturally", Solas encouraged her. „After you."
—
Varric yawned and stretched, his initial unease dampened by the banality of natural biorhythms. Two hours of staring at sleeping people in the middle of the night had rather foreseeable effects. He smacked his lips. „Anything happen?"
„It's quite fascinating actually", Dorian said, very much awake. „They certainly seem to be enjoying themselves. Just look at them. They're grinning like idiots."
Cassandra rolled her eyes. „Ugh…"
—
Saga and Solas entered the main observation chamber of Gemini North. It had opened its wind vents and observing slit. Nobody else was there.
„A remarkable machine", Solas commented while he looked up to the huge telescope in the middle of the room. His voice was echoing under the tall, curved walls and ceiling of the chamber.
„It's an eight point one meters Cassegrain reflector", Saga explained as she approached one of the operating consoles to the side. „Its mirror is coated with a thin layer of silver instead of aluminum. Catches more light. Especially powerful in the infrared."
„While I don't understand the implications of what you've just said in the least, I nevertheless admire your obvious level expertise", he said, distractedly stroking the telescope's cool metal frame as he walked around it. It was clear to him that this was no optical telescope. This was technology far more complex than what he had ever seen.
Saga snorted. „Nerd…" She sat down at the desktop and focused her attention on the computer screen on it. „Solas?"
He managed to pull himself away from the telescope and joined her at the console. „Yes?"
„You said that my memories might have become lodged in the Fade, right? Buried deep in my subconscious."
„That is a simplified way to describe it, but yes", he said.
„Ok, so let's see if my subconscious knows how to use a computer." She pressed the power button. With a fanfare sound, it turned on.
„A computer?", he asked, very much intrigued. „Another one of your machines?"
Intrigued, he braced his arm on the backrest of Saga's chair Saga, bowing down over her shoulder to look at the screen in front of them. His bone necklace bumped into her. He was so close she could smell him. Feel his breath on her neck. Her body reacted without any room for ambiguity.
„Wow", it slipped out of her mouth.
„What is the matter?"
„This Fade experience is… lifelike indeed", she said, trying to concentrate on the task at hand and not let herself be distracted by that very distracting feeling between her legs.
„Yes, your focus is impress—… oh." Solas head snapped around to look down at her before he abruptly straightened himself and walked away.
„What?", she asked as she watched Solas grab a chair. He put it down next to her and sat on it, now a good meter apart from her.
„Feedbackloop", was all he said.
Saga's cheeks immediately turned hot with shame.
„Jesus H. Christ…", Saga muttered with her eyes closed. This had not just happened.
Solas cleared his throat, trying to keep a straight face. On principle, he was rather nonchalant about the issue, but Saga's acute embarrassment amused him. Although it was not only amusement he felt.
„Just explain to me what you were about to do", he said, trying to ease the tension.
„…Not even vaguely sexual my ass…", she mumbled as her fingers started to fly over the keyboard, powering up the telescope.
With a loud whirr it began to move.
„Alright, so I thought that maybe, if an important memory is connected to this place, we could find it by looking through the telescope. So I told it to target the last coordinates that were put into the system. It's just a hunch, but I figured I'd simply take the hint by my subconscious."
„A reasonable idea. Let's see what it does."
And indeed, it worked. The instant the telescope was aligned correctly and the data transferred to the terminal, blurry images of its target in space started to pour in.
With the images, the note returned. And the pain started.
Solas hissed painfully as it shot through his head the first time.
„Ah!"
Saga was immediately alarmed. „You can hear it, too?"
„Yes. Or rather, I feel it. Like a hot needle piercing through my eyes."
„Welcome to my world for the first couple of months in Thedas. I heard that noise almost all the time."
—
Varric jumped up from his seat. „There! Something just happened!"
„What? What is it?!", Dorian exclaimed, startled by the alarm in Varric's voice.
„I don't know, they both… hissed or something", Varric said and gestured helplessly at Saga and Solas. He had known from the start something bad would happen. Now it was all going to go bad.
But Dorian did not seem impressed. „They hissed? That's all?"
„Looked painful to me", Varric said, rather defensively, but failed to convince the mage.
„Relax, Varric. And don't do that again. You're like a mother hen, scaring the hell out of everyone around you over nothing", Dorian said and pulled the dwarf back onto his seat by the bedside. Reluctantly, Varric sat down again.
Cassandra on the other hand, was a good deal more apprehensive. Nothing of consequence had happened yet, true. But that did not mean nothing dangerous could still transpire. While she may not have been as distrustful of magic as a Templar, she was not one for downplaying the inherent unpredictability of this experiment.
„I heard it too, Varric. We must remain vigilant."
—
„In the past, this sound used to indicate to me that something… important was going on, something that required my attention. I believe this means I should continue to look at the pictures."
Solas, rubbing his temples, did not look happy about that, but nodded nonetheless.
When Saga returned her attention to the computer screen and the object depicted on it, the noise in her head softened.
„Yes… I have seen this…"
Solas let out a sigh as the pain receded.
„But it didn't look like this. This is in infrared. Let's see if we can't look at it in another spectrum…"
Her fingers darted across the keys in a flurry. When she hit the final button, the image indeed changed and without delay, a memory burst through the surface of her subconscious like a sword through brittle armor, making them both double over in pain.
The smudgy image sharpened to reveal a green glowing tear in the blackness.
A Rift in spacetime.
—
Varric jumped up from his seat so quickly he made the chair fall over as all the muscles in Solas's and Saga's bodies cramped simultaneously, making them arch their backs in convulsions.
„Shit!"
Dorian gasped. „Oh my, he said there'd be a twitch or two!"
„This is not a twitch!", Cassandra shouted.
„Yes, I can see that, thank you!"
„We must do something!" Varric flailed his arms helplessly.
„No, we must not!", Dorian said. „Waking them up by force could do more harm to them than this!"
„But they're in pain!" Varric gestured at the two sleepers whose whole bodies were starting to shake and tremble with the spastic tension in their muscles.
Cassandra carefully held the dwarf by his shoulders. He let out a frustrated groan and stopped fidgeting.
„They knew the risks. Solas will help her. So far no threat to us has emerged, so we will keep our word, Varric. We will not wake them."
Varric shook his head as he watched his friends writhing in what sure must be pure agony.
„Andraste have mercy…"
Disclaimer: Gemini North / Mauna Kea Observatory on Hawaii is not my invention, it actually exists. So does Toronto. Just in case someone didn't know ;).