A/N: Good morning! So guess what? You're getting two chapters today for the price of one! Took me a while to post these but there's more than one, so yay me! The song in this one is "With Love" by Christina Grimmie.
Never Stop
You called me out and taught me tough. With love, with love. You fought my flaws, my teeth, my claws. With love, with love. Cause every time I'm slipping away from myself, you're the one that moves me like nobody else.
When she finds him sitting alone in the dark, she isn't surprised. Roy and John left hours ago, even before she'd gone home for the evening. And she had gone home. Alone. Because he'd been upset and angry and he'd snapped at her the way that he snapped at everyone when he felt that his world was falling apart. Of course, the fact that they'd just found Thea, that she had finally come home after all this time, had thrown him off balance. It had startled all of them to discover that, for nearly eight months, she had been with her biological father, with a man that they had all thought dead. But she knows better than most that some people are capable of coming back from the dead. The man in front of her has proved that.
She sits down heavily in front of her computers and turns her chair to face him. He is sitting on the med table, his fingers curled around the edges on either side of his thighs. His knuckles are white.
Cause when I'm down and I'm done, and I'm coming unplugged, When I'm ready to fall, you're the one always holding me up with love. Oh no no.
She doesn't speak. It isn't her turn to start the conversation. She won't push him to talk. The last couple of months, almost from the moment she awoke in the hospital, he has been with her. She has to give him credit. He's been trying. He's been much more open, more forthcoming with her in the time that they have been together. He's proposed to her twice now – offhandedly of course – and while she hasn't given him an answer, she knows that she'll say yes when the time is right.
Tonight is the first time since she was shot that he has raised his voice at her, that he's lost his temper with her around and she is fully aware that the angry words that he'd shouted at her earlier weren't about her, about them or where they were in their relationship. He's scared, she knows, and he's hurt. He'll apologize and he'll mean it.
"Why would she go with him?" he asks softly. His head is down and he does not look at her, "After everything, after – I did this. I couldn't protect her. I didn't protect her from Slade, I let my mother die, I –"
He chokes on his words and she sees the tears that slide off of his face and darken the material of his shirt where they land. She resists the urge to go to him. She doesn't know what he needs just then, if he needs her or if he needs her to leave him alone.
Your tongue won't tie, you'll always find the truth, yeah you do. But still you smile despite the lines I drew for you.
"What has he done to her? What has he – what did he tell her? About my father? About our mother? About me? How much does she know? She won't talk to me."
She hugs her arms around her middle. She has seen him this way before, this guilt ridden version of the man that she loves, and she knows that no matter what she says to him she will not be able to ease his burden, at least not completely. This is not a situation that he can control. They had all believed that Malcom was dead.
"My family is gone. I – There's no one left."
Cause every time I'm slipping away from myself, you're the one that moves me like nobody else. Oh no.
She stands and crossed the small space that separates them. She puts her hands on his knees, something that she wouldn't have been comfortable with just a few months ago, and for the first time, he looks up at her. Her heart breaks just a little more for him.
"Thea hates me. She won't forgive me, not after... not after what I've done. Not after what happened to my mom."
Cause when I'm down and I'm done, and I'm coming unplugged, When I'm ready to fall, you're the one always holding me up with love.
She sighs, "Oliver, it isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. Slade killed your mother because the mirakuru had made him lose his mind. You can't hold yourself accountable for the actions of others. We've talked about this. It is not your responsibility to save people who don't want to be saved. Thea was hurt and scared and Malcom took advantage of her. We don't know enough about what's happened to know how she really feels. We won't know until she's ready to tell us."
He stares at her, his expression blank, impassive, but she knows that he heard her. She inches closer, forcing his knees apart so that she can stand between them. She can almost feel him pulling away from her. He wants to retreat into himself.
"You do so much good, Oliver. For the city, for John and Roy and Laurel. For me. You are a good man," she assures him, "And I know that you love Thea, that you want her to be safe, but she's an adult. She's made her decision. And I'm not saying that it's the right one. I'm just saying that you can't force her to be someone that she doesn't want to be…"
Love, love, love, love.
His expression changes, hardens, and she understands. Thea will always be his baby sister. He will always want to protect her, the way that he wants to protect everyone in his life, but she wishes that she could convince him that not everyone wants his protection, not everyone needs to be protected.
"I'm sorry."
She meets his gaze, lifting her hand to brush at the mostly dried tears on his cheeks.
"For what?" she asks.
He shrugs, leaning into her touch, his stubble scraping against her palm.
"For yelling. For what I said. For not going home with you. For being an overprotective jackass," he explains, "I don't know why you put up with me. I don't –"
"Because I love you. And I don't think that you're a jackass. Well, not all the time. You came pretty close earlier."
When I'm down, when I'm coming unplugged. You're always there with love. When I'm done, love. When I'm out, when I fall, you're always always always always there.
He is quiet, his eyes closed as she swipes her thumb across his jaw. His pain is palpable and it tugs at her heart. She wishes that there were more that she could do for him, more that she could say, but she knows that she cannot make Oliver feel any differently. She can assure him that he is not to blame for his mother, for his father and his sister and Tommy. She can assure him time and again that he is not responsible for the actions of the people around him but she knows that she cannot change his mind. All she can do is support him and make sure that his guilt doesn't swallow him whole. She will not lose him to himself.
His eyes open slowly and as he looks at her, they are clear, most of the storm clouds having drifted away. The sight of his bright blue irises lightens the pressure in her chest considerably.
When I'm down and I'm done, and I'm coming unplugged, when I'm ready to fall, you're always there holding me up.
"Roy's going to need us," he admits, his words surprising her.
She knows that Roy is in agony over Thea's return, at the hatred she clearly exhibited toward him upon her arrival, and she knows that he is going to need all of the support that they can offer. The fact that the man in front of her is aware of that as well surprises her. While he and the youngest member of their little team have grown closer in the time that they have worked together, she might even consider them friends, it isn't often that Oliver takes the emotions of other people into consideration. Not that he's incapable of sympathizing with the people around him, it's simply that he doesn't normally know how to handle it.
"He is. He's going to be angry, more than normal, I mean," she agrees, "And you know what, I bet he's blaming himself as much as you are. Maybe you should talk to him."
He shakes his head, "You should. You're good at this."
She cocks her head, unsure of what 'this' is.
"Talking people down," he clarifies, "Being logical, reasonable. You're the only person that I can trust to be completely honest with me, Felicity. Even if I don't always want to hear what you have to say. I think Roy's going to need that."
She smiles when he pulls her into the circle of his arms, ignoring the way the metal table digs into her hip. She slips her arms around his waist and holds him tight.
"We'll talk to him together," she assures him, "We're going to get through this, all of us, together."
When I'm down and I'm done, and I'm coming unplugged, when I'm ready to fall, you're the one always holding me up with love.