"Cath." Sara shook her gently. "Baby your hips vibrating and as nice as it feels I don't think it's meant to do that."

Sitting up a little Catherine groaned sleepily rubbing her eyes.

"My phone," She reached in between them fishing her cell from her pocket.

"Willows," She answered and yawned. "Rick calm down, you're making no sense… When … No I'm on my way. Did you call Griss? … No, you have to finish your scene… I know I love him too but Rick finish your scene… I'm coming now, meet us there when you can … yeah and we'll find him."

Catherine shut her phone slipping off Sara's lap.

"Cath, what's going on?"

"Nicky." Catherine managed to get out before bursting into tears.

"Nicky what?" Sara asked getting gingerly to her feet, sleeping sitting up was not the best thing she should've done, right then. She pulled Catherine into a hug, running her hand over the blonde's back in a soothing motion.

"Gone." Catherine choked out between sobs.

"Gone?" Sara asked pulling away a little. Nicky was not her favourite CSI but that didn't mean she wanted anything to happen to him. Surely Catherine didn't mean he was dead.

"Taken from his crime scene."

'Oh that's so much better than what I was thinking!'

"We should go in then, get started on finding him." Sara said with one last squeeze to Catherine once the blonde had calmed down a little.

"You need to rest."

"No way, Nicky is missing. That's going to need the whole team."

"Sara, you're healing still."'

"Maybe I am but I can do lab work and I can be there for you, Cath. You're not alone any more we're in this together."

"I don't deserve you." Catherine smiled.

"No, you deserve better."

Sara feared for her life as Catherine's eyes darkened. "Never let me hear you say that again ok, never." Catherine insisted.

"What?" Sara was a little confused.

"There is no better for me ok. You're all I'll ever want. EVER." Catherine declared passionately.

"Ok baby calm down I was joking, you and I, Ms Willows were made for each other."

"I just hate the thought of you thinking you're less than me or less than what I would want."

"Cath I've spent most of my life thinking I was less."

"Well." Catherine pulled Sara close. "I'm going to spend the rest of your life making you believe you're amazing."

"Good luck with that." Sara said half teasingly.

%%

"We're going to find him."

They had been driving for what felt like forever to Sara and the silence was killing her. She wanted to be able to do something to make Catherine feel better.

"I know we'll find him. We just need to find him in time."

"Cath you have to keep thinking positive."

"Will you do something for me?"

"Anything Cath you know that."

"Stay in the lab tonight. I don't think I could do my job and worrying about whether you're ok too."

Sara sat back in her seat and pondered the request. She had forgotten that caring for someone cut both ways. Catherine was already on edge from hearing about Nick it made sense to Sara that she would want the younger woman safe. It wasn't something that sat well with Sara; she was your all action girl, walks into action and asks questions later.

"Cath, I can't just sit this one out. What if Griss says he needs me?"

"Tell him you're still healing. Tell him you can't do it, tell him anything just don't… Please just don't."

Catherine's slim hold on her control wavered and tears formed in her eyes, it seemed the harder she tried to blink them away the harder they fell. The thought of Nick being out there somewhere, coupled with her still raw emotions over Sara's injuries were just too much for her. She had so nearly lost Sara, her Sara, she could say that now but it had been so close seeing Sara laying there so still, so pale, was scary. In a way she had blamed Nick for that. She had found a way to try and move past it but she wasn't sure she had ever said sorry to Nick for all the awful things she had said to him in the hospital.

"Cath?"

Sara was alarmed to see the tears streaming down her girlfriends face. This was the side of Catherine she was going to have to get used to seeing. In all the time they had known each other Sara could count on one hand the amount of times Catherine had cried in front of her. Leaning over a little Sara place her hand on top of Catherine's and helped the now near hysterical blonde pull the car to the side of the road.

"Cath, talk to me." Sara pleaded as Catherine just continued to cry. Feeling she had a better chance of getting Catherine to calm down if she could hold her, Sara got out off the car and made her way around to the driver's side. Sara cursed herself all the way, what was she thinking letting Catherine drive knowing what she was going through? She should've insisted to drive instead of letting Catherine do so. Pulling the door open Sara crouched at Catherine's feet running her hand over her thigh. Ignoring the protest of her ribs Sara pulled Catherine tighter when the older woman finally let her hold her.

Sara mumbled nonsensical soothing sounds as she ran her hands over Catherine's back. Waiting for the older woman to calm down a little. As Catherine's breathing evened out a little Sara spoke again.

"Want to talk about it."

"We came so close to losing you." Catherine announced after a moment. "It never really hit me till now that you could have died. You laid there so still, so pale Sar' and I was so scared."

"I'm here Cath, I'm safe. You can't keep me under lock and key, it's not who I am. We all know the nature of the job, baby even Nicky."

"What if I had my last bit of luck keeping you alive?"

"Then it will be Grissom's luck or maybe 'Rick's that means we'll find Nick. We will you know, you just have to believe it's not his time."

Popping the lid from another bottle of beer, Sara relaxed back in the sofa and closed her eyes with a sad sigh. Sara found herself doing two things she never thought she would have to once she finally got to hear Catherine say the words, 'I want to be your girlfriend.' Still here she was alone in her apartment self medicating with Heineken and painkillers.

Resting her feet on the coffee table in front of her, a rustling of paper caught her attention. Reaching down Sara retrieved the note that had been waiting for her when she got home.

Miss Sidle,

I meant what I said, stay away from my daughter.

Sam Braun

Sara knew that it was a sign of intent. It told Sara that Sam knew exactly where she lived and he wasn't going away.

Closing her eyes once more Sara let the events of the last few days wash over her.

She could never describe the feelings that exploded inside her as Catherine told her that she wanted them to be together. It was like every dream she had ever had came true in that moment. Falling asleep with Catherine wrapped securely in her arms was all she had ever wanted to do feel the blonds head on her chest and be able to run her fingers through that silky blond hair.

All those little dreams had come true in one evening in Catherine's house. It seemed though that no sooner had they finally found some footing that the rug had been pulled out.

Nick's kidnapping had meant to drive a nail in to the hearts of the CSI's and it had in more ways than one. A father's desperate attempt to show his feelings of injustice and impotence on a grand stage had also highlighted to Sara that there was still a lot that needed to be said and done between her and Catherine if they were to be happy in the long run.

Sara was pretty sure that Catherine wouldn't have been crying alone in the ladies restroom if she trusted her totally. Sara knew that Catherine had not wanted her to know and Sara was sure that no one else had noticed Catherine's little breakdown, but no one else had spent years learning to read Catherine so that it came as easy as one of the five senses to read her feelings. Sara had know as they sat in the break room talking about their findings early in the case that Catherine had been crying and was so much more upset than she was letting everyone see.

Catherine had been sitting just two seats away from her at the time wearing her glasses; it normally took all of Sara's resolve not to jump Catherine in those glasses. The only signs that she wasn't has calm as she wanted people to believe she was, had been her looking wan, and agitated but with no outward sign that she had been crying but Sara was just sure she had been crying. All she had wanted to do was pulled Catherine in her arms and tell her to remember that they were going to find him. She hadn't been sure that it would have been welcomed; it was as if Catherine had put all her armour back up and Sara would just have bounced of off it.

It hadn't help Sara in that moment that she couldn't pin down her own feelings over the whole situation. She was well aware of how close she had come to dying even if she hadn't talked to anyone about it. She also knew how long she had been left there by Nick. It was hard not to feel a little mad at him for just leaving her there. She would never wish anything this bad on him, they had no clue what was happening to him, what was being done to him. She was sure they had all had their moments to think about what Nick was going through. She was sure though that none of the others could come up with some of the scenario that she did. When she closed her eyes imaging what could be happening to him, her blood stop cold at the image that pop in her mind, she sometimes wished she didn't have the real life experience to fuel her imagination.

Grissom had been talking about the ether that had been found on the fibres recovered at the scene. For the life of her, Sara hadn't been able to concentrate on the room around her. In all her time working in the crime lab being around Catherine had never been that distracting.

Watching Grissom take the envelope that Hodges had wrestled of the deliveryman it had taken a lot of resolve for Sara to stop herself from wrapping her arms around Catherine from behind, and then again once they had seen the live feed of Nick in that Coffin. It was clear that working swing shift together had brought Catherine and Nick even closer.

Then came the moment that had changed things for Sara, standing outside Grissom's office listening at the door had not been her initial intention. She had been on her way to deliver some more information Archie had for Grissom.

'"Catherine, if the press finds out about this, it'll look like Sam Braun bribed the lab." That had gotten Sara's attention.

"He's a casino owner. A leader of industry. Never convicted of any crime. And right now, I don't care about the integrity of the lab at the moment. I care about Nick".

"Yeah, well, so do I, but nonetheless ..."

"Well, you're sitting here like Jack Handy with your deep thoughts, staring at a coffee cup. You got a better plan, I'm all ears"

"All right. But I make the drop. You're hands off."

"That's my money."

"You can't be seen anywhere near this money. It was given to the lab anonymously. Agreed?"

"Agreed."'

Sara had made herself scares at that point, not wanting Catherine to know that she had heard. Catherine had gone to Daddy when the going had got tough.

So here she sat alone, the money it's self hadn't lead to Nick's release but from the evidence they had managed to pull together from the half devastated warehouse had provided them with enough clues to find Nick.

Catherine was at the hospital with Nick and Lindsey was at Nancy's house leaving Sara alone with nothing but a fresh six pack and her thoughts.

A knock at the door brought an end to the silence Sara was actually beginning to enjoy. For a moment Sara thought about ignoring whoever was at the door, then the banging got louder and Sara didn't want her neighbours complaining about the noise. Checking the peep hole Sara stopped in her tracks as she took in the sight of Catherine through the tiny whole.

"Sar' I know you're in there please open up." Catherine almost begged from the other side of the door snapping Sara from her daze.

Slipping the door open but not moving to let Catherine in, Sara faced the older woman.

"Catherine?"

"What? You're not going to let me in?" Catherine asked raising her eye brows. She had no idea what she had managed to do to upset Sara since finding out about Nick. She was sure whatever it was though she could be forgiven for it, after all the whole lab had been under a lot of stress.

"Maybe we should talk tomorrow once we've both gotten some sleep."

"I want to talk now." Catherine insisted. "Since I have no clue as to what I've done."

"You haven't done anything. I just think we need to talk."

"Ok then let me in."

Catherine insisted, pushing Sara gently. Sara though lost her balance a combination of beer, painkillers and not a lot to eat left her a little uncoordinated.

"Sar you ok?" Catherine asked, crouching next to Sara "Have you been drinking?" Catherine asked after a moment.

"I don't know what you mean." Sara tried to lie.

It was pointless though as Catherine looked up and found five empty bottles on the floor next to Sara's sofa and a fresh six pack on the table. Helping Sara up Catherine led her to the sofa and made her sit down. Taking a seat next to Sara, Catherine shook her head, she had always known Sara had a destructive streak; you only had to look in her eyes sometimes to see it. Looking round the apartment though it was evident just how deep that streak went. Catherine took the unopened six pack from the table walking over to Sara's sink she opened the first bottle and poured the contents away. It took till the third bottle for Sara' shock to wear off and she reacted.

"Cath what are you doing?" Sara demanded making her way over to the sink.

"You don't need them." Catherine told her emptying the last bottle away. "And please tell me you weren't taking these with beer." Catherine demanded finding Sara's half empty pill bottle.

"Just a couple." Sara admitted not able to look Catherine in the eyes, alone feeling sorry for herself her actions had seemed ok but here with Catherine looking hurt and angry Sara felt ashamed of herself.

"We could have lost Nick today, just a few more minutes he would have run out of air. What do you think would have happened Sara if I'd have gotten here and found you passed out from a mixture of alcohol and painkillers."

"I wasn't thinking like that. It hurts, that's all and the pain killers helped and I needed a beer." Sara admitted, there really was no better answer, sometimes she was just an ass. "I don't have a drinking problem though." Sara was quick to point out. She was sure that most of the lab thought she was a closet alcoholic sometimes. 'You get one DUI and all of a sudden you're out of control'.

"I know you don't have a drinking problem Sar,' I never have. Something is wrong though. I came here needing to be near you after seeing Nick like that. I get here and you won't let me in and you've been drinking. Sara I'm not leaving here till you talk to me."

They sat at opposite ends of the sofa legs tucked up under themselves facing each other, knee's touching. The silence hung between them for a while till Sara broke it.

"How's Nick?"

"He's doing really well." Catherine replied with a soft smile. "I left him with his Mom and Dad, it was time for family and I was in the way really. Plus I just wanted to come see you."

"Today was rough on you." Sara pointed out leaning forward a little to push some hairs behind Catherine's ear.

"It was hard on us all." Catherine countered. Holding Sara's hand in place and leaning into the touch. "Sar' what are you smiling at?" Catherine questioned. She was trying to have a serious conversation with Sara and the brunette was grinning at her like the damn Cheshire cat.

"Sorry, I'm taking you seriously, really I am. It's just your hair…"

"What's wrong with it?" Catherine asked hands rushing to her head trying to smooth down a hair emergency.

"Nothing if you'd let me finish." Sara smiled. "It's just I get to touch it and it's so soft and you smell so good." Sara continued placing kisses along Catherine's hair line.

Catherine groaned momentarily lost in the feeling of Sara's lips on her skin. Regaining her composer quickly Catherine pushed lightly on Sara's chest.

"Stop."

The one word was clear and precise and Sara leaned back immediately.

"Sorry."

"No baby god that felt good. You keep that up and it's only going to lead one place."

"Is that so bad?" Sara wondered.

"Normally I would say no but I want us to talk. Thank you though."

"What for?"

"I said stop and you did without hesitation."

"Of course I would never force myself on anyone. Never you, Cath, I love you baby and no means no."

"Well I wish you would have taught some of my ex's that."

"Cath has anyone ever…" Sara paused this was the second time she had found herself asking Catherine this type of question and finding the words were no easier this time round. The thought of rape on anyone man or woman appalled Sara, the thought of someone using Catherine like that was too much.

Sara was quick to condemn the macho men of the world who felt sorry for themselves when their girlfriends were raped, wanting to go attack people because that made everything right. She wasn't sure though faced with the same situation she would keep her temper any better, would her natural reaction be to abandon Catherine and go find someone to punish. All Sara could do was pray that neither she nor Catherine found themselves in that position.

"No." Catherine assured her pushing Sara back into a sitting position and crawling on to her lap. "Some guys like to try their luck." Catherine told her resting her head on Sara's chest.

"Not with me Cath I promise you that."

"I know because I know you baby. That is one of the reason's I know that there is something off with you apart from the pain killer party."

"Like you said it's been hard on all of us."

"It was before that. There was something wrong right from the day I picked you up from Aaron's."

Sara felt trapped if she told Catherine what her Mom and Sam had said; would it just make things worse? Would Sam take that as a signal for an all out war? She was sure that if she told Catherine there was no way that she could get Catherine not to do anything about it. Sara wasn't sure she felt strong enough to take on Sam Braun all by herself. Fighting demons was one thing, fighting a full blown old Vegas villain was something else, in a way a demon had better morals, after all they were meant to be evil it was in their DNA.

Sara's eyes were drawn to the letter on the coffee table. If she made a sudden move for it then Catherine was going to want to know what it was without fail. If she left it Catherine was likely to see it at some point and then she would be hurt that Sara hadn't told her herself. Smacking her head off the arm of the sofa Sara let out a groan she hated Sam Braun!

"Sar' baby don't do that." Catherine straddled Sara's lap placing her hands on either side of Sara's face holding her head still. "What is it?"

Shaking her head free of Catherine's hold Sara wrapped her arm around Catherine, holding her steady as she leant over to the coffee table and retrieved the letter, handing it to Catherine.

Catherine read in silence for a moment before looking up at Sara. "What does he mean, he meant what he said?"

Catherine was a raging mix of emotions. Sam had the nerve to poke his nose in her personal life. How dare he warn anyone off? If there was any one in her life that was unsuitable then it was the one and only Sam Braun. Then there was the fact that Sara now knew that Sam was her dad. It was something that she was sure Sara would have wanted to hear from Catherine herself. No wonder Sara had seemed a little distant the last few days, she must have been going out off her mind worrying about this, about Catherine and looking for Nick.

"See." Sara started talking and Catherine looked up. "The bit that got me the most about all this was the fact that Sam lovingly refers to you as his daughter."

"I was going to tell you."

"Yeah once you deemed me fit, or after he caped my knees?" Sara wanted to know. "I would have been a whole lot less intimidated the day your Mom and Sam came to see me in the hospital if I had a clue what they were talking about."

"THEY WHAT!"

Catherine was beyond pissed now. Sam she understood, he knew no better way but if her mom had a problem with her seeing Sara then she should have come to her not gone to see Sara. Catherine would be having a rather stern conversation with her mom.

"It's still taking a bit of getting used to, Sam being my father. I didn't tell you, not because I don't trust but because I'm just not sure I want to introduce him as my father."

"I get that." Sara smiled cupping Catherine's cheek. "But that wasn't all we need to talk about."

"Ok let me make you a coffee and we can talk." Catherine gratefully replied, looking forward and feeling a little dread at the talk that Sara seems to think they needed to have.

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