"That is not a bikini, Beckett."
Kate rolls her eyes as she emerges from the french doors, her body covered by a black one piece, but really, he can't complain. It may not be a bikini, but the fabric is tight, just a few black scraps pieced together, and there's enough skin showing along her sides, between her breasts, that he still feels short of breath staring at her.
"Need help applying sunscreen? I'm almost done with this one," he states, rubbing the last of the lotion over Lily's back while she buzzes with impatience on the edge of the lounge chair.
"Nope," Kate replies, purposely popping the 'p' on her lips and sauntering around the two of them to lean her hip against Castle's shoulder. "I'll help you with yours, though."
Her fingers pluck at the shoulder of his t-shirt. Rick grunts in disapproval while Lily tilts her head back to glance up at them both.
"Daddy says he doesn't want to swim," Lily informs her and he huffs, because he can already feel the conspiring that's about to occur. If it's not Alexis and Kate ganging up on him, it's Lily and Kate. A vicious cycle.
"Don't worry, Peanut. We'll change his mind," Kate assures her, furrowing her fingers through Rick's hair and over his sun-warmed scalp. He can't help the hum that rumbles in his chest, the way his body leans into her.
Castle doesn't argue, because Kate Beckett could probably convince him to do just about anything and they both know it, but he does intend to fight her on this one. No one, including his daughter, needs to see his massacred back on display.
"Oh, darling, don't deprive yourself of the ocean," Martha interjects from the chair a few feet away. She's already draped in a sundress, wearing an extravagant hat with shades to shield her eyes as she lounges beside the pool, her favorite Hamptons activity. Aside from the glass of orange juice replacing a mimosa in her hand, he's at least glad that some things never have to change.
"I don't see you rushing to the sea, Mother," he challenges with the corner of his mouth twitching as she waves him off.
"I never spend my time on the beach while we're here, you know that."
"Well, I'd rather build one of my award-winning sandcastles. What do you think, Peanut?"
"Ooh, can we decorate it with shells and find some hermit crabs to live in our castle?" she questions, turning to face him in her bright turquoise bathing suit. It has white flowers blossoming across the spandex, ruffles decorating the neckline, and she looks adorable in it.
"Um, of course," he scoffs, wiping the residual sunscreen left on his hands across his swim trunks and standing from the chair with her.
The doors open once more and Jim Beckett steps out onto the deck with them, grinning at Lily who is bouncing around in her swimsuit. And then his gaze slides over to Castle and Rick feels his stomach clench with nerves.
"Rick, do you mind taking a walk with me?"
"Oh, but Grandpa, Daddy and I were going to build a sandcastle," Lily tells him. Jim merely smiles back at her with that placating smile of his. He thinks Jim Beckett could calm the most restless of souls with that look.
"I promise I won't keep him long, sweet pea."
"Hey Lil, you and I will play in the waves while they walk a little bit, sound good?" Kate says, holding out her hand to their daughter. Lily casts one more glance in Castle's direction before grasping her mother's wiggling fingers.
They start down the steps that lead down to the beach, Kate mimicking Lily and sparing a look over her shoulder to find him, shooting him a reassuring quirk of her lips. Her dad liked him, has always liked him, but that was six years ago, before he caused Kate's world to fall apart and left her to raise their unborn daughter on her own.
He hasn't been able to talk to Jim since he was found again and he's come to the conclusion that there's a reason for the avoidance.
"Don't look so petrified, son," Jim chuckles, stretching his arm out for Rick to go ahead.
He follows the path Lily and Kate took down the stairs, veering sideways to walk along the shoreline rather than towards the water. Jim matches his steps, strolling alongside him.
"Not necessarily petrified, just… worried," Castle supplies, resisting the urge to twist his hands together, wring out his anxiety, but there's no stopping the words that begin to spill out of him then. "Listen, Jim, before you say anything, I just want you to know that I'm aware of the damage my disappearance has caused and I intend to spend the rest of my life making it up to Kate, to Lily-"
"Rick," Jim interrupts, slowing in the sand to touch Castle's shoulder. He pauses immediately to meet the older man's gaze, which is surprisingly soft and… guilty? "The reason I want to talk is to apologize to you."
"What? Apologize?" Castle echoes, his brow furrowing deep, because he's certain that there's absolutely nothing Jim Beckett needs to apologize for. As far as Rick knows, Jim has been one of the few constants in Kate's life, in Lily's, over the past six years. If anything, the man deserves nothing but gratitude, definitely not forgiveness.
"Yes," Jim sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants and allowing his gaze to drift to the sea. Castle follows his line of sight to the waves lapping at the shore, to Lily and Kate in the water. From here, they can hear Lily's laughter distant but filling the air as she and Kate attempt to jump over an incoming wave. "I know some of her actions may contradict it, but no matter what happened, who she was with, Kate never lost faith that you were alive. I think she tried to, knowing how slim the odds were, it would have been better for her. But she never lost hope, never really gave up."
Jim is not the first to tell him this, but somehow coming from her father, it means even more, causes his heart to swell and press against his ribcage.
"Even after months turned into years, she still held onto you. Even when I told her to let you go."
Oh, that stings a little more than he expected it to. He can tell Jim has seen it too, since Rick was unable to school his features quickly enough for the older man to miss it.
"I was afraid, watching her spiral over you. We both know how deep she fell over Johanna, how… visceral her grief can become, and as someone who's lost what she had, I knew that losing you was going to be even worse for her," Jim sighs, frowning down at his toes in the sand. "I was afraid she'd be like me. I was so scared she would abandon Lily like I abandoned her."
Castle can barely breathe, hanging on the man's every word, even as they cleave through him with every syllable.
"But Katie is stronger than I ever was," Jim admits with a small curve of his lips, pride in his deep brown eyes. "And I know Lily played a large role in it, anchored her, but she had to be strong to stay afloat, to keep from drowning like I did."
Rick finally releases the air trapped in his lungs, exhaling shallowly through his parted lips. "You were looking out for your daughter, there's nothing to be sorry for."
"I've been a bit cowardly," Jim continues with a shake of his head. "When she told me you were alive… I wanted to start believing in miracles again. I wanted to see you, to see her happy, see Lily with her father, but I felt guilty for what I'd said, how I'd essentially tried to discourage her from having any sort of hope in your survival, and I suppose I thought I could mend that shame by trying to make it up to you."
"Helping with my mother," Castle connects and Jim nods. "Being her sponsor."
"Yes. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to do it, would have volunteered to help any way I could regardless, but that still doesn't excuse me taking this long to see my son-in-law," he sighs.
Castle's heart stumbles back into his ribs at the term, the muscle sure to be bruised and battered by the end of this conversation.
"Kate and I never-"
"Close enough," Jim mutters, drawing a breathless chuckle from Castle's lips.
"Still no reason to apologize," he concludes, meeting the older man's eyes despite the bright glare of the sun. "You thought I was dead, who didn't? You wanted your daughter to be okay, to be stable, I probably would have done the same in your position. But I don't hold it against you, Jim. Honestly, I'm just relieved I still have your approval."
"Rick," Jim murmurs, her father so solemn, serious but kind. "You never risked losing it. You make my daughter happy, you always have, and I'm just… so glad to see her whole again."
He wants to hug him, this man he's always so greatly admired and respected, the kind of man he wished his own father to be. Jim must see it in his eyes, because he moves forward, embraces Rick in a one-armed hug, patting a gentle hand to the middle of his back.
"You were family before you went missing," Jim adds as he pulls away. "That hasn't changed."
Kate divides her attention between playing with Lily in the water, catching her daughter as she rides the waves that push her up and into Kate's arms, and watching Castle with her dad. Her heart flutters at the brief hug they share, the way her dad claps Rick on the shoulder, thankfully not in the vicinity of his scars.
She expels a breath at the sight, the reconnect of the two most important men in her life.
Right before Lily splashes her with an armful of water and she's left sputtering.
"Got you, Momma!" Lily snickers as Kate lifts her sunglasses to wipe at her eyes. Kate dives towards her in the waist deep water and her daughter swims away with a squeal.
"You're going to pay for that, Peanut," she calls out, purposely taking her time to swim after Lily, grinning as her daughter hustles to move through the waves, to catch her breath through her giggling.
Kate has just caught up with her, snagged an arm around Lily's squirming body and earned a shriek that is falling apart with laughter, when she's grabbed from behind. She nearly loses her balance in the waves, releasing Lily in her surprise, but Kate recognizes the feel of the arm around her waist. Lily shouts in victory at her freedom, splashes away with a grin over her shoulder.
"Thanks, Daddy!"
Kate huffs and turns in his arms, glares up through her sunglasses to see Castle smirking down at her. His upper body is still clothed in a white t-shirt, now sprinkled with drops of water, soaked along the hem, and she tugs on the fabric.
"Changed your mind?" she questions with an arch of her eyebrow, her body rocking into his with the help of the lapping waves. Castle shrugs, his shoulder shielding the sun burning bright behind him, making him look angelic despite the devilish grin.
"You were right," he states, his eyes bluer than the ocean around them and flickering from her to Lily. The girl is seemingly lost in her own imagination a few feet away, diving underneath the water only to spring back to the surface seconds later. It has Castle's grin going soft before his gaze settles on Kate once more. "You guys looked like you were having so much fun, convinced me to join without even trying."
"Mm," she hums, hooking her hands at his shoulders, coiling one of her legs around his beneath the water and letting the undulating current do all the work. "Good talk with my dad?"
Castle narrows his eyes on her. "You can't mention your dad and then do that, Beckett."
She chokes on a laugh and release his leg, twines her arms around his neck instead and combs dripping fingers through the fine hairs at the base of his scalp.
"Sorry," she murmurs, grinning as his arms tighten around her waist, pulling her up against him and drenching the front of his t-shirt with the water from her body.
"Good talk with your dad," he confirms. "I've missed him."
She softens a little at the unexpected confession, leans in to touch a kiss to his cheek.
"I know he missed you too," she mumbles, brushing her thumb along the sensitive skin behind his ear. "Late in the summer, Lily and I usually spend a week at the cabin with him. She loves the lake and I remember you always did too-"
"I remember the cabin," he assures her, squeezing the bones of her hips, the sharp juts digging into his palms. "And I'd love to go back there. It's so peaceful."
"You're what made it peaceful for me."
Castle tilts his head, his lips quirking with gentle confusion.
"I thought the cabin's always been peaceful for you."
"Yeah, but not quite as much after my shooting," she hedges, rolling her bad shoulder as the heat of the sun begins to dry the moisture across her skin, promptly heating her flesh. "I'll always love the cabin, it's been a special place for me, but the trips we would take there together… you're what made it fun, helped me get rid of any bad memories from that summer."
She averts her eyes to Lily, ensuring she doesn't venture any deeper into the sea, but Castle lifts her sunglasses up to rest atop her forehead. The lack of her shades forces her to blink a few times to adjust to the brightness before she's able to glance back to him. It's worth it once her vision stabilizes, gives her a clear view of his face, the love saturating his eyes.
"I look forward to us all going back there too," she murmurs with a smile curling at her lips. "As a family this time."
His face lights up even more at that, dares to outshine the sun.
Kate uses the swell of an incoming waves to push up on her toes in the sand, sweeping into his body and lifting with the current to kiss his smiling mouth seconds before Lily swims towards them.
"Hey Daddy, can we build sandcastles now? Momma, you can help too."
"Best sandcastle builder gets breakfast in bed for a week when we return home?" Castle bargains and Kate arches an eyebrow.
"You're on."
"I pick the winner," Lily announces. Castle nods in agreement, sinks to his knees in the water.
"May I escort you to the shore, little mermaid?" he offers, eliciting an eager grin to their daughter's lips.
Lily wades over to him, curls her arms around his neck and giggles with delight as he glides forward with her on his back, the water buoying the girl so there's too much pressure on his scars.
Kate sighs before she swims after them, unable to quell the unsettling blend of contentment and concern in her chest.
Lily is exhausted by the evening. Their daughter is barely able to finish her dinner, doesn't make it through the movie they sit down to watch afterwards, climbing into Kate's lap in the living room and curling against her mother's chest. Castle hefts her into his arms minutes later and carries her into the bedroom she chose upstairs, her beloved elephant already laying atop the pillows.
He's hesitant to let her sleep alone, but she turned down Kate's offer to let her sleep in the master bedroom with them tonight. She's been back in her own bed at the loft for over two weeks now, knowing she's welcome back in their bed at anytime, but their daughter has her mother's independence. She'll come to them if it's necessary, but he doesn't think Lily will be appearing in their room tonight.
His mother retires to bed not long after, sticking to a schedule she must have developed in rehab.
"Goodnight, darlings," she chimes, placing her cup of the half finished hot chocolate into the sink. She nods to Jim as she goes, her hand squeezes Kate's shoulder, but she pauses beside him. "Sweet dreams, kiddo."
His mother pecks a kiss to his forehead, brushes her hand to his arm, and he doesn't know why, but it leaves him a little breathless. He and his mother have never necessarily been affectionate. He was never mistreated growing up, always knew he was loved, but the simple touches are something new, mean more than he wants to admit.
"I guess I'll be heading to bed too," Jim announces once Martha has ascended the stairs. Although Rick knows Jim probably isn't going to sleep quite yet, the older man wishes them both a good night as well, detouring to snag a book from Castle's library before disappearing into the downstairs bedroom.
It leaves him and Kate alone in the kitchen, sipping at the last of the hot chocolate. Her eyes peer back at him, sparkling gold from over the rim of her mug.
"Beach or pool?" he asks, clearing his throat of the low husk it so easily falls into. Kate sets her cup down on the counter, comes towards him with embers alight in her gaze, a predatory smirk on her lips.
"Pool," she murmurs, coiling her fingers in the waistband of the swim trunks he kept on after their day on the beach. "It's chilly outside, the pool can be warmed, the beach will be freezing."
"Good point," he breathes, following the light tug of her fingers.
They sneak out of the house like teenagers into the night, taking the path around the property to the pool, and he relishes the thrill of it flooding his veins. He found a baby monitor in his closet that he still had from Alexis's first visits here and placed it in Lily's room, just in case; they'll hear if their daughter needs them, but for now, he slips through the back gate with his eyes on Kate.
He keeps the outside lights low, the ethereal glow of the pool bright enough, glimmering streaks of blue dancing across Kate's tan skin as she pulls the t-shirt over her head and kicks the shorts from her legs.
"You did bring a bikini," he gasps, sweeping his eyes over the tasteful, white two piece. Gold accents decorate the top, the hips of the bottoms, and shimmer amidst the illumination of the pool, the shine of stars and the full moon overhead.
"Strip, Castle," she prompts, nodding to his t-shirt. He hastily rips the fabric over his head, shivers as the cool night air hits his skin and Kate's gaze unabashedly rakes over him.
The smile claims her lips, both seductive and pleased. "Better."
"Desperate to see my body uncovered, huh, Beckett?" he teases, smirking while he checks the pool's temperature, adjusting the settings of the hot tub, just in case she decides she wants to relax in the bubbling heat and lounge against the jets.
"You shouldn't be hiding it in the first place." Her footsteps are quiet on the stone flooring surrounding the pool, but he senses her approach and abandons the thermostat attached to the pool house to turn towards her.
"Doing everyone a favor," he chuckles, meeting her near the edge of the pool, in front of the stairs that descend into the water, but her lips fall into a frown. He sighs. "I don't want Lily to see."
Kate steps into him, pressing her body against his and splaying her hands at his back, over his scars.
"Castle, you're her dad and she's going to see them eventually," Kate points out, her voice soft like the trail of her fingertips along the maze of his recently reopened scar tissue. He echoes her ministrations, traces his fingers down the naked canvas of her back, tripping over the strings of her bikini and feeling her flesh ripple beneath his touch.
"I know," he mumbles, leaning in to drop his forehead to hers even as his skin sizzles from every point of contact, her bare flesh like fire beneath his fingertips. "But she's seen so much within the last month, too much. I just want some time, to let her have some time, before she's exposed to another ugly piece of my disappearance and everything that came with it."
He watches her lips purse, but she dislodges her forehead from his to nuzzle her nose to his cheek, to slot the pieces of their bodies even further into place.
"I'm not going to push you to do anything you're not comfortable with," she assures him, skimming her lips at his cheekbone before lifting her head. "But there's something you need to know."
His brow knits with concern, but Kate shakes her head, withdraws one of her hands from his back to slip between them, rising to smooth her fingers at his brow.
"A few years ago, a few weeks before our wedding day... do you remember when I had to go undercover to infiltrate a drug ring and it turned out Vulcan Simmons was behind it?"
Castle straightens at the memory, one that feels like another lifetime ago with his memories back in place, but he nods. He'll never forget the overwhelming sensation of relief that washed over him when he rode out with Ryan and Esposito to find her on the side of the road, drenched, bloodied, and shivering. He'll never forget how it felt to wrap her up in his arms, hold her for the first time when he feared he wasn't going to have the chance again.
"Of course," he murmurs, grateful for the heat of her against him now, the reassurance that she lived, that she will always live.
"There was a point, while I was being held, that I knew I might not make it out, might not see you again, so I wrote you a letter," she reveals, but his brow only falls deeper into confusion. She never gave him a letter after that case. He knows he would remember that, would have memorized every word of her handwriting. "CSU found it afterwards, like I wanted them to, and they gave it back to me. But I had made it, we were okay, and I'd never wanted you to have to read that letter in the first place so I threw it away."
He has no idea where she's going with this, what the point of this rather dark trip down memory lane is, so he waits for her to continue, listens.
"I still remember every word of it and I swore I'd tell you everything I put into that letter in person, but I never did. Never took the time, never had the chance," she whispers, rolling her eyes at herself, offering him a glimpse of the moisture gathering along the edges. "So I want to tell you now, because you need to know that our partnership, our relationship, is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."
"Kate," he murmurs, shaking his head. She cups his cheek in her palm, snakes the other from his back to rest atop his chest, over his heart, the thing she's turning to putty beneath her hand.
"I wrote that you were an amazing man and how I loved you with all of my heart, but Castle… I had no idea." Her lips quiver, but split into a smile so tender, it squeezes his heart like an iron fist. "I had no idea how amazing you truly were, how strong - god, Castle, you're the strongest person I know. You survived six years of captivity and came out of it still able to trust and love and conquer. They never broke you."
He closes his eyes, because if he doesn't, he's going to cry, stain her skin and that perfect little bikini with his tears.
"You're an amazing man, an amazing father and son, and there's not a single thing about you that is ugly. Superficial or not," she declares so sternly even as her voice shakes, that he can't even muster the will to argue, doesn't think he wants to. "You're beautiful, Rick. You've always been beautiful to me in every way and nothing could change that."
Castle's eyes flutter open as her thumb brushes over his lips, caressing at his chin, and for once, he's left without the words that have always been on the tip of his tongue. His fingers itch with the urge to try anyway, the need for a pen and paper, a keyboard beneath his hands. He misses writing about her, misses the ability to weave a world that revolves around her even in fiction.
He's desperate to tell her that he and everyone else pales in comparison to the beauty that is her, that she's the one who's always made him strong in even his weakest moments, that she's everything, has always been everything to him. But all he can manage is a single exhale of a sentence.
"I love you," he rasps, so inadequate to the brilliant speech she's just given.
Apparently, it's enough for Kate, and she rises on her toes, sears a kiss to his mouth that evaporates the risk of tears. He sweeps his hands down her body, tangles one hand in her hair and the other in the ties of the bikini at her back.
"Get in the pool with me, Castle," she husks, the arousal that simmered and calmed in his blood rising into a wildfire through his veins once more.
Rick lifts her up, carries her into the edge of the pool, feeling her thighs clench at his waist before he forgoes the steps, the shallow end, to jump into the deep with her instead.
Kate squeals into his mouth before they're both submerged beneath the heated waters of the pool, sinking to the bottom. But she doesn't let go, her arms loose around his neck as he pushes off the flooring with his feet, breaches the surface with her body slippery and cool and still wrapped around his.
Kate grins, laughing into his kiss while his fingers tease at the strings of her bikini, humming once he's successfully rid her of the pretty white fabric and tossed it away to float across the water.
"So desperate to have me in a bikini just to do that," she huffs, her fingers furrowing through his hair and scratching lightly at his scalp.
"I appreciated the view," Castle murmurs, trailing his lips to her jaw, suckling at the slick line of her throat. "I just like this one a little better."
She rocks in closer to him at that, her hands cradling his face, drawing him up from her neck. He's struck by the sight of her haloed by the moonlight that gleams over her shoulder, bathes her in its soft glow.
"You're just so beautiful," he adds, his heart catching. Kate presses her forehead to his, her lashes grazing his cheek as she parts her lips over his mouth, kissing him under the stars.
She tastes like hot chocolate and salt, like night air and musk and promises of forever, and Castle drapes one of his hands at the side of her throat. He seals his palm to the thin skin covering her pulse to remind himself that it's all real.