Hello again readers! Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter.
Hope katniss' admittance was what you've been waiting for ;)
A big thank you to those that reviewed last chapter; kelmikmag, Leah97, Gracielou12, Ehmaa-0934, Eliza272, Angels041630, Kitkatlogan and a guest reviewer. It really means the world to me to hear what you all think.
And as always, a massive thanks to my beta reader ct522
Just to let you guys know. I will be finishing this story in a couple of chapters. But no, that does not mean that is the end of the story. I will be writing a sequel straight after, I just wanted to make sure this story didn't become too long. I will make sure to let you all know when the new story will be out and what it will be called.
Quick disclaimer - none of the characters etc belong to me, they are property of the amazing Suzanne Collins, you may notice in this chapter a lot of the scenes in the Capitol take direct quotations from the book, i'm gonna be honest- this is because I am useless at writing action. So if you see anything familiar that's why
Happy reading!
I awoke later in the afternoon to the sound of choking. I forced myself to sit upright, knocking Peeta in the process and earning a loud groan from him. I quickly put my hand over his mouth and tried to home in on the strangled noise.
"Finnick!" I screeched as I realised it was coming from the other side of the room, where he was still lying on top of a pile of old furs.
He was gasping for air, his whole body shaking at the inability to take in a decent amount of air. I flung myself to my knees next to his head, immediately noticing the blood he'd coughed up over the one side of his face.
"Wake up!" I cried to everyone, "he's haemorrhaging; I need the first aid kit."
"Katniss, it's just behind you!" Peeta called to me, helplessly trapped over the other side of the room by his shackles.
I reached for the kit just as Gale knelt down next to Finnick. "Roll him onto his side or he'll choke. I need you to check all his wounds and stop any bleeding." I ordered as I rummaged in the kit, trying to find anything to stop the blood flow.
Finnick spluttered loudly as Gale rolled him onto his side, thick blot clots spewing out of his mouth. I had no idea how long he'd been bleeding for.
"Katniss, he's not breathing!" Gale pressed his fingers to Finnick's neck. "There's no pulse."
My mind immediately went into overdrive; I had no idea what to do. I tried desperately to think of the medicines my mother had used in situations like this, but I'd always been panicking too much to take it in.
"I'll try resuscitation," Cressida roughly wiped the blood from around his mouth before blowing air into his lungs. I watched as his chest rose and fell, remembering how Finnick had done the same for
Peeta. I couldn't let him die.
"Adrenaline!" I suddenly clutched onto a memory of my mother shooting a large needle into someone after their body had gone into shock. I tipped the first aid kit onto the ground, trying to spot something that looked vaguely familiar. I could hear the sound of metal clanging as Peeta desperately tried to wriggle his way out of his cuffs as my eyes scanned the pile of supplies in front of me. Pollux suddenly appeared at my side and plucked a thick syringe from the pile before passing me a small glass tube full of a clear substance.
"You're sure?" I asked, and he nodded eagerly. I didn't have time to second guess him, quickly sticking the syringe into the tube and filling it up with the liquid. "Stand back," I gently moved Cressida out the way before sticking the needle into Finnick's heart and plunging the substance in.
Painful seconds passed by as we waited for the outcome. Had I just made things worse? Suddenly Finnick's spluttering broke through the air.
"Is he alright?" Peeta shouted to us. I just nodded my head, unable to even voice my relief.
"We need to tend his wounds and make sure none of them have reopened. If he loses anymore blood I don't think we'll be able to bring him back."
After we'd redressed Finnick's wounds, I'd put in a couple of stitches, and we'd managed to coax some food and water into him, I found myself staring at him as he slept. What had I done to him? Finnick was my friend, and without his permission I'd dragged him into a fabricated mission and he'd almost lost his life. The thought of going back to Thirteen and telling Annie that Finnick was gone made a stinging bile rise in my throat. It would be my entire fault he died, like it was that Jackson and Leeg 1 had stayed behind at the meat grinder, like it was that the woman had been shot in the heart. I thought back to the night before my first time in the Hunger Games, when Peeta had refused to let the Capitol change him. He was still fighting his hardest to be himself, and I'd just fallen into a mindless rage.
"I need to admit something to you all." I murmured, everyone else had been eating quietly, and slowly their attentions turned to me. "I lied about the mission; I put all your lives in danger just because I wanted revenge."
"Katniss, I already knew what you were doing. Don't you think I knew Coin had nothing to do with this?" Gale reasoned. I could accept that. He'd seen me with my maps and it was too much of a coincidence that I would be sent on an actual mission.
"Well yes, but the others from Thirteen didn't. Neither did anyone else here."
"Katniss, don't you think I realised something was going on when I lied to cover for you? And do you really think Jackson would've believed you" Cressida added.
"But why did you all follow me?" I asked quietly. I noticed the un-phased expression on Pollux's face – clearly he knew what he'd signed up for when he took us through the underground passages.
"Because Boggs trusted you, he assigned you the Holo." She answered simply. The thought provided me with some relief, if people had willingly come along, it meant I hadn't just led them blindly to their deaths.
"None of those people were idiots, Katniss." Peeta's voice broke through to me. "They knew what they were doing. They all followed you because they really thought you could kill Snow." His reasoning more than anyone's seemed to help – that was until I saw the look on his face. Betrayal. I hadn't even told him about my plans.
"Peeta…" I began, but he cut me off.
"Just leave it Katniss; I know you don't trust me like you do Gale." His eyes darted to Gale before they met mine.
I walked over to him and sat down beside him, unwilling to share our conversation with the others anymore. They seemed to take the hint and busied themselves by finishing off their meals.
"Peeta, it's not like that. Gale saw me with some maps back at the camp. He just guessed what I was up to."
"And what were you up to?" His eyes bore into mine, but there was a closed off edge to his gaze, like he didn't know whether to trust me.
"I was planning on going off on my own to find Snow. When Gale saw my maps he decided to come with me. I wasn't planning on bringing everyone else along."
"What about me?" he asked cautiously.
"You were supposed to be back at the camp, safe." I sighed, leaning my head against the stairwell behind me. I had failed at the on task I had deemed most important – keeping Peeta safe.
"So you were just going to run off with Gale and not tell me a thing? Just leave me wondering what the hell had happened to you" His voice rose slightly, but he never reached anger. He just seemed more confused than anything.
"You weren't supposed to be here at all Peeta." I reminded him. He was meant to be back in Thirteen recovering. "I was supposed to come back to you, and everything would be better."
"But I am here Katniss, and I'm not leaving you." His words hit home as I realised the depths of what he was saying, there was no way he'd leave me to do this alone. He was going to make me take him into danger.
There was nothing more I could say; instead I reached up to undo his cuffs so that he could bring his arms down from the railings. Silently I placed them back around his wrists, slightly looser than he'd had them before and pulled his arms over my head so they were wrapped around my waist. I knew this defeated the whole point of him wearing his cuffs but I knew he'd only protest otherwise.
"It's my turn to protect you." He murmured into my hair before resting his head on top of mine.
After a couple of hours of rest we were all stirred awake again when Tigris brought us down some more food. She explained to us that she'd tried to contact Plutarch – but to no avail. I couldn't say I was disappointed since I didn't want him knowing where we were. We spent the rest of the night trying to agree on a plan of action. The only thing we managed to agree on was that we would have to leave Finnick here.
"Do you think we can trust Tigris to watch over him?" I asked Cressida.
"Well, she's been good to us so far. Plus it'll be much easier for her to hide one person."
"We just need to make sure she keeps trying to get hold of Plutarch, I'm not sure how much longer he can stay like this." I forced myself to stay strong, as much as I wanted to order us all to turn back and take Finnick to safety; it would just mean wasting all theother's lives.
We tried to make the most of having Tigris as our guard by getting in as much sleep as possible, although to be on the safe side Cressida and Pollux slept with Finnick between them, in case he needed help again in the night. Peeta had forced me to secure his cuffs around the railings again before I fell to sleep with my head in his lap.
I awoke a few hours later to a quiet conversation between Peeta and Gale. I tried to keep my body as still as possible, ashamedly eavesdropping every word.
"Thanks for the water," Peeta said.
"No problem, I wake up ten times a night anyway." Gale replied.
"To check if Katniss is still here?" I tried not to react to the sound of my name - instead focusing in breathing steadily to make it look like I was still asleep.
"Something like that." Gale sighed.
"Do you still love her?" Peeta asked tentatively, I could feel his body stiffen under me. I knew he didn't want to hear the answer.
"I'm not sure anymore. I'd do anything for her. But she loves you." I couldn't help but feel guilty at Gale's answer. I'd never meant to string him along.
"I don't know." Peeta murmured. "I just keep thinking one day I'll get better and she'll change her mind. I don't want her to be with me just because of what happened." I tried not to frown, how could he still doubt how I felt about him?
"It's not that." Gale answered. "I saw how she kissed you in the Quarter Quell; she never kissed me like that."
Peeta only made a small noise of disbelief, obviously unconvinced.
"She told me she loved you, before she even told you. Doesn't that say something?" Gale pushed. "She's not just saying it to make you happy." My heart instantly ached for Gale. I knew he loved me, yet he was still willing to help Peeta see the truth about my feelings for him.
"I hope so." Peeta sighed. "But thank you, I know you must hate me."
"I don't hate you, Peeta." Gale laughed lightly. "I dislike you because you got the girl."
Peeta laughed along with him, "Well, we'll see I guess." Gale made a noise of approval before they both took the lull in conversation as a sign to go back to sleep. As Peeta tried to move underneath me I raised my head and looked up at him, letting him know I'd heard the whole thing, before I wrapped my arms around his waist and settled back down.
The next morning we joined Tigris upstairs for a pre-dawn breakfast whilst watching the latest updates on her television. It seemed the rebels had managed to secure more of the Capitol's land, sending Capitol refugees fleeing into the centre of the city. The claims were confirmed when we peeked through the curtains, greeted by half-dressed residents flowing through the streets.
"I'll see what I can find out." Tigris offered before locking us all back down in the cellar. She was the only one of us who could get away with walking down the Capitol streets. The new business of the streets would either be a blessing or a nightmare. She returned with news of the situation; numbers of refugees were gathered in the City Circle with nowhere else to go. Most of the residents of the inner city had bolted the refugees out; it seemed even in times of war these people would only look out for themselves.
Once it was deemed safe we returned to the shop floor, and on the television we watched the Head Peacekeeper laying out specific rules regarding how many people per square foot each resident would be expected to take in. He reminded residents that President Snow expected them to not only be welcoming, but enthusiastic about inviting people into their homes – as he himself would be letting people stay in his mansion. He added that shop keepers should be prepared to lend their floor space if required.
"Tigris, that could be you." Peeta said. He was right; our time in hiding was up.
As we continued watching it was clear that the situation was escalating quickly on the streets, we even watched as a young man who was mistaken for Peeta was beaten to death. The thought made me sick to my stomach, if that happened to a Capitol citizen, what would they do if they saw Peeta in
the flesh? And he'd always been their favourite out of us all.
"Let me wash the dishes," insisted, unable to watch anymore of the bloodied man's face. He didn't resemble Peeta much, apart from his blonde hair, but I knew that would be enough to provide me with nightmares that night.
"I'll help you." Gale jumped up after me; I tried to ignore Peeta as his eyes followed us out the room.
"Do you think Snow will really let refugees into his mansion?" I asked Gale in a hushed voice.
"He has to." Gale shrugged. "He's said it now."
"If we're going to get in there, we need to leave in the morning." We had to take this new opportunity, surely the mansion would be compromised now it had to accommodate so many people.
"And what about the others?" Gale asked. I knew this had been a question plaguing us both. Obvious we couldn't take Finnick – we'd already discussed him staying with Tigris and she's reluctantly agreed to move him into her living quarters upstairs.
"Cressida and Pollux could be good guides." I answered reluctantly, they would be valuable assets – but it didn't mean it made putting them in danger any easier a thought.
"And Peeta?" Gale asked.
The dreaded question had finally come up. What about Peeta? He wouldn't stay here, he'd said as much the previous night, but there was no way I could concentrate on my mission with him by my side.
"What about me?" Peeta asked from the doorway, where he Pollux and Cressida now stood – obviously unhappy they were being kept out of this conversation.
"We're trying to decide who comes to Snow's mansion." I answered, trying to keep my voice level.
"I thought we were all going." Peeta tried to keep his voice as calm as mine, but I could hear the anger in it.
"I don't know if you should." I had to think of an excuse, anything to keep Peeta away from the mansion. "What if you lose control… you could go mutt." I knew it was a low blow, but I had to give it my best shot. "We can't be watching your every move and trying to complete a mission. It won't work."
I couldn't hide from the hurt in Peeta's eyes – it pierced me in the chest like a knife, twisting around and creating a huge hole. "Well then I'll go out alone."
"To do what?" Asked Cressida calmly, I just started at Peeta dumbfounded. How was that option any better?
"Well the only thing I'm good for now is creating a diversion." He looked me directly in the eye as he said it. "And you can't stop me from doing it, so you either include it in your plan or I'll just leave after you're gone." Once again I'd made the fatal mistake of not talking to Peeta about something, now I'd ended up with a much worse situation than I could've imagined. Of course Peeta wouldn't stay at Tigris', just as I would not either if I were in the same situation.
"Well then, you should take this." Gale reached into his breast pocket and produced the small nightlock pill he'd been given. "You won't even have a gun out there. It's your only defence against being taken again."
Peeta silently took the pill and nodded to Gale, thanking him. I felt the tears building in my eyes. How had this taken such a wrong turn? The thought of Peeta being taken again was enough to reduce me to tears, but the thought of him taking that pill was enough to reduce me to nothing. I felt the warmth on my cheeks before I realised a single tear had slipped from its confines. Peeta's face immediately softened.
"Katniss," he murmured, only causing me to look down at the floor. "Can we have a minute?" He asked the others, Cressida and Pollux left quickly. Gale placed a hand on my shoulder before walking out after them. "Let's not fight right now." He held his arms out in front of him and I quickly rushed over, ducking under them and throwing myself into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me as best he could while still cuffed.
"I can't lose you," I sobbed into his shirt, I didn't know when the tears had begun to flow so freely – but I couldn't stop them once they'd started.
"I won't take it Katniss, I promise. I'll give it back to Gale if you want."
"No, you should keep it." I didn't want him to be taken by Snow again, I knew he wouldn't make the same mistake of keeping him alive – but would make his death unbearable. "I just don't want you to go out there at all."
"You know I can't just stay in here, I need to help." He placed a firm kiss on the top of my head, his warmth breath tickling over me.
Suddenly I pulled away from him and reached into my pocket; the pearl he had given me still remained zipped within a smaller compartment inside my bottoms. "Take this," I twisted in his arms to press the pearl in his hands.
"I can't believe you actually brought it." He smiled warmly at me before confusion set in. "Why do you want me to have it?"
"I want you to promise you'll bring it back to me." I stared deep into his blue eyes; I needed to give him something to hold on to if he started to forget what was real. "That was the only comfort I had when you were gone. I don't know what I'd do if neither you nor it made it back to me."
Peeta stared at me for a long time. I could tell he was debating whether it was a smart move to take the pearl from me, it was making a promise he couldn't guarantee he would keep. "You don't understand how much I want to make it back to you." He murmured.
"Then you'd better try your hardest." I silenced the conversation by pressing my lips to his, the kiss wasn't soft – nor was it slow and passionate. It was hard and firm and full of all the fear we both had no other way of letting out. I clung to him, my hands weaving behind the back of his head and his neck, afraid to even let the smallest amount of space come between us. I ignored the pain of the metal cuffs digging into my back as Peeta held onto me with all the strength he could muster. When we came apart we were both panting and longing for more. Instead Peeta pressed his lips sweetly against mine.
"We should get some sleep in before we leave tomorrow." And instantly, the giddy feeling was replaced by the dread of what the next day would bring.
I slept in Peeta's lap again that night, only I'd refused to handcuff his hands to the railing, instead wishing to have them wrapped around me. It proved to be the smart move when all of us spent a fitful night's sleep, waking up each time one of us had a nightmare. The next morning we feasted on a miss-match of food, wanting to fill our stomachs with anything we could get our hands on. Tigris spent over an hour remaking us all so that in the end we looked just like the rest of the Capitol refugees fleeing down the streets. We'd agreed on the final plan, Cressida and Pollux would lead – acting as our guides. Then Gale and I would position ourselves within the refugees going to Snow's mansion. Peeta still insisted on going on his own to create a diversion if we needed.
"Take care," was all Cressida said before she and Pollux left, joining the flow of people in the street.
I dug in my pocket for the key to Peeta's handcuffs, glad to finally see the back of them. Once they were undone he flexed his wrists slowly, the bands of red looking even more prominent now nothing was hiding them. I couldn't take it anymore and threw my arms around him. When his arms closed around me I realised how much I'd missed the closeness of his touch, the feel of his strong hands splayed across my back.
"Please be careful, and don't do anything stupid." I whispered into his ear.
"I know the pill's a last resort, Katniss." He leant back to look me in the eyes. "I love you, whatever happens, don't forget that."
I pressed a brief kiss to his lips, unwilling to kiss him any longer for fear that I wouldn't let go. "I love you too."
"Katniss, it's time." Gale interrupted. He stood a good few feet away from us, looking extremely awkward. I had to award him for even letting us have a moment at all.
I gave Tigris a quick kiss on the cheek, "Thank you." I looked behind her to where Finnick was laid on a sofa, she'd insisted on keeping him downstairs with her in case he needed medical attention.
"Please keep trying to contact Plutarch." She nodded eagerly. I walked towards the door, giving Peeta one last glance before Gale and I stepped outside, pulling our scarves up as far as we could.
The first thing that struck me was how cold it was, the sharp icy snowflakes settled on the little skin we had showing. The next was how little light there was. Really, these were the perfect conditions, except for the fact that I couldn't make out Cressida and Pollux. Gale and I dropped our heads and followed along with the stream of refugees. We made our way out of the alley and funnelled out into one of the main avenues; eventually it began to brighten – even though the snow persisted. Finally I could locate Cressida and Pollux. I craned my neck to see if I could spot Peeta, anxiety immediately filled me with not knowing where he was – hopefully he had chosen to stay behind and help Tigris with Finnick. I knew that was unlikely.
Suddenly, gunfire ripped through the crowd, and several people around us slumped to the and I dropped down also after the second round of fires and made our way over to one of the shops, hiding behind a display.
"Who is it?" He snapped, unable to see past the display.
"It's coming from the roof." I watched a few more rounds as they began to shoot down the Peacekeepers. "It's rebels by the looks of it."
"We'd better get moving if we don't want to get shot or recognised." I nodded in agreement and the two of us made our way down the street, hugging the wall as we went. We managed to acquire two guns from wounded Peacekeepers. When we reached the next intersection, there were even more rebels pouring into the streets, directly firing at any Peacekeepers who advanced towards them.
Many of the refugees in the crossfire were wounded or killed. Gale and I began to shoot on instinct; we had no side at the moment – only each other. Covering each other's backs we managed to fight our way through the block. As we made our way from block to block we came across a whole array of pods, luckily they were detonated before we were close enough to feel the effects of any of them. Trying to get away from one of the pods, I blasted the lock to an apartment door – Gale rushed inside but by the time I reached him he had already been seized by a group of Peacekeepers.
"No!" I cried, pointing my gun towards them. He mouthed something to me which I was unable to interpret. I didn't want to move any closer in case they recognised me, and would instantly realise who he was.
"Go!" He yelled, and in my panic I blindly followed his orders, racing away from scene. I was alone, Gale was a prisoner, I'd lost Cressida and Pollux long ago, and I still hadn't even caught sight of Peeta. I fell into a doorway, tears stinging in my eyes. How was I supposed to do this alone? I'd just left Gale to the mercy of those Peacekeepers – not even leaving him with a way out. Peeta had his nightlock pill. Gale had been mouth "shoot me" and I hadn't even been able to fulfill his last request.
My only way of saving him, of saving everyone, was to get to Snow. They had all been brave; I had to do the same. I began to cover myself back up, pulling my hood further over my head and hiding my gun, before following a couple of old men down the street until we reached the City Circle. Across the wide expanse ringed by grand buildings was the Presidential Mansion. I began to weave my way towards it, fitting in easily with the dishevelled crowd of refugees. About halfway across the Circle I noticed the concrete barriers outside, forming a rectangle in front of the entrance to the mansion. I noticed it was packed with refugees, instantly I assumed it was simply residents who had been chosen to be sheltered in the mansion, but on closer inspection I realised they were all children – toddlers to teenagers. They were all terrified, guarded on all sides by , I realized they were being used as Snow's personal shield.
I was pushed to the side when the crowd suddenly surged with cries of the rebels. They'd broken into the circle. My attention was soon diverted when a hovercraft appeared over the children. It was marked with the Capitol's seal and rained scores of silver parachutes down into the children's grasp. They all clung to them desperately, hoping they brought all the nice things they'd seen them bring to people in need during the Games. Only they didn't contain gifts, after about five seconds the about half of the parachutes began to simultaneously explode.
A wail erupted from the crowd as the snow was stained red, with scattered limbs and writhing bodies. I had to put a hand over my mouth to stop the scream from erupting from my chest - followed by the bile which continued to churn in my stomach. Moments later rebel paramedics rushed into the area, I could tell their uniforms anywhere. Somehow, amidst the chaos I spotted her blonde plait trailing down her back, the duck tail formed by her untucked shirt when she removed her coat to cover an injured child.
Without even realising it I was pushing my way through the crowd, the strangled cry never leaving my throat as I tried to scream her name. I was almost at the barricades when I finally managed to force out her name.
"Prim!" I cried desperately, somehow I think she heard me because she slowly turned towards me, her lips about to form my name when the rest of the parachutes went off.