Amanda,
I have been too busy lately to write. I apologise.
Our alternate son arrived at the house today.
I yelled at him for a few minutes. Another loss of control on my part. I wanted to know why he interfered with our Spock's choice in what he wanted to do.
He thought I was demanding he come to the colony.
His Sarek was...different. While I may have been angry and disappointed in Spock's choice to join Starfleet instead of the Vulcan Science Academy, I never stopped talking to him. I never ignored him for 18 years of his life (though, I must say, that much time has yet to pass for us.) I can't even imagine what it must be like to have decided purposefully to basically outcast him.
We had so much trouble just having a child. Why would we go through all of that pain and worry just for me to throw it away because of one decision? It makes no logical sense.
I have decided I am glad this is an alternative to what seems to have been our original path, except of course for your death and the death of Vulcan. I am much easier to deal with, according to the other Spock.
I am getting confused. I have too much on my mind to waste with thinking on what my other self was like. The farm is not going well. It is too much work for one person and I find that I have no idea what I am doing.
I am going to ask for help soon. There is Starfleet still patrolling, and there are my farming neighbours who seem to be doing all right for themselves and their plots of land.
I am losing sleep again and I am in a constant state of frustration.
I wish you were here to help.
I love you.
Sarek.