Chapter Twenty-Six: Seniors

The Kururugi Affair was a strange occurrence at the beginning of Emperor Richard vi Britannia's reign.

It began with a single letter found in Empress Nunnally's quarters while the rooms were being cleaned. As the letter mentioned Zero, it was brought to him. Zero denied any connection with the letter and proved through a quick handwriting test that it had not been him. The letter was quickly confiscated by Emperor Richard and sent to his grandmother, Nunnally. The former empress acknowledged the letter and said that it had come to her during her reign, from the Zero who had killed the Demon Emperor. More information could not be gotten from the former empress, only that the paper must have fallen off her desk during her move, during those first days of her husband's illness. As the correspondence was a private matter, Nunnally allowed for a copy to be made for study while she kept the original.

The second letter of the Kururugi Affair came a month after the first was released to the public. This one came from a woman whose mother had worked as a nurse in Japan. The woman admitted that her mother had always told stories about the patients that came into her care and seemed to have had a special fondness for one old man, probably because the old man had such a hard passing. The second letter had been left in the mother's care as the man had passed away before he had finished it. By her own admission, the woman stated that the letter wasn't in its entirety, because she remembered it going on for pages and she now only had two. She couldn't say whether the other pages had been lost during a move or just misplaced within either her or her mother's house, which they were cleaning out at the time.

The news of the second letter caught the public imagination by storm, historians using the approval to get into archives that had previously been barred to them. No more letters were found in the papers of the Demon Emperor nor were any found with any of his known associates or their children.

Kallen Kozuki was the last to be interviewed by historians, as her health was fragile. She vehemently denied having received any letter from Suzaku Kururugi, repeating that she had killed him herself many times. After her death weeks later, one of her children admitted that he remembered having seen his mother crying over something before she burned it. Whether or not this was a third letter or just news that her friend, Kaname Ohgi had died in a car accident, has not been proven as both happened on the same day.

After a year of analyzing the letters and checking the dates, historians came to a universal agreement that both were fakes, written by Britannians who were anti-Richard and wanted to stir up trouble for his rule. Historians did appeal to the royal family to examine Suzaku Kururugi's body, but were denied by Nunnally who implored them to let him rest in peace.

The two Kururugi letters are produced here in full with a transcription of their contents as both letters were in poor shape.

The Empress' Letter

Nunnally,

You have received my Zero's letter of resignation by now, and I beg you to consider it. The symbol will live forever, but the man behind it won't. To that end, the resignation comes with several people who could take up the mantle of Zero, ones that I have looked over and believe that you can trust. In the end, it is up to you to choose my successor and I know you will choose them well.

As for myself, I just want to thank you for making my job easier. You never asked who was behind the mask; although I think you figured it out by the end. You always defended me when the world started to get nervous about having a terrorist symbol in the heart of Britannia and you let me carry on as I wanted...as Lelouch wanted.

You must have figured out his plan already, Nunnally. You were always very smart.

I'm sorry I've had to lie to you for all of these years, but it was for the good of the world. And it was because it was Lelouch's last wish. He wanted to give the world peace, something that you've managed quite neatly on your own as well. That was the truth of why he died, of why he asked me to kill him. And, of all people, you deserve the truth.

Lelouch was never the tyrant that he pretended to be. He nearly fell apart when he learned that you were still alive and that you were going to become his enemy. It was only because I was still so angry at him that I pushed him forward. That is not something that I ask forgiveness for, nor do I ask forgiveness for killing your brother. As I said, it was his plan from the start and my only chance to clear Euphy's name. I regret not acting sooner, but how I could have acted I still don't know. I'm not the strategist that Lelouch was. I've always just been a soldier.

Just know that he loved you until the end, Nunnally. And nothing he did ever changed that.

Lelouch confided to me once that he had wanted to make me your knight before I accepted Euphy's offer, he got his wish this time. It has been an honor to stand by your side and watch you grow. You are strong, Nunnally, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. No one but you could have kept the world like this, even through those tough moments. There were times that I doubted your abilities and, for that, I apologize as well. You have always been a good friend and a fine empress of Britannia. I am proud and I am sure that Lelouch would be too.

Don't try to find me after you receive this, I've gotten good at hiding over the years. In any case, I've been dead for far longer. I sign this letter with the name of a dead man, because you deserve the truth after all of these years. Just let me slip away and remember what I was, a good friend and companion instead of what I became for those two years, death in a white Knightmare and a traitor to the world. In my more selfish moments, I would prefer to be remembered that way.

If you need to know more, ask Lloyd, Jeremiah and Miss. Cecile. They were in on the plan from the start. Kallen has probably figured it out by now as well. Between the four of them, you can get all the answers you need.

It was an honor to serve you, my lady. And it was an even bigger honor to know you, Nunnally. Those years we had together will always be dear to me.

Your friend,
Suzaku Kururugi

The Deathbed Letter

Damn you Lelouch.

Damn you for putting this geass on me and damn you for being dead.

I don't even know why I'm writing, because you'll never get this. Unless I find C.C. and she can somehow pass this to you through C's World or I burn this letter, you will never read it. I guess I'm doing it to ignore the pain.

You put that geass on me so I wouldn't just sacrifice my life, something that I'm still not happy about. I had many things to atone for when you gave me that order, but I am glad that you gave me a chance to do what I had to do. I tried to do what you would have done as Zero, minus the grand plans and daring campaigns. And the hand motions. I could never get those down right. I did everything you needed me to and then left Nunnally in good hands.

I hadn't planned to. I had planned to get the geass removed by Jeremiah until the first war broke out. I was Nunnally's only defender then and I needed it to be extra sure that no harm would come to her. I needed to know that she would be safe above all else. When the war ended, I just forgot. No. There were other important things that caught my attention.

Nunnally was married in the tenth year of her reign to a nice prince from the EU. I know you would have raged at the marriage, but Nunnally was happy so I didn't protest. And yes, I looked into the guy's background and found nothing wrong. You would have yelled at me for that too, but I don't care. They were happy for many years. He died just last spring, and I'm sure that Nunnally was heartbroken. But I couldn't go back. I had already passed the mask to someone else because she needed someone strong and fit. She had her three children there to comfort her, and all of her grandchildren. One of them is on the throne now, Nunnally stepped down when her husband started to get sick.

Richard reminds me a lot of you Lelouch.

I'm sure Nunnally will live a far longer and happier life than I will, especially surrounded by her family like she is. And, I trust the new Zero. She'll keep Nunnally safe. She might even do a far better job than I did.

Oh God, Lelouch. It hurts really bad.

I know you didn't mean to put the geass on me. You would have chosen a better command, on that you could exercise more control over. And I know that you wouldn't have done it like this. You wouldn't have let me die like this.

The geass is making me live, even though everything else is shutting down. The nurses here have no idea how I'm still alive. Anyone else would have been dead a day ago. I'm not going to go quietly or quickly. It's going to take days.

I envy you your death, because it was quick. I made sure it would be. Why couldn't you have returned the favor?

There's not a lot left to say. The world continued in peace after you were dead and it looks like it will go on after I'm dead. It was a good plan.

Thank you for helping me clear Euphy's name.

I miss you.

I love you.

You were my best friend, Lelouch. I never forgot that. I don't know if you knew it all the way through, but that's what made it hard. I hated you for killing Euphy, but I couldn't completely, because you were still that little lost prince in my mind. Even the days we spent at Ashford lying to each other meant something. That's why it took so long to forgive you, because you were as dear to me as Euphy.

That's the one thing that I need to know now. Did you know that I forgave you everything in the end? Did you understand or did you die thinking that I hated you? You should know that the hardest thing for me to do was walk off of that platform and pretend that nothing was wrong. I guess it should have been a warning to me for this, because it took a while for Suzaku Kururugi to die. It took years.

I really hope that this doesn't take years. I want it to be over. It hurts too much.

Lelouch-

Taken from Death in a White Knightmare: A Biography of Suzaku Kururugi by Alysia Cailean