Chapter 25 – New Adventures
Donna shuffled me into the TARDIS and away from the blaming eyes of the humans. I found new and fitting clothes. When I came back to the console room, it was crowded with people. The Doctor took the entire population of the moon base back to Earth. Donna and I helped him fly, but I didn't join in with their enthusiasm. Jack shot me one last dirty look; he blamed me for Martha's death. Before she left, Grace patted my shoulder and told me to look after the Doctor.
We dropped off everyone in London. A few passerby stared as 60 amused and confused people came out of a little blue box. When everyone was gone, I piloted the TARDIS to last August, and handed the Doctor a letter. It was a paradox, but a small one. I explained to him, and he returned briefly.
Afterwords, Donna insisted that she take us to Martha's family. The Doctor and Donna left me behind in the TARDIS. I was surprised by their trust. I wouldn't let myself watch them on the scanner, so I roamed the TARDIS's hallways until I found a mirror standing awkwardly in a hallway.
My hair was a long and wavy brown-maroon. I pushed my new bangs off of my face; my eyes were light blue, cold and not pretty. My face was common and slightly squashed, my nose too small. I was an average height, thankfully. My figure was a little thick, but I could work off any extra weight that I gained. I smiled, and it fit my face. I stood in front of the mirror, running my fingertips over my cheekbones and staring into my own eyes. It felt so weird, being in a different skin. I didn't feel like my personality had changed at all.
"I've stood there before," the Doctor appeared behind me. I didn't turn, but watched him carefully in the mirror. "After a tough regeneration. It never gets old."
I finally turned around and walked silently with him back to the console room. Donna was silently crying in the chair. The Doctor grabbed me by the elbow and led me to the kitchen instead.
"She can't regenerate," the Doctor said about Donna. "It would have been even more of a miracle. You had a really tough time with her, didn't you? You poured years of yourself into her."
"That's why the regeneration was so hard," I said. I was still feeling some ill after-effects.
"That was brave. Doing that to save her." He sat down at the table, with two cups of tea. I pulled out a chair.
"I did that so that you would talk to me," I said honestly.
"You thought of Natasha," he referenced the first person that the Master had killed. "And you realized what you had done in the end. You saved the Universe."
"First I helped to destroy it," I argued. I didn't deserve to be free.
"I destroyed Gallifrey," the Doctor countered. "There was no going back from that. I knew what I was doing. I'm sorry for that, I took it all away, I caused this."
I stood up suddenly, and my chair fell over. I turned to the refrigerator, glancing over a few tacked up pictures. The Doctor stood up, too, and crossed hims arms.
"I forgive you," he said, with the tone of someone who'd said it too often. I looked at the floor. When I turned he was gone; and my conscience clearer.
It felt like decades later, but only a few days had passed in the TARDIS when that the Doctor handed me a small wooden box engraved with simple designs and a single lily.
"Some of Martha's ashes are inside," he said quietly, speaking of the dust that he had collected for her family. It was all that was left of Martha. I held the box and watched him pilot the TARDIS alone. Donna entered the room silently.
He opened the outer doors. We were suspended above a brilliant supernova. I didn't know which star it had been and I didn't ask, this was a time for silence. We stood at the edge of the TARDIS doors, staring into the painfully bright light of a dying star.
The Doctor stood between me and Donna and opened the box. He handed it to me, and his sparkling eyes said everything. He wanted me to forgive her for killing me.
"Goodbye, Martha," he said simply. "This star is yours. You deserved just as much." I took the dust in my hand and threw it out of the TARDIS and into the star. It floated gently out of sight and into the bright light.
I stood at the doors for awhile afterwords, staring at the star from behind the force field. Martha was gone, so was my planet and people. The Doctor and I were the last Time Lords; the Master wasn't in the picture for now. Now that there was no hope, I finally could say goodbye. I closed the TARDIS doors and piloted it, alone, smoothly into the vortex.
After we had left Martha's star, the Doctor landed on Earth again. Donna left briefly to visit her grandfather and mother.
"What happens now?" I asked the Doctor. He was under the console, making adjustments to the TARDIS. He ducked out from under the wires and stood up to face me.
"You could come with me."
"Traveling? Like Donna?" I asked. Donna was telling her family that her memory was back, that she was okay, and that she was leaving again. She would travel with the Doctor for a long time.
"It's your choice. You could make your home wherever you like. Live the rest of your regenerations on Earth," he looked down, "or anywhere you like, really. You could grow your own TARDIS." I considered his offer. As much as I wanted to be free of my past, I couldn't live on my own. The Doctor patiently waited for my response.
"I can come with you?" I asked, "Helping you save planets and people?" He nodded. "Interfering?"
"To a certain degree," he swallowed. "I was wrong, before. I shouldn't have messed with time. I don't change fixed moments. Some things are not for me to decide." They weren't for me to decide, either, I thought. But I hesitated to refuse.
"I'll stay," I said finally. "I'll come with you and Donna, if you'll have me."
He smiled. Then, he seemed to remember something and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out my old locket, with the chain still attached and the Master's Time Lord consciousness still inside. He took my hand and placed the locket in my palm, curling my fingers around it.
"It's yours, then," he looked into my eyes. There would be no arguments.
"You're trusting me with this?" He turned and walked back to the console in way of reply.
"Just don't get too attached," he said lightly.
Suddenly, the doors flew open and in walked Donna.
"Hello!" She surveyed the serious scene. "What are you doing just standing around here then?" she said loudly. The Doctor flicked a switch and the doors swung shut. "You coming with us?" she asked me. The Doctor raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't tell me you haven't asked yet," she said in disbelief.
"Yes, I am," I laughed.
We all smiled, and stood around the TARDIS, ready to go anywhere and everywhere.
I sighed with content and ran my fingers over the humming controls.
"Where to?"
End
Author's Note: This fanfiction took me a long time to write. It has been my biggest challenge, but I could never let go of the idea. I did not have a beta reader, which made it much more difficult. I'm really happy with the result, and I'd like to thank everyone who helped me with the writing process and all of my reviewers. It's been a long, wild journey, and this story has meant more to me than it probably should.
Thank Yous:
Thanks to my real life friends Andrea, Keenan, Hallie, Danielle, Katie, Carson, and Mariah. You have supported me since that first paragraph, even though you think fanfiction is the lamest thing ever. Thank you for the input and character inspiration.
"[You] can't set up a character for failure, they have to do it themselves." - Mariah
A giant thank you to Stephanie (trueroyalblue) and Allison, who have helped me more than anyone else with writing.
"Stick him on Mars! With a SPOON!" "He'd make friends with the Martians." "Or you could put him IN the spoon." - Allison
Last, I would like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers! Thanks for reading and sending me your reactions. Any constructive criticism would be appreciated!