A/N: In case anyone's wondering, yes, I did bawl hysterically while writing this chapter.
24. Pyre
"Merlin, what are you doing in there?" Arthur shouted as he banged on Merlin's door with a heavy fist.
Merlin shuffled out of bed and opened the door a crack, glaring at the prince. "I thought you told me I could sleep as much as I wanted when we got back to Camelot."
"You've slept enough," Arthur replied and pushed his way into Merlin's room. "I need you to polish my armor."
Merlin groaned, but started to throw his clothes on anyway. "Can't someone else do it, just for today?"
Arthur shook his head and gave Merlin a smile that was hard to interpret. "I don't trust anybody else to do it right. Not for today. It's important."
Merlin winced. Arthur was right, and he felt like a jerk. "Right. I'll be along in a few minutes."
Arthur nodded and mumbled, "Hurry up," over his shoulder as he left, closing the door behind him.
They'd gotten back to Camelot yesterday evening, and once they'd met with Uther and explained what had happened (minus a few choice details, mostly kisses and Morgana), Merlin had gone to his bed as quickly as possible and hadn't moved since.
Uther had informed them that Gwaine had heroically returned Leon's body, after which Arthur insisted a proper funeral would be held as soon as possible. This afternoon was apparently as soon as possible.
Sighing, Merlin tied his handkerchief around his neck and shuffled out to the next room. Gaius eyed him with a worried expression. "Good morning, Merlin."
"Morning," he replied half-heartedly. "Got to go polish armor."
"Ah," Gaius said with a nod and turned back to the book he's been shelving. He didn't want to press the boy with too many questions yet. He'd had a long few days.
Ten minutes later, Merlin pushed open the door to Arthur's chambers and was greeted by a "There you are!"
"Told you I'd be here," Merlin muttered grumpily as he headed for the pile of armor in the corner of the room.
Arthur didn't snap back at him, but he shot Merlin a sympathetic glance before saying, "I've got to go speak with my father. Try to have those done by the time I get back." His tone was gentler than usual, but Merlin didn't acknowledge the change and just waited for him to walk out the door before he picked up a rag.
Merlin sat quietly, scrubbing little specks of dust from the surface of the metal. It was the first time he'd been awake and in a comfortable place for days. It was a good feeling, but he couldn't shake the knots in his stomach. One of the knots was Morgana, and how he was ever going to keep Uther safe with her around. Another was the impending dread of Leon's funeral, and the likelihood that all the emotions he'd been bottling were liable to come pouring out like he was a four year old girl. Plus, he still had no idea where he really stood with Arthur, and now that they were back in Camelot he'd probably never know. He did his best to not even consider that the prince now knew he was a warlock.
He was idly scraping his thumb along the edge of a gauntlet when Arthur came back in. His jaw dropped just a bit when he saw that Merlin was actually done polishing. "Huh. Well done."
Merlin was going to say 'thanks' but for some reason he couldn't make himself say it. Shrugging, he started picking up pieces of armor and strapping them to Arthur methodically. He managed to get every piece on without incident, and surprisingly, without Arthur interrupting him to tell him what a terrible job he was doing. Then he reached for Arthur's cape, which had been draped across the back of a chair. He circled behind the prince and reached his arms around to latch the pin in the front.
Arthur reached a hand up and grabbed hold of Merlin's arm where it was laying against his collarbone. "Thank you."
Merlin was a little taken aback at this show of compassion, and he was even more surprised when Arthur tugged on his arm and spun around so they were facing eachother, Merlin's arm still draped over Arthur's neck. "I know I promised you that you could rest. And you can. As soon as Leon gets the honor he's due."
Merlin barely noticed the fact that Arthur's hands had travelled to his waist because he was too busy watching his eyes. Merlin felt like he was trying to bore a hole into his head. And he couldn't think of anything to say.
The bell from the tower rang out, signaling that it was two o'clock. Arthur pulled his hands back gently and clenched his jaw. "Come on."
The funeral pyre stood in the center of the courtyard, and an innumerable amount of knights were easily noticeable by their shiny armor and bright red capes among the crowd. There was barely even space to move by the time Arthur strode out onto the balcony of the castle. Merlin had shuffled down the stairs and managed to find Gwaine among the throng of people, though he wasn't too hard to spot considering he was carrying a torch.
"People of Camelot, Knights, friends. I stand before you today with the grave duty of honoring one of my oldest friends for a life well-lived. Sir Leon was a Knight of Camelot if I've ever known one, a man with a kind heart, a strong sword, and a loyalty I have seen in few others. His death, while tragic, was in every way honorable and befitting of a man of his standing. I confess, I don't believe I'd be here to make this speech if he hadn't put himself in front of the arrow that was meant for me. I can't—" Arthur's voice broke a little here, and it was then that Merlin finally began to cry.
Taking a deep breath, Arthur continued, "I can't ever thank him for his sacrifice, other than to send him off like the hero he was. He will be sorely missed in Camelot, and in my own life." At that, Arthur nodded almost imperceptibly to Gwaine, who walked forward and dropped his torch onto the base of the pyre, bowing his head reverently for a second before he stepped back.
Merlin was shaking by the time Gwaine returned to his side, and he placed his arm gingerly around Merlin, who all but collapsed into the knight's chest. Gwaine pulled Merlin tighter against him and they stood like that for a while, watching the fire burn even as most of the people began to leave. Some of the knights stood there longer, with stoic faces and decidedly heavy hearts.
Glancing up to the balcony, Merlin noticed Arthur was gone. Gwaine felt him shift and let Merlin go, eyes still transfixed on the pyre. He headed toward the steps of the castle, whispering a soft, "Bye, Leon," as he passed.
Merlin was halfway back to his own room when he stopped in his tracks. He wanted nothing more than to go curl up in his bed and fall into a fitful sleep. But, despite Arthur's promise to let him rest, he figured it would be best if he made sure there was nothing the prince needed before he hid himself away for a while.
He turned around and walked in the opposite direction, wiping warm tears out of his eyes and squaring his shoulders resolutely before he pushed open the door to Arthur's room.