The lobby of Daten City Hall was full of members of the Army of Darkness. The undead knights patrolled around the room, swords and axes at the ready. They circled around the receptionist desk in the middle of the room in total silence. Two knights stood on each side of the door leading down to the cellar. Suddenly, the one on the right side noticed the metal knob on the wooden door shaking and turning. Using its sword, it slashed the knob off the door; it hit the floor with a metallic clank. The noise behind the door ceased.
The two undead knights were taken by surprise when the door flew off its hinges and flew ten feet forward before falling flat on the floor. The Anomie brothers ran out of the doorway, the Anarchy sisters were right between them. Behind the blockade of angels were Brief and his clone, Bra, walking slowly. Socks took the knight on the left side of the door. He drove both of his light blue Sais into each of the ghoul's glowing green eyes and twisted them. The lights in the skull's eye sockets flickered for a little bit before going out for good. Socks pulled his blades out and kicked the lifeless body to the ground.
On the right, Socks' brother, Boxer, grabbed the unsuspecting knight by one of its arms and judo flipped him over his shoulder. The knight slammed on the floor, coughing up dust on impact. Boxer then brought his foot down on the head of the creature, crushing it to pieces.
Stocking sprinted in front of the group to the desk in the center, decapitating two knights on her way to her destination. She leaped on the desk and called to her sister. "PANTY! NOW!" she yelled.
Panty Anarchy aimed both her guns, set on rapid fire, to her sister and fired a barrage of bullets. Stocking began doing what she does best with her swords and began deflecting the rounds of her swords. The light blue bullets ricocheted of the blades and began hitting the members of the Army of Darkness around the desk. Some pierced their chests and some went through their heads. Panty stopped firing eventually. The undead knights around the desk stood and swayed a little before they all collapsed to the floor simultaneously. Stocking sheathed her swords and jumped down from the desk. "That's all of them," she said.
Socks knelt down to one of the lifeless bodies and flipped it onto its back. With a Sai, he made a vertical cut from the bottom of the knight's neck to its lower torso. He dug his fingers into each side of the incision and pried it open, revealing a cesspool of thick black blood. Bra and Brief walked over to him. "You two know the drill." Socks said to the two Geeks.
Bra nodded and stripped down to her underwear, leaving her shoes on. Brief hesitated for a moment before doing the same. Bra then reached into the body and submerged her hands in the black goo. She then began rubbing the blood on her arms like sunscreen. Her white skin became blackened as she ran her hands over it. Once her arms her blackened she moved on to her legs, then her torso. Brief was slowly doing the same, gasping as the cold fluid made contact with his skin. "Yeah, that's right Geekboy; rub it all over your gross ginger skin." Panty commented from the side.
"This is so gross." Brief made a comment of his own as he rubbed the black ooze on his chest.
"It's camouflage, if Bra's right, then you two should be able to go back up to the top floor and grab the Necronomicon page without the Army of Darkness hassling you." Socks explained. "Meanwhile, we'll have the demons distracted down here. Also, quick question, Brief, can you read Latin?"
"Somewhat." Brief responded.
"Good enough, while you're getting it, read the spell that sends the Army of Darkness back, it's on the same page as the summon one was. And remember to deactivate the shielding around the building."
"Also, can one of you find their room and take an upper decker in their bathroom?" Panty asked.
"A what?" Brief asked.
"An upper decker, it's when you shit in the tank instead of the bowl." Panty explained.
"…I don't have to poo, though." Brief said. Panty turned to Bra.
"Do you have to shit, Bra?"
Bra made a so-so gesture with her hand.
Both the Geeks were covered head to toe in Army of Darkness blood. They went to the stairwell and began their long climb to the 30th floor. Once they were gone, Socks picked up the read intercom on the receptionist desk and spoke into it. "Scanty, Kneesocks, and…clones. If you can hear me, then you know that my friends and I are in the lobby again. We don't plan on going back up there, too much has happened already, but we're not leaving without the page. So, we'll play by your rules. Come down to the lobby, we'll fight one on one. If we win then we get to leave with the page. If you win, then…I guess killing us will be more than a reward for you guys."
Socks was about to hang up the phone, but Panty grabbed it from him. "AND YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF CUNT LICKERS!" she shouted before slamming the phone one the hook. Socks exhaled slowly.
"Fucking really?" he said out loud.
It took only two seconds for the intercom to answer back, it was Crewsocks. "First of all, it's Jockstrap and Crewsocks, jarhead, remember them. Second, we gladly accept your challenge. Say your final prayers angels, and prepare to be defeated." The sound of the phone hanging up followed Crewsocks' dialogue.
The sound of the elevator ding sounded and the car started downwards to the lobby. The angels kept their distance from the elevator, keeping in mind that the demons might come out shooting. Boxer's eyes shifted over to Panty, who had a cocky look on her face. "You seem confident," he commented.
"Course I am. Just watch, we're gonna beat these demons and then go home with the page. Everything's going to be fine." Panty said.
"Hope you're right." Boxer said, "How are you feeling Socks?" He turned to face his brother, only to be immediately greeted by the sight of Socks and Stocking in a make out session.
"That's going to get old really fast," he commented. He returned his gaze to Panty, whose hand was finding its way under her dress.
"Panty! That's my brother!" he yelled.
"What? I think it's kind of hot," she said.
Socks and Stocking broke their kiss when they heard the elevator ding, letting them know that it arrived. The angels withdrew their weapons and prepared for what could be their last fight.
….
Brief and Bra had reached the top floor. They managed not to sweat as they thought it might soil their cameo. They went through the big room where the angels were previously captured. Undead knights were lounging around and standing stationary. The worst the two disguised Geeks got from them were a few glares; one of the knights even gave a friendly wave to them. Bra couldn't help, but wave back to it. Brief lowered her hand. "C'mon Bra, this is serious," he said.
They ventured deeper into the room where they to a door marked, S & K. Brief guessed that they were the initials of the demon sisters and that the door led to their room. He pushed the door open and sure enough, it was their bedroom. Bra took one look at their bed and belly flopped onto it. It was a waterbed. She rolled around on it and jumped her knees. Brief began digging through one of the black dressers as Bra had a ball with the water bed. He rummaged through the drawer and pulled what seemed to be a black bra. "Wonder what this transforms into," he said silently as he put it back inside.
Brief went through three dressers, each with five drawers. He found the page in the very last draw. "Found it," he said and turned back towards the bed, it was empty.
"Bra?" he nervously called out as he approached he bed. To the left of the bed, there was a door that he missed on his search. He slowly pushed it open; it was the demon sisters' bathroom. Bra was taking an upper decker in the tank of their toilet. She raised her fist in celebration.
"Bra…" Brief sighed.
….
Boxer had Jockstrap by his horns. The gay angels swung him 180 before throwing him into the wall. Before Boxer could land another hit on him, Jockstrap shot forward from the wall and tackled Boxer to the ground. Boxer was quick to turn them over so that he was on the top. "I hate being on the bottom," he said and grabbed Jockstrap by his horns again and began banging the demon's head against the hard floor.
Stocking was busy with Kneesocks, the glasses wearing demon was on offense against the Goth angel. Stocking eventually surprised Kneesocks by hitting her in the face with the end of her sword. The demon staggered backward before Stocking swiped her off her feet. While Kneesocks was lying on her back, Stocking took her glasses and threw them on the floor before crushing them under her feet. "Let's so you try to fight now, four eyes." Stocking taunted her.
Kneesocks got back up. "This makes no difference," she said. Her vision was blurred, but she could still make out Stocking's shape.
Panty was engaged in a shootout with Scanty. The blonde angel was under the desk and used in as cover, while Scanty remained in the elevator using the semi open doors as cover.
Meanwhile, Socks and Crewsocks were once again engaged in one on one combat. Crewsocks aggressively swung his tomahawks at Socks, which he blocked. Sparks flew as the angel metal met the demon metal.
Suddenly, a loud crackle of thunder outside the building caught the attention of the angels and demons. The lifeless shells of all the fallen knights began to evaporate. This was soon followed by the metal shielding around the building retracting upwards. Brief and Bra must've done it Socks thought.
"What's going on?" Scanty demanded.
"Geekboy and Bra snuck back up to the top floor and got our page back and got rid of the shielding while we kept your dumbasses distracted." Panty shouted from across the room.
"You mean…this was all a ruse?" Scanty was dumfounded.
"Fuck yeah it was, you really didn't think we we're going to play fair did you?" Panty continued taunting her.
Scanty was quick to lose her cool and screamed in rage before sprinting from the elevator and shooting directly at Panty behind the desk.
….
Brief took his hand off the lever that controls the building's lockdown shielding. He and Bra were in the security room across the demon sisters' room. "That should do it," he said and turned to exit the room, "Let's get out of here."
Bra followed him out of the room and back down the stairwell to the lobby.
….
Socks embedded a Sai into Crewsocks' horn. The demon recoiled back with a shout, the Sai still in. Socks then began assaulting his face with one punch after another before finally grabbing his Sai and severing Crewsocks' horn from his head. He dropped to his hands and knees as Socks picked his severed horn up from the ground. Socks then threw one Sai through Crewsocks' hand and pinned it to the floor. The demon cried out as Socks did the same to his other hand. He looked up and saw the angel approaching him, horn in hand. "Feeling anything yet…Crewsocks? I remember you telling me you couldn't feel anything, you know, being a replicate." Socks said.
Crewsocks grunted. "I only feel rage and an undying hatred for you, Socks Anomie," he spoke his last words.
Socks brought the horn down on Crewsocks' head. It went through his cranium and protruded from his lower jaw, black blood spewed out of the points of penetration. The demon's head dropped to the floor. Shortly, after the lifeless body of Crewsocks seemed to melt into a puddle of black ooze. Jockstrap saw what happened from his skirmish with Boxer. "BROTHER!" he yelled.
During this, Boxer withdrew his Uzis and relentlessly fired into Jockstrap's chest. Small amounts of the demon's discolored blood spurted out when each machine gun bullet hit its mark. Jockstrap staggered a little before falling to the ground.
Just then, Brief and Bra came running out of the stairwell door. "I GOT IT! I GOT IT! LET'S GO!" Brief yelled at the angels as they ran past them and towards the exit door. Stocking broke out of Kneesocks' hold and ran too.
"Later! Bitch!" Panty yelled at Scanty before taking off after her friends.
As they were running towards the door, a loud shot gunshot echoed throughout the room. The first thing everyone did was quickly look at one another to see if anyone was hurt. When all gazes shifted to Bra, the replicate was on her knees, clutching her gut, which was dripping black ooze.
Jockstrap laughed weakly from the floor before dropping his shotgun and going limp. His body melted into black goo like his brother.
"BRA! NO!" Panty ran up to Brief's clone and scooped her up bridle style and began out the exit.
Outside the exit, the Anomie brothers, Stocking, and Brief were getting in See-Through. Brief had just handed Socks the Necronomicon page. Panty came running towards them with Bra. "GUYS! YOU GOTTA HELP BRA!" Panty screamed at them.
She laid Bra in the backseat bench. The clone weakly removed her hands from her stomach, revealing a large gaping hole. Bra coughed up black blood. Panty rubbed the black cameo from Bra's face. "Bra! Please! You're gonna be ok! We're gonna get you out of here!"
Bra weakly placed a hand atop of Panty's and stroked it. At this point, tears were streaming from Panty's eyes. Bra gave a small smile as a black tear rolled down her check. She coughed up more ooze.
"It's….o….k…..we….w-w-won." Bra croaked. Her hand on Panty's fell limp, and her eyes shut. Her smile, however, remained.
Panty sobbed out loud and slowly let Bra's head down on the cushioned seat. The angel got out of See-Through and stood a few feet away. She held her face in her hands and cried loudly. Brief was also crying, he looked over to Boxer, Socks, and Stocking. They hung their heads and stared at the ground. The Geek approached Panty. He stood beside her crying form for a few seconds before wrapping his arms around her in a comforting hug.
Panty stopped crying the second she felt his embrace and stiffened up a bit. Brief felt her doing so and assumed she was just about to push to the ground and begin stomping on his crouch. But he as wrong, Panty slowly returned the hug and cried into his shoulder. They both suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around them, it was Boxer. Stocking and Socks were also quick to join the group hug.
….
"Where's Jockstrap and Crewsocks?" Scanty asked her sister.
"You're standing in Jockstrap and Crewsocks is over there." Kneesocks said, pointing to the black puddle her sister was standing in and then to the puddle to the left of them.
"Eww." Scanty muttered before stepping out of the puddle and wiping her feet. She walked to the glass exit door. She saw the angels and Brief in their mourning embrace, tears in all of their eyes. Kneesocks stepped next to her.
"Should we go after them?" she asked. Scanty shook her head and turned back towards the elevator.
"No, can't you see we've already done enough."
NEXT WEEK: THE EPLIOUGE