Chapter 25
Amy walked to the front door of her mother's house, and before opening it, she put Nicholas on the floor. The little boy stood next to Amy, waiting for her to open the door.
"Who is it?" Amy asked, because the door had no peephole. Although at that time, Amy wouldn't admit it, she hoped it was Sheldon. Even when she was so mad at him, Amy wanted to see him. As much as she tried to deny it, she realized that being away from him was quite painful.
"Hi Amy, I'm Penny" Amy's bestie was standing behind the door.
"Penny?" Amy asked in surprise as she opened the door. "Hey Bestie! How did you know I was here? What are you doing here?"
"That's the same thing I'm asking you" said Penny. "What are you doing here? You don't even know how Sheldon's been feeling since you left. If you wanted to teach him a lesson, this was so rough. Let's go home!."
Amy's heart jumped inside her chest just by hearing Sheldon's name. She swallowed hard and looked at Nicholas. She took her son in her arms again, as if she wanted to hide herself from Penny's gaze.
"Well, I know how Sheldon's been feeling. He's been feeling mad at me. He yelled at me, we had a fight and he said he hated me." Amy breathed deeply, remembering how scared she felt when she saw Sheldon acting so mean. This time Amy tried to hold her tears. "Nicholas is probably traumatized for all the times he's seen me cry", Amy thought.
"You know Sheldon, sometimes he says things in a way that's not the most appropriate and he ends up saying things he doesn't want." Penny gently stroked Amy's arm. "I know he didn't mean what he said to you. He's upset because he thinks you'll never come back to him."
"Penny, I'd like to believe that, but... after what I saw ..." Amy recalled Sheldon's startling and terrifying look. "After what happened between us, I find it very hard to trust Sheldon." Amy slyly adjusted the sleeve of her cardigan so that Penny can't see the bruises Sheldon's fingers had left on her forearm, which still hurt when she moved it.
"Sheldon and you are scared by all that you've been through. You have suffered a lot in the last days. What happened to Nicky was hard for everyone, but I think this should bring you closer rather than separate you. You have each other to cope with anything." Penny opened her purse and looked for the stuffed koala and the book for Nicky. "Besides, Nicky's already feeling better. He's not coughing so much. Check this out Nick! Your daddy sent you this. "
When Amy saw the book and the toy that Sheldon sent to Nicky, she recalled that the little boy needed his koala bear and his bedtime story to sleep at night. In her haste to leave the apartment, Amy had forgotten it. Nicky approached Penny and took the book in his little hands, turning the pages as if reading.
"Dad! Daddy!" Nicholas walked around the room, holding the book and searching for Sheldon. "Daddy!"
"Where are you going Nicky?" Amy followed him closely. Nicholas was walking with fast steps and he almost reached the kitchen. When Amy caught him, she took him by the hand and together they returned to the living room.
Penny felt a lump in her throat seeing that Nicholas was, so eagerly looking for Sheldon. She had to do something to bring Sheldon and Amy together.
"Daddy?" That innocent question, in Nicholas' tender voice, caused and indescribable pain to Amy. "Daddy!" Nicholas puckered his lips, he was feeling uneasy when he realized that Sheldon wasn't in the house.
"I think Nicky hadn't noticed that Sheldon wasn't here... until now. I guess the book reminded him of his dad. Sheldon always reads him a bedtime story, and this book is one of his favorites. I'm sure Nicky thought Sheldon would read him the book and that's why he's looking for him." Amy's eyes had a watery gloss, and she avoided looking at Penny. "Aw, little monkey, it's too early to go to bed but I'll read you a story at night, okay?"
Penny shook her head, unable to stand such a touching moment.
"Amy, I know this is none of my business. You are an adult woman and you can make your own decisions but this is just ... STUPID! Sheldon loves you and wants to be with you. You love Sheldon and you want to be with him. Nicky and the baby should be with both of you. No need to be a scientist to understand it." Penny complained.
"That's… not so easy, Penny" Amy replied as she tried to distract Nicholas with his koala bear. "Nicky, Daddy is not here. But you and me could play for a while" she said. Nicky wasn't convinced with his mother's words and he was still looking for Sheldon.
The doorbell rang again and Amy got up in a single bound, this time it had to be Sheldon, she supposed. Amy ran to the door, leaving Nicholas with Penny in the room.
"Leonard?" Amy was disappointed when she didn't find Sheldon in front of her. "Come in, please" said Amy resignedly. Leonard immediately entered the house with several grocery bags. "Nicky, your Uncle Leonard is here, come and say hi."
"Hi Amy! Hi little buddy!" Leonard greeted them. He approached Penny and gave her a kiss on the lips. They shared a knowing look. Where can I put these?" he asked breathlessly; the grocery bags were really heavy.
"I guess… you can put them in the kitchen." Replied Amy. "But ... what's that?" She asked hesitantly.
"Your provisions, of course!" Leonard answered. "Someone who loves you, Nicky and your baby very much and wouldn't let you starve, asked me to bring you this." Obviously Sheldon was that… someone. "I think that's all you need."
Amy shook her head thinking that wasn't all she needed, actually.
"Thank you! But it really was not necessary. I'll get my bag and I'll pay you for the groceries." Amy said hastily.
"Amy, you don't need to pay me anything. Sheldon already paid for all these things, and he did it for you and the kids. He's worried about you." Leonard didn't let Amy give him money.
"Please bring this money to Sheldon and say thanks to him." Amy was so angry; she didn't want to reason with Leonard. "I… I can take care of my family." She sighed.
"Amy, I'm sure you can take care of your family, but you're not going shopping with Nicholas, because he's sick." Leonard tried to remain calm and used a neutral tone. "Sheldon just wanted to do something nice for you. Amy, Sheldon made a mistake ... but you're not being fair to him, either."
Amy was silent for a moment and inhaled deeply. After all, Leonard was not to blame for what had happened between Sheldon and her.
"All right!" Amy raised her hands, admitting defeat. "But I'm only doing this, for Nicholas and the baby. Sheldon doesn't need to do anything for me, anyway" Amy added.
Leonard rolled his eyes, apparently it was impossible to talk with Amy. Sheldon and Amy were so full of pride, and none of them was willing to take the first step to solve their problems.
After about an hour of unsuccessful conversation, which went through several attempts to convince Amy to go home; Leonard and Penny gave up. Obviously, their speech was not enough to solve this conflict. They've never imagined that Amy was so stubborn.
"Amy, please think about our talk" Penny said goodbye to Amy and Nicky with a hug. "I'll call you later. Tell me if you need help with Nicky."
"Amy, try to forgive Sheldon, please. Do it for Nicky!" Leonard whispered in Amy's ear when he said goodbye. He ruffled Nicky's hair affectionately.
Amy returned to the kitchen walking hand in hand with Nicholas and started organizing the groceries.
"Cheese, milk, vegetables, Sheldon's favorite orange juice… no pulp." Amy put the food in the refrigerator. "Cereal, bread, peanut butter. Sweetie, do you want a banana?" she asked Nicholas. The boy nodded happily and began to eat the fruit like a little monkey.
"Olives, mango ice cream and chamomile tea with ginger. My favorite!" Amy couldn't help but thinking that Sheldon was the only one who knew her craving for olives and ice cream. In fact, Amy put olives on everything, especially desserts.
Leonard didn't know that the chamomile and ginger tea was the only thing that helped her with morning sickness. Everything had been Sheldon's idea, Amy didn't have a doubt.
"Sheldon ... Why are you acting like this? A few hours ago you said you hate me, and now you send me all we need." Amy sighed. "If I only knew what's in your mind. Why is it so hard to be with you? Why is it so hard for us to be happy?" Amy filled the shelves with all the things that Sheldon sent them. "What am I doing wrong?" She asked herself.
Amy had to find some activity to free her mind from those negative thoughts, so she cleaned the house until it was as shiny as a mirror, she gave his medicines to Nicholas, she prepared lunch and dinner and while Nicky took a nap during the afternoon, Amy read several chapters of Oliver Twist, one of her favorite books as a child.
After dinner, Amy felt exhausted, and paradoxically that was a relief for her because she could probably achieve sleep soon. Amy dressed Nicky with his dinosaur print pajamas; she put on her light blue nightgown and lay next to her son. Amy was ready to read him a bedtime story.
"Daddy" Nicholas called Sheldon again when he saw that he wasn't in the bedroom. Nicholas felt anxious, as if he was scared of not being with his dad.
"Aw, don't be sad Nicky! We're going to see your daddy soon, and we'll be together as a family." Amy said reassuringly; however, she didn't know if that was true. "Come on Nicky, don't cry! If you start crying, the baby is going to be sad too." Amy pointed at her belly while saying this.
Although Nicky was still a little toddler, Amy and Sheldon had already told him that a baby lived in Amy's belly. Nicholas seemed to like the idea of having a brother or a sister.
"Baby!" Nicholas said at the time he rested his head on Amy's belly. She stroked Nicky's hair and read him a story. It didn't take long for Nicholas to fall asleep, with Amy's belly as a pillow.
For Amy, it was much more difficult to sleep. She was extremely depressed, she wanted to cry and she had a slight pain in her back and her lower abdomen. All the events and emotions of that day, started to take its toll.
"We'll be fine." Amy repeated to herself, trying to calm down. "We'll be fine and if Sheldon wanted to be with us, he would be here by now" Amy's tears kept running down her face as she turned off the bedside lamp and closed her eyes, attempting to get some rest.
Sheldon didn't know how many hours he'd spent, sitting in his spot of the couch and staring into nothingness. He didn't know how many times he told himself: "Jerk, jerk, jerk... Only a jerk like you would ruin the best he had in life. But you can't understand it because ... you're a jerk."
During the afternoon, Sheldon tried to stop those voices in his head, and looking for an activity to distract himself, he updated the operating system of his two laptops and a desktop computer that he never used. Sheldon also read and reread the article on the theory that got him the Nobel Prize nomination. He considered he could upgrade it, but he wasn't able to think of an idea to improve it.
Late at night, Sheldon realized he hadn't eaten lunch or dinner, but he had no appetite or courage to do so; he took a shower, brushed his teeth and went to bed. "Stupid, stupid, stupid" he kept repeating mentally.
Unable to fall asleep, Sheldon got up from the bed and stared at his cell phone for a few minutes. "Call her, tell her you're sorry." He told himself… but he didn't do it. He turned off the phone, but he couldn't turn off the voices in his head. "Stupid" he whispered.
"What choice did I have?" He asked aloud. "This situation brought out the worst in me. I became an animal. My reaction scared me too." Sheldon sat on the bed and ran his hand over the space to his left. Amy's space. "She deserves better and ... I think I'm not the one she needs."
Sheldon began to notice how tiny teardrops fell onto the sheets. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and… I'm like him. I'm just like my father." Sheldon started to cry desperately. He hugged the pillow that Amy always used. It still had the smell of her shampoo and that did nothing but deepen the sorrow he felt. Sheldon tried to stifle his screams of anger and vulnerability. "I can't do this" he whispered.
The three saddest days in the lives of Sheldon and Amy, went by slowly, in a lethargic transition of minutes and hours, following each other in a monotone pace.
Dawn and sunset, days and nights were still the same, with the difference that during those days and nights Amy and Nicky missed Sheldon, and he needed them with all his heart. It would have been so easy to forgive each other. That was what they wanted. Why was it so complicated?
Sheldon woke up in the morning at the usual hour, and continued his routines as far as he could. He missed kissing Amy every morning. He missed reading stories and playing with Nicholas. He missed hearing Amy's breathing as she slept beside him.
Sheldon asked Penny to tell him something about Amy and Nicky, every time he saw her.
Amy took a few days off from the lab so she could devote herself completely to take care of Nicky. Her attentions had given a satisfactory result because her son was recovering fast.
"Nicky, we're going out for a walk!" Amy announced as she got Nicky ready. She was about to take him to the doctor. Nicholas had an appointment for a check-up with the pediatrician. "It makes me so happy to see you're getting better. I got really scared when you are sick. If the doctor says it is okay, I'll ask Aunt Penny to take you to see your daddy. That's great! Isn't it?"
Amy wondered what Sheldon was doing at the time. Surely he was at Caltech, working on his projects and performing complex equations that would change the way we understand the world. "Sheldon continues with his normal life, his work and his schedules, now that he doesn't have any obstacles in his way", Amy thought aloud. "He wanted the life he had before, and now he has it".
"Knock, knock, knock, Dr. Siebert. Knock, knock, knock, Dr. Siebert. Knock, knock, knock, Dr. Siebert".
"Come on in, Dr. Cooper! We were waiting for you" the president of Caltech, replied politely.
"Good morning!" Sheldon greeted. "I didn't not know that you were also invited to this meeting." Sheldon uttered. He involuntarily frowned while seeing that Melissa Thompson was in Siebert's office. The blonde PR specialist which always seemed to lack fabric for her outfits, smiled uncomfortably.
"I'm glad to see you too" Melissa replied sarcastically. "I couldn't miss the opportunity to congratulate you on your decision. You're doing the best for your career."
"Yes, Dr. Cooper! Although we're surprised by your sudden change of mind, we wanted to thank you for reconsidering our offer." Dr. Siebert extended his hand to Sheldon, but he didn't respond to the handshake.
"When can we start?" Sheldon asked dryly.
"We can start tomorrow!" Melissa replied enthusiastically. "I have already planned your schedule for the conferences. You will be pleased to know that you'll give your first lecture at the University of Houston" Melissa was showing all her teeth in her artificial smile. "You come from Texas, right?"
Sheldon nodded without showing any emotion. "Is the contract ready?" Sheldon wanted to sign it and end this conversation as quickly as possible.
"Of course, it is ready! Here you have it!" Dr. Siebert handed Sheldon a copy of the contract and a pen.
Sheldon read the contract, four times, in just a few minutes. He was an extremely fast reader. He took the pen and stood motionless for a few seconds. He pursed his lips firmly and finally, he signed the contract.