A/N: Okay guys, I know this is a really short chapter but I wanted to give you something to hold you over as I am so busy with Nanowrimo and getting everything settled to attend my University of choice in the fall. I hope you guys like this, as it is a rather important part in the story. I'd go as far as to say pivotal! Let me know what you guys think and as always, thanks for reading!
This is something I know. This is something I'm good at. I sit with stony stillness as Cinna flits around me, pinning my hair in just the right way, adding just the right amount of shadow to my eyelids. He has chosen a yellow sundress for me to wear tonight, and though I can't help but chortle at how immature it looks I also understand what he is doing. His plan is a simple one. In this first propaganda video we are shooting today he will make me look as young an innocent as possible. The video will only be a few moments long, but it will rock all of Panem. We are shooting Peeta and I's "reunion". All of Panem, the Capitol included, will watch as Peeta and I throw our arms around each other and embrace in the joy of our "first" meeting. Perhaps I'll cry, I haven't decided yet.
With a small grin Cinna dusts a small amount of shimmering powder on my cheeks and nose before helping me out of my chair, looking very self-satisfied as he wraps one of my curls around his fingers. "Very fetching." He says as he tucks the wayward strand back into place. "You look sixteen again." I roll my eyes.
"Over the years they have all seen me in dresses you would never put on a sixteen year old." I say, but Cinna simply shakes his head.
"Today they won't see you as an adult." He says as he kisses my forehead, causing my heart to skip a single beat. "They will see you as the child you were before…" As if remember everything Cinna's eyes harden and he steps back, clearing his throat. Still, there is a small smile on his lips and I know what he is thinking, or more like what he is trying not to think. Since our kiss he has acted almost as he had before we came to District Thirteen, not completely the same but close. He thinks I am his once more, and I don't have the heart to tell him that I do not belong to anyone any more. Even as I think it I know it's a lie.
"I know." I say as I stare down at my sandals. "I know." I repeat, trying to convince myself. We've already practiced what we will do a million times, Peeta and I. I will cry his name and we will run to each other. When we meet in the middle he will lift me into his arms and spin me around. I'll whisper that I thought he was dead and he will hold me close and say he's been waiting for me, then the scene will end. Once we are done filming it Beetee and Wiress will work their magic and get the video onto the Capitol's emergency broadcasting channel. Every television in all of Panem will be playing our reunion. The clip will be over before President Snow even realizes it's happening. Though I try not to let it the pressure feels like a horrible weight on my shoulder.
Cinna places his fingers under my chin and tilts my face up, his smile easy. "Don't worry." He whispers, and I feel my nerves calming. "You'll be fantastic." I let out a soft sigh; I've done this a million times before. Maybe not in the exact same way but I've been before more cameras than I can count. It's nothing new. Still, I can't seem to stop my heart from hammering like a humming bird.
"They'll know I'm alive after this." I whisper. "They'll start attacking District Thirteen." Cinna hums softly.
"President Coin has been preparing for that for years." He runs his thumb over my cheek, as if he is smoothing my already perfect makeup. "When the Capitol forces get here they will not find a decrepit little hole in the ground hiding beneath the earth, but a fully armed force ready to fight back." He gives me one more once over before kissing my cheek. "It is time." With a groan I step away from my chair and make my way towards the door. When his hand catches mine I hesitate. "Don't worry Kat, I'll be there the entire time." He gives me a comforting grin, and I can't help but feel him succeed in his mission to relax me.
My small dressing room is fitted just outside the space where we will be filming the propo video, and I can't think of a more appropriate venue. Just outside of District Thirteen, in the picturesque setting of the forest, we will find each other once more. It is rather symbolic. The Capitol represents order and civility, so where better to film this video, our happy reunion, that in the wilderness? I wonder if Coin was thinking this very thing when she handpicked this spot. There is a soft hum of excitement in the air as people hurry about with their duties. Off to the side Beetee fiddles with a light on a long stand, brightening it and dimming it with simple tugs of wires. Cressida, a Capitol Director who defected to District Thirteen, sits with her team and makes the finishing touches on their big bug-looking cameras. I'm about to turn back to Cinna and make some kind of light-hearted comment when an airy voice distracts me.
"You're so young." I turn towards the voice, my eyes widen as I see, simultaneously, the most beautiful and the most devastating woman I've ever seen before. Her hair hangs in loose waves down to her waist, her coppery skin is dusted with freckles, and her eyes are as wide and green as the sea. Those beautiful eyes, however, have a lost look in them, a tragic look. Finnick wraps his arm around her waist as she goes to step closer to me, restraining her.
"Slowly, Annie." He whispers with such tenderness I almost mistake it as someone else's voice. "People like space."
"But she's so young." She says once more, her voice light and gentle. "On the television she looked so old, as old as us. She's a child." She reaches out a hand slowly to touch my hair, but she stops. She leaves her hand hovering in the air for a while before Finnick lowers it slowly for her. "Katniss." She rolls my name over her tongue, as if she is tasting it. "You help Finnick. You help him every year. He likes you." I narrow my eyes as I try to think of an appropriate response. Before I can respond, however, the girl rushes forward and throws her arms around me, her lips so close to my ear I can hear her breathe. "Thank you for keeping Fin safe." She whispers before pulling away and returning to Finnick's side, clinging to his arm and looking into the distance as if it had never happened. For a moment I expect Finnick to blush with embarrassment and apologize for her outburst but he simply wraps his arm around her instead and leads her away, so enchanted by her that it is as if he has forgotten I'm standing here at all. For a while I just stare after the odd couple, the Heart Throb of Panem and the Mad Victor of District Four. A small smirk touches my lips, perhaps it isn't nearly as strange as some believe it is.
"Attention everyone!" Messalla says in a loud voice, calling everyone's attention to him. "We want to get this thing filmed in one shot while the lighting is just right, so if everyone could take their spots…" Without further prompting I move to the spot that was dictated as mine, smoothing the folds of my dress and tucking my curls into their appropriate places as my eyes catch Peeta, who is also taking his place across from me. Our eyes meet for a moment, and I feel ease flow through my veins. There is no reason to be nervous, I've hugged Peeta before. I've cried before. What should make this so difficult?
"And… Action." Cressida calls as all the Cameras are fixed on me. Taking only a moment to draw breath into my lungs I transform my face to one of disbelief and joy.
"Peeta!" I cry in a heartbreaking voice, and without hesitation he takes off in my direction, his arms pumping at his sides as he dodges trees and brush.
"Katniss!" The excitement in his voice starts me running, and though I know this isn't real I feel my heart thump in my chest. Without reservation I rush towards him, ignoring the dress and the way my sandals make it hard to run. All I can think of is reaching Peeta, everything else melts away. When we finally reach our middle-ground destination Peeta opens his arms and I jump into them. I let out a loud relieved laugh as he spins me around, his arms strong around me. After two full turns he slowly lowers me to the ground, his eyes transfixed on mine. There is so much within them; love, and desire, and a passion so fierce I lose myself in it.
"I thought you were dead." I choke out as I touch his face, and Peeta covers my hand in his. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it gently, his eyes closed.
"I've been waiting for you." He whispers just loud enough for the camera to hear, he opens his eyes once more and I feel I cannot contain the emotions those eyes create in me. Tears spill down my cheeks of their own accord, and Peeta reaches to brush them away. With my face cupped in his hands he pauses for a moment, his breath hitching. "I've been waiting for you." He repeats even softer before closing the distance between us.
His lips touch mine and suddenly everything is on fire.
My body trembles as I grab his forearms, clinging to him as his lips move against mine. Color erupts behind my closed eyelids as everything within me wakes, every piece of me that I had hidden away and forgotten all these years. Happiness, pure, true happiness, the first real happiness I've felt in years, pours through me as I melt into him. Everything is real, and alive, and beautiful, and I can't help but grin against his lips. He pulls me closer, holding me possessively and I return his fierce embrace as a realization hits me. I can't lose him, not again, I wouldn't be able to stand it. It's him, it's always been him. Nothing else matters, nothing else even compares to this rapture that washes over me. Every ounce of despair that had plagued me washes away as Peeta pulls away slowly, his bright blue eyes find mine in that heaven between the trees. He touches my face gently and the smile on his faces makes my heart soar.
"You'll never have to wait again." I whisper, pressing my nose and forehead to his. It isn't until someone stars clapping that Peeta and I remember that we are being filmed. With a start we pull apart, though our arms remain entangled. Cressida steps forward, handing her camera over to her assistant.
"That was perfect you two." There are tears in her eyes, real tears. "That's… that's a wrap everyone." In silence everyone begins packing their equipment, and as I turn back towards Peeta I see him. Cinna's face, usually so closed off and reserved, is full of despair. The look in his eyes causes a physical pain in my chest, as if I can feel his heart breaking within me.
"C'mon Katniss. Let's get inside before all the snacks are gone." Peeta chuckles, seeing neither Cinna's face nor mine as he grabs me hand and pulls me back towards District Thirteen. Though I follow him I cannot break my eyes away from Cinna's. The green eyes that are usually so full of life are now black holes threatening to pull me in. And for a moment, just a moment, I swear I see tears on his cheeks and the word 'no' on his lips.