Starfire stretched out languidly on the couch watching Cyborgfire and Beast Fire play on the Console of Copyright Issues and Robinfire was cheering on Cyborgfire. Ravenfire sat on the very edge of the couch for some reason, reading.
Suddenly, Ravenfire slammed her antique book closed, turning it to a pile of dust in her lap. She didn't seem to notice. "Okay, who's bright idea was it to make us all siblings? And for that matter, Starfire's siblings?"
Robinfire didn't answer. Instead, he went about erasing the 'apostrophe s' from Ravenfire's word balloon and replacing it with 'se'.
Cyborgfire shrugged nonchalantly. "Dunno, y'all. I guess we retained the way we talk, not to mention our backgrounds, and I'm the only one who's not out a love interest, so it doesn't really matter to me. Y'all."
Starfire sulked. "I am no longer able to have teh smex with Robinfire because the brother-sister incest is the creepy and would get the flames from the readers. I mean, illegal. Probably." It was unclear whether probably referred to whether brother-sister incest was illegal or if it referred to what Starfire actually meant to say.
Ravenfire did a Picard facepalm and pulled Robinfire by the collar so that he could the rage and hatred burning deep within her soul through her eyes. "Fix this. Now," she growled in a way that would have Arnold Schwarzenegger himself trembling like Dr. Light.
Robinfire appeared unphazed. "Sure. One question – Larry or obscene wealth?"
Ravenfire massaged her temple. "Let's try not to drag any more superfluous wastes of animation into this."
"Larry it is." Robinfire skipped away… somewhere.
"Not what I meant…" Ravenfire muttered, her hand over her eyes. "Just because the money in Kaichou wa Maid-sama is CGI doesn't mean it is here. We can only hope that The Author wouldn't allow it."
Just then, a flash of purple appeared next to Ravenfire, accompanied by a loud bang and hundreds of CG dollar bills floated down from the ceiling. "HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY! Miss me?"
"Not particularly," she deadpanned, emptying her hood of the counterfeit money.
The Author pouted. "That's not very nice, Ravenfire. I am the one who writes you, remember?" she threatened.
"I'll still exist in the show, fanart, and not to mention thousands upon thousands of fanfics. Unfortunately."
"But in THIS CONTINUITY you won't exist! Isn't that devastating? ISN'T IT?"
"Not quite."
"IT SHOULD BE!" The Author screamed, then composed herself. "Fine. That just means I'll have to take care of a… few things. I shall see you later, creatures of my bidding. Mwa hahahahah! Ahem."
And with another puff of purple smoke and another loud bang, The Author was gone, leaving a huge mess of fake, illegal money everywhere.
"And there goes my sanity," Ravenfire said, getting ready to meditate.
Larryfire appeared via giant pimple on Robinfire's face. "Hi everybody!" he said in a REALLY prepubescent voice. He seemed to not really notice Starfire as much anymore. "Did you guys forgive me for breaking reality last time?"
"NO," they all chorused, Robinfire in particular louder than the rest. "Don't even remind me. The fans were relentless asking where the hell was it I'd gone for that five seconds of screentime."
Larryfire gave a familiar "Oops." Then he shrugged. "I'm under contract to help you with whatever you need this time. What's going on?"
"If you haven't noticed, we're all related," Ravenfire commented dryly.
"Oh yeah. So that's why I don't feel all weird when Starfire's around. Well, anyway, I'm afraid only The Author can help you out of this one."
"DUUUDE! NOT FAIR! For… some reason," Beast Fire said, trying to figure out what was so bad about all being siblings.
"Nothing I can do!" Larryfire said cheerfully, and Disapperated.
"Why didn't he do that before?" Robinfire muttered sulkily. "I'll have a headache for weeks."
"Quit complaining, Bitchy McBitchpants. Fire. We'll just have to summon… HER."
"HER?"
"The Author," Ravenfire replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, never mind."
"Who are you, anyway?" she asked.
"YOU WILL NEVER KNOW."
"Whatever."
There was another flash, this time green smoke and counterfeit pesos came raining down on the Titans. This hurt much more because the particular pesos that came down were coins.
"Will you put things back the way they were?" Ravenfire asked crossly.
The Author sighed. "Very well. But! For a price."
"What do you want?"
"Unlimited power over you five!" She cackled with evil laughter as a thunderclap sounded and a bolt of lightning flashed behind her.
"Not that I like reminding myself of this, but you already do control us," Ravenfire pointed out.
"Oh yeah… um, how about just an AU chapter?"
"OH GOD NO." Lightbulbs exploded behind Ravenfire.
"It's either that or stay related," The Author said deviously and slyly and wonderfully, examining her nails.
"Hmph. Fine. But ONLY ONE. And it has to be short."
"Deal." There was a poof of blue smoke and The Author was gone.
Raven looked around. "Is there even any difference?"
Robin looked up at the narration. "LOOK! We're back to normal!"
"It would seem so. Alrighty. Now that we just wasted an entire chapter on this, I think we should eat something. But nothing tofu. Or pizza. How about Chinese food?" Raven asked. "I think that's different."
Robin shrugged. "Whatever. We're gonna be spending a lot of time in the cafeteria next chapter anyway."
Raven double facepalmed.