Chapter 25: Hallucinations

He was trying to be brave but the truth was, he was terrified. Never before had he ever felt so small, so vulnerable. After spending millennia parading around the galaxy, he appeared as though his existence was about to end in a small box of a space craft manufactured by a species of far less intelligence. It wasn't exactly a way he wanted his people to remember him by.

Q looked down at the young woman in his arms. Her breathing was erratic and pulse was racing. She was already dying and instead of delivering her to safety as he had planned, he was about to join her. It was amazing how he seemed to corrupt those whom he touched – first Kathy, now Adele.

Glancing up out of the viewport, Q could see the large Devlin warship charging at them. He knew it was only seconds away from blowing them apart. There was simply no way out. He had to accept it.

In the following few moments, Q found himself thinking about his son. He'd only recently separated with his mother who had disowned the child for his reckless behaviour. It bothered him immensely. After his death, Junior would have no one. Neither would Kathy. After he died, there would be nobody there to try and stop the Continuum from taking his unborn daughter from her mother.

He once again looked down at Adele. Her dark blood was starting to stain her already dirty clothes but despite her injuries, her eyes were beginning to twitch. She was regaining consciousness.

Q gulped. He didn't want her to wake up now, not when she was only moments away from her death.

He subconsciously started to rock her back and forth. He hoped it would be enough to stop her from coming around. They only had seconds left. She didn't deserve to wake up and then have it all taken away again.

=/\=

Captain Janeway awoke quite early, too early. It should have been against Starfleet protocol for her to be awake considering how tired she was. However, it seemed as though her daughter wasn't going to make it easy for her. If her movements that morning were any indication, she was going to grow up and be a keen dancer

Once her heavy eyes had adjusted to the darkened room, the Captain could vaguely make out shapes of everything around her. Quietly, she smiled at the memory. It was a common game she and her sister used to play as children in the early hours before it was acceptable to get up.

Chakotay's soft snores made her become aware of how close he was to her. She didn't want to wake him as she slowly pushed herself up and out of bed. Soon, she made her way into the living area and chose to sink down into the sofa furthest away from the bedroom. It was one of the problems of no longer having her quarters to herself – she had to take into account his needs and keep quiet so she didn't force him to also be awake at that time of morning.

In the darkness of the room, the Captain soon became transfixed on watching the stars seemingly fly past her viewport. It had always been a rather mesmerising sight to her, one of the many joys of space travel.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard the noise in their quarters change. As well as the soft hum her ship always made, she heard a moan too. Chakotay. She clearly hadn't been as careful at not waking him as she'd hoped.

Sighing deeply, she waited for his inevitable appearance at the doorway, her hand subconsciously beginning to stroke her bump. For a moment, her thoughts drifted. In her mind's eye, she saw a child, a small child no bigger than two. With dark, near enough black hair and a beaming smile, there was no doubt. It was her daughter, or at least how she pictured her daughter.

Her breath caught, the thought painful. She would never see her daughter, never see her at the age she pictured in her mind. Q had made it clear. Her little girl would grow up in the Continuum and learn how to become arrogant and egotistical like every other Q in the universe. She probably wouldn't even know who she was and that hurt more than it did when she stranded her ship in the Delta Quadrant all those years ago.

"Kathryn?"

She heard Chakotay's voice call her softly and as she lifted her head, she saw him pop his head through the doorway. Even though she couldn't see his face, she could sense his frown.

"It's 0300. Is everything okay?"

She watched his outline slowly approach her and she nodded softly. Although, she doubted he could see that.

"Computer, lights." he ordered quietly, "50% of normal."

The sudden light made them both moan momentarily but once Chakotay had rubbed his eyes and allowed them to adjust; he slowly came over and sat down. He could tell by the way she was sitting that she was in a bit of discomfort however; he also knew there was absolutely nothing he could do to help. That was the problem with pregnancy.

He sighed silently and weakly smiled at her, something she returned before entwining her fingers between his. Without speaking, the Captain scooted over and rested her head on his shoulder. She wasn't really too sure what she'd done to deserve him but whatever it was, she promised herself she'd keep doing it.

=/\=

He froze again, the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention. He daren't look around again. He might have seen something he didn't want to.

With a rough, weak sigh, Lieutenant Tom Paris gulped a dry knot of air down his throat and looked back over his shoulder. Again, like he had seen many times that morning, there was nothing there. It was just an empty living area. Shuddering, he rolled back his shoulders. He just couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched.

Shaking his head, the uneasy Lieutenant entered the bathroom in his quarters and made his way over to the sink. The noise of it filling it up with tepid water made him tremble because he knew it could disguise the noise of anything that might have been moving behind him. For all he knew, he could have been surrounded.

The water shut off and he sunk his hands into it, sighing deeply as the heat started to travel up his arms. The feeling was rather incredible, and needed. He couldn't explain why. Shaking his head roughly, Tom looked towards the reflection in the mirror. He looked like hell.

He scratched harshly at the side of his neck. "Burning the midnight oil, my friend?"

Laughing gruffly, Tom looked down at the water before proceeding to wash his face. He really needed to catch up on sleep.

Yes. Don't you remember?

Tom flinched suddenly, immediately on guard. He hadn't expected anyone to reply – he was alone. Wasn't he?

His head snapped up and he quickly looked towards his reflection. It was nothing out of the ordinary. All he saw in the glass was the same man he had before, a tired Starfleet officer with definite bags under his eyes and messy hair.

He near enough scrutinised his reflection, his tired brain actually expecting it to stop mirroring his every movement. It didn't. Perhaps the voice had come from somewhere else instead. Turning on the spot, he looked around his empty bathroom and even took a few steps towards the doorway.

"Who's there?" he asked.

He made his way to the doorframe and looked upon his empty quarters. Part of him expected someone to pop out of somewhere and laugh in his face but nobody did. It was easy to see – he was alone.

Rolling his eyes and sighing, he turned back and headed over to the sink. It hadn't been clear before, it was now. He really needed to catch up on some sleep.

It was the sound of his door chime a few moments later which made him jump. He stared towards the door for a few moments in the deafening silence before slowly exiting the bathroom. In all that time, he never took his eyes off the door.

"Come in."

Despite his order, the door didn't open. It made him frown.

Slowly, Tom walked over to the door and manually opened it with the control pad. It was clear to see, no-one was there. He even stuck his head out to check and saw only an empty corridor.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

Ridiculously confused, he took a step outside of his quarters and turned to visually examine the door itself and the inside of his quarters at a glance. He knew for a fact the door had chimed. It had to be someone's idea of playing a practical joke.

"Tom?"

He jumped, swiftly turning around to see Harry. Within seconds, he noticeably relaxed.

"Harry?" he asked in a state of disbelief before managing to nod slowly and smile, "It was you, wasn't it?"

The younger man frowned. "What was me?"

"Don't play stupid with me, you're not good at it."

Tom laughed to himself, concerning his friend in the process.

"I've just come from Cargo Bay 2." Harry explained, "Are you alright?"

Tom nodded with a large grin firmly plastered on his face.

"I am now." he replied, "You know, you really had me going for a moment."

Utterly confused but concerned nonetheless, Harry followed Tom inside his quarters.

"Tom, what's wrong with you?" he asked, watching from the living area as his friend disappeared into his bedroom.

"Enough now, Harry. It's not funny anymore."

Harry found himself completely baffled at that point. He wasn't making any sense.

"What's not funny anymore?" his frown was deep, "Tom!"

=/\=

The Bridge that morning was fairly normal. Everyone was going about their normal business, all except the Captain. Every time she attempted to read another report from the rather large, and growing, pile stacked at her side, her daughter decided it was time for another dance recital.

Sighing deeply, the Captain let the PADD fall into her lab while she momentarily closed her eyes and let her head fall back. For some reason, she hoped resting her head on the back of her chair would block out the discomfort she was feeling.

It didn't take long from the Commander to notice and he found himself smiling weakly.

"Must be one hell of a show." he commented.

The Captain turned her head slowly and met his eye.

"It certainly is." she laughed, only loud enough for the pair of them to hear.

Chakotay nodded softly. "Only four more months." he reminded her lightly.

As the Commander continued tapping away on the console between their chairs, the Captain found herself turning her head away from him, his words stinging sharply. It was only when her breath caught that Chakotay looked up and realised just how painful that simple comment would have been to her.

"Sorry." he apologised softly, meeting and gripping her hand.

She shook her head and smiled weakly, gripping his hand in return.

"It's not your fault."

=/\=

Q couldn't believe his luck. The escape pod had definitely been hit with a disrupter yet it was still intact. Perhaps human engineering wasn't as primitive as he originally thought. However, while the pod was still in one piece, the same couldn't be said about Adele. She'd managed to survive on her own for days but was now fighting for her life all because he'd turned up and tried to play hero.

Q looked up and out of the pad's viewport. He could still see the warship, however, now it was in pieces. He wasn't sure why. He'd completely missed what had happened to it because of some out-dated human reflex to duck from the torpedoes.

Suddenly, the half-functioning console before him started to sound, but he hadn't got a clue what that meant. Quickly examined the technology, Q let the information in his brain recall how it worked which allowed him to tap in a series of buttons. Instantly, the partially operational viewscreen activated and displayed the face of a single alien.

"Who are you?" Q asked immediately.

The alien's brow fell tightly, concerned as to why a man he had never seen before had answered the hail to who he believed would have been Voyager's Ensign Hopson.

"Commander Heblin. Who the hell are you and where's Ensign Hopson?"

"I'm Q. Where are you transmitting from?"

"You're a Q?" Heblin asked in a state of minor shock, "No wonder the suppression field was activated!"

"Yeah, yeah!" moaned Q, "Where are you, stone-face?"

Commander Heblin automatically rolled his eyes. "Real original. Like I haven't heard that before."

Q could feel his resolve snapping. "Where are you?!"

"Look to your right."

Q looked to his right, confused as all he saw was a number of broken consoles and debris. Commander Heblin, who could see him through the comm. channel, once again rolled his eyes.

"Out the window, genius!"

Q looked up further and found his eyes widening when they saw a huge Devlin warship parallel to the pod, especially when he saw the markings on the hull.

"Second in Command?" he blurted out, "Is it genuine or did you steal it?"

"It's genuine." the Commander croaked, "Now answer my question. Where's Ensign Hopson?"

Q sighed, looking down at the young woman he was cradling.

"Commander Stone-man," Q looked up and met his eye across the comm. channel, "I take it your genuine Second-in-Command ship has medical facilities, or the ability to deactivate your pathetic suppression field so I can heal her injuries?"

Commander Heblin's eyes widened. "You've come to help her?"

"Yes." replied Q, sighing and putting his one hand up a little, "And I apologise for what my son did to your Military last month. It won't happen again. Now, can we get her some help?"

The Commander nodded, beginning to tap away at the console before him.

"I'll transport you over. Heblin out."

=/\=

As Lt. Paris continued to stare at the console before him, he started to see bizarre shapes appear in the corner of his eyes, shapes which always disappeared as soon as he turned to see what they were. He would have been infuriated if he hadn't started to worry about himself. Something definitely wasn't right.

The Captain and Commander had noticed that he seemed more on edge than usual. In fact, the majority of the Bridge crew had. However, they had all put it down to fatigue, especially as the Lieutenant had been hosting a poker tournament until well after 0200 hours that morning.

"Lieutenant Paris."

The Captain requested made the Lieutenant noticeably jump. She'd have been lying if she said she wasn't concerned but she decided it best to continue.

"What's our present heading?"

The Lieutenant sighed deeply before looking over the readings on his console. For the first time in his life, he was actually struggling to decipher them.

"469, no… 498 mark 29 by 467."

The Captain briefly met the Commander's eye. They both were equally reaching the point of no return in regards to his behaviour. He really wasn't himself.

"Are you alright, Lieutenant?" the Commander asked the helmsman.

"Yes. Yes, sir." he answered sharply.

Commander Chakotay turned to the Captain again. It was clear he wasn't, no matter what he said. The Captain sighed to herself before looking back down at the shaky Conn. Officer. He wasn't the same Tom Paris she'd seen the day before.

You're a liar, Thomas. Pathetic.

Tom gulped, trying to steady his hands. He now knew the voice he'd heard earlier in his quarters had been in his head – it had been sneering at him all morning since he'd got to the Bridge. He didn't like it. It was scaring him. Hearing voices was never a good sign.

Such a disappointment. Such a failure.

Tom wanted to scream but then he'd have blown it. Then they'd all have known there was something seriously wrong. He needed to get out of there. He needed to get away.

Rising sharply to his feet, he turned to look up towards the Command Team.

"Captain, permission to go to my quarters?"

The Captain frowned softly. "Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"

She already knew the answer, of course there was. However, she doubted he'd tell her that.

"I, um…" he tried to explain, "I'm not feeling very well."

Chakotay shared a quick look with the Captain before he looked back at him.

"Maybe you should go to Sickbay." he suggested.

Lt. Paris shook his head. "No, sir." he silently begged, "I'd just like to go to my quarters..." he turned to look at the Captain, "With your permission, Captain."

With a weak smile, she nodded softly. "Granted, Lieutenant."

Thanking her with a soft nod, Tom near enough sprinted to the turbolift, desperate to get out of view of his colleagues. He would have sworn he was losing his mind.

Once inside the turbolift, he felt his already trembling body collapse against the wall.

"Pathetic, Thomas! You're a failure as a Starfleet Officer, just like I knew you always would be."

Tom's fisted started to clench as he stood there, despite the fact his concern was rising. He knew that voice far too well.

"You're pathetic, weak, useless!"

Slamming his hands against the wall, Tom felt himself near enough explode.

"Shut up!" he screamed, clawing his fingers against his scalp, "Shut up and get out of my head!"

Racing down the corridor as soon as the doors of the turbolift opened, the Lieutenant reached his quarters in record time. He couldn't lie, he was scared out of his mind. With a sizable gasp, he collapsed onto his knees at the side of his bed, his body quivering uncontrollably.

"Did you honestly believe you'd escape me, even out here?"

Tom gulped, slowly turning his head. The voice somehow seemed different, clearer, louder. His eyes widened and his heart hammered against his ribcage when his saw the man the voice belonged to stood over him. It should have been impossible.

"How… how can you be real?" he felt his lips mutter, "You can't be… you're not real."

Sniggering, the man tightly gripped the collar of Tom's uniform, forcefully pulling up to his feet. A vicious smirk flashed across the man's lips before he literally threw the Lieutenant to the floor.

"I think you'll find I am… son."