We all waited for this, didn't we? And here it is finally! (drum rolls) L's POV! (dramatic fireworks) God, I am such a dork! It's so difficult to freeze into bitterness when L has already melted me into something sweeter everytime I think about him...and how his hot body looks when he does Capoeira...(stuck on the mental image)

Here you will encounter L's point of view on his relationship with Cheska dear, Naomi, Light and the late Telesco. A hint of LNaomi at some point. LLight friendship explored. I could only hope you will all have a good time reading this.

On a side note, I would just like to inform that Misa Amane appears somewhere from Chapter Thirty or so.

To the new reviewers, I extend my gratitude: micksgirl07, Too-Lazy-to-ever-review, SunMoonAndSpoon, inu-furuba freak, BleedingBlackRose9311 and XBloodMageRikaX

This chapter is dedicated to my writer-friend Aquarius Dragon. Just because we both agree L oozes with raw, original sex appeal and is far better good-looking, and possibly better in bed, than Light Yagami. Come on, anyone who isn't guilty of fantasizing of doing L can leave now. I'm sure everyone will stay so let us move on.

The big question is...should there be a FraLight? Well, there certainly is somehow. Just wait and see.

FraLighLawliet...hmmmm...

And just when I thought I lack imagination...

Catharsis means "emotional release" and considering L's personality, he definitely needs one.

XXX

Absence does for love what the wind does for flame:

It extinguishes the weak and feeds the strong.

XXX

Aspects of Catharsis

I thought at first that I was looking at big green eyes when I've first seen her face. Then when I've been successful in asking her to remove the layers of thick make-up and contact lens, I met a pair of big, round dark brown eyes that flicker when emotion passes them. She always had her hair down, curling and glossy. When she had pulled it up to reveal more of her face without the concealer and powder, I can see neither blemish nor perfection in her skin but it seems to glisten especially when she adds it with a touch of smile from her plain lips without the lipstick. It is the image I kept hidden in one of my frames of mind when I remember her. It is what I have learned to see and adore. When I had become intimate with her during our first meetings it was only for the sake of measuring her abilities. I thought it was almost surreal and that it wasn't anything else, but it really wasn't like anything else I have ever encountered because this time, I had loved.

I would shake myself a million times whenever I realize this, hoping I've gotten a little brain damaged. My mental state is perfectly sound though but it is that annoying thing in my chest that beats wild and free in those small, quiet moments we share talks of topics only she and I could comprehend. She eats my cakes with grace and approves of my reasons while I applaud her sentiments. Everything we speak about, everything we discuss, every little thing is always so vigor and exalting in form. She could understand very well and her understanding is flattering. She had been both withdrawn and personal. And when we kiss, when she looks up at me to tell me the things she could only be satisfied when I am giving it to her, I am ashamed that I could only be nothing short of a fool trying to win games.

I had loved her. I was a man of passions and sorrows with her and not just a processing unit of information I've believed myself to be for a very long time. It was a delicate emotion that I kept in check. I was nothing more than a human being when she pulled me close to her and whenever I tell her I love her, it crushes me inside because the feeling leaves me unutterably weak.

I was not sure but thinking about her now is a dismissive thought. I can't let it cloud my faculties especially not when I should be concentrating on the case and the rescue mission for her. I have to admit that I was nearly paralyzed when the news arrived and I was scared, scared like hell for the first time in my long years of crime detection. I can't protect and I failed her in many ways. I can't forgive myself somehow for still being apart from her. I am not a man easily swayed by the senses or whims but I always remember the slight fragrance of green apples when she is around me. I see the tinge of pink in her cheeks that she hides every time I compliment her. I get lost in the moist from the same eyes when she told me honestly how she doesn't want to be with me anymore. And the words that came out from my mouth that day...I wasn't really sure if they were right. But I hope I convinced her to stay because I sincerely am truthful when I say each day without her is a humdrum existence that begs to be silenced.

My Francesca is always trying her best to beautiful not just in appearance but also in her whole character. She gets to be extreme when she dresses up like a doll all the time. Her clothes are decent but always calling attention to any man that looks at her. She has her face made up and it is indeed attractive but I always knew there is something beneath that. When I've gotten the chance to see her face without the cosmetics, I was astounded on how young she really is. Eighteen: I met her when she was only seventeen. I wondered what led her to become this seductress in bars and clubs around Florida. No matter how expensive or elegant the dresses are, no matter the shade of eye shadow or lipstick, there was always something she knew she lacks and then she started to make up for it with her wit. Smart girl she always was and knows her way in twisting people's minds. But again it wasn't enough so she hooked up with an older man.

I had desired for her too and it was only for her physical voluptuousness and stinging mental power. It was nothing really serious. She humored me and I returned the favor. After a while, I was not particularly paying attention to the day, I have fallen in love with her, knocked from my boots you would say, head over heels and so forth. I also noticed that her vanity is shy. She likes me to refer her beauty and brains all the time but feels embarrass and guilty of it that she shrugs it off. Then at other times, she loathes being compared with the other girls, always wishing to be different and defined. I concluded that she is a clever girl with unusual insecurities. What made Francesca a beautiful girl were always her eyes. If you penetrate through the contact lens and mascara and eyeliner, you'd see that she is young and with a look of an uncertain young lady who wants to be mature. She wants excitement and tease but I really can tell she only wants companionship and approval.

She could never admit it to me because she expects me to already know it. So I was rather confused when she wants to break up. There was nothing wrong about being overwhelmed. I get to spend everyday with her wondering why it feels good and right to be with her. Maybe I was being insensitive but I just can't change the way I feel for her now in the last minute. I thought relationships were supposed to be patiently built by two people who respect each other. Whenever I hear people talk about relationships before, I used to think they are exaggerating about the problems and the emotions wrapped in them. Then when I introspected myself I know they were right. Love kicks you when you're already grounded and you just wanted to fly away. It's a corny perception but there you have it. Look at me, talking about love. I know some would prefer me choking on my doughnut.

Speaking of which, Nicoline pointed out to me that I was eating more since Francesca has disappeared. It wasn't anything to be worried about since females shared a higher level of percentage in eating disorders. I'm not doing it for the satisfaction of binging and purging. I am simply craving for sweets. Quillish has told me I have a fixed oral fixation and that was fine. I didn't exactly grow up in an average environment anyway. I needed sugar for mental processing. Come to think of it, maybe I just needed Francesca before I go mad.

Rubbish, I shouldn't think so much of it. The fact is I was simply disappointed of myself.

"You should eat something else, rice and meat maybe."

My line of thought was interrupted when I heard Light Yagami speak. I didn't glance at him. I know what I will be seeing. Handsome face, hazel brown eyes like his shade of hair. He would probably be half-frowning and amused. Teenagers like him are perceptive. He was also some sort of the perfect student, straight A's and father's a chief of police in the Kanto district of Japan. He also helped in two cases and solved it. A developing sleuth. Impressive résumé no matter how you look at it. I chose well when I chose him. Although he was in a rough patch after Mello's disregard of his skills since my gentle-minded successor has a streak of competitive drive in him all the time.

"I apologize if my habits distract you, Light-kun." Japanese courtesy is something I respect and his presence around my office is nearly comforting.

"Not at all, Ryuuzaki." He answered back with the same courteousness. He was outside of the intelligence and is only a recruit so I have asked the other members to address me in my new alias to prevent Light Yagami from acquiring my real identity until he is fully approved. And I think the name suits me. Don't you?

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Now that you have asked, I missed my breakfast." I looked at his earnest face.

"You should have said something at least."

"I know," He shifted on his seat, brown eyes piercing and steady. "I just don't want to disturb you."

"You do no such thing, Light-kun."

"My English is not that developed so if I accidentally choose the wrong set of words, I apologize. I could still do well in conversations. I'll be working on improving it too."

"I believe you are addressing Mello's reaction to your last conversation with him." I recalled. "Something he misunderstood when you just chose the wrong set of words."

Light let out a chuckle. He kept our gazes steady. "Well, I seem to always burst his bubble."

"Mello doesn't like change especially if it does not favor him."

"You seem fond of him," Sarcasm, maybe? No, just a statement.

"I am fond of him," I held the saucer up as I sipped on my coffee. I said nothing more.

"Naomi-san is pretty nice." Light remarked. "She was very withdrawn and professional but easily approachable. I think I could work my way with our partnership. Why did you choose to pair me up with her, Ryuuzaki."

I placed my cup of coffee back to the table and gripped my knees with my fingers. I was not looking at him anymore. "I have esteemed Naomi's intelligence highly in many occasions and she is very aware of that. She had worked for me for almost three years now and I trust her."

I paused. "I trust her with my life."

I saw him blink. Then a small smile crept on his firm lips.

"Are there any questions you want me to answer before I hand you your first mission?"

Light was silent for a second then he rested his chin on his hand with his elbow on the desk, bending himself a little. He looked at me warily. "I know it is really none of my business, Ryuuzaki, but..." he paused hesitantly and then, "They talk about this agent working for you who went disappearing. Where you two—intimate?"

"Interesting choice of words," I eyed him. "Light-kun, you are becoming accustomed now to our code of 'trust is bullshit' pioneered by the lovely Agent Kroiger. Tell me, are you becoming uncomfortable with that?"

Light laughed at my response. "No, no, gomen ne, Ryuuzaki. I said it was none of my business."

"That may be but you're still thinking about it."

He frowned. "Oh?"

I nibbled on my thumb and posed some disinterest in the matter. "For the time being, you really should try to get along with the people around here. They're your colleagues and it will certainly delight Eva if you talk to her more often."

"Agent Jorgue is very pleasant although Mello doesn't approve my occasional visits with her." Light chuckled low and run a hand through his hair. I raised an eyebrow and looked off.

"How terrible," I said. "Eva is very dear to me."

When I thought about Nicoline, I feel somehow guilty. The weight of that guilt bears heavy in my mind. I tried not to show the abstraction of my thought to the young man but I could tell Light was already observing me in his graceful and methodical manner. I looked at him, met his eye and held his stare. He did the same thing, not giving anything as well. Then we both sighed.

"I'll see what I can do with Mello," I suggested. "He is of volatile nature. I think it is best that you get to his good side first, won't you agree?"

"Yes," the young lad smiled and pushed himself off the chair. "I shall go to the lounge now. Near has invited me for tea."

I tried not to smirk but failed. Light said, "He is more welcoming than your other successor."

"Perhaps you amuse him, Light-kun."

"Oh?"

He waited for me to say something more but I was paying my attention to what Near and the others hold promise for this rising agent.

oOOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You're driving yourself mad."

"I didn't hear you come in."

Naomi stood in front of my door, hand on the knob, gentle eyes remain lucid as she stared at me.

"Certain steps are being taken and we are closer to her than we might think," Naomi remained on her position. I barely glanced at her.

"All will be well then," I answered simply.

She said nothing as I hear her coming closer at last. Then she said, "I'm worried that if we don't find her soon enough, it will be too late for you."

"You speak in riddles."

"You know what I mean." I could tell Naomi would have smiled sympathetically. "She has this hold on you but you are losing grip on her."

"Still in riddles."

"You still know what I mean by all these talks."

I spun my chair around to meet her gaze. I looked away first. "Has Light Yagami settled in his place?"

"Quillish had been giving him instructions. He is working with Matt about the locations where they might be hiding her."

"Excellent," I replied.

Naomi peered into my face some more, her lips and skin pale from the blue lighting of my office. She was searching for something more livid in my own face but I know that she could never see more than she could expect. I don't easily let people read me. This is not one of those times I'll let her in.

"I've missed you, L." She said in a whisper.

"And I you."

"Really?" Naomi shook her head and smiled. "You don't have to mean any of it. I just wish you would confide in me."

"Must I?" I looked at the floor on her feet.

"It's been almost two months." Naomi said. "I know all of us hope that we will find her and she will come back but after these weeks, how sure are we that could still hope for the best with her?"

"I follow well," I answered. "But all will be solved in the right time."

"You were never the one to speak of slow pace. You like to see progress."

I placed my chin on my hand and sighed. "There is a great forty-five percent chance she might still be alive."

"And the remaining percentage?"

"That I will never be with her again."

Something in Naomi's eyes flashed a moment. Sadness. Pity. Whatever it was, I couldn't look at it for long. I stood up. Then I started to walk to the door, stopped and faced her. "Do you strike me as the unfeeling type?"

She chuckled at that. "You're not concern about what people think now, do you?"

"Maybe I should listen to more to what they have to say." I released a small smile myself. "Maybe I need to listen to you."

"You used to." Naomi crossed her arms. She waited.

"Sometimes, when I—when I sit here," I began. "All I could think about is my death."

She blinked but said nothing.

"I think about the case all the time, about Leonard most of all. He was a dear friend. Quillish cared about him a great deal too." I leaned against the wall and closed the door softly. I looked up at the ceiling. "A dark force is engulfing all of us, Naomi. I knew I could reach into it, grab its heart and stab it but something else prevents me. I know a lot will happen in the future that will cost all our lives and divide what we stand for. These thoughts make me sad."

I looked at her steadily. "And my death—it will come for me."

"But not in this lifetime." She said. "Not when you were close to what you should deserve in the first place."

"You mean..." I raised an eyebrow, "...love?"

"At the very least."

We looked at each other for a long moment. I said with all lack of concern, "You always loved me."

"No need to state the obvious." Naomi laughed and shook her head, her bangs moving in the same direction, her eyes a little watery.

"And Ray?"

She examined my face some more and said, "I don't share that part with you."

"I understand." I scratched my head. "Naomi, you know I have thought greatly about you."

"Because I stood by you?"

"Even when I never asked."

"And Francesca?"

The sudden mention of her name every now and then breaks me in a way I never thought would. "She...remains..."

Naomi looked off and breathed heavily.

"...everything to me."

"And she loves you."

"How?" I said gently. "How much does she still love me after all these? If she comes back and she sees me, will she ever feel the way she did before? Will she stay the same?"

"I don't know, we don't know that." Naomi was looking down at her shoes. I walked towards her.

With a stronger conviction that I have expected, I let go of this phrase. "I want to know how I feel and what this all means. I want to know if it's real. I want to know everything."

She looked back at me, eyes glistening with tears. "And you will. She will be back. I promise you, I promise you, L Lawliet with all my heart that I wouldn't let you fall apart."

I smiled and nodded, biting my thumb. "How thoughtful of you. Thank you. And I honestly mean that gratitude."

Naomi took me by the shoulders and showed me some more of her tears that this time I couldn't look away. "For now, I want you to believe."

"Believe?"

"In love itself."

"A corny adage."

"People need that faith. You need that faith. You need to believe."

"Of course I do." I closed my eyes. I tried to shut the buzzing sound in my ears. "I really want to."

She kissed my cheek and said good night. I watched her leave and I longed for her even more that I felt it throbbing wildly in my chest. There was a time I believed she was the one but that gaping hole was sooner filled by another woman and I have never been happier since it happened.

oOOoOoOoOoOoOo

Light Yagami and Mello are in this awful dance of childish superiority. Mello was as unruly as ever, the sweet child, and Light was engaging his moods. If they were not throwing sarcasm in front of everyone, they were trying to catch Nicoline's attention the longest. Light was truly interested in her friendship but Mello, with his temperament, held suspicions. I was becoming tiresome of the act but needless to say, it keeps me entertained. Near was, I know. He was always delighted to witness his dear Mello displeasured. Leixa shares the same sentiment and once in a while she jumps in the war and asks Matt to do the same. When the four of them do gather, Mello would offhandedly let go of words with implication in the context and Light would shield himself with that polite manner of his. It goes on and on until one day Near decided to step in.

"Suppose I have two donkeys, one is smaller than the other, which one will I sell?" was Near's opening statement. Nicoline and I just stared at him.

Light was sipping his coffee languidly and was the first one to answer the random and surprisingly stupid question (for Near's part.)

"I will sell the small one."

Mello, never going to stand to be the last one in anything, interjected. "I will sell the bigger one."

Near and Light gazed at him. Mello defiantly reasoned out. "The bigger one would give more money hence—"

"If money is taken to the consideration, you have a point," Light smiled at him. "However it would be of great loss if this big donkey merits not much commodity as hailed. In old times, it is often wise to sell a smaller animal and keep the big one to yourself."

Mello scoffed. "You are not making sense at all, Yagami. Money is of course important. With money comes reputation."

"It is not practical."

"Well, I sure as hell would do as I want with the damn donkey."

"I did not say the other donkey was a big one." Near said. "What I did say was the one donkey is smaller than the other. Why would you assume the other one is bigger? What if the other one is that of the normal size of the donkey?"

"That logic also crossed my mind," Light answered calmly.

Mello glared at the two of them, somehow debating who the bigger enemy is. "Why are we debating about jackasses anyway? This is bull."

Light shrugged off the discussion easily and started a conversation with Ray. Near was satisfied with the show and proceeded playing his choo-choo train instead.

These kinds of challenges went on for days again. I wasn't completely interested in any of it. I just wanted a little peace although their noise practically keeps me company. Naomi and I never talked again and I can no longer speak alone with Nicoline since it would be impolite to Mello and I certainly do not wish to associate myself with ill intent with my young boy. So I kept to myself and retire to bed early, only to formulate theories now and again in my room.

I check Telesco's journal twice already and I confirmed that it was authentic but some of its most important pages were gone missing. It bugged me. I reread them over and over but no new lead surfaced. Frustrated I threw it aside and picked up the document regarding Pablito Mendez's disappearance. I browsed through it and wondered if his cousin Salvador has something to do with it and if I find him, I might find a new clue. The case was even more aggravating than I thought it would be. I got the Soviet Union on my heels and three government agencies in Europe have been demanding me all sorts of political mumbo-jumbo that I wish not to divulge my thoughts with.

By whim, I take comfort in the sound of the beetle that's been living in my office for quite some time now. I didn't want to do anything with it. When I am alone, it somehow assures me that there might still be some hope for me and this dreadful mystery.

I shouldn't let it get through me. I would disgrace myself if I allowed it so.

I took off my clothes and decided to take a bath. It must have been weeks since I washed myself. Luckily nobody ever minds. That made me wonder somehow. I was never the type to be conscious of my personal grooming but a cold shower does help in stressful situations.

And I have to control my coffee. I might die of caffeine poisoning. A less noble death it is for a man of my standing.

oOOoOoOoOoOoOo

"You were faking it, L!" Matt was flushing hard as he accused me.

"I wasn't," I answered him dismissively. "You can't prove I was."

Matt narrowed his eyes and took off his goggles. "I knew you were up to something the moment you asked me to play this game."

"I wasn't faking it," I said with a tone to end the discussion.

Matt frowned but held his ground. "I knew you were faking it."

"What is?" Leixa called from the other side of the room. "An orgasm?"

"No, dammit! L used some kung-fu technique on my guy!"

"Why are you playing that game, Matt? You know you suck at that."

"Do not! I don't suck at any computer game!"

"This one is an exception!" Leixa added.

"Would you be supportive once, Lei? I am getting duped here by L himself."

"Ah, my little catalyst!" Leixa started giving him kisses on the face. Matt squirmed away.

"Quit it! I'm trying to—oh man! You did it again, L!"

"Did what?" I smiled at him innocently. He grunted and kept pressing on the keys. Leixa giggled and fondled his hair.

I spend the last two days with Matt, distracting myself after I sent Quillish to Nigeria. And then one night on early October, Mello came from the lounge breathlessly. In short breaths, he formed a sentence that got me back to reality.

"We—found—her."

"Oh mercy!" Nicoline covered her mouth.

"Francesca—" Mello paused and added with a full force of voice, "...is alive!"

Coming up next is Light's POV. I am becoming giddy. Maybe because I know that after Light, Francesca returns! And I am not forgetting your passed food association. To those who still wants to share theirs, you'll be most welcomed.

Uhm, would anybody want a list of the AFE soundtrack? Here, I shall give even though you haven't answered my question yet. This only shows what a scatterbrain I am.

4ever- The Veronicas (Official AFE song)

Contagious- Avril Lavigne (FraLawliet)

Red Light Fever- Liz Phair (LightMisa)

I like- Katy Rose (NicoMello)

Come pick me up-Ryan Adams (LeixaMatt)

I could get used to this- The Veronicas (NaoRay)

Halo- Bethany Joy Lenz (Francesca)

Breathing- Lifehouse (L)

Quicksand- Lilix (Nicoline)

I'm a believer- Smashmouth (Mello)

No good for me- The Corrs (Leixa)

Geek in the Pink- Jason Mraz (Matt) giggles

Foolish Heart- Nina (Naomi)

I'd do anything- Simple Plan (Ray)

Notice Me- Zeeta Bytes (NicoLawliet)

Secret- Maroon5 (FraNear)

Bonus: for the sequel "Ploys of Conundrum" yes there's a sequel!

Empty Apartment- Yellowcard (NearOC)