REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMUS,
(I LOVE SUGAR)
The most intelligent of us are usually the most misunderstood. The fact that I tend to be stupid on occasion is merely because I wouldn't want you mere mortals to feel like fools when compared to my magnificence.
What if I killed someone? Would you hate me then? (I'm just seeing how far you'd let me go. Because there'd have to be something that would make you never want to see me again) You do know all, I'll admit that. You always seem to know when I'm going to do something wrong… I call that the Minnie reflex. I think you're turning into her.
OLD PEOPLE DESERVE SEX TOO. Maybe not as much, and with lots of lotion, but they still deserve sex. Honestly. How do you think you're going to cope when you're their age?
You're no fun at times. Goo is fun. You need to lighten up and enjoy life- carpe diem!
Me and Prongs had to have that race! It was a matter of honour! He had insulted my Quidditch team. The Falcons rule all, baby. And it was worth getting the cold, if only to see Lily's face when James blew all that snot over her. I am always endearing. A big puppy, I am.
Oh, pretty please Mr Lupin… will you put your talented mouth to a better use? Please?
Innuendo is my lifeblood. Without it I am nothing.
I AM NOT TELLING HIM ANYTHING. HE LOVES SOMEONE ELSE. SO NER. I will just have to hang around you for the rest of my life. You can adopt kids that I can play with.
I can see our lives, spreading out into the distance. You'll find a nice bloke, settle down with him, and adopt kids. And he'll get jealous of me. Because, let's be honest, who wouldn't? I'm gorgeous. You'll be so in love with him that I'll be left by the side of the road… sniff… I'm in one of my abandoned moods, ignore me.
You're too nice a person. That's why you feel bad when I hate myself. You've got enough love for the whole world. And that's why you're not a whore. Because you did feel something for Porter, even if it was just friendship. Feeling nothing and then shagging someone is worse.
It's my fault the girls I go for are bad. They're the easy ones. Means less effort to get them into bed.
I want you to be happy more than anything. I shall dance for you to make you happy.
Yeah, I'm pissed off because he had sex. With another guy. I think that makes me more mad than anything… if it was with a girl, I'd accept it more. It's just annoying, more than anything. I put my guy on a pedestal, and found out he had feet of clay. I love him still. Can't do anything else. And no, the other guy didn't hurt him. I'm just being a bastard about it.
Ah, I've been angling for info about this for such a long time… so, you were on bottom? Argh, maybe I don't want to know. Or… by not having fucked someone, do you mean that you didn't have full proper sex? Just oral?
I'm donning my sacrificial robe, Remmie boy. I can just see Dumbledore as an old god… with Minerva his chief priestess. We throw James to them… and they shall force him to join with Evans in a strange mating ceremony. Actually, maybe it'd be better if it was me. About time Hogwarts got shook up.
You're willing to try the stockings? TRANSVESTITE! See! See!
I suppose RL is the smart one. PP whiny one. JP lovesick goofy one. SB pretty one.
What will Prong's spawn call me then? If not Uncle Siri? Pad? Coz Padfoot is too difficult for young lips.
Of course you're important, Moonchild (I shall call you this when I'm feeling fuzzy and nice- not that often). You are the enigmatic moon. I never know quite what you're going to do. You're multifaceted. And I love you for it. Make me a nickname. Make one. I want one. Now.
You know I can be a stubborn bastard. And I'm going to be. Not telling him. So there. Not unless you tell too.
I'll give you scalp massages. With my ohsotalented fingers… a lot of girls like my 'spirit fingers'. Nudge nudge. Oh yeah. Seriously though, tell me if you're getting a headache and I'll help.
My hair smells nice because of my shampoo. Very good stuff. It's got bamboo in it. I think.
Maybe you are a woman and you're just hiding it. I mean, I've never seen you naked. Seen James. Even seen Peter (I don't wish to repeat that experience). I hate Porter… just because. I just do. I'm allowed irrational prejudices. It's my Pureblood right, remember?
What was Snape doing in your dream then? Watching? You little exhibitionist, you.
Having sex is only smelly if you do it wrong. And I won't. After all, it's only sex. You don't need to think about it. I'll have sex and think about daffodils.
Look after me Moony. Make sure I don't turn the trees green. Oh, hang on…
If Wormtail had ended up in his clothes, it would have been pretty damn funny. You could've joined in with the laughing. But no, you've got a conscience. You know, that's one of your worst features. Let him get out of his own clothes. He shouldn't need us all the time.
Chocolate flavoured popcorn? Why… it might just work! You can do it though. I can't cook.
My mind invents everything. So, actually, I'm a genius because otherwise I wouldn't be able to imagine you being a genius. Oh, I'm so good. I should be a god.
I shall brush my teeth tonight and think of you.
My tongue is very nice. It's flexible. I find teeth are quite useful too when a tongue is involved. Adds a bit of spice.
That Ravenclaw? Um… yeah, she does have a gross tongue. I kinda… did her. When we got drunk, and I said I was going to the loo- that's where I was. Something upset me. I needed to get it out of my system. That was the only reason.
Hugs and kisses,
Siri
PS- No, Rem, I didn't want you to have sex with him. Why would you just go off and have sex with some random guy you met on holiday? You're the smart one, you're not supposed to do that. You should have just wanked. As for your mystery guy- I guess your wolf hearing does come in useful.
PPS- He sounds like a right ponce, painting. Well, obviously he's a ponce. But you know what I mean. I like the idea of you taking pics of us with you, it is sweet. But still… if you were here I'd tickle you and make you blush. You big girl.
PPPS- They could read my letters. I wouldn't put it past Mother. And if you kill them, you know they'll execute you. Don't you DARE. Or I shall poke. Muchly. Hehehe… I think you should finish the sentence. I need to know all about my little brother. ALL. And thanks, Rem. You should probably burn these letters.
PPPPS- I'll curse Porter if I want to. You can't stop me. Punch the guy you like. Make him hurt.
PPPPPS- (these are really getting ridiculous) Describe him to me. Your friend. Just describe them, if you won't tell me who they are.