Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer and no copyright infringement is in any way intended. All I own are my ideas.
Chapter 25 – Worry
EPOV
Walking into Bella's apartment tonight I felt more at ease than I have all day. When she got all self-conscious when I complemented her I felt my heart grow a little more. My girl knows how to cook. After dinner we sat down to watch a movie. I can't believe that I ended up falling asleep, but my girl just relaxes me.
When Bella asked me to stay the night I couldn't help but smile at how she suddenly got all shy. It appears that she wants to spend the night together just as bad as I do, but was hesitant to assume. I wanted to tell her just how glad I was that she had asked me to stay the night. If she only knew that in the short time we have been seeing one another I have slept better when I am with her than when we sleep apart. Bella has quickly become my safe haven and comfort. I just wish she understood how much she means to me and that I would do anything for her.
As we are getting ready for bed I think back to my conversation with Emmett earlier. Knowing that something went down when Bella was with Rose just makes me worry even more about her. I know my girl is strong but sometimes I wonder how much she can continue to take. God I would do anything to make all her pain go away.
When we got into bed I pulled my girl to me. She fit perfectly in the crook of my arm and I let out a sigh of relief when she snuggled into my side. Some men might be embarrassed to admit that they depend on their women, but I know that I have become a better man since I met Bella. We lay there holding one another for a little while as I tried to figure out how to bring up Bella's conversation with Rose. I want Bella to know that she can talk to me about anything. Finally, I decide to just bite the bullet and talk.
"Babe," I said into the quiet in case she had fallen asleep.
"Yeah," she replied.
"I had a drink with Emmett before I came over here tonight."
"Really, how is he?" Bella asked.
"Oh, he is pretty good." I swallowed before I continued. "Anyway, he mentioned that you got together with Rose yesterday afternoon. He also said that something happened and you left early. What happened babe?" I asked her.
The minute the question popped out of my mouth I felt Bella stiffen beside me. I started to rub up and down her side to let her know that whatever she had to say was okay, but even with the soothing gesture she only mildly relaxed beside me.
I could tell that she was thinking through what she wanted to say. The one thing that I have learned about Bella is that when the topic of conversation is one she isn't necessarily comfortable with she tends to analyze what she wants to say before she will say it. I continued to rub her side as she prepared to answer my question.
After about five minutes Bella took a deep breath. "It's really nothing," she tried to tell me.
I knew that more than likely that she was afraid to tell me exactly what happened so I decided to push her a little bit. "Were you not having a good time with Rose? Did she say something to upset you?"
Suddenly Bella turned over so that she was looking at me. She had a panicked look in her eyes. "Oh no. Rose didn't do anything wrong. I hope she doesn't think that." Bella said before she continued quietly. "I even screw that up. Stupid, stupid Bella."
I knew I wasn't meant to hear the last part and it broke my heart that whatever happened would cause her to think this way.
I sat up and put both of my hands on either side of her face to make her look at me. "Babe, you know you can tell me anything right."
Instead of saying anything back to me Bella just nodded. I took that as a sign to continue. "You didn't screw up and beautiful, believe me you aren't stupid."
At that Bella gasped and then blushed. Not wanting to give her too much time to over think things I continued, "Will you please tell me what happened?"
Bella looked back up at me and I could see the tears in her eyes. "It's stupid," she said.
"Why don't you tell me and then we will decide whether or not it's stupid."
She nodded and took a deep breath before she spoke. "Yesterday was such an emotional day. I was having a good time with Rose and then her phone rang. It was Alice. I don't know what they talked about but whatever was being said seemed to be upsetting Rose. Rose excused herself from the table to continue her conversation in private. I just sat there thinking how those two never seem to fight but here they were fighting and it seemingly had to do with me. I didn't want to be the reason for them to fight so I just decided to take myself out of the equation." Bella said before finally taking a breath.
I had to work hard to tamp down the anger that was starting to rise. I hated that my sister seemed to be continuously making Bella feel even worse about herself. I don't know what was said between her and Rose, but whatever it was had Bella feeling guilty for wanting to spend time with Rose.
"Babe, you did nothing wrong. I'm sure that whatever put a bee in Alice's bonnet had nothing to do with you." I told her hoping to make her feel better.
At that Bella rolled her eyes at the statement but she giggled, which made me smile. She seemed to be thinking about what I said for a few minutes.
"I get what you are trying to say. I guess I just hate that Rose spending time with me is causing problems between her and Alice. I know they have been best friends for a while and it hurts knowing that I am the reason that they fought. Just like it kills me to know that you would normally spend more time with Alice and Jasper than you have lately. I just feel like all I do is ruin the lives of those around me." Bella said as the tears started to stream down her face.
My heart broke for her, but at the same time I had to fight the anger that was rising at her thoughts. Sure Alice and I aren't as close right now as we used to be, but ultimately that has nothing to do with Bella and everything to do with Alice. I had to make her see that.
"Babe, you haven't ruined anything. You have to find the faith in yourself and believe that. You can't take responsibility for the actions of others. You need to concentrate on yourself and screw everyone else." I told her forcefully.
The minute the words left my mouth, I started to regret them. I could see Bella's lip start to quiver and I hated myself for making her feel even worse. I went to apologize but before I could get anything out Bella stopped me.
"You're right. I can only take responsibility for myself. Thank you for reminding me of that." Bella said quietly.
"Bella, I didn't mean it…" I started.
"No Edward you were right. Thank you for listening to me. I'm sorry for bothering you with all my nonsense. Now I know you must be exhausted so lets get some sleep since you have to work tomorrow," Bella said before giving me a kiss and turning back over.
Not wanting to make the situation even worse I decided to just let it be. Hopefully after a good night's sleep things will be better. I lay there trying to fall asleep. I could tell that Bella wasn't sleeping but I just continued to hold her until I finally fell into a restless sleep myself.
When I woke the next morning Bella was already up. I could smell the coffee so I threw on a pair of jeans and made my way to the kitchen hoping that maybe I could fix what I had screwed up last night. When I passed the living room I noticed Bella staring off into space so I quietly made my way to the kitchen as I thought about what I was going to say.
I assume Bella must have heard me because by the time I made my way back to the living room she had a smile plastered on her face as if nothing was bothering her.
"Morning babe. How did you sleep?" Bella asked.
I stopped to give her a kiss before I took my seat next to her on the couch. "Morning. I slept pretty well I guess. How did you sleep?"
"Fine." Bella replied.
Before I got a chance to try and apologize for last night Bella started talking. "So do you have anything planned before you have to go back to work?"
"Nope. Do you have any plans for the day?" I asked.
"Angela and I are going to get together. I'm not exactly sure what we are going to do but I'm looking forward to spending time with her outside the office again."
"That's great babe." I told her. I was really happy that she was going to be spending time with Angela. Hopefully Angela would be able to make Bella see that the way Alice and Jasper are acting is not her fault.
"Bella, about last night…" I started.
Bella stopped me before I could say anything else. "You were right. I guess I was just tired last night and took things a little too personally especially with the assignment that my therapist wants me to do. Thank you for putting up with me and my mood swings," she said as she leaned in to give me a kiss.
I was pretty sure that Bella was just trying to make me feel better but I didn't want to call her on it and make things even worse so I just didn't say anything.
We sat there drinking our coffee. All too soon I knew that I was going to have to go if I wanted to get to work on time. "Babe, I hate to say it but I need to go. I have to stop at home before I head to the hospital."
"Okay. Have a good day at work Edward." Bella said quietly.
"I will. You have fun with Angela. Can I call you tomorrow and maybe we can grab lunch or something?" I asked her.
"Sure," she replied quietly.
I gathered my stuff and headed out. All the way home and then again on my way to work I couldn't get the look in Bella's eyes out of my head. Even though she tried to hide it I could tell that Bella was putting a wall up. I vowed to myself that I was going to fix this and let Bella know how much I love her.
Thankfully the emergency room was steady so I didn't have too much time to worry about Bella. I was surprised when Sunday morning I was paged to the reception area and found Bella standing there waiting for me. I couldn't hide the smile that graced my face as I saw her.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked.
Suddenly Bella seemed to get nervous. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" she asked.
"Nope. This is a very pleasant surprise." I told her as I gave her a chaste kiss.
"Here, I thought you might like a cup of coffee." Bella said as she handed me the Starbucks cup in her hand.
"Thanks babe. Didn't you get yourself anything?"
"Yeah, but I drank it already," she said with a shrug as she started to blush.
"Do you have a few minutes? Would you like to sit with me while I drink this?" I asked her.
"Sure. That is if I'm not interrupting anything."
"Nope. I was just going to take a break anyway. Now I just have an even better reason." I told her as I steered her toward my office.
We took a seat on the couch and sat there quietly. After a few minutes I broke the silence. "So how was your day yesterday? Did you and Angela have fun?"
A smile broke out on Bella's face as she went to answer my question. "Yeah, we did have fun. We didn't do a whole lot but we did sign up for a kickboxing class that we are going to start taking this week."
I loved seeing the smile on her face but I couldn't help but worry. "Are you sure that you shouldn't wait a little longer." I asked her.
Bella rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm sure. The doctor said I could but I promise that if I have any pain I will stop and wait a little longer." Bella said as she leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Sorry, I just don't want anything to happen to you so I guess I am just being a little overprotective." I told her as I kissed her.
She laughed and shook her head at me. "Don't worry about it. So have you been busy?"
"Not too bad. Thankfully it has all been minor stuff. Hopefully it stays that way for the next few hours." I told her. "So have you thought about where you might want to have lunch?"
Bella cocked her head to the side and looked at me while she shook her head. "Nope, I figured since you have been the one working that I would let you pick."
"I really don't care as long as I get to spend some time with my girl." I told her.
Before Bella got a chance to respond my phone signaled a text message. I looked down and furrowed my brow when I noticed whom it was from.
"Something wrong?" Bella asked after seeing the look I gave my phone.
"Nah, it's just a text from Jasper." I tell her confused.
"Oh. Hopefully nothing bad happened." Bella said.
I opened the message and was surprised by what it said. "Hmm, Jasper wants to get together." I told Bella.
"Oh really. Maybe you should do it." She said quietly.
I looked at her and suddenly it was like a mask was on her face. I could tell that there was something that she wasn't telling me. "I will get together with him another time. We were going to have lunch today."
Bella shook her head. "Edward, please just go ahead and meet with him. We can have dinner tomorrow instead."
I looked Bella in the eyes. I could tell that there was something she wasn't telling me but I didn't want to cause more problems with us. Instead I just said, "If you're sure baby. I can always get together with him later. I was really looking forward to spending time with you." I said with a little pout.
She laughed but it didn't reach her eyes. "I promise it's all good. It will just make tomorrow even better," she told me with a kiss.
Not wanting to cause any problems I just agreed with her. I texted Jasper and told him I would meet him at the diner near the hospital. Unfortunately right after I finished texting him my pager went off and I had to get back to work.
Bella gave me a kiss and took off while I went to see what had come into the emergency room. The rest of my shift went by quickly and before I knew it, it was time to meet Jasper for a late lunch.
I walked into the diner and he was already sitting there. "Hey man," I said as I made my way over to the booth where Jasper was sitting.
"Hey. Thanks for having lunch with me." Jasper replied.
"No problem." I replied as I took my seat.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes as we looked over our menus. Once we had placed our orders Jasper broke the silence.
"So how are things going for you?"
"They have been pretty good. Busy, but good." I replied.
"Good, good. So how is Bella?"
"Bella is doing okay. She is getting better every day."
We fell into an uncomfortable silence then. Finally not being able to take it any more I spoke. "So was there a reason you wanted to meet for lunch?"
Suddenly Jasper started to fidget and I got the impression that I probably wasn't going to like whatever he might say. "Actually, I was hoping we could talk about Alice."
"What about her?" I asked confused. "Has something happened?"
"Alice is upset because you refuse to spend time with her anymore. I hate to see her unhappy man and I was hoping that maybe you would find the time to visit her."
"First Jasper, I haven't refused to spend time with Alice. I have been busy and working." I started before he cut me off.
"Yet you find time to spend with Bella and you can't find time to see your own sister."
"Yes Jasper I have spent time with Bella. Besides I saw Alice last week at family dinner but she didn't seem to concerned with talking to me then so what is the big deal now."
"Alice is hurt that you are choosing someone you just met over her. You are choosing someone who has gone out of her way to hurt your sister and make her look bad without any consideration to how Alice feels."
"What are you talking about Jasper?" I asked. "How has Bella gone out of her way to hurt Alice?"
"You have been there. She has tried to make sure everyone feels sorry for her and made me and Alice out to be the bad people. I love my sister but she is acting like a little brat." Jasper spit.
I shook my head because what I really wanted to do was punch him. "Jasper, you and I have been friends for longer than you have been with Alice. But right now my dislike for you and your actions have nothing to do with anything Bella has done or said. If anything Bella has pushed me to spend more time with you guys. It is my choice not to do it. In fact when you texted me about lunch I already had plans with your sister but she made me come. How is that being selfish?" I asked him.
Jasper looked at me after I finished with my tirade. I was really regretting letting Bella talk me into having lunch with Jasper. Thankfully before the silence could get too awkward our lunch came.
We ate mostly in silence but I could see Jasper thinking. I could only hope that he was considering what I had told him. It wasn't until after the waitress had cleared the plates that I ventured to speak again.
"Jasper, I must say that I hate that things are awkward between us right now, but it has nothing to do with anything Bella has done or said. Rather, if Bella had her way she would fix everything."
"They why doesn't she?"
"Bella hasn't done anything wrong. She has tried to step out and make sure that she isn't involved because she believes you think that she has ruined your life."
Jasper had a look of surprise on his face when I told him that. "Why would she think that?"
"Maybe because you and Alice have said it not only to her but in front of her." I told him pointedly.
"No, I haven't…" he said before he trailed off. "Oh fuck."
I knew then that he realized what I was talking about. "Dude, I didn't mean it. I swear I love Bella."
"That may be true, but right now Bella believes that all she has done is cause problems for everyone since your parents died. Did you know that she left her coffee date with Rose because Alice got mad and was yelling at Rose on the phone and Bella knew it had something to do with her."
Jasper hung his head when I told him this. "Fuck, Edward I think I may have made things even worse."
"What did you do?"
"Well, Alice has been upset about not seeing you so when Bella had called me last night to see if I wanted to get together I told her I was busy…" he trailed off.
I shook my head. Now the look on Bella's face when I got Jasper's text made sense. "Dude, I could kill you right now. Bella was with me when I got your invite to lunch. She had brought me coffee at the hospital. We were supposed to have lunch and she backed out when she knew that you asked me."
"Do you think I should call her?" Jasper asked.
"Normally I would say yes, but Bella knows we are together so if you call her now she is going to believe that the only reason you are talking to her is because I am somehow forcing you. Please tell me that you guys have a time set to get together."
"Actually, I told her I am really busy and that I had to check my schedule." Jasper said looking ashamed. "I was angry man. She hurt my wife."
"No Jasper, Alice hurt Alice. All Bella has done is try to not burden anybody despite the fact that she was recently attacked and raped." I said through gritted teeth.
He flinched at the tone of my voice. I hated not only him and Alice right now, but also myself. No wonder Bella was shutting herself off.
"Jasper, I am in love with Bella and I hate how you have been treating her. I have kept my mouth shut because I haven't wanted to cause problems for her, but dude you need to pull your head out of your ass before it is too late and you lose Bella forever. Maybe you need to take a close look at what exactly you have done and said lately before you start blaming Bella for everything." I spat at him before throwing some money down and leaving.
I tried to call Bella but her phone just went straight to voicemail. I drove by her apartment and she wasn't there. I started to worry as I thought of everything that had happened since I stayed over at her apartment. I need to talk to her.
A/N
I apologize for the delay. Unfortunately my computer decided to crash and I didn't have this chapter saved on my flash drive. Rewriting it took longer because I wanted to get it close to how it was before. Thankfully the computer is fixed and the next chapter is being written and will be posted by the end of the weekend to make up for the delay.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter.