Disclaimer: All Twilight related characters belong to S. Meyer.

A/N: Wow you guys. Wow. I am so blown away by your kind words and compliments from the final chapter. It makes it even hard to end this! I'm so thankful that I get the opportunity to say thank you again on this chapter. You guys rock my world. I'm sorry I couldn't respond to every review but know that I read and appreciate EVERY one.

Here's two fun chapters of complete fluff. I figure these two kids could use some of that, as could you! Enjoy and thank you again so very much for reading Foul Territory. It has been the BEST ride.

Foul Territory

Epilogue 1

It was no secret that I had a shameless love for Christmas. Well, it was a secret to Edward until December first rolled around and I dragged him by the sleeve to the nearest tree lot to carry a tree back to the condo.

Good thing he was strong.

Good thing Jake didn't have a bad habit of peeing on Christmas trees.

Angela had been allergic to Christmas trees and I had been deprived of my conifer holiday tradition for the past several years. Now that Angela had all but moved out and I was pretty much living with Edward, I decided his place was best to set up a tree. Thankfully he was not allergic. After a little convincing, he had carried our little tree up the elevator and propped it up next to his piano like a champ.

A World Series Champ, nonetheless.

I made sure the tree had plenty of orange and black on its branches. In fact, I may have "themed" the tree a little too severely but Alice nearly fainted from excitement when she'd seen it a few weeks ago. I suppose a championship team needed a championship tree.

Now it was Christmas Eve and while I was a strict believer in opening gifts on Christmas day, we were leaving on a flight for Florida at seven the next morning. Edward had finally managed to steal some time away from his busy press schedule and workout regime to take us on a vacation. I was so excited to travel with Edward that it put my love for Yuletide cheer to shame.

We were headed to Jacksonville, Florida first, where Edward would finally meet my mom. After a quick visit, we were hiding out in the Keys where we probably wouldn't make it out of our hotel room.

Like a couple of annoying honeymooners.

Which we weren't.

Yet.

Shut up. Tropical locale sex was important in any relationship. Right?

Right.

I had just opened up three jerseys with "Cullen" proudly embroidered on the back, along with number 17. Edward had made sure I had all colors of the Giants' jerseys to wear to games. I was supposed to do that now. Go to games.

It's what good girlfriends did, apparently.

He had also given me his favorite warm up jersey to wear to bed every night, as the new jerseys had a spiffy new "World Series Champions" patch on the sleeve.

Convenient for me.

We were surrounded by a small pile of shredded holiday paper and ribbon with our hands clasped between us. Edward was wearing his new Seattle Mariner's hat that I had given him. The tag hung awkwardly from the top and his hair was sticking funnily out from underneath. I reached up and lifted it off his head.

"It doesn't look right," I said, eyeing the black and turquoise logo dubiously.

Edward smiled proudly at me. "I think it's alright for me to root for a minor league team, don't you?"

I pursed my lips in thought and then placed the hat on top of Jake's head as he gnawed on his new bone. "Maybe."

Edward chuckled and reached under the tree. "I have something else for you."

"Me too," I replied with a smug smile. Mine was good.

When he sat back up he handed me a tiny, wrapped box. I eyed it cautiously. "You first," he said, urging me on with a nod of his head.

I ripped off the paper and revealed a small, square and black box.

Small? Square? Black?

Suddenly I felt flushed and my heart sped up in my throat. You don't suppose…

Edward noted my reaction and rolled his eyes heavily.

"Honestly Bella?"

I looked back at him sheepishly, my accelerated heart rate slowing immediately. Honestly, yes.

"You think I'd sink as low to propose on Christmas by the Christmas tree? You should know by now that I'm much more of a message on the scoreboard and pitching mound kind of guy."

I tried not to smile and I threw the wad of wrapping paper at his head. He brushed it aside easily and leaned forward. "Not yet, love." His fingers brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Although you do make it hard to be rational sometimes." He left me with a soft, lingering kiss before leaning back and gesturing for me to open my gift.

I lifted the lid of the box and studied the contents curiously.

What?

Inside was a small, silver key. Actually, it wasn't even silver. It was silver-coated brass. The key was too small to be a house key and why would it be? I've had the key to Edward's condo on my key ring for months.

"What is this for?" I asked, arching a brow.

Edward chuckled. "It's the key to the trash locker."

The trash locker?

Suddenly I was annoyed. I cleaned more than enough in this condo. In fact, I'm pretty sure I over-cleaned in exchange for him letting me crash in his beautiful home.

"I'm not clean enough for you?"

He rolled his eyes and scooted closer to me so our knees were touching. "Don't be ridiculous. You're clean enough for the both of us."

"Did Jake take a dump on the entry mat again?" Jake lifted his head at the sound of his name.

"No."

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

"Look at what's written on the key."

Christ. Had he engraved the stupid trash key? I lifted the tiny key out of the box and inspected it. Written in plain, all caps were the words, "DO NOT DUPLICATE." Was that supposed to be a metaphor?

I was so confused.

"I'm glad you find me irreplaceable," I deadpanned.

Edward let out a laugh. "Bella, who gets keys that aren't allowed to be duplicated? Who gets trash keys?"

I let out a sigh. This present was way too complicated. "I don't know, tenants?"

He grinned in response.

Tenants.

Wait just a moment…

"Edward," I started, leaning close to stare at him. "What are you saying?"

"What are you asking?"

Suddenly my heart was in my throat. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"

He was still grinning as he nodded his head rapidly.

"Oh my God!" I closed my fingers around the key and sprung into his arms, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and settling in his lap. "You're asking me to move in with you!"

"I've wanted to for ages. Pretty much since the day you took me back."

I pulled back and kissed him several times on his smiling lips. "I've wanted to live here since then too."

"So you will?"

"Of course I will!" I cried, kissing him over and over. "Can Jake come too?"

Edward chuckled from under my lips. "I've already started the paperwork to legally adopt him."

We both laughed and I pulled away to look deep into his eyes. "You need to open my present now."

He feigned a whine as I leaned off him and picked up a small, flat box from under the tree. "I was hoping we could go find the trash locker."

I snorted and thrust the box into his hand. I stayed on his lap as he inspected is closely.

"We can find it after this," I agreed, settling snuggly into the crook of his shoulder. "Open it."

He shredded the bow and paper I'd wrapped around it and pulled off the lid slowly. A smile spread over his face as he pulled out two library cards from inside.

"You are so adorable," he said, kissing my cheek loudly. "You got us library cards?"

He was missing the point. Apparently we'd both expected too much from our gifts.

"Look closer," I said, gesturing with my chin at the cards in his hands. There were two, one for me and one for Edward but he was missing the main surprise.

Edward did as he was told and inspected both cards carefully. "Bella Swan, Edward Cullen. San Francisco Public Libraries." He looked back at me. "What am I missing?"

I smiled. "What library system?"

Suddenly understanding dawned on him and he glanced back at the cards quickly. "San Francisco," he mumbled. His arm tightened around me as he dropped the cards back into the box and placed his free hand on my face. "Bella…"

"I made the transfer last month," I said, answering his questioning eyes. "Yesterday was my last day. I start at the new library when we get home."

I didn't think it was possible for his smile to grow any bigger but he proved me wrong. "You were going to move in anyway?"

"I don't want to be separated anymore. I'm tired of pretending to live two separate lives."

Edward traced a finger down my jaw to my chin. "I'm just tired of driving to Berkeley." His straight face wavered at once and we both dissolved into a fit of laughter. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and kissed my forehead. "Bella, I haven't wanted to be separated from you since our first date."

I snuggled my head under his chin.

"I was going to make sure you didn't feel like I was rushing things but I think your gift kind of took away the need for that conversation. What do you think?"

"I'm pretty sure you're right."

"Hmmm," Edward hummed into my hair. "Since we can skip that awkward moment, what do you say we try to find this trash locker? I can't seem to remember where it is."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh really."

"Yup. Completely forgot."

I played along. "Well, it's probably in the bedroom. In the general area of the bed, I'm sure."

Edward was looking around the room, craning his neck overdramatically. "I was thinking on the couch, or under the rug. Perhaps the piano is the trash locker?"

My heart started racing as I followed his gaze to the shiny, black baby grand in the corner. Oh, the piano.

"Definitely the piano," I said, lifting my chin so the bridge of my nose was pressed to his throat. I took a deep breath of his cologne.

"That's what I thought," he murmured, lips silky smooth over my temple.

Before I could blink he was standing with me in his arms and the piano was moving closer. I basked in the thrill of my beating heart and tingling belly. Living with Edward would definitely be fun.