Chapter Twenty-Five

A Prayer For The Dying

Ava

"What deal, Dean?"

I stared at the boys. They glanced between each other. Dean looked nervous. Sam looked apologetic.

"Um.. it's a deal with the bartender. I uh..." Dean mumbled.

I could see the look in his eyes when I woke up in the back of his car. All the blood. The tears on his cheek. Bobby and Sams shocked expression.

A deal.

I felt sick. "Don't lie to me!" My voice cracked. We were at a crossroad. I didn't think about it before. I was so disoriented. "You didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

"Ava." He stood slowly, putting his hands up.

"The demon killed me, didn't it?" My hands shook. Tears fell out of my eyes. They were hot rolling down my cheeks.

"Ava just..." He reached for me, and I slapped his hand out of the way.

"You sold your soul? After everything we have been through with demons?"

"You're pregnant. And I... I can't live without you. You're family."

A sob escaped my lips, and I put my hand over my mouth to stifle it. "That's why you want to settle down? Because we only have ten years together?"

He sighed and a tear rolled down his cheek. "I didn't get ten years, Ave."

"What do you mean?"

"I got six months. I had six months. I have about five now."

"Attention! It is my pleasure to introduce Mr and Mrs Thompson!"

I couldn't breathe. I felt like the air in the ballroom was heavy. The walls were closing in. "I have to get out of here." I turned and ran into the crowd. I pushed out the door into the night air. I immediately doubled over and threw up into the bushes.

Five months.

I collapsed on my knees. I looked to the cloudy Seattle night sky. "Why?!" I shouted. I knew my makeup was all over my face, but I didn't care.

It was too much. I looked at my stomach. We would be alone. He would be gone.

I pressed my hand against my chest, trying to keep my heart from bursting.

"Ava!" Dean said, pushing through the doors.

He spotted me immediately and ran to me, dropping to his knees. "I'm so sorry."

I looked up at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He put his hands on my cheeks, and he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "I didn't want to break your heart. You deserved to be happy."

"So you were just going to marry me and then die?"

"I didn't really think it through." He ran his fingers through my hair.

I saw Sam come out of the doors, hovering at the entrance.

"How am I going to raise this baby alone?"

"You won't be." He promised. "Sam will help."

"Sam isn't you." I said, heartbroken.

He pulled me into his arms tighter. I wanted to scream at him, but every time I opened my mouth sobs just came out.

"I'm so mad at you." I told him, as I cried into his chest.

"I know." He rubbed my back.

"I couldn't let you die. Couldn't let anything happen to you and Peanut."

I looked at my stomach. He was a good man. He was the best man I knew. I couldn't let him die either. There had to be a way out. Sam had to be looking already.

"The answer is no." I said, biting my lip.

"The answer to what?"

"I won't marry you, Dean. Not like this. Not because you're afraid or obligated." I shook my head. "I won't marry you just so you can leave me a widow."

"Okay." He whispered, resting his chin on my head. I could feel wetness in my hair.

I wrapped my arms around his thick form, and he met my hug. I could've stayed like that forever.

I looked up at Sam, and he looked like he was fighting back tears too. Please have a plan. We can't lose him.

"I can't believe you lied to me." I said wiping my eyes.

"There was no good way to say it."

"Then you say it anyway." I said pulling away. "No more lies."

"Ava I..."

"No." I said shaking my head. "This is how it has to be. You too, Sam. Don't you ever lie to me again. I don't care how bad it is. You have to tell me."

"Deal." Dean said slowly.

"Okay. Good." I said standing slowly. "Now I need a minute."

Dean stood with me, supporting my arm. "I'll come with you."

"No. I need a minute alone."

He held onto my elbow and studied me. "Truth, are you good?"

"No. I'm not. Truth, are you?"

He shook his head. "No."

I touched his cheek, and he leaned into my hand. "We will be okay." I said, even though I just promised no lying. "I just need some time."

We didn't have any time.

"Yeah, okay." He said and I lowered my hand.

I reached into his pocket and took the keys. "I'll keep her safe." I said, reaching up to kiss him. "I just need some air. I'll be back soon."

He nodded slowly. I turned away from the boys, trying to keep myself together until I was out of view.

I lowered myself into the Impala. I gripped the wheel and let out a painful cry. My body shook. I pressed my hand to my stomach. "Listen, Peanut, we will save Dad. We will, I promise. I won't let you grow up without him."

Dean

I fucked up. Epically. I turned to Sam. "Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, but you were thinking it."

A large raindrop fell and landed on my shoulder. I sighed. Fucking Seattle. "Let's go."

"Where?"

I shrugged. "Hell if I know." Knowing my luck Ava made off with my car and would never come back. I probably deserved it.

"Want to go play darts? I think we have had enough brooding for one afternoon."

I looked at my brother and nodded. "Sure."

We went to a bar that was within walking distance. We both shrugged off our tux coats and my bow tie was shoved in my pocket. I unbuttoned the top few buttons and rolled up my sleeves. I felt better already.

Sam brought us back a few beers and we settled in near the dart boards. "So, do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked as he tossed a dart, missing the center by a few inches.

"Not really." I said, standing. I tossed a dart hitting bullseye. "Ayy."

Sam smiled at me and rolled his eyes. "Things are different now. Different with Ava."

"Thought we weren't getting sentimental?" I frowned sitting.

"I'm not." He shrugged. "It's just a fact. If it were a year ago you'd be trying to get with a girl in the bar instead of hanging out with me."

"Aw, Sammy." I patted his shoulder. "You should just be less boring, then."

"What can I say? I'm a work in progress."

I laughed and took a drink. "Your turn."

He stood and grabbed a dart.

Sam was right. This year had changed me. I would've never gone to a wedding. I wouldn't have even considered marriage. Hell, I'd never even had a girlfriend. I stood to take my turn.

Maybe I could convince them to stop hunting. Maybe my opinions didn't matter anymore.

I tossed the dart and barely made it on the board. "Damn." I'm distracted.

"I'm kicking your ass." Sam said as he nailed a bullseye.

"Way to kick a guy when he's down, Sammy."

Sam shrugged. "I can't always go easy on you, Dean."

"Cold." I said dramatically.

I stood up and focused.

Ava leaned against the bar holding a beer. "You got this."

"Put those away. You're distracting me." I said, gesturing to her breasts.

"Oh, what? these?" She pressed her arms against her breasts, pushing her cleavage together.

"Oh god. That's unfair." I groaned. I tossed the dart, hitting the bullseye.

"Damn, you're too good." She pouted.

"No, Ave. You are." I said pulling her against me.

"God, you two should get a room." Sam complained.

"I intend to." I said low, looking down at her.

"Don't let her be lonely." I said, lowering the dart. "And teach my kid how to play darts. I don't want him to be an embarrassment."

"Him?"

"Ava thinks it's a boy."

"You too?"

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter."

"I will. I promise."

I looked back to my brother. "I'm putting a lot on you, and I'm sorry. It just has to be you."

"I know."

"Good." I turned and tossed the dart. Bullseye. Just wish it was worth more.

Ava

I was barefoot in the mud burying a box in the middle of two roads. Which way to go? I looked up to the sky. It was raining. My hair was soaked and my dress clung to me more than it did before. I stood up, wiping the mud on my dress. There was no point. Not anymore.

"Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae."

Lightening struck above my head, and then thunder rolling close. I closed my eyes and opened them again.

I said it right. I knew I did.

"Show yourself!"

I was only met with a roar of rain as it fell harder around me.

I raised my voice and repeated the chant. "Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae!"

"You all don't stop, do you?" A mans voice said from directly behind me.

"We won't ever stop."

"You are very pretty. I can see why it was worth his soul." The demon shrugged. "I suppose."

"We need to get Dean out of his deal."

"What part of, you try and you die do you not understand? Enjoy your months, sweetie. They're all you're going to get."

I looked at the demon through the rain. "There has to be a way."

"There isn't." He said walking towards me. "So let it go."

"No!" I said pulling a gun out of my dress. I pointed it at the demon, even though I knew it wouldn't help.

His mouth opened and smoke exploded out of it, shooting into the clouds.

I fell to my knees in the mud, in a puddle. The rain washed everything away. My tears were just more water on my face. It all meant nothing. I couldn't get him out of it. Not without killing our child too. He would never forgive me. I would never forgive me.

My hands were in the mud gripping for something, anything solid, but the only got more water. It was a flood. Maybe it would wash me away.

I stood up, slowly. I looked up at the darkened sky. It was threatening. It was angry. I was looking in a mirror.

I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I closed my eyes. "I don't know if you're out there. I don't know if you're real, or if you give a shit. Just... don't let this happen. God, please don't take him. He is the best man I know. He helps people. He's a hero... he..." I opened them again. "It's pointless, but fuck, if there's evil there has to be good. I know there is because as long as Dean is here there will always be good. Get him out of this, God. It's the least that he's earned."

I put my hand on my stomach and walked back to the Impala. I was covered in rain and mud. I reached into the trunk and got out an old blanket that I had stashed for the cold car rides. I laid it down in the front seat and got in.

I started the car, flipping on the windshield wipers. I half expected to see a demon when I turned on the lights, or maybe God. But it was so much worse than that.

All I saw was the night.

—

I walked in the bar, wet and covered in mud. "Dean." I said when I saw him.

"Ava." He stood up, and I ran to him, jumping into his arms.

He caught me, and I pressed my lips to his. He held me close and relaxed into my mouth.

"Hey." He whispered against my mouth. "You good?"

I opened my eyes and met his green, glowing concern. "Let's not talk." I whispered.

He nodded. "Okay." He kissed me again, scooping me up bridal style. He pushed out into the night to take me to bed, to the place where time always seemed to stop for us.