Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!

Chapter 25

Same Old Fears

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

I had been staring at the cold, windswept Hogwarts grounds for hours and hours. I was up the tall Astronomy Tower singing to myself the same old lines, that same old song. I didn't know why that first verse had been stuck inside my head all day. I couldn't even remember the lyrics that followed. I could barely remember how I'd had the idea to spend most of my Sunday up there, to tell you the truth.

"Hogwarts is a heaven in the midst of a raging hell," I thought sadly. "Yet, can I really tell what's the difference between the two?"

I checked my watch and swore under my breath. It was time to go. I had to be at the Order's Headquarters in less than thirty minutes.

I sighed heavily and sent a last glance outside of the dusty window, hoping and praying that night's meeting would solve part of my problems.

...

The Headquarters were already warm and chatty when Minerva let me in the house. Even though I knew to be a few minutes late, it seemed like the meeting hadn't started yet. I scanned the room in anticipation, my heart beating fast. It didn't take me long to find who I was looking for. Sirius. A pair of grey eyes stared right back at me, defiant and guilty. Not sure of how to feel and act, I looked away.

It took me a few seconds to realise that the Headmaster wasn't even there.

"Where's Albus?" I asked Minerva with a frown. It wasn't a Dumbledore's thing to be late.

"He received a letter from the Ministry an hour ago and asked me to tell everyone to wait. He said he wouldn't be much late," she said.

I nodded in understanding and sat down on the nearest available chair.

I grabbed an empty glass from the table and poured myself some water, not daring to look further than the tray of sandwiches placed in front of me. A few people around me greeted me politely, others kept going on with their conversations, too engrossed to notice I'd just joined them at the table.

It was a first but being ignored suited me just fine. Suddenly, a light pat on my shoulder woke me up from my thoughts. It was Lily.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, Jemma?" she asked me quietly, sitting down beside me.

I shrugged my shoulders, not sure of what to say. She didn't look angry, but wasn't particularly happy, either.

"Would you like to talk about what happened?" she asked.

"Many things have happened during this past week, Lily," I replied with a small voice.

"Well," she considered, "Start from the thing that worries you the most then." She was being extremely patient. Her tone reminded me of the one she used with Harry whenever the little child was ready for a tantrum.

"Black got angry with me because I'm apparently turning to the Dark Side, he slapped me and fled. Then, I was in the battle at the Ministry of Magic. I saw Bellatrix kill a 20 year old Auror trainee and I didn't have the guts to stop her. I stood there, safely covered by Moody's Invisibilty Cloak, my wand lowered, waiting for the whole mess to end. That's what happened. Happy now?" I said all this in a monotone, my hands shaking slightly.

Lily sighed and took my hands in hers. "Sirius is a prat, Jem. I thought you knew that. He's been an absolute wreck for the whole week. He's sorry and misses you." She paused. "About the battle...please, don't feel guilty. You weren't ready and we understand that. All of us are happy you came out of it in one piece."

I nodded and muttered a small "Thank you."

...

"I apologise for my lateness, my dear friends," Dumbledore spoke. "I was called to the Ministry about two hours ago, as I am sure Minerva has already told all of you, because there has been an emergency. Unfortunately, the news I have to report are dire and sad. Very dire and sad indeed."

Everyone in the room stared at the Headmaster dreading what his next words would be.

"Arthur Weasley and his family have been reported missing. The Ministry does not know what has happened to them, yet. William, Arthur and Molly's eldest son, is currently at Hogwarts. I was asked to inform the little boy of the situation. This is why I could not make it here on time."

The Orders' members paled. Minerva, shocked, brought a hand to her mouth. I began to shake.

"No!" I cried. "This can't be happening! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Jemma, please, calm down," said Albus sadly. Lily gave me a hug, her face horrified and tear strained as much as mine must have been.

"We have to save them no matter what!" I said loudly to the room at large. "They c-can't die!"

The people who didn't know me much at all, looked at me sympathetically. They probably thought I hadn't realised yet we couldn't save everyone. I was just the newest recruit, after all.

The Weasleys could not be dead.

Feeling overwhelmed and frightened I disentangled myself from Lily and exited the room in a hurry. I welcomed the piercing cold on my skin with relief.

"I have to do something," I thought panicking.

The Burrow I repeated over and over again, before turning on the spot. The freezing cold was soon replaced by fat icy droplets of rain falling on my head and shoulders like heavy bullets. For once, I didn't complain about the rain but kept walking up the path until I reached the house, instead.

The sight in front of me chilled me to the bones. The tall building was dark and visibly empty. The front door wasn't there anymore and a few windows had been shattered by rocketing spells. The Dark Mark had been cast upon its roof. My heart dropped. Someone must have died in there. I fell on my knees, the world pressing on my shoulders.

"I've failed" I muttered over and over again.

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
And cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk on part in the war,
For a lead role in a cage?

I don't know why I started singing at that point. I was drenched in rain, surrounded by darkness and completely alone. I don't know why I could finally remember the lyrics that had eluded me all day.

I was about to leave the Burrow when I heard a soft cry.

"Ron, stop it, please!" a young voice whispered from a thick shrub of bushes somewhere on my right.

Ron.

I felt hopeful all of a sudden. Perhaps some of the kids had survived. Ron was alive. I silently got closer to where the voice had come from, then lit up my wand.

"Is anyone still here?" I asked softly.

Please God, or whoever is looking from up there, please, let them be alive...

I heard gasps and whimpers but no reply came.

"I'm Jemma De Angelis," I explained, my voice calm. "I'm not one of the bad people, I'm not a Death Eater. I'm here to save you. Please, believe me."

Still no answer.

"Are you either Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron or Ginny?" I asked after a few seconds. A sudden movement shook the short shrubs and a small red-head, not older than three or four, came out abruptly. Fred or George. He was shaking badly and tears were cascading down his cheeks. He was sodding wet, his ginger hair plastered onto his freckled little face.

"Go away or I'll fight you!" he cried showing me his fist.

I smiled at him. "You're Fred, aren't you?" I asked him.

"How do you know my name's Fred?" he exclaimed surprised.

"You're the boldest twin," I grinned extending my hand. A hesitant smile formed on his cheeky face and he took a step closer.

"Fred, no!" shouted an eight year old boy – Charlie, I guessed – taking his little brother's arm. "Don't go near her!"

"Charlie, please, listen to me," I pleaded, lowering my wand. "I'm here to take all of you to a safe place. I'm with Dumbledore!" Charlie stared back at me both fearfully and hopefully. He definitely knew who Dumbledore was and that had made him wonder.

"Who is hiding in there a part from you and Fred?" I asked gently.

"George and Ron," said Charlie. "Ron's sick...his forehead's burning."

"Oh my..." I gasped. "Can - ?

I was startled to see Fred and Charlie's eyes staring fearfully at something and then scurrying away inside the vegetation once again.

"L - leave your wand on the ground and roll it away from you," said an anxious male voice from behind my back.

I didn't move.

"Do as I say or I'll kill the children!" he threatened me.

Damn!

I did as he asked and turned slowly towards the man. From what I could see from the feeble light cast by his wand, he was rather short and plumpy. I couldn't see his features clearly as his black hooded cloak was covering him almost entirely. I highly doubted he was a Ministry employee. That left only one option. I was facing a Death Eater.

"Who are you?" I asked boldly.

"It doesn't matter," he replied coldly, tightening the grip on his wand. He was breathing fast, as if he was more afraid of me than me of him.

That didn't make any sense. I was wandless with no way of escaping and the thought of not being able to protect the kids poisoning my mind with fear and dread.

"Please..." I begged him. "One of the kids is sick! He needs my help!"

"Shut up!" the man said loudly. He was shaking as well. He conjured a set of ropes and bound me with it.

"I have to kill you," the man said whimpering, looking at me in the face. "My Lord said "no intruders" and I – I can't let you go. I don't want to k – kill you, but – but you have to understand... He's going to torture me if I d – disobey his orders..."

I instantly knew who was hiding underneath that black heavy cloak.

Peter Pettigrew took a deep breath and pointed his wand directly to my heart.

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

I thought of Sirius, the Potters, my parents...

"AVADA - "

...

Lyrics : Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

A/N: Such an irritating cliffy, don't you think? More is coming soon, don't worry!
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