Chapter 25

The Reunion

Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.

EPOV

Jane asked me to ride with her to Fairbanks, and I agreed. She didn't tell me why, but I assumed it had something to do with meeting her father. He was a professor at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks. I was curious about her sudden change of heart. She had been unbending in her decision to keep me a secret from her parents. I wasn't sure if she was worried about my self-control around humans and didn't want to risk the chance of me killing her family, or if they really were that crazy. I was a patient person and could wait until she was ready; I didn't expect it would have been so soon.

I started to have doubts on the reason for our trip when she passed the university. From the way Jane's heart was racing, we had to be going someplace unpleasant.

"Where exactly are we going? I thought maybe you had a sudden change of heart and wanted to introduce me to your father."

"I want to introduce you to my mother — first." A thin layer of perspiration glistened on her forehead. I thought it very strange for someone to be so afraid of their own mother. She hadn't acted this scared when she had been around Reggie.

She parked her Honda in front of a small, quaint bookstore. I walked around to open her door and had to carefully pry her warm fingers loose from the steering wheel. She inhaled deeply through her nose and slowly released it out of her mouth. With her anxiety at an all time high — it did nothing to help me control my desires. If she didn't calm down soon, I would have to excuse myself and find a solitude place to regain my composure. That wouldn't be a good first impression for her mother.

I laughed at her nervousness once I got her out of the car. "Why are you so tense?" I asked, wishing she would look at me instead of my chest. "Trust me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm the one who should be nervous."

"Y-you don't understand," she said still refusing to look me in the face. "You're going to hate me, but I can't continue for you to blame yourself for something you didn't do. I love you too much. I would rather lose you than for you to have to live centuries with an unnecessary burden."

She distracted me when she admitted she loved me. The word love wasn't something she used often; she didn't give her love freely to just anyone. She was sincere with her feelings and guarded them closely. Something she must had picked up from her mother. "Jane, you're not making any sense. I don't —"

"Promise me you won't hate me?" She finally lifted her eyes to mine. The unspoken pain was evident. My meeting her parents wasn't worth the agony it was causing her. She had to know that nothing she did could ever make me hate her. Promise me that you will forgive me and not hate me? I knew that was what she was thinking. It wasn't something I had made-up inside my head — it was Jane's voice.

"I —"

"Jane, what are you doing…"

It was a voice I never thought I would hear again. It sounded more mature than I remembered. Jane's breathing slowed down, as well as her heartbeat. Reluctantly I moved my eyes to stare at the female standing five feet behind Jane.

Jane moved to the side and said, "Mom, I think you know Edward Cullen. I'll leave you two alone — I'm sure you both have a lot of catching up to do. I'll be down at the coffee shop on the corner." She dropped her head and quickly walked down the street.

Bella and I continued to stare at each other. She was no longer the teenager I once knew. Her hair seemed a little thinner. There were a few silver hairs, but not enough for the human eye to notice. Her skin was still ivory and without a doubt still just as smooth. Her eyes a deep brown also told a different story about her life; she was no longer the naïve girl with a kind heart. She had grown physically and emotionally in the last twenty years.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" She pulled her brown sweater tighter around her. I was still too stunned to respond. Jane had known my story; how long she had known, I couldn't be sure. I also wasn't sure exactly how much she knew.

The silence loomed between us like a heavy fog. Some people passed between us on the sidewalk with curious looks. Bella turned and walked back in the store, certain that I would follow — which I did. She turned the hanging closed sign around to face the public.

"H-how did you find me? Never mind, stupid question." She was trembling; I wasn't sure if it was due to the cold or fear. "Why did you find me? Did you feel the need to make yourself feel better for leaving me twenty years ago?"

"No. I thought you were dead."

"You left me to die." Her words was like a stake through my heart. "The others were right — I was just a pet for you. An experiment…a bet maybe. Let's see how long Edward can be with a human before he loses control and kills her. I won, but ending up losing everything."

"It was never like that." The hatred and sorrow in her eyes was more than I could bear. "I truly loved you." That's what frustrated me the most. She had so easily believed me all those years ago when I told her I didn't want her. I hadn't expected to walk away so effortlessly.

"You don't abandon someone you love. You left me alone to fend for myself against a sadistic vampire," she yelled as tears poured down her face. "Do you have any idea the damage you caused me? Do you even care?" Her face was red with anger.

"Bella, I only left to protect you — for you to be able to live a normal life."

She laughed bitterly. "I would have had a normal life had I never met you. I've lived a life of pure hell because of you. You told me that my memory was no more than a sieve — time heals all wounds. You lied. I never forgot the day you left." She rubbed her scarred wrist. "I've never forgot what the fear of being hunted feels like."

She took a few deep breaths and her face seemed to relax. She casually sat down in one of the chairs designated for customers. I remained standing by the counter — still as a statue.

"When you left, I went through a deep depression. After a few months of endless nightmares and isolation, Charlie threatened to send me to Renee in Florida. I was still holding on to the hope that you would return and admit that you did love me." She fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater. "I was trying to cope with your absence. Sometimes, when I did careless activities — I could hear you. I went to our…your meadow so I wouldn't forget. It was there Laurent found me. He claimed he was only passing through, but Victoria wanted him to see if your family was still in town. Of course, you weren't. He did promise to kill me swiftly and painlessly — if that's even possible. He made sure I knew that Victoria's plans for me were much more vicious."

"Did werewolves kill Laurent?" She nodded woodenly at me. Her eyes were clouded with visions of the past. "I was told it was a werewolf who killed you."

"The werewolves saved me. They would have never hurt me."

The Denali Coven failed to mention that Laurent was going to kill Bella. Maybe they didn't know. All their information they had shared with us had come Victoria. It had all been a lie. My anger burned within me. I had known Victoria couldn't be trusted.

"Jacob Black. Did you know he was a werewolf?" she asked.

"I knew his ancestors were werewolves. His great-grandfather is the one who made the treaty with Carlisle."

"You were there." It was a statement — not a question. "Jacob and I became close friends. He helped piece together some of the pieces of my heart that you broke." I didn't turn away from her accusing eyes. "Had it not been for him and the rest of the wolf pack, Victoria would have killed me. She tried for three months, but finally gave up when she realized it wasn't worth herself getting killed since my death would have been in vain."

"Had I'd known they were still going to hunt you, I would have never left."

Her smile never reached her eyes. "You would have left eventually. I know the real reason you refused to change me. It was never my soul you were worried about. I didn't belong in your world because you never wanted me in your world. My scent that was so tantalizing would have become stale sooner or later. A younger, prettier girl would have come along and I would have been a distant memory." I frustrated me that she thought me so shallow. She never understood how deep my feelings for her had been.

"After I graduated high school, I realized the only way to get over you was to remove myself from everything that reminded me of you. I couldn't stay in Forks without seeing you everywhere. So, I moved to Jacksonville with Renee and Phil. I cut off all relationships that tied me to Forks. I didn't attend Jessica and Mike's wedding, Angela quit emailing me when I never responded, I became distant with Jacob, I never went to visit Charlie…" She clamped her lips to imprison a sob. It was a few moments before she could continued. "I thought I could run from the memories and associations of my past, but the nightmares followed me to Jacksonville. Renee wasn't as patient as Charlie and set me up with a few shrinks. They diagnosed me with everything from anxiety disorder, to posttraumatic stress, even schizoid personality disorder. Of course I couldn't be honest with them about you. If I had I'm sure they would have placed me in a white padded room.

"A few months later, I met Steven. He was…normal. Most of the time I was with him, I was able to forget. I told you that Jacob helped piece together only some of my broken heart — Steve fixed the rest. I was comfortable with him. He made it easy for me to be me." There was a glow in her eyes when she said his name. I had seen that glow and smile before; she used to have it when she saw me. "He was patient during my panic attacks when I would see a silver Volvo, or hear the name Edward, or see a red headed female.

"My outbursts worsened after Jane was born. It wasn't just my safety I had to be concerned for, but the safety of my child and husband. I knew she was still out there — that she would always be out there. I sent Jane to live with Renee for the first two years. I was terrified that she would find me or have another vampire find me. I knew what everyone considered a fantasy world was real. I knew what dangers hid not only in the night, but in the day as well.

"Emotionally I was over you, but mentally I was a wreck. For the first five years of Jane's life, I lived in fear. Fear one of you would come and steal her away. I used to have nightmares — me walking into her room to find an empty bed. Steve was scared that I was having postpartum depression. All my shrink did was prescribe more medication. Most of the time I sat around the house like a zombie.

"Then when I got pregnant with Austen, I had to come off all the medication. My eyes were clear and I saw how my actions were affecting Jane." She gulped hard as hot tears slipped down her cheeks. "She was reclusive and quiet. By the time Austen was born, she was six going on thirty. I never wanted her to end up like me. I wanted to be a better mother than Renee, but I wasn't."

"You can't say you were a terrible mother. Look how she turned out. She is strong, independent…just as stubborn as you." I couldn't resist a smile thinking of her now. She risked everything just so I wouldn't feel guilty for a death that never was. How could I ever hate such a selfless creature? My love for her intensified daily.

"Exactly how long have you known my daughter?"

"Since the beginning of the school year." I was a little embarrassed to explain my family's childish game. "We had been living in Vermont for a little over seven years, so it was time for us to move. We each picked a place where we wanted to live next, and placed it in a hat. Carlisle picked Emmett's choice — North Pole." I shook my head miserably. "He put it in as a joke."

"You've been living in the same small city with me — friends with my daughter, and yet you thought I was dead?" Her brown eyes narrowed in my direction. "How could you not have known I was Jane's mother? I find it hard to believe that a vampire with your talents didn't figure it out from the beginning."

Looking back, I found it hard to believe also. The similarities were definitely there, but never in a million years would I'd ever thought I could have fallen in love with Bella's daughter.

"I can't read her mind just as I can't yours."

"And my scent? Is it not as alluring as it once was?" Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Jane's scent must overpower yours."

Suddenly, her brown eyes grew wild. "You stay the hell away from my daughter," she yelled as she leaped from her chair. "I've been protecting her from you and your kind for seventeen years. I will not sit idly by while her life gets ripped apart the way mine was."

"I would never hurt her."

"The way you said you would never hurt me?" I had promised to protect her — a promise I failed to keep. "Do you want her to end up a basket case like I did? Do you want her running from vampires who want to kill her just for fun? You know how it will end. You will dazzle her and promise her your devotion. Then in a few months, when things begin to get out of hand, you will grasp what a huge mistake you made and leave her broken hearted."

"I'm not going to make the same mistake twice," I said with a firm voice.

Intense astonishment touched her pale face. "Are you telling me that if she wishes to become a vampire, you will change her?"

"Don't be absurd, Bella. I don't wish this life on anyone. You may truly think me a monster, but I would never take a beating heart from anyone, especially someone I love."

"If you truly love her, then you will walk away now." Her eyes pleaded with me. "If you allow this relationship to continue, it will only make it that much harder for her down the road. There are other James, Laurents, and Victorias out there waiting for her just because she is with you. You wont be able to protect her from them just like you couldn't protect me. You know the consequences of her being around you. Just one drop of blood is all it would take for one of you to lose control. She may not be as lucky as I was. Do you want that for her?"

I had thought about everything Bella mentioned. They were all reasons why I shouldn't be with Jane. Yet, the energy and power she projected beckoned me to stay. There had been an immediate and total attraction the first time I watched her try to sneak into Mrs. Sims class; before her clean, sweet scent had time to drug me. I had tried to stay away because of the dangers, but something kept pushing us together again — like a magnet. Jane called it fate. I called it a curse.

I smiled to myself as I recalled some private memories: studying Venus, seeing her thrill at skating for the first time, our crazy what if scenarios, our first date, our first kiss and the kisses after that. A permanent sorrow weighed me down knowing I would never see her again. I would never forget a single detail of her face, her touch, her voice.

"Promise me you will tell her that I don't hate her." It was my turn to beg. "I don't want her blaming herself for my absence." She inclined her head in compliance. I strode to the door and paused with my hand on the handle. "Will you forgive me for the pain I unwillingly caused you twenty years ago? It was never my intention for you to suffer so."

"All is forgiven," she said with a gentle softness in her voice. "Had you'd granted me what I wanted, I wouldn't have had two beautiful children and an endearing husband whom I love with all my heart."

I left her bookstore without looking back. I left Fairbanks as fast as my feet could take me before I had a chance to change my mind.

When I arrived home, only my siblings were there waiting for me. Alice must've had a vision of my encounter with Bella. She was unable to contain herself when I walked through the front door.

"Bella is alive," she shrilled, grinning ear to ear. "I knew Victoria had lied to Irina. I would have known if something terrible had happened to her."

"And Jane is her daughter. How freaky is that?" Emmett grinned at me.

"I can't blame Bella for being angry," Alice said. "But I knew she would forgive you. She looked good."

"Can't anything be private," I roared. Everyone's smile vanished. "She did forgive me; however, she has requested that we leave North Pole. In particularly that I leave North Pole. She wasn't clear on how she felt about the whole family."

"You can't leave," Alice exclaimed with irritation. "Did you tell her about your feelings for Jane?"

"That's why I can't stay," I replied through clenched teeth. "Like I told you in the beginning, in the middle, and now the end. It would never work. I'll have the same problems with Jane as I did with Bella. There is no use in dragging it out. I've seen and heard the damage I did to Bella. I wont make the same mistake twice."

"But you are making the same mistake," she yelled in frustration. "It's like déjà vu. Jane is already in love with you. You leaving will break her heart."

"You don't understand. I'll end up doing that anyway, so why prolong it? Bella doesn't want me around her daughter. She has made a request for me to leave. The least I can do for the pain I've caused her is to comply."

Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett all looked at each other — unsure what to say.

Alice crossed her arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Very well." I felt as hollow as my voice sounded. I excused myself to my quarters while my family debated their actions below me.

Bella had made it easy for me; I didn't have to try and convince Jane that this was something I wanted. I wasn't sure I could have pulled it off again.

I started packing my books and music away. I was finished in a matter of minutes. I scanned the room making sure I wasn't leaving anything of value behind because I had no intention of coming back. My eyes caught something protruding behind my bookshelf. I pulled out the painting of Venus I had purchased from Mrs. Sims.

When I first saw it, I knew I had to have it. The goddess reminded me of Jane and I was the planet she was embracing. I had tried to create sulfuric air around me to keep her from getting too close — not just for her safety but for mine also. Yet she was able to break through and showed me that it was possible to love again.

My body slumped in despair as an inner torment began to gnaw at me. The last traces of my resistance disintegrated. This had been my last chance at love — at happiness. I never understood why I was spared from the clutches of death when I was seventeen, only to live such an empty, useless life afterward — a life I no longer wanted.