every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

December 27th

I'm dragged out of the house by all of my sisters as the day before winter break arrives- the day where we all split away from each other to conquer new heights and crazy quest. Lydia and Kitty were going to Switzerland with a friend and her parents; Jane was going to go up to mom's sisters house in London to work in the shop and I am going with Charlotte and Collin to Collin's parents house , my guess is because they sent us him, so mom is paying them back by sending me. So I am pulled out of the house 10 minutes earlier than usual, as if it will make the day go by any faster, to go to school and finish out the semester.

I yawn in the passenger's seat as I pull the dark gray, oversized, sweatshirt over my head, messing up my hair in the process. I groan and pull down the visor to look in the mirror. I touch up my eyeliner and then pull my hair up into a high pony tail. Jane laughs from her seat, while the twins bounce up in down from excitement in the backseat. Maybe for today, I could impersonate Little Bunny Foo Foo. I roll my eyes at them and lean back, shoving the visor back up into place.

After our last hour, I watch from the end of the hall, leaning up on the wall as Jane takes a stand and asks out Charlie- I stand away from them, probably a whole 20 feet away. I look up at the lights imbedded in the ceiling, fluorescent and bright- blinding. I look back down as black dots dance around my eyes and now Jane is walking toward me, hand over her mouth and her eyes, looking like she's about to cry. I wonder what I missed in the 30 seconds I looked away. When she reaches me, she thrusts the keys to her car in my hand- the sharpness cuts into my palm and as I look down, I see the bright red outline of the jagged edge.

I look up from my hand to see Jane's retreating form and to the other side Charlie is dragging a hand down his face, slumped against a set of lockers. What just happened? Darcy suddenly rounds the counter- of course he does- and walks over to him, placing his hand on his best friends shoulder. I watch them for a couple of seconds and then I run after my sister who is already slumped in the passenger seat, her head leaning against the window with redness surrounding her eyes. Shit. I round the car and slip into the front seat, turning the key and her car comes to life. The car ride home is quiet and awkward. I want to ask what happened but I didn't want to pressure her. I wanted to understand but I didn't want her to have to relive that pain. I opted out and said nothing- probably better anyway for us both.

December 31st

Now we were off and we were all leaving to different corners of England. I zip my suitcase shut and lug it down the staircase and out the front door. After loading it into my car as Charlotte shoves hers in also, I put Dad's cooler in the front seat as Charlotte loads it with snacks. Jane is going off to our aunts' house to spend time in London to get over Charlie and whatever happened there. She refused to tell me after locking herself in her room. All I could get out of her when I brought her food to her room was that he didn't think she cared as much as he did. Mary and Kitty are staying home, much to Kitty's horror while Lydia goes off to travel with one of her friends to Scotland. We all tried to get Papa to say no to it, they pressured me especially but he didn't want her around for break- said she talked too much and so he's sending her off to who knows where. I help Jane get her suitcase inside her car with her pillows and dads extra cooler for her snacks and drinks. I shut the door and see Charlotte fiddling with the radio, ready to set out.

"Go," Jane startles me, laying a hand on my shoulder. "I'll be okay." I look into her eyes, only to see heart break and that breaks me. I pull her into a hug, squeezing her tight with my head laying on her shoulder, her hair soft and in a braid.

"I wish you would tell me." I whisper only for her ears alone. She grasps my shoulders, holding me tight before pushing me away. She gives me one of her blinding smiles that doesn't reach her eyes.

"I'll be fine, Lizzie." She nudges my shoulder to my car. "Have fun." She nods her head, giving me that sister-knows-best-look. I give her a wave before walking over to my car. I climb inside and smile at Charlotte who talks animatedly about meeting Collin's parents and what they did on their date the previous night. To be honest, I've neglected my best friend- not only did I not even know she was dating Collin, but I thought Mary liked him. I had so much going on this semester and it threw me. I took off down the road toward the highway as I thought this over. So much more drama than I was used to. I had a boyfriend, I was disappointed by said boyfriend, dealing with Will on top of that and his bratty god-sister, watching Jane fall in love and now watching her wilt like a flower in the winter. So much for one peaceful semester and I just hope that it was over and done with. I don't think I could handle it anymore. I turn on my turn signal to turn onto the highway to get to Collin's parents house; Collin was driving separately.

Strange question, but what song(s) do you hear in your heads while reading this? Just wondering to help get my muse flowing!