All these long chapters inside Tosh's domain are going to end soon and we'll get back to good ole Skyrim... with a few twists...
to: Baby Fawn, Elisabeth Hollow, Krystylsky
Thanks for the appreciation! :D
to: RukiaoftheBloodMoon
Indeed he has, and more has yet to come, muahahahahahahaha
to: Valentine03
Good question, maybe, but I kind of was heading towards another type of relationship between the two... still... that's a pretty damn cool idea! And you never know ;P
Things looked cheery in the cozy woodhouse. I had gotten up from bed and was currently having tea and cookies at the kitchen table, sitting and chatting with the the goddess of love, Mara.
It was bliss. Somehow, Mara's warm attitude and funny stories (and excellent bakery) were distracting me from past events. I was chuckling just as if I had invited my best friends over to chat.
"So then Dibella looks at Zenithar and goes like, 'no way, you just have to change that outfit, you'll scare people off before you can get any trades done!' and Zenithar, pissed off, tells her that he traded that outfit from a mortal for a vast sum and is not about to throw it away. So Dibella starts laughing in his face and tells him he's a dumbass and that human is smarter than him…. You can guess what happened afterwards"
"Something like the Wall Street crash?" I said as a joke, completely unconvinced of it actually happening.
"Hmm yeah, that event from your world is similar… The entire of Nirn got into an economic depression for a week, until Dibella found a good set of outfits for Zenithar and yelled at him for being such a crybaby…"
I smiled sheepishly at her until I was interrupted by a swoosh of air coming from outside. Through the windows, I could see shades of golden wings on the swaying grass. I froze , bad memories and embarrassment coming back to me all at once. Mara smiled, as usual.
A minute later the main door opened to reveal Akatosh standing at the entrance, his hair and face looking a little messy and tired. He entered the house and sat on one of the kitchen chairs, grabbing a cookie from the bowl on the kitchen table. There was a moment of awkward silence, interrupted only by the god's munching.
Akatosh gave an expressionless stare to both me and Mara and said
"What? I was hungry"
Mara had a light hearted laugh while I was still frozen and unsure of what to think. As Tosh was distracted by savoring sugary goodness from Mara's cooking, the goddess of love got up from her chair and whispered in my ear:
"Keep an eye on him for me will you? My brother can be stupid, but he's a good spirit at heart and he's been lonely lately. He could use some company"
I stared at her, unbelieving as she exited the house and disappeared, leaving me alone do deal with this, not to mention telling me to keep an eye on a GOD of all things….
Curse you Mara
Akatosh had now finished his cookie and had his head perched on the palm of his right hand, a little tilted to the side, staring with a bored and troubled expression as if he wasn't sure what to do with me.
I felt the awkwardness increase, even though Tosh looked completely in his own element. I had to do something, tell him something…
Apologize
But without giving him the impression he was right in what he did, no sir. I had to apologize for what was wrong and claim what he deserved.
But my words wouldn't leave my mouth.
Come on Diana, speak, do it! Tell him! For god's sake… wait… screw the 'god' part…"
"I…I… Apologize!" I ended up saying stutteringly.
Oh my 'lord' that was pathetic…. Get a grip!
Meanwhile Tosh looked a little surprised, but I was too busy to notice his reaction.
"I'm sorry for blaming you for your son's mistakes! I shouldn't have been lashing at you like that, I had no right in that matter…" I said without even taking a single breath.
Tosh's expression turned into his signature grin, suddenly, his hair was looking way less messy than before… I was mentally sweating and staring right at his eyes, looking for a reaction.
His grin was as steady as ever as he replied "Yes, you had no right say such things, in my domain nonetheless…" I gasped, a little angry at his arrogance and a little scared
But his grin lowered and turned into a sincere, and pained, expression.
"Although, you were only saying the truth" he stated lowly.
What?
He continued
"I should have been a better god and a better father, so that none of this would have happened…"
He looked so arrogant just a couple of hours ago….
He stopped staring at the ground to meet my eyes
"I'm sorry Diana, you don't have to do anything for me or this world, you owe us nothing… in fact, I think we are the ones who owe you. I won't force you to take any decision… you can stay here as much as you like"
I dug deep into those mesmerizing blue and red orbs. I stood up from my chair and began pacing around the dining room, as if it helped to contain my nervousness and focus my thoughts.
The god was sincere.. the god wanted to help me… he had lowered his arrogant façade.. I felt a little sorry for him.. and yet I was angry… He knew I had almost no other chances unless I wanted to die…..
I turned towards him.
"How much can you send me back in time, can't you just send me back enough so I have the strength to counter the Draugr by myself, without killing the Dovahkin?"
The dragon god shook his head, resigned
"I thought of that already, to keep you here, outside the timeline, until we found a way to send you back, and then have you escape death. But there are a number of problems…"
Tosh entered a sort of explaining mode
"First, I only managed to drag you into this domain after I argued with death, who was about to claim your soul. You see, death is someone not even I can win an argument with. As long as you're here, you're safe, but since your death already exists as an event in the timeline, as soon as you get out, you're going to be claimed. Even if I send you back in time, you're still supposed to be dead, and she will come for you…"
I felt a cold shiver down my spine
"Second. My only chance to keep you alive then, is to completely alter the fabric of Nirn and rewind it. Now, as you know from Mara, given that most of my powers are sealed, I can't do that for more than five seconds at best. Five seconds before you died, you were almost in a state of unconsciousness and in no shape to defeat the Deathlord. No.. the only chance for your survival is for you to receive a power boost…"
I didn't like where this was going…
"Third. The 'Pathetic choice of a Dovahkin', as you called it, is indeed, quite pathetic in his current situation. I'm sure from your visions you can understand why. His ruthlessness would have been great to defeat a giant dragon, I suppose, but in your land it is not welcome. I've seen some of the weapons you have there. I don't need to see his future to know that if he keeps defying the law he will soon be alone against hundreds of men, armed with deadly weapons, and how do you think it will end for him? He will either become imprisoned for the rest of his life or die during the fight. Not to mention, while my domain does apparently exists outside Nirn's timeline, it doesn't mean time won't stop flowing in your world. I'm not the ruler of time in both universes after all… not sure you even have one, your world seems to be dominated by chance only…"
I nodded, swallowing down my anger. It was quite a desperate situation for me, but I wasn't going to lash out again…
"You can see why I asked you to take charge of things here. I must admit you even proved to handle yourself better than the other guy I chose. My son rallied me into a corner quite well. But I understand if you don't want any business with this, I'll do my best to help you out…"
This time I could perceive a hint of sarcasm from the dragon god, as if he knew I wasn't going to get out of his schemes no matter what. I tried to shrug it off, but it didn't stop me from shriveling my mind to find an alternative solution, not only to save myself, but to cancel that smirk from Tosh's face…
After another while of silence, I replied
"Before I decide anything, I need to ask some questions…"
Tosh smirked "Go on ahead.."
"Why did you create Alduin in the first place? Why tell him to destroy the world? I'm sure that was going to mess him up…."
Tosh looked annoyed "Am I not allowed to make children? And to answer your other question, sometimes the world requires destruction so it can be reborn. Alduin is no vicious creature, just an agent of change… "
"Sure.. and that's why he started this mess…"
The god sent me a glare but kept his quiet. I went on
"Why ask me to kill the Dovahkin, why not just wait for him to die?"
"Your powers will be stronger by doing the deed yourself. Also, I cannot interfere with your world, only you can get a grip on him by using your dimensional link. And who knows how much it will take before he dies by natural causes… you might grow old by then! I say get done with it now…"
Ok, I was getting angry again…
"You may be a god and look down on humans but I am not! How can I decide to kill someone like this, and for what!? For power? for my own life being spared? I can't do it! I'm not a murderer!"
"And yet you did so wonderfully in Helgen…." Tosh said dreamily, trying to provoke me
"That was different! I was protecting myself! That was…. It was different…."
I crumbled down, sitting on a nearby armchair, reflecting on the truth of those words, on my actions, my anger dissipating…
"It wasn't different. It was your life for their life, and you were worthier than them. Four words: Survival of the Fittest. Even your world has the same laws..."
"I wasn't worthier than them! I wasn't! They didn't deserve death , nobody deserves death!"
"And yet you killed them"
I clenched my teeth as I tried to look for a way to beat the god's circular logic… Found it
"Those people attacked me! They attacked me and wanted to kill me! It was defense! The guy in my world though, he's not trying to kill me! I would murder him in cold blood, and I can't do that!..."
My voice became broken
"….I can't decide who lives or dies like that…."
Tosh weighted my words and his arrogance vanished, substituted by understanding and… pain? But he still had determination in his eyes, he wasn't going to let go…
"Maybe…. But what do you think he would do if he had the same choice, given his track record…."
I gulped as I realized I would have been dead already
"But I am not him! You said it yourself, and on a side note, strength and ruthlessness are useless traits unless you have the brains to back them up, make a better choice next time will you?" I said angrily.
The dragon god smirked
"I am already aware I made a bad choice, you couldn't stop yelling about it after you had that little mental breakdown of yours" He said mockingly, enjoying every second of me getting riled up.
"Well excuse me if I just died, and what has that to do with anything?!"
"Nothing… just noticing how both you and the other guy have such a short temper…."
"STOP COMPARING ME TO HIM!"
Tosh smiled
"So you admit you dislike him!"
I blinked. So that's where he wanted to get with this…
"Yes, he sent my friend to the hospital and killed people, of course I don't like him! Doesn't mean I want to kill him though!"
"And what if you saved lives by killing him?! He's probably going to kill more…"
I stuttered.. It was pretty harsh to see him kill that cop …
"…Wha….What do you mean?"
"I'm sure you know what I mean. As a matter of fact, he's about to kill someone very soon.."
"And how do you know? You can't see my world's time!"
"Maybe, but I have enough experience to predict things… and I can see the present"
I quieted down. I wasn't sure what to say. I would be killing to protect, but it still was murder in cold blood.
The thought made me sick…
"Let me show you"
The house , prairie, furniture, everything vanished and reformed. Suddenly it was nighttime. We were in the imperial forum ruins, on top of the hill, right next to the cliff I remembered from before, the one I used to visit with my friends. The nightscape was beautiful…
"….Home…." I whispered