"Rey?"
She hears someone call her name from far off. It's a man's voice. She doesn't recognize it.
"Can you hear me?" The man is closer now. It sounds like he's right beside her. "Open your eyes if you can hear me."
Rey takes inventory. Her head aches. Her ears ring. Everything hurts. Same old, same old. She's getting used to feeling this awful. They're waking her up for more drugs again, aren't they? Well, fuck them.
Rey keeps her eyes shut.
The man's voice speaks again. "Bring the droid. Give her a little more stim."
There's a mechanical hum as something moves closer. Oh, Gods, it's that droid again. The one with the needles to stick in her arms. The hum gets closer and louder and Rey has had enough.
Her eyes pop open and her right arm jerks up. Wait-what? She's not restrained? Her eyes can't quite focus on the medical droid hovering near her arm, but her mind does. She hurls it across the room with the Force to smash loudly into the far wall.
The Force never fails Rey when she is desperate.
The people in the room are not expecting this and Rey thinks at long last this is her chance. She heaves herself off the gurney and onto shaky legs. Her vision focuses and now Rey can see that they have moved her to a new cell. It's another small room with medical equipment and a gurney. There's even a new shift of interrogators waiting to fire more questions at her. An old man in a light colored uniform stands off to the side and a younger man and woman dressed in medic's scrubs hover near the gurney. The woman comes rushing at her and Rey sends her into the wall hard with the Force.
"Didn't the Jedi warn you about me?" Rey sneers but it comes out as one long slur.
She stumbles headlong for the door but the male medic gets there first to slam the lock on the control panel. Rey is unstable on her feet and propelling herself mostly by momentum. She tries to stop but loses her balance to fall right into the man's arms.
"Let me help you. You need to rest." The medic holds her firmly to walk her back to that damn gurney. Rey fights him as best as she can. It's a losing battle, for she has no coordination and little strength. She ends up back on the gurney despite her best efforts.
"I'm not telling you anything!" This time her voice comes out clearly. Rey is panting from the exertion and feeling utterly defeated. But she'll be damned if she'll let her enemies see that. "Go ahead, keep drugging me. All you're doing is giving me a better buzz."
The old man across the room speaks. His voice is deep, calm and soothing. "You are safe now. We're the good guys, Rey."
"Oh, so we're back to good cop, bad cop again? Nice. Skywalker already gave me his good cop routine." She eyes the old officer with withering disdain. He must be the new interrogator. "Trust me, the Jedi's a lot more persuasive than you are, old man."
He speaks again. "You are safe now, Rey. You are home now. With your family."
"Shut up, old man!" Rey snaps at him. "That speech is getting old. Skywalker already gave me the hard sell on coming home to the Resistance. That man and his sister are NOT my family!"
Again comes that deep, calm and soothing voice. "Rey, this is not the Resistance. You are safe on the First Order star destroyer Finalizer. You were rescued by the Knights of Ren five days ago."
"Don't fuck with me!" Rey is wary for more tricks. That's their goal—to take advantage of her confused mental state, earn her trust and get her talking. "If this is the Order then where is my husband? Where is my son?" The old man hesitates and Rey pounces. "You're lying! You've drugged me up and you know I'm confused and you're tricking me. And—and-"
"Come." The new interrogator steps forward and holds out his hand. Rey hesitates a moment, then takes it. Leaning heavily on the old man's arm, Rey walks with him out of the cell and into a busy medical center. She looks around.
"Oh," is all Rey can think to say.
This is the First Order. Everywhere on uniforms and equipment there is the medallion of the Order. There's a stormtrooper with his helmet off sitting at his injured buddy's bedside. There are a few officers garbed in black milling around. There's even a small makeshift shrine to General Hux with lit candles.
"Oh," Rey says again.
The old officer too repeats his earlier words as he slowly walks her back to the small room. "This is not the Resistance. You are safe on the First Order star destroyer Finalizer. You were rescued by the Knights of Ren five days ago." He dismisses the other two medics and they are alone together. He seats Rey back on the gurney.
Rey searches the grizzled face of the old man. He looks to be about the same age as Milo, maybe even older. A veteran of the Empire probably. The old man meets her eyes and holds her gaze.
"I'm safe?" she whispers. She needs to hear it again to believe it. Her mind is so confused. "I'm really safe here? You are not going to hurt me?"
"Yes. You are safe, Rey." He nods encouragingly to her. "I am Chief Healer Smath. I command the medical team on the Finalizer and for the rest of the Order. I have been personally overseeing your recovery. You are in withdrawal from the interrogation drugs the Resistance used on you. You spent five days in sedation and—"
"I'm pregnant!" Rey blurts it out. She can tell her secret now. This man is a healer and he can help her. "I'm pregnant. My husband doesn't know yet."
"He knows, Rey." The chief healer reaches to take her hand in his and that simple gesture tells Rey that her worst fears have come to pass. He looks down for a moment before he continues. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this—"
The healer keeps talking but Rey stops listening after the first few sentences. She doesn't really want to know any more. She knows all she needs to know.
The child is lost.
Rey can't process this news now. Not like this with her head splitting and a strange man holding her hand.
Not alone.
She has woken up from one nightmare into another. And there is only one person who can comfort her now. "Where is my son?" Rey interrupts. Right now, more than anything, she needs to hug the child she has that lives. To feel small arms around her calling her Mommy. "I want to see my son. Please, I need to see my son." All her bravado is gone and Rey is begging now. Clutching at the healer's sleeves in her earnestness. She needs to see for herself that Sheev is alive and well.
"Of course." The chief healer nods his understanding. "We will have the boy brought to you at once. Your son is most anxious to see you."
"And my husband? Where is my husband? I want to see my husband." She never even got a chance to tell Kylo that she was pregnant. She had been looking forward to telling him that she was pregnant.
The old man pats her hand. "We will let him know that you are awake."
Old Milo calls him on his absence from the medibay. Deft as always with his criticism, the keeper casually inquires whether Kylo plans to drop by to visit Rey today. There's no challenge in the keeper's mild tone but Kylo hears the reprimand loud and clear.
"Is she asking for me?" Kylo's eyes narrow behind his mask, considering.
"I know Rey would love to see you." Milo skirts a direct response. Which tells him no.
Good. No, not good. Not exactly.
"She's doing much better, Ren," Milo tells him, encouraged. "Now all the medics are concerned about is getting her to eat. They will release her once they are satisfied that she's eating enough."
Kylo knows this, of course. The chief healer sends him updates on Rey's condition three times a day. "Rey never eats. Tell them that." Kylo thinks for a moment. "Tell them to get her those short rations she likes to eat—you know, the kind with the blue muffin? And send her salt. Tell them she snacks on salt." None of this would be on the standard menu for an underweight invalid, Kylo suspects. But it's comfort food for his wife. He's seen his formerly starved wife lick salt from her hand the way Sheev gobbles candy.
"Of course." Milo dutifully nods but Kylo can tell that the old man is not satisfied with his response.
So he tells Milo that he wants Rey to have plenty of time to focus on Sheev. He won't monopolize her after Sheev has pined for so long. And when Milo still seems unconvinced, Kylo falls back on his standby excuse that duty calls. The Order is keen to track down the remaining Resistance fighters while they are on the run without a base to use to regroup. Already, he is urgently needed on the bridge.
His old keeper shoots him a look of reproach that only a retainer of his long standing would dare risk.
Two days later, Milo gets his way. For ironically, the duty that is Kylo's pretext for staying away is what ultimately drags him back to Rey's bedside.
Even for a civilian, there are First Order protocols to be observed for a former captive. But standard procedure be damned. Kylo will not let the First Order debrief Rey. But he will allow witnesses to be present when he asks Rey the one question he wants to know. So two intel officers shuffle nervously into the medibay behind him.
Actually, Kylo is glad of their attendance. The official witnesses will force the meeting to be detached and formal. He's not ready for a personal conversation yet. He's not ready for emotions. His or hers. So he will keep this interview short and business-like. And maybe tomorrow he will see her privately.
Rey knows to expect them, and he finds her sitting up and dressed, legs dangling over the side of the gurney. She's wearing some stiff grey canvas coveralls that look like they belong on a greasy hangar mechanic and not the wife of Kylo Ren. Some part of him is surprised and pleased to see her in any garb of the First Order. But couldn't Milo manage to find her a female officer's uniform at least? Dressed like that, she's among the lowly herd of techs that fills the Finalizer. Rey looks the part of the anonymous everyman/everywoman of the First Order.
She does have some color in her cheeks today, and that's a definite improvement from before. But overall, Rey looks just terrible. There are deep purple shadows underneath her bloodshot eyes. Has Rey been crying or are those red eyes from the drugs? He notices that the collarbone that shows at the open neck of her jumpsuit juts out in a way that is sort of unpleasant to look at. His Rey needs to eat a dozen blue ration muffins. Daily.
Rey is oblivious to his inspection. It's yet another benefit of the mask. She nods pleasantly to the two men as they step forward, but she smiles up at him. It's a girlish, easy smile.
He sucks in a breath. He has missed that smile. He's Kylo Ren, and he can count on one hand the number of people who smile when he walks through the door. And no one smiles at him like Rey.
He's glad now for the mask that conceals the flush that surely fills his face. She doesn't know it, but he's grinning back at her. Oh, how he has missed his Rey. It feels good just to be in the same room with her. Suddenly, he's glad that he stepped in to do this interview himself.
For once, Kylo lets his flunkies lead. It allows him to keep covertly staring at Rey. "Ma'am . . . Missus . . . er . . . ." The more senior of the intel officers is stuttering and at a loss for how to address the civilian woman sitting before him.
"Lady Ren," Kylo corrects impatiently.
"Lady Ren, we have a few—"
"One," Kylo corrects again.
"—question about your imprisonment with the Resistance. Please be as honest and detailed as possible. Even small recollections could be of use to us."
Rey nods. The intel officer looks back to Kylo expectantly.
That's his cue. "How did they learn that you are my wife?"
Rey answers the only two words he was not expecting to hear. "Luke Skywalker."
The senior officer's jaw hangs open at mention of the number one enemy of the First Order. The junior officer at his side begins furiously fumbling with his datapad.
"Luke Skywalker paid me a visit," Rey explains. She looks up sheepishly at him. "I told him that we are married."
"Skywalker," Kylo breathes out the name with fierce hatred, and his fists clench. "Skywalker found you. How?"
Rey ignores the intel officers. She speaks only to him, as if they are the only two people in the room. "He showed up at the base and recognized me in the Force. From the time we met on D'Qar with Sheev. Until then, the Resistance had no idea who I was. Skywalker even said that they were close to releasing me in a prisoner exchange until he showed up and recognized me."
"So our officers did not betray you? It was all Skywalker?"
Rey nods. "Skywalker told me that General Hux and the others did not betray me, Kylo. He said that the Resistance was so focused on them, that no one bothered with me. And that fits with what happened."
The senior intel officer finds his tongue. "You met Luke Skywalker?" They both ignore him.
"It was the same pitch as before," Rey tells him. "Skywalker wanted me to defect to the Resistance. If I talked, they would set me free but I'd have to stay with them."
"Before?" The senior intel officer sputters and again they ignore him.
Rey looks down and bites her lip. "He wants to separate us," she half whispers. She's blushing now and she stammers out, "Because I enable you. Skywalker knows you are drawn to the Light . . . er . . . my Light."
How the fuck had Skywalker figured that out? The Jedi has lived as a virtual eunuch for his entire adult life. Kylo wishes he could read Rey's thoughts to learn exactly what was said between her and his uncle. But Rey's mind is far too fragile for that just now. Kylo won't risk it. The healers have stressed to him how delicate her mental state is currently. He's not supposed to upset her or ask hard questions.
"You weren't drugged when you first spoke to Skywalker, were you?" Kylo says this through clenched teeth and with clenched fists. Now that he is piecing together the sequence of events, Kylo hates his uncle more than ever. Fuck . . . he knows where this is leading.
"No, they didn't drug me until after I met with Skywalker. Not until after I refused his offer to defect. Skywalker warned me that he would tell the Resistance who I was. And that they would become interested in me." Rey's face darkens. "I knew what was coming." His wife looks straight at him through the mask. "I would not betray you, Kylo. I would not leave you and Sheev."
Kylo nods at this declaration of fidelity. He feels like a complete ass for ever doubting his Rey.
"When?" he growls. Already, he can feel his anger rising. "When did they start drugging you. How much longer after your conversation with Skywalker?"
Rey considers. "A couple of hours maybe? It wasn't even a full day later. First they had some committee vote to decide what to do with me."
Yes, of course they would have had a committee. His fucking mother loves committees. It's a convenient way to spread responsibility to others and minimize her own culpability.
"Skywalker told me he voted against my interrogation." Rey says this is a small voice. "He didn't tell me how your m-General Organa voted."
Enraged now, Kylo sums up for Rey what she evidently could not comprehend in her drugged state. He's heedless of the two intel officers in the room now. And he shouting. "Skywalker intentionally killed our child! Hours after he leaves your cell they start drugging you to kill the baby they know you won't give to the Jedi. Because you won't defect."
Rey looks up sharply, defensive and annoyed. "I didn't tell him I was pregnant. I'm not that stupid."
"You didn't have to tell him! He knew! He's Luke Skywalker! He can feel the Light in the Force halfway across the galaxy." She's squirming now and he can tell that Rey is very uncomfortable with this conversation. Oh, Gods, does she think he's blaming her for the baby? He's not blaming her. Kylo rushes to explain. "The Jedi would sense the child just standing next to you."
A lone tear trickles down the inner corner of her eye and Rey brushes at it furiously. She looks up horrified. Fuck. They warned him not to upset her.
Rey's voice is shaky now. "Skywalker did say that my Force imprint was larger . . . he asked if I had been training. I told him no, but I don't think he believed me. I have been doing a lot of healing work with the holochrons. Would that change my imprint?"
Why are they having this conversation? It's so obvious to him that Skywalker knew that Rey was pregnant from the moment he met her. "It was larger because of the baby. The baby had the Force, Rey." Kylo sounds impatient and exasperated even to his own ears.
"You don't know that! I was early on, Kylo. I'm not even sure how many weeks." Oh, Gods, Rey does think he's blaming her. She looks agitated. Keeps furiously pushing her hair back behind her ear.
"Twelve weeks, Rey. The baby was a little over twelve weeks when we rescued you." Kylo says this bitterly because damn it hurts to even speak aloud about his baby the Jedi killed. Another Skywalker killed by one of their own.
Rey processes this news a moment and then she leaps down from the gurney she's sitting on. Then she's shouting up in his mask. "You think I should have told them, don't you? That I should have told them that I was pregnant so they wouldn't interrogate me! So they would try to keep me long enough so they could steal the child. I'd give birth and then they would kill me-just like your grandmother!" Rey is screaming at him now. "They already tried to steal Sheev and they would have stolen this baby too if they could! I wasn't going to let that happen, Kylo!"
"Rey—" he tries to break in. This interview is spiraling out of control. Through the Force, he can feel Rey's pent up emotions rushing out. It's the trauma of her capture, her imprisonment and her torture rising to the surface. And the aching hurt from the loss of their child. Sith that he is, Kylo feeds off her intense feelings and he too can feel his temper boiling over. So he struggles not to match her tone and volume. To speak quietly and to soothe. The healers have warned him not to upset her.
"It wouldn't have mattered if you had told them. Skywalker already knew. That's why they gave you far more drugs than is typical. They clearly wanted to kill—"
Rey cuts him off with sweep of her hand. It's something only his Master can do. "Better that our baby die than be raised a Jedi to one day kill his brother or to kill you! I will not let any son of mine be a pawn of the Jedi in your family's never-ending Force war!"
"It was a girl, Rey," Kylo tells her softly. "It was a girl. Our daughter is dead and the Resistance killed her."
His words instantly quell her anger. Rey looks up at him, stricken. "D-d-daughter?" She backs away from him to stumble up against the gurney. "D-d-daughter?"
His wife looks utterly destroyed by this news. It's as if this piece of information suddenly has made the loss very real for her. His poor, valiant Rey who would endure anything for her family looks crushed. And in that moment, all he wants to do is gather her in his arms to comfort her and let her cry to her heart's content. But he allowed in those fucking intel officers so they have an audience and he can do nothing.
So Kylo just nods to confirm. "It was a girl, Rey. Our baby girl. Our Padme."
Rey blinks at him in silence for an eternity. And then the tears that had threatened before begin to pour down her cheeks. Rey doesn't make a sound. But her Force imprint is screaming her pain all around him. Raw and unabashedly Dark.
Hell has a fury greater than a woman scorned—it is the wrath of an aggrieved and bereft mother. This is the flip side of nature's instinct born into every mother to protect her young. It is the dark primal impulse for vengeance against anyone who would dare to hurt her child.
Kylo lets her pain wash over him and feed his own intensity. He cannot change the past, but he can give his wife retribution. He vows, "I will destroy Skywalker. There won't be enough left of him to be a Force ghost. I promise to kill him for you, Rey. For this and for all of his treachery. No one who hurts our family will live to tell of it."
Rey nods. Her eyes are hard.
"Skywalker will never separate us, Rey. No one will ever take you away from me again. Ever."
Rey nods again. She is trembling, he sees.
But she is also unconvinced. "Can I trust that promise, Kylo?" There is an ugly edge to her voice. "Can I? Because you left me pregnant and alone for weeks with the Resistance. At the mercy of your worst enemies! Where you knew they would consider me a traitor!" She looks him up and down, coldly. Rey's blinding rage has found a focus now, and it is him. "Where the fuck were you, Kylo? Too busy building your empire to spare a few stormtroopers and a couple knights to retrieve your wife? I know why you didn't rescue Hux but why the Hell didn't you come for me?"
"Rey, I—" He falters. How do you explain to your tortured wife that you are a Sith and, yes, building your empire does take precedence over her rescue. At least, that's how it has to look to your Master. But that's not really how it was. That was never how it was. You were sleepless and worried sick and missing her the whole endless time she was gone.
Rey is just warming up. "Skywalker and his sister are lifelong fanatics—I see that. Raised to kill their father and destroy his empire. And now they are trying to keep you from rebuilding the empire. Trying to steal our children and end our marriage, just like the Jedi did to their own parents. But you are as bad as they are, Kylo Ren! Unable to put aside your ambitions when I needed you most! When is either side of your clan going to realize that family matters more than politics? More than the Force? More than war? What the fuck is wrong with your family?"
Only his Master gets to speak to him like this. But he stands there now and takes it from Rey too. Before witnesses.
"It's not just me and the baby-how many more people in this galaxy have to suffer and die? You need to end this war, Kylo. Soon! Sheev and I will never be safe while Skywalker lives and this war rages on."
Rey pauses a moment to take a breath and Kylo says nothing. There is nothing he can say to make this better. What's done is done.
She eyes him a long moment, looking disappointed by his lack of rebuttal.
Rey breaks the silence and her voice is low now. Bitter. "Where were you, Kylo? It took them weeks to discover who I was and if you had rescued me sooner our d-d-daughter," Rey stumbles over this word, "would still be alive."
It's a low blow and Kylo doesn't want to play the blame game. It won't bring back their dead baby. Nothing will. And has Rey forgotten that they have an audience?
Fuck— this is the farthest thing from the short, easy discussion he had intended. And this ugly scene is exactly why he has been avoiding Rey. Kylo doesn't want to talk about this—any of it. Because when he thinks about her torture, he thinks about the baby. And when he thinks about the baby, he thinks of her bleeding in the hangar bay and then he can't help but think about the Starkiller. It's all one big jumble of pain and confusion and he doesn't have time to sort it all out and and conquer the galaxy ASAP.
"Skywalker and the Resistance are responsible for killing our child. Not you. Not me." He announces this like it's an order. "We are done, Rey." This conversation is over. Now.
Rey nods her agreement. She looks almost relieved to end this discussion.
And it truly is ended, and not deferred. This is the only time that they ever speak of the lost baby. Padme Ren is added to the list of Things We Don't Talk About.
Now what? Kylo follows Rey's gaze to the two intel officers who look on in terrified fascination. What to do about them? He could erase their minds but really, it would be best if they died after witnessing such an intimate scene. Plus, it would feel good to kill someone just to vent the frustration that is boiling within him now. Kylo's sword leaps into his hand to ignite when Rey stops him. She knows what he's going to do.
"No, don't. Please, Kylo. Don't." He refrains, wondering how Rey plans to salvage the situation. "Turn it off," she instructs and he hesitates, but then complies. If he can do nothing else for Rey, he will do this.
Rey turns her attention back to the officers who now cringe against the far wall of the room. They are both wide eyed with fear.
"You," she nods to the junior officer. "You are writing a report, yes?"
He nods nervously.
"Hux and the others did not talk. Put that in your report."
He nods again.
"This was General Hux's ship, right?"
The officers nod in unison.
"Tell the crew that their leader went to his death bravely and loyal to the First Order. I was there. No one begged, no one cried. Hux didn't even flinch. Your general stared them down as they shot him to death. Let his courage be an inspiration to his crew."
"Yes, ma'am." They reply in unison.
"And if you would please," Rey continues, choosing her words carefully. She looks grave, but she's composed now. "As a personal favor to myself and to my husband, please leave mention of the child out of your report. It is not of any strategic importance. And it would comfort me to know that our loss will be kept private." She wipes at a lingering tear. "As you have seen, this loss is very painful to us and still very fresh. Please accept my apologies if this interview has made you uncomfortable. In our grief, we forgot that we had an audience."
"Yes, ma'am." In unison.
"My husband and I are trusting you to be discrete in this personal matter and to keep our confidences. Can you do that?"
"Yes, ma'am." Emphatically and in unison.
"Thank you." Rey nods. "Have you anything further for them?" Rey looks to him and Kylo replies no. The men are dismissed.
He and Rey are alone now.
He wants to rip off his mask and take her in his arms and hold her as she cries. To tell her that he did everything he could to get her back as soon as possible but his hands were tied. That he meant what he said and no one will ever take Rey from him again. That they will have another baby. Lots more babies—as many as Rey wants. That he will do anything and everything to make this up to her.
But the square of her shoulders and the set of her jaw don't look very welcoming right now.
So Kylo just stands there and offers up lamely, "Thank you for concluding that meeting. It was neatly done."
His praise is sincere. Kylo knows that letting those officers live will stoke the rumor mill on the Finalizer, and maybe that's not a bad thing. Nothing stays secret on his ship for long. Soon, his crew will be buzzing about how the long-suffering Lady Ren had intervened with her husband for mercy before he went on one of his violent rampages. About how Lady Ren had admired and praised the Martyr Hux. And about how Lady Ren herself had courageously confronted the villain Skywalker. Maybe even how Lady Ren had sworn like a sailor in her fancy accent as she had dressed down her husband for waiting too long to rescue her. And then his crew will know that Ren's lady is as fierce as he is. That he and his wife are a matched pair.
Kylo has watched Rey play the Lady of the Castle many times before. But watching her today is even more impressive. Weakened in body and spirit, his wife held strong nonetheless. Her inner strength is for certain a legacy of Jakku. And her grace and poise were honed with Milo at Bast Castle. But just now watching her handle the intel officers, Kylo wonders if her grave dignity is a remnant of the Resistance prison cell. Where even Luke Skywalker himself couldn't break her.
Rey will be an excellent Empress. He doesn't deserve her. She's far too good for him.
And thank goodness she is his wife and ally, and not his adversary. His wife would surely have defeated him were she Jedi.
Rey is still eyeing him hostilely. Like she's ready to resume the fight at the slightest provocation. "You should go."
He nods and agrees. "I should go." He doesn't really want to go. He says it mostly to end the conflict. He was never supposed to upset her in the first place.
But Kylo hesitates. They have been separated for just over eight weeks, but with the gulf between them now it might as well have been a year. Of all the times he has pictured this reunion with Rey, he never imagined a bitter screaming match and tears over their dead baby. He sighs and yanks off his helmet. Just for a moment, he wants to look on Rey with his own eyes again.
Five days of happiness together—that's all they had before the Resistance took her and ruined everything.
Rey is looking at him impatiently. "Well, go!" she snaps.
Kylo nods again. He jams back on his helmet, turns and stalks back to the bridge.