Chapter Twenty Five
He fell asleep during the third movie, one of which he couldn't remember a thing, owing that it was Donna who had picked it out and he fell asleep before it began rolling. She hadn't seemed too upset about it though. She woke him up only when the movie had ended and urged him to sleep a bit more in his bed.
He had mumbled at her to go away, he was comfortable where he was, and she had.
He regretted that now, a good 3 hours later, since his neck was rather stiff and sore, but Donna and Wilf seemed pleased that he had at least watched two movies with them, and had enjoyed them too.
Both of them were still up and chatting in quiet voices nearby. He couldn't really hear what they were saying, but the sleep had been good again, and he felt like he should join them. The problem was he was afraid to move, since he found his neck, shoulders and upper back stiff and sore from the awkward position he had gone to sleep in.
"Ow. Donna, why didn't you get me to bed? I feel like I've been rolled under a truck or something."
"Tried, you wouldn't budge. Don't go blaming me for whatever aches and pains you're in, Spaceman."
He scowled. "Could you help me up at least? My body has seized and doesn't want to move too well. That'll teach me to sleep like this. Never again I tell you, never again."
"Until next time, Doctor," Wilf joined in, earning a chuckle and a pat on the shoulder from Donna.
He grunted, but grinned. "Yeah. Probably."
He was helped into a better seating position, but he found that he wasn't moving any further than that for the time being. "I could really use someone else's hands now. My arms don't want to move..."
He tensed, which didn't help, when a pair of hands landed on his shoulders. "It's me. You don't have to go all weird on me. Just trying to get the kinks out, alright?"
He tried to relax, but he couldn't see Donna, and she moved his arm back and it hurt, he shrieked out loud. "Let go of me! Get off!"
He could hear the loud sigh as Donna moved so she was sitting next to him. "Better?"
"You hurt me! And no! Now I am in more pain than I started in."
She looked at him and frowned. "Sorry. I made you remember, didn't I? It's your shoulders."
He grimaced. "No! It just hurt like hell. You moved my arm the wrong way."
"Yeah, well, sorry for that too, then. Come on. Want me to try again? I'll be gentle."
"No. I'll just have to live with it. It'll go away eventually."
She nodded and got up, stretching. "Well, suppose that's good. It's really late, and since we're all in here anyway, no point in going back outside to sleep. So, I'm going to bed. Night Doctor, night gramps!"
"Night," both he and Wilf said at the same time and watched as Donna walked towards the door. The only thing that gave away that Donna was really tired and doing what she said was her yawning every now and then on her way to the door.
He turned to Wilf and grimaced again. "Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin this outing for anyone. Guess I'm still a little jumpy. Nothing like before though. Thank god for that."
Wilf chuckled and patted him on the hand. "You haven't ruined everything. I live in a house with Donna and Sylvia. Believe me, they get at each other's throats a lot more than that yelling match you two had earlier on. You made up, which is more than I can say for Donna and Sylvia. My girls don't get along very well sometimes."
He grinned at that. It wasn't very funny, but he could tell the truth in that. "I noticed that, yeah. And Donna mentioned it. I don't think she's very happy with me at the moment. Sylvia that is, not Donna. Mothers never seem to like me."
"Not even your own?"
He blinked and laughed. "Oh, no, I meant lately, since I started meeting the family. I don't even know why I started doing that. Martha and Donna keep on saying it's because I'm lonely. That one's pretty much a given, but I don't think meeting my travelling companions' mothers will help with that."
"You talk like you will always be lonely."
Sighing, he shook his head. "I don't know about always being lonely. It feels like it though. I'm alone, I'm lonely. I'm sick of it." He probably would have said more if he wasn't interrupted by Wilf yawning. He grinned and shook his head. "Sorry. I don't need as much sleep as a human would. I keep forgetting that while I have slept you haven't. Go to bed. The TARDIS will make sure your room is opposite this room. Get some rest."
He got another pat on the leg, before Wilf got up, stretched and smiled at him. "Your ship is amazing, just so you know. Night Doctor."
"Night Wilf."
He watched as Wilf walked out of the room and was left on his own. He felt like the inside of the TARDIS was bigger and emptier than it normally was and shook his head to get rid of unwanted thoughts. It sent a bit of pain through his head and neck, but not as bad as before.
Rubbing his neck and shoulders for a bit, he got up to his feet and headed off to his bedroom afterwards. He wasn't tired, so didn't go to his bed. Instead, he went over to one of the desks in his room, where the pieces of a little gizmo he was working on were scattered.
He hoped he could get it working, mainly because it might get Donna to stop hounding him about her hair getting all frizzy by drying naturally.
Yes, it was for her. Yes, it was a nice new hair dryer, since her own broke not too long after she joined him. Yes, he meant it to be a surprise.
He just hoped it worked well when it was finished.
He had only gotten around to getting all the parts needed sorted out and in his room, before Midnight. After that planet, he hadn't been feeling good enough to do much of anything. Now though, now he was bored. Now he felt like doing something. Now, he decided, he felt a lot better.
Whatever type of depressive mood he had fallen into was lifting, and he felt happy, knowing he was doing something that would please his friend and companion. He was happy right then to be in a mood to be productive at all. It felt good to sift through the components needed, and picked out a few to start working on the hair dryer.
He did the small fiddly parts first, and he stopped when the TARDIS told him that Donna was stirring. He quickly hid the blueprint he had drawn out, but didn't bother putting anything else away. Right now it looked nothing like what it would be when it was finished, so he didn't feel any need. He could say it was anything, if Donna asked.
She stumbled into his room, automatically looking to his bed when she entered, before she spotted him and smiling in his direction. "Morning. What are you doing?"
"Just tinkering. Spare parts. I was bored and didn't need any more sleep. It kept me occupied."
She nodded and smiled more readily, more real. "It's good to see you doing something so normal for you. I've gotten used to you being in bed."
He scrunched up his nose at that. "Have I really been that bad? I'm not really good company sometimes. I think I almost drove Martha mad because of my moods."
"No you didn't. Martha's good. She's happy. She also has that great man of hers. She wouldn't have even met him if it weren't for you."
He grinned slightly. "Yeah. Suppose some good things can come from a very bad situation. Still, I feel a bit jealous of her. She got someone, and for that to happen, I had to lose someone."
"You're just going to end up depressing yourself further if you keep talking that way."
He shook his head. "Nah. Just a fact. Martha never would have met Tom if it wasn't for the Master. And he was shot and killed because he didn't want to spend time with me. Stubborn bloody fool. He did that just to upset me too. I just wish I knew why he hated me so much. We used to be best friends."
Donna walked over to him and hugged him from behind. "You keep piling more problems onto your shoulders and you won't be able to walk straight any longer, and then where will you be?"
"A nursing home?" he replied with a snort of laughter, before shaking his head. "I just needed a bit of a break. I feel pretty good right now. So! After we drop off your grandfather, where do you think we should go? I could take you to some planet that has some great shopping for you to buy some things. Or, maybe we could watch a meteor shower. They're rather pretty. I think you'd like it."
She smiled at him and shrugged. "Sure, both sound good. I could buy more clothes to pile onto what I already have. Hah! Buy an alien gift for my mum to see how bad she flips out over it."
They both had a laugh at that one. "Aww, Donna, has anyone ever told you that you can be wicked when you feel like it."
"Yeah, you."
"Well, if you really want to, I'll help pick out something so alien she won't know what to do with it."
"Hah! Better yet if it was something so mundane. Like that toaster, before you got one I could use."
He grinned. "I remember that. Old one blew up though. It was old, past its time. Amazing it lasted as long as it did really. Ah well, a toaster it could be, sure."
"Yeah," Donna replied, squeezing his shoulders a bit before letting go of him. "Well, I'll go get dressed then. Meet you in the console room when you're ready."
Nodding, he got up, had a quick shower, and dressed as quick as he could. Blue suit today, he thought, before admiring himself in his mirror. Well, off to Earth again, and then to get this present for Sylvia. Or, even better yet, do it the other way around.
He bounded out of his bedroom and into the console room and waited impatiently for the other two. He wanted them to know of his plans to reverse order a bit. It was only fair to Wilf if he met some real life alien-like aliens. For that, he really didn't count. He could well and truly get by with people thinking he was human.
Donna had told him of Wilf's love of the stars and planets of his own solar system. So, stick with the same place in space, but another planet. Which one though? Hmm, maybe one of the moons? He'll just wait for Wilf.
Wilf, who just happened to come into the room, looking all ready to go home. Telescope in hand, and blanket tucked under an arm, Wilf looked happier than he had ever seen the man. And all he'd done was drop him on an uninhabited planet and said it was alien!
"Wilf, which planet would you like to visit most? I feel like I've been ripping you off or something, taking you somewhere without intelligent alien life."
He was given a look like he was out of his mind. Before Wilf smiled and shook his head. "What you've already shown me is plenty enough, Doctor. I never would have seen that without you. If I ever want to go anywhere else, I'll give you a call. I notice you've got a phone on here." Wilf patted the console, and the TARDIS hummed her pleasure at that move.
The Doctor grinned and nodded. "You want to go home for a bit. I can understand that."
Wilf nodded. "It's great and all, it really is. But it's not me that should be out here. Let Donna do the living. I've already had a good life, and this has made it better, yes, but I can't get any better than I already am. If you get my meaning."
The grin on his face, smoothed out into a smile. "Yeah, I get it. You're a brilliant man, Wilfred, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."
"Hah, never. Let anyone tell me otherwise that is."
The Doctor clapped his hand on Wilf's shoulder and laughed. "Let's get you home for a bit then, shall we. What's taking Donna so long?"
They waited another two minutes, before Donna came in, carrying a box and grinning in that smug way that made the Doctor want to run in the opposite direction. She had planned something. He was worried about what. All he could hope was that it wasn't a surprise for him.
"What's in the box, love?" Wilf asked, and Donna laughed and winked at the man.
"A little present for mum. Saves us a trip somewhere first. It's a toaster. Like the one you used to have, Doctor. Found it in my room, compliments of the TARDIS."
He couldn't help but laugh at that. The TARDIS was conspiring against Sylvia then? Well, that was unlikely, but it did seem fitting. It was a joke of sorts, and she did have a bit of a wicked sense of humour. "Well, then it is just meant to happen then. Wilf just informed me he wants to go home for a bit, and if he wants to come with us again, he'd call. This will stop an unnecessary trip to get an actual gift. All up, it works for all of us!"
He quickly put in the coordinates and got the TARDIS going, and all the while Donna grinned at him in that way that said she was happy with what he was doing and was proud of him. He grinned back, before the TARDIS landed with a bit of a bump in the backyard of the Noble residence.
This time they weren't so lucky. Sylvia was in the backyard when they landed, hanging out washing on the line. A sparkling white shirt landed in the dirt, and the Doctor had the short lived pleasure of hearing Sylvia scream.
Donna exited with her gift in her hands and just went right on inside. Wilf exited next, hugging his daughter on the way indoors and he went out last, just as the shirt was picked back up and thrown back into the basket to be washed again. He quickly shut the door and grinned at the stunned woman. "Hi! Hope you don't mind us landing in the backyard. Do you have tea? I could use a cuppa right about..."
"What the hell are you doing, putting that box on my garden!" shrieked Sylvia, pointing to the remnants of what used to be a small patch of herbs.
"Oh, oops. Sorry. I can replace them easily enough if you want me to. I could even pay if you...want."
He was given a glare that could rival Jackie Tyler's slaps in their fierceness and he quickly cleared his throat and followed the other two into the house. By the time he got in there, the jug had boiled and four cups were waiting. There were only two teabags.
"Tea! Brilliant! I think I'm about to be yelled at for squashing the herb garden. The TARDIS chose the perfect place to land this time, and now I'm in for it. It's always the mothers! First Jackie, then Francine and now your mum, Donna. I can't escape it."
He found it frustrating, but hilarious at the same time, and to make things worse he began laughing just as Sylvia stormed her way back inside the house. He felt the blow on the back of his head, but hadn't expected it. His forehead fell onto the table in front of him from the force of it.
He blinked away stars, and then found himself blinking through tears of pain. "Ow. That hurt. That...really hurt." He rubbed slightly at his head, thankful that the pain would hopefully fade soon.
"Serve you right. Coming in here and wrecking my home. Only thing you're good at far as I know of you, destroying things."
It was enough to get him right out of his good mood. It was true, it always was and will been. The only thing he was good at was destroying things. He bowed his head and nodded. "Yeah, I seem to do that a lot. Can't go anywhere without destroying something. Nothing ever lasts around me. I'm just...going to go back to the TARDIS now. Leave you alone."
Donna did something he never thought she would ever do before he could get back outside. She slapped her mum across the face and glared at her. "Don't you dare say things like that about him. It's not true. He apologised for it. I heard him. It's not his fault the TARDIS landed where she did."
He frowned. "I can't exactly control her like I should. Never have been able to. I wasn't her first pilot. It is my fault, though. Everything is my fault. It is always my fault. I'm going alright? You don't have to worry about me wrecking your home any further."
He turned and walked out, aware that he was about to crash. He opened the TARDIS, went inside her and let himself slide down her door, burying his head in his hands. "Damn it. I am so fed up of crying!"
He felt her trying to calm him down, nudging his mind with hers, and giving off waves of loving concern over his wellbeing. It only made him feel worse.
Why was it that when he felt really bad all the time he barely cried, but now that he was beginning to feel better, he seemed to be constantly crying? It was annoying, it was embarrassing and, most importantly, it was not him. He was the one who could keep his emotions hidden from everyone behind a mask. He was the one that made mania look good.
When had that changed? He had kept it up all the time with Rose, and half the time with Martha. Now with Donna his mask was crumbling and he didn't want anyone to see him like this. As soon as he had made his mind up to just leave and go off alone for a bit, a knock was heard from the door.
Sighing and rubbing at his eyes, still wet and red, he opened it up a crack and looked out. Wilf stood there, looking down at him.
"What are you doing down there on the floor? Come on, up you get. Join me out here. It's nice weather today."
He shook his head, not sure he'd be able to even speak with how closed up his throat still was. He sniffed and was surprised when Wilf handed a hankie to him through the crack in the door. He shook his head again. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin something else. He'd rather have his nose drip all over the place.
He expected the man to leave after that, so was rather surprised yet again, when Wilf sat on the ground by the TARDIS and smiled at him. "Donna went off at her mum, just so you know. She said something which made my Sylvia feel guilty as anything too. We had a neighbour who had Depression. She ended up overdosing on pills. She left only a general note too, to no one in particular."
The Doctor stared at Wilf, wondering what some stranger killing herself had anything to do with him.
Wilf must have caught on, as he shook his head and continued on. "The last person to speak with her was Sylvia. She told her to suck it up and get on with it. She blamed herself for a long time for her death. She didn't mean for her to go kill herself, she meant for her to live, but she doesn't really see how her words can hurt sometimes."
Clearing his throat, he nodded slightly. "She couldn't have said anything worse to get me upset..." he said, his voice hoarse and he coughed afterwards.
"So Donna said. She also said that it wasn't your fault either. That it is just how things work around you. You defend places and people that normally wouldn't be defended. You do things that most people wouldn't be able to do to help. And sometimes that doesn't work and people get hurt or die and places get destroyed. She also told us about some aliens called ood and something about living shadows and a library."
"She talked about the Library? She ended up stuck in a virtual alternate reality and was married to this guy who she really did love. She had two kids. She found out that they weren't real. She lived that. To her she has lost two children and a husband."
Wilf sighed at that and nodded. "She told me over the phone. I think she also called that Martha woman who was over last time you were. They're friends and talk all the time from my reckoning."
The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, she told me after Midnight that she had kept in contact with Martha. And I knew she'd keep in touch with you."
"Oh, I told her to keep me posted on every stop you two make out there. Last place was this Midnight. She seemed to be really enjoying herself. Said the view was spectacular, all made of diamonds and sparkling. Leisure planet wasn't it? What happened?"
He told him. Everything. His doubts at what it was that scared him most. The fascination that the creature made him feel, while everyone else accused him of helping it because of that. How they threatened to throw him out just to get to Sky. About how it could have been his fault to begin with just for asking the driver and mechanic to crack the visor to look outside. That the hostess whose name they hadn't even asked for sacrificed her own life to save him, just to keep the others on board safe as it was her job to do so.
He told him of the way he had talked to Sky and learnt a bit about her life during the cruise. How she had been certain that the creature, whatever it was, had chosen her. Of how frightened he had been when it had captured him, making him unable to move, unable to defend himself. The terror of being dragged towards the door, with the men on board all ready to throw him out, believing him now to be possessed by the thing inside Sky. Of how simple sayings he had said coming out of Sky's mouth had given it away only to the hostess who had listened to what he had said even though he hadn't thought she had.
By the time he had finished he was tired. With the sun beginning to set he didn't know if he was tired from telling what had happened fully for the first time, or if it was because it was getting late and his sleep pattern still wasn't fully back to normal, or if it was because he had cried rather heavily earlier.
Donna and her mum hadn't come out and bothered them. Either Donna had warned Sylvia off of him, or had sent her grandfather out to talk to him to begin with. Either way, he felt like a weight had been taken off of his shoulders to have finally told someone the whole story.
He hadn't had a panic attack or flashback or had anything bad happen either. That relieved him more than anything else. He really was getting better, even if he did still have emotional outbursts.
They stayed silent for a while, until it got dark, before Wilf squeezed his shoulder and gestured towards the door to the house. "Come on, Doctor. No one's going to yell at you. Dinner should be ready by now. Baked dinner I heard. The two girls had started on it when I came out here to speak with you."
The relief he felt was beginning to rush away in a slight fear of stepping back into the house. He didn't really want to see Sylvia again right then, but he knew that Donna wouldn't let him stay in the TARDIS by himself for too long.
Reluctantly he got to his feet and shuffled his way forwards, Wilf's arm on his shoulder a comfort to him. He stilled at the door, before sighing loudly and going that last step inside. Donna was setting the table as he walked in and smiled at him, before pointing to the seat he was supposed to sit in. He sat. He didn't know what else to do at that moment, especially since Sylvia was then dishing out plates of food not two steps away from the table.
He felt faint and remembered that he hadn't eaten much dinner the past two nights. His appetite had been returning to him, he had already known that, but right now he found himself really hungry. Unconsciously he licked his lips and sent a look of longing towards the food.
He wouldn't steal any though, since he didn't think he'd be able to handle being yelled at without going through another embarrassing outburst.
A plate was put in front of him, and though it was still rude, he started eating before the next plate was put on the table. Donna grinned at him. "What were you talking about outside? Every time I looked out the window, you were chatting away."
The Doctor choked on a bit of potato and swallowed heavily, before speaking. "What happened on Midnight mostly."
"Really? You alright?"
He looked at her and speared a few beans on his fork. "Yeah. I'm fine. I feel kind of relieved, actually. And hungry. And tired. Think I'll sleep as long as you tonight. I'm still waiting for my sleep pattern to get back to normal, but I'm getting there."
"You got it all out this time, and not just bits and pieces? That'll probably do you the world of good."
He nodded and shrugged. "Probably. Still a bit overemotional though."
"Well, as long as you know it, then I know to expect it, don't I? I've been putting up with you this long, so don't think I'll leave now. Nah! Can't get rid of me that easily Spaceman."
That made him smile and nod. "Yeah. We make a good team. I get into trouble and you slap the hell out of anyone standing in the way. Perfect."
Donna nodded and went back to eating for a bit. The table was quiet until the last of the food had gone, and he felt comfortably full and good again because of it. His eyes were beginning to close on him with the urge to sleep, but it was still early for that yet, so he shook his head and rubbed at his face and froze when Donna asked him a question he really hadn't been expecting.
"Doctor, if we had found Lee in the Library, would he have travelled with us as well? He didn't really have anything to go back to."
Frowning, he thought of that. He had no idea what Lee had been like, only that he had loved Donna and Donna had loved him. Well, that pretty much would have settled it for him. "Yeah. Just no children on the TARDIS, well, unless they are in their teens. Teens I can do. I usually get along with teenagers."
Donna smiled brightly at him at that, before she got up and begun to pile up the dirty plates. Wilf took his telescope and went outside. Apparently he had a hill to stargaze on and went up there every night no matter the weather.
Sylvia stayed at the table and did nothing other than stare at him. He blinked at her. "What?"
"You're an alien?"
He blinked and frowned. "Umm, I thought that had been established last time I was here. With me yelling about it and all. And Donna and Jack and me were talking about the TARDIS. And that we had all been travelling trough time and space. Don't blame you for not believing it. Most humans wouldn't until proven wrong. Like Donna. She missed everything until her wedding day, and then she saw everything."
Sylvia sniffed. "You made her the way she is. She's lazy and won't do anything anymore, and it's because of you."
He raised an eyebrow at that and snorted out in laughter. "Lazy? Only when she isn't moving. You have no idea just how active she has been. Before she started travelling with me, she was playing detective. She couldn't tell you, but she did it brilliantly. Not a lot of people could actually track me down, but she did it. We ended up investigating the same thing at the same time. It's almost like destiny or fate or...or some other word that means it was meant to be."
Rolling her eyes, Sylvia shook her head. "You better not be..."
"We're not sleeping together! Why does everyone think we're a couple?"
Donna joined them after that, sitting herself down in the seat next to her mother and frowned. "Oh god, not you too. You know me mum, I don't like skinny guys, and the Doctor is a stick."
"Thank you! See? Not having sex. We're not even the same species. Of course if it's only your own species you're allowed to have sex with, I'll never have sex again. Good thing my people weren't that sexual."
Donna laughed and shook her head. "How did you start talking about sex to my mum? That is so not right."
He grinned back. "She brought it up."
"Play nice, you two. I don't want any trouble in the form of half alien grandchildren. Not that I think I'll end up having grandchildren."
Donna rolled her eyes at that. "Mum, I'll have children if I find the right guy. Too bad that the right guy for me wasn't real..."
He would have answered, but instead just yawned widely, before sighing into his hand. "I really wish I could sleep normally right now. I'm really tired."
"Yeah, well, use a bed tonight, not a couch. I don't want you complaining of a sore neck again."
He laughed at that and nodded. "Yeah. I will. Night Donna, Sylvia."
"Night," the two women replied as he got up, stretched and went back to the TARDIS. Well, at least now he seemed to be in Sylvia's good books.
He didn't bother changing into his pyjamas, instead he collapsed onto his bed and he was in a deep sleep almost instantly. He did catch the TARDIS soothing him further with her song before sleep overtook his senses, and it left him with a slight smile on his face.